Keepin' It Real (Issue 2) -- Ranking Up

[Ruodrik 26]

 

Everything in this article is sarcastic. I shouldn't have to be saying this, but please don't blame me for anything you do that you got from this article that affects you negatively.

 

 

KEEPIN' IT REAL

#2: RANKING UP

 

Ah, we meet again tankers! The last time I wrote an article, I talked about how to catch gold boxes. Today, I will tell you how to act and how to earn that last bit of XP before ranking up. Grab your popcorn, yank the person nearest to you (even if it's a stranger) to your electronic device, relax, and get ready to dig into this article about how to rank up like a boss!

 

Before you even rank up, you need to make sure to get that last bit of XP. Even if you're only one kill away from ranking up, you need to start a sixty-minute battle to make it almost certain that you rank up! Wait for someone else to join the battle on the opposing side, then kill them. It may take a few minutes to finally destroy them, but when you do you will rank up. Even after you rank up, stay in the battle. You need to make sure you claim the crystals you were awarded. If your opponent leaves and nobody else joins, this benefits you because now you will be receiving the most crystals in the battle.

 

The most important thing about ranking up in recording it. But why should you record it? You will never play it back to yourself, and the most you will ever get out of it is a quality video on YouTube. Even if you have a famous Tanki YouTube channel, you'll probably only get around 2,000 views out of it. Who cares about that little of views? Unless you're expecting to get ten million views out of the video, you should rather savor the moment for yourself instead of showing it to the world.

 

The next important thing is how to act when you rank up. When you rank up, you will most likely receive a comment in the chat congratulating you on your achievement. You may think that this is a polite thing, but really it is a low degree of SABOTAGE! If they take five seconds out of the battle to tell you "congratulations" they are potentially risking the capturing of a flag in CTF, being destroyed in TDM, or losing the point in CP (or if the point isn't yours, risking potentially getting the point in the nick of time to win by a point or so!) This will result in a loss of crystals that you could have had if they hadn't stopped for five seconds to tell you "congratulations." If THEY are going to waste THEIR time, then it's your duty to tell them to get back to playing and to stop chatting. This way they will think of you as a leader and will continue to battle for your team. They will respect you more as a leader but know they are being disciplined for their actions or inactions. The only form of congratulating after a rank up is to fight harder for your team, to make sure you win the battle you're in as a "congratulations" gift.

 

That's all for this time tankers. Remember, when you're about to rank up start a sixty-minute battle and stay through the entirety of the battle, NEVER record yourself ranking up, and make sure nobody congratulates you when you rank up so they continue to fight hard for your team. Now that you know the protocol, get right into a battle and start working towards your next rank-up today!

 

 

~by Ruodrik~

[ToHoYoNTaDa 1,147]

Good work, newbie!

[BLASTER872 1,892]

I like the mix of sarcasm and of real things, such as saying "gz" wastes valuable time. Keep at it!

[Ruodrik 26]

I like the mix of sarcasm and of real things, such as saying "gz" wastes valuable time. Keep at it!

 

Good work, newbie!

Thanks guys!

[anuclearbomb 220]

Try to add more pictures, because when I see "wall of text" and it's not a story, I lose interest...

Other than that, not bad at all...

[Ruodrik 26]

Try to add more pictures, because when I see "wall of text" and it's not a story, I lose interest...

I'm not that much of a "picture book" sort of guy. Writing is my specialty, photography isn't.

 

not bad at all...

Thanks!

[anuclearbomb 220]

I'm not that much of a "picture book" sort of guy. Writing is my specialty, photography isn't.

 

Thanks!

Ah, I see, well it was good none-the-less, and I'll be checking out your future stuff.

[Hex 11,520]

(rofl)