The Kewl Kind of Travel - Chapter 1

[ahhegazy 7]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Sphegel (s-fee-g-el)

Continent: Coronal

Year: 3473

 

    In the much-feared and increasingly irritating area of the supermassive black hole known as Sagittarius-A in the Galaxy strangely named The Milky Way, there floats a planet named Sphegel on which lay the continent Coronal. This continent, when it was uninhabited and before it had a name, was known for its resemblance to a sniper’s crosshair throughout the history of passing-by space/time ships, mostly because it looked like two overlapping rings circling the planet. This planet, once discovered, was expected to have been sucked into the supermassive black hole within seconds. However, it continued to ignore the gravitational pull emitted by Sagittarius-A, just as it had for the previous 12 billion years, for this planet had a rather powerful will to defy the declarations that the planet’s impending doom was to come soon, and it did so because this particular sphere of land and water strongly disliked those so-called “geniuses” that insisted upon insisting that Sphegel was destined to die.

   

Due to its remote location (which did not appear to be very remote, as it was literally in the center of the galaxy) and the general fear of spaghettification, most creatures had a tendency to avoid the planet and anything nearby. In spite of this, a delusional felon, a certain Insaniam Convertunt, and her team of (as she called them) lesser beings, appeared to have constructed a lair on the planet Sphegel, and none of the government officials seemed to notice or take action of any sort.

   

Kewl Note: It was known before the construction that the Galactic Police would not dare venture into the uncharted area of Sagittarius-A, for they too fear a dose of being fatally spaghettified, resulting in the purposeful choice of the area of the lair.

   

Strangely, Convertunt, who was known to speak of universal domination several times, had plans that did not include universal domination. However, they did include universal destruction, called universal not because everything in the universe would be destroyed, but because the universe itself would be.

   

But, to avoid killing herself in the act, she would have to transport herself (and her team) to another universe. To do this she would need to build a Multiverse Traveller, a machine from approximately 6384 years in the future, although it did have one record of existence some years previously. Upon hearing this, Convertunt experienced a wave of extreme elation; however, this bliss ended several seconds later, when she heard that the Multiverse Traveller had been destroyed by the Galactic Police in the hopes of putting an end to Convertunt’s madness.

   

“I could build one myself,” she thought to herself, but she was incorrect. Most people associate insanity with highly intelligent mad scientists, and while Insaniam Convertunt did seem to have the mad quality, the highly intelligent quality had been replaced by the very dense quality, thus rendering her incapable of building such a machine.

   

Even she, with her record of low brain activity, was smart enough to know that she would be unable to build the Traveller, so instead of wasting her time attempting such a feat, she tried to steal a time machine, and insider spies brave enough to go to Sphegel claimed that her plans were to travel back in time to when the Multiverse Traveller was intact to seize the Traveller, come back to the present, then proceed to destroying the universe.

   

Kewl Note: Technically, when travelling in time, there is no such thing as the present, as the past is the present to the people of the past, and the future is the present to the people of the future.

   

Another Kewl Note: In spite of the spies saying that Convertunt wanted to destroy the universe, the question of how she would do that remained shrouded in mystery, although there was a rumor concerning a suspicious number of explosives. Draw your own conclusions.

   

It had been several days since Convertunt had started searching for the time machine, and all beings knew of what was to come, except for those to whom Convertunt referred to as the idiotic Galactic Police officers.
 

 

 

 

Part 2 coming when Donald Trump does another 10 idiotic things, so, presumably, next week.

 

Edited April 15, 2017 by ahhegazy

[tweezers 1,034]

Approved. 

 

-Spaced the paragraphs to make it readable. 

 

Kewl. I want moar! :P

[Tofu 6,773]

I see inspiration from Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy :lol:

Well written

Very kewl

[Mr.Meowth 72]

Middle alignment to the Title pic pls :)

[ahhegazy 7]

I see inspiration from Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy :lol:

Well written

Very kewl

That is true, I sorta did base it off of ​And Another Thing, "part 6 of 3" in Hitchhiker's

Edited April 15, 2017 by Tofu
There is a part 6 :O

[Kuhaku 87]

on another planet, would they really follow the continental system like we do?

 

and on another planet would they really follow the exact yearly calendar like we do?

 

Overall however, good story, can't wait to see mroe