The Deep, Mystical Secrets of Clan Rules

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

The Deep, Mystical Secrets of Clan Rules

        Every clan needs rules. Otherwise they wouldn't have any rules! We can't have that, can we? Of course not! Therefore I have endeavored to explain the intricate details of Klan Roolz in this article. Enjoy!

        First off, your clan rules are important. Therefore, we need them to be noticed. The best way to do this is to use the biggest font size allowed, and a bright color, preferably orange. Cyan works well too. Extra credit if you use a catchy font like Comic-Sans! Obviously, remember to avoid spoilers, as nobody ever opens spoilers.

        Now comes the fun part - making up your rules! The first one should be that members must obey the game rules, because everybody does it. Most of them also include a nice little link to the game rules, too. Add a link in yours... But not to the game rules! After all, who actually reads that stuff? No, your link should go to the classic trollface image, or perhaps some random meme. This will display your unique sense of humor, and keep your rules exciting!

        Next, you should definitely add a rule allowing yourself to choose who gets the gold during training, as this will let you actually get a Gold Bil! You might also add a condition that the best clan member will get the gold, as this will allow you to justify taking that precious Gold Bil while praising yourself! Genius, right?

        Another important one is the respect rule. Require praise twice daily from all members, visitors will be impressed by how much your members love you! Until they figure out that all the clan members are your alts, anyway. Be careful not to extend this rule to other clans, who cares if your members insult another clan? Besides the other clan, of course. Finally, it might be smart to add a stipulation that your members can't mock each other - you know, in case anyone actually applies to join your clan. You wouldn't want anyone insulting your alt, am I right?

        Of course, there are certain things one doesn't do. Don't worry though, I'm here to make sure you don't make those mistakes! First and foremost, do not include a rule about profanity. This type of rule would infringe on freedom of speech, and we can't have that! No, encourage your members to express themselves! Who cares if they get banned, they're alts, for crying out loud!

        Also to be avoided are rules against spying on other clans - all is fair in love and war! Spying might give you that tactical advantage necessary to defeat your other alts the opposing clan!
Finally, avoid training attendance requirements like the plague. I mean, those would require you to actually organize a training session, heaven forbid!

That wasn't so bad, was it? It was? Really? Well, I guess there's no accounting for taste!

 

Disclaimer:

DragonOfStorms is not responsible or liable for bans, warnings, decline of reputation, or any other negative impact caused by reading and applying this article. He'll gladly take credit for the good stuff though!

Edited November 13, 2016 by DragonOfStorms

[thunderousrailgunner 1,934]

Nice ..

 

Trainings are the hard part in clan formation ..

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Nice! You should add a link to my clan advice column cuz after all thats where it started XD

[KillerGnat 3,135]

^It's satire.... xD

 

 

GJ Drag :), loved it.

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Nice ..

 

Trainings are the hard part in clan formation ..

Thank you!

 

Nice! You should add a link to my clan advice column cuz after all thats where it started XD

Thanks, will do!

 

^It's satire.... xD

 

 

GJ Drag :), loved it.

Thanks!

[Jwimmer 2,835]

I like the mix of satire and actual good advice. Keep it up!

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

LOOOOOOL

That was hilarious! Gj storm

[TTK_229 1,080]

To those of house looxurs not in HD, ournclanmis exactly like this. Except that he nevermlet me take a gold in clanwar :'(

[r_Tellurium1 9]

Not all clans are like this, but I see where you are coming from, but I never heard of any serious clan posting links to memes and those type of stuff. 

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Not all clans are like this, but I see where you are coming from, but I never heard of any serious clan posting links to memes and those type of stuff. 

This is satire...

 

He is the leader of a clan..

[basenji7 1,199]

To those of house looxurs not in HD, ournclanmis exactly like this. Except that he nevermlet me take a gold in clanwar :'(

Dossy no giv u gold becaus u ar nuub  :ph34r:

 

HD proo clan plx  :lol:

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Not all clans are like this, but I see where you are coming from, but I never heard of any serious clan posting links to memes and those type of stuff. 

Very few, if any, clans are like this. This article is a satirical look at clan rules. Please don't actually follow this advice, as I'm being sarcastic here :lol:

 

 

Updated my rank in the article, as the forum won't... IDK why, I'm clearly a Legend...

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Quite amusing satire, I very much appreciate the dryness of the humor.  :lol:  My one advice would be to try and format it in a slightly more engaging fashion, between font-colored headlines, colorings, the "[.hr]" insert, and other formatting tools. It would help break up the text nicely.

Edited November 13, 2016 by Blackdrakon30

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

True. This article is so old now though, I probably won't go back to edit it.