Congratulations for ranking up, @skyman17!

K, so I've heard of about half a dozen of them our of the list of 35 there - and out of those 6, only 3 are/have been regular posters in various areas of the forum. Which still doesn't guarantee popularity. This is just a list of friends, anyone entering the forum and picking a selection of random players who actually post here would easily be able to do a more accurate job. I think that if this topic is to be kept, it may be best to edit it so that it says 'List who you think are popular - here's my own selection', and then players would be able to take part in this topic by doing so. But I think there already is a 'most famous tankers' forum topic for that, so...

Thank you for providing us with such a revolutionary concept, m8. I will never forget the valuable information imparted in this topic. Thank you.

Awesome... I like your experimentation with the different sound effects, great stuff. I already knew you're a natural at piano/keyboard, but clearly you're not too bad at composing either... "We never die" ;) I presume that when a mine runs out of gold that only rock is left, so I guess so! Though the mines themselves wouldn't 'become' rocks, just to be pedantic :P (Thanks to MM2 for also providing effective answers to the above questions in the meantime) It really depends how much you want either of them. IMO, depending on the number of crystals you have, you should purchase neither and save up to get Freeze M2 at WO5 (considering that you seem to like it), and then Hornet M2 at Second Lieutenant. Then, you'd pretty much have a fairly reliable combo to set yourself up for most of the M2 ranks. But if you had to buy one of those two, I'd go for Twins M1 - it's not a great idea to have so many hulls upgraded and only one upgraded weapon, though Hunter/Freeze is definitely effective. Alternatively, if you want to commit yourself to Hunter/Freeze (IMO that's a good idea as the combo is actually very effective, despite the fact that Hornet's more common), then try getting Hunter M1 now (maybe at a sale), Freeze M2 when you rank, and then Hunter M2 at Captain. Ultimately, it's your choice; though I hope this advice was somewhat helpful. No problem, I actually like maths questions too xD And that basically says: i 8 sum pi, where i is the 'imaginary unit' (which I'm not supposed to know about yet so thanks for that :P) and where sigma represents 'the sum of' --> I ate some pie. Quite clever, actually! Having looked at the topic, I like the idea - so I have a positive impression of it, basically. It'd be an interesting game-mode, at least. My main criticism (and probably quite a major one) is that due to its complexity, it would unfortunately be unlikely to ever be implemented, as it may be judged that the benefits of introducing such a mode would not outweigh the costs of putting such a mode into practice (i.e. very time-consuming designing, development/programming, testing, and implementation). Also consider the fact that after all this effort, such a change, whilst significant, may not really be seen as so 'revolutionary' for the game as a whole - and so the developers would probably want to use their time elsewhere, through developing the game in other ways. So, the idea itself is nice in theory - but it falls down in terms of the two factors as to whether it'd be worth the potentially large amount of time/resources needed, and whether it'd benefit the game that much. The fact that Control Points already exist (yes, you can argue your idea's different and more advanced, but the gameplay style of pushing for control of areas of a map could be seen as essentially the same) is the final nail in the metaphorical coffin here, in my opinion. You're allowed to disregard what I've said here of course, but I just wanted to put your idea into a functional context too, rather than just pointing out that it's good like everyone else on your topic. In the real world, an idea itself being good doesn't necessarily mean it would succeed.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. An Irishman walks out of a bar. Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

Nope - the rest are in Am Series. I'm sure there will be more EN clans in the Pro Series in the future, Top Gun for example seem to have some potential with their SL squad at the moment.

There's no known absolute 'cure' for most types of dementia, but as your topic demonstrates, there are things which can be used to help prevent or treat dementia. Joker answered this one pretty well. Well, to obtain a female's cell number you would have to ask said female, and present a convincing enough case for said female to say yes. How you do that is entirely up to you :P Mr. Flae is the fortune teller around here, though a guess of sometime this month is probably sensible. Depends how often you play, really. I guess they can be sometimes, but not always. I actually get along well with my sibling ^_^ If you play that frequently, I think you could get to Generalissimo within about a year from now. Go for whichever you find works best... heh. 1. Kidnap @Lhamster. 2. Force him to tell you his secret plan for future world domination. SIDE NOTE: Contantly throwing university course textbooks at him until he cracks under the pressure is the best way to go about this. 3. Execute said secret plan for future world domination. I seem to recall it was a prehistoric Orange mobile though I don't know for sure, but it wasn't particularly good. I could be mainstream and say 21st Century Fox, but I actually don't really have one... = 158,551,704 / 33,443 - 7,469,289 = 158,551,704 / -7,435,846 = -21.322618. My bad xD Cloaky gave a good answer to this one :P Congrats on ranking... right? xD This question will not be answered as it concerns the privacy of players other than myself, sorry.

...

He's not a dog. He's the Dreadwolf. And he told me to say this, BTW.

Correct! Here you go:

Got a couple of pics, then left to give other players the space in the battle: Spot Mr. Kirov in the second pic to earn a free cookie :P

Thanks for the feedback. Do you have any arguments with which you wish to back your statement up?

So you can insult others for entering, yet you'd be too embarrassed to enter yourself? Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house, m8. Great job everyone, my favourite entry was actually 's one, though it was obvious that @tanker538N deserved to win from the start. Top quality stuff.

Welcome, readers! Do you think you're able to manipulate language and structure in the fashion of a skilled poet? Can you craft a poem which is involving, sophisticated and original? If so. this contest is for you! The task. Write any sort of poem you want to. The only requirement is that it has to be related to both Tanki Online and Halloween. Poems that do not meet this requirement will not have a good chance of success. The criteria. - Quality of writing: How well is your poem written (in terms of language choices and themes)? Are there any grammatical errors? - Originality: Is there a unique idea or theme to your poem? Getting your entry in earlier may help in this respect! - Structure: You can structure your poem in any way you wish to, but the best poems will have an organised and coherent layout! The example. This is a poem which I submitted for a similar contest held exactly a year ago, when I was not a Reporter: The reward. 1st place: 30,000 crystals. 2nd place: 20,000 crystals. 3rd place: 10,000 crystals. Any other entries which are worthy of note may receive small consolation prizes of 5,000 crystals each. Post your entries in this topic - you can ask me any questions related to this contest through PM. The deadline is the end of 21st November. Start writing!

Read the first part of this series here: The Insurgence: Massacre. Read the second part of this series here: The Insurgence: Sandbox (Part 1). Read the third part of this series here: The Insurgence: Sandbox (Part 2). Recap (the ending section of the previous part): ______________________________ I was taken to the barracks, which, they told me, would be my living area for the next few months. It seemed that I was the newest recruit to arrive, although a fair few there didn't seem to have upgraded equipment, either. "How did you do it?" I turned, and found that a small crowd of my fellow recruits had gathered behind me. They must've been waiting there for my return from the training arena, I realised. "Do... what, exactly?" I responded, still slightly disoriented from the whole respawn process which I'd just undergone twice, some minutes earlier during training. "Get a kill on the Major, duh!" I sighed, as I remembered the events of training. Apparently, it was a big deal - the recruit standing before me had said these words with a mixture of awe and wonder in his voice. I still didn't see what was so impressive - I'd lost, for heavens' sake - and my performance was hardly anything fancy. "Oh yeah, that..." I replied, trying to think of something cool to say to these guys, who I'd be training alongside for the next few months, until we finally earned fully upgraded equipment. Fortunately, I was saved from answering by the appearance of the Major. Everyone was instantly silent, and turned his way - I could sense an aura of respect, but now some were also turning to glace at me. I felt as though I wanted the ground to open up and engulf me as the Major looked towards me, too. "Alright, alright, so one of you kids got a kill on me - big deal!" he said, sounding half-exasperated and half-amused by the behaviour of my fellow recruits, and giving me a pointed glance. "But I'm hardly the best there is, and to be honest, that was probably just a lucky kill" I felt something rise within me in protest of such a casual dismissal, at this point. Was it pride? Anyway, I thought to myself, I'd better keep that emotion under control here, because this guy probably won't take arrogance from his trainees too well! "If you recruits wanna rise up the ranks and prove yourselves to us, you guys are gonna have to TRAIN HARD!" He bellowed the last two words out of nowhere, and all of us jumped. This definitely wasn't someone I wanted to cross. "Follow me." The Major led us back to the training ground again. I groaned. I just knew that now he was going to take this opportunity to pulverise me in front of my fellow recruits. Spotting the look on my face, he smiled, and pointed at me. Everyone turned at the same time - it was like they were running on automatic whenever they did that. "You, whats-ya-name, you're up!" he exclaimed, jabbing towards the training arena. Once again, I felt angry emotions rise within me at being addressed in such a way. "You will address me by my rank," I imagined responding curtly. Then I laughed at such a thought - Recruit is hardly something to show off about! Smiling to myself, I trundled up towards the arena. "Hey, what's so funny, eh?" The Major was staring at me now. "Nothing," I quickly responded, the smile vanishing from my face. "Good," he replied, and suddenly smiled. This guy had a volatile personality, that's for sure, I thought. "Alright, you'll be his training partner," he said, indicating one of my fellow recruits to join me. I breathed a sigh of relief - I wasn't going to have to face the Major again, after all - but this was quickly replaced by apprehension as I saw my training partner. My training partner, it seemed, had a rather oversized tank. I'd heard about this recruit - apparently, he was one of the few who'd managed to escape the chaos of Massacre and get to our base all by himself. The General told me that it was rare, and that he'd been able to do that as a recruit. He'd assured me it was just luck more than anything at the time, and that it didn't indicate that I was worse than them - only training would reveal how skilled I'd turn out - but that it meant that some of them managed to get their hands on more advanced equipment earlier on. After all, they'd had more experience of getting through a hostile environment. I turned to my training partner again as he entered the arena, and saw that his bulky hull was in fact a Mammoth, though not yet upgraded. This hull could withstand an intense firefight and still come out alive, I'd been told, and it certainly did look like a formidable fortress. "Do we just... start?" my training partner asked. His voice was surprisingly soft, and from the sound of it, he was actually at least as apprehensive as I felt. Maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. "Yeah, yeah, go ahead," motioned the Major, as he procured a clipboard from a compartment in his hull. On the billboard, the timer showing the length of the duel began to count down. But I wasn't feeling any fear at all now. I was the one in control here, I'd been through it before and came out with my honour intact. Plus, I knew how to deal with this opponent. After all, I'd seen the Major tackle a similar opponent when I first entered the base. My training partner slowly advanced. And I mean slowly - this guy wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. But then I saw something glow at the end of his barrel, and I instinctively dived for cover as a piercing shot tore through the air where I had just been standing. This was the same weapon those snipers in Massacre had! Trying to clear my head of the sudden panic this fact had created, I cautiously peeked around the corner wall behind which I was sheltering to see where my training partner was. He was still some distance away, it seemed... and even though I'd come out of cover for a few moments, he didn't shoot? Had the duel been stopped? I glanced towards the Major, puzzled. The Major, who was sitting at the periphery of the arena with the rest of the recruits, just smiled. Alright, so there must be some sort of reason why my training partner wasn't shooting... I racked my brains, and a few words of information which the General had imparted to me on the journey to the base sprung to mind. "Ah, reload... Some tanks have weapons which reload faster than others. Don't forget that - you can definitely use it to your advantage." Those words hadn't made much sense to me previously, but now they clicked into place. My training partner wasn't firing... because he couldn't fire! I chanced it, and ducked out of cover. This time, his weapon began to glow again, and I hurriedly returned to cover as I felt a rush of hot air sear past me. Wait... so now he was reloading... I should seize this chance! Almost as soon as I thought this, I dived out of cover, and began pelting him with the rapid-fire Smoky shots that I'd become used to aiming. He was clearly taken by surprise, and struggled to continue his advance... and then started backing away! I'd won this, he had no chance now... And then his turret began to glow. I continued to fire frantically - why hadn't he been destroyed yet? - and then realisation dawned on me. I'd completely forgotten about his well-protected hull. I had less than a second to brace myself for the impact before I was blasted into the air. I flipped over and over, shrapnel flying, until I crash-landed to the ground, skidding towards the very edge of the arena. I instinctively ground my gears and accelerated in the opposite direction, coming to a halt with one of my tracks hanging off the edge of the arena, and then jerked forwards, away from the edge. Instantly, I realised I'd taken a lot of damage - I could hardly move, and even worse, my vision was obscured by gaping cracks across the front of my turret... I held my breath, fired a shot in the general direction of my training partner, and I faintly saw a flash of lightning and heard a tremendous explosion. The timer on the billboard beeped as it reach zero. I'd done it! I was pretty beaten up, and felt like any more damage would be enough to blow my tank into pieces, but that didn't matter now. It was eerily quiet - it sounded like the crowd of recruits around the edge of the arena were either really stunned, or pretty bored of the whole thing - probably the latter. Then, I heard the Major speak. "Not bad. Someone take him to the garage so he can get fixed up." Then I heard his voice in front of me. "Recruit, I'm referring you onto our Advanced Training Programme. Once you've undergone repairs, I want to see you at HQ on the double."

The results are finally out! 1st Place: Both judges agreed that, unfortunately, none of the entries were worthy of this prize. 2nd Place: @DarthvaderjonGTR, winning 20,000 crystals! Click here to read the entry! 3rd Place: , winning 10,000 crystals! Click here to read the entry! The entries of the above winners have been published in this issue's The Dictator. Enjoy! _____________________________ The following entrants have won consolation prizes of 5,000 crystals: @LaserShark - entry @Thekillerpenguin - entry @tiger_of_malaysia - entry @greyat - entry @FaaiqBilal1 - entry @Scarrock - entry - entry - entry Congratulations to our winners, and thanks for taking part!

Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online newspaper, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests, anything related to the community or game, and you can trust us to cover it all. But what about all the stuff which happened this month of which you may not know? Well, here's a summary of this month's more exciting events, which may or may not have actually happened. But that's a different matter altogether. Enjoy! Gold: We have a whole host of reports for you guys this time 'round, including those which won our The Dictator contest! Thoughts and feedback on the article would be really appreciated. We'd love to hear your opinions. As always, enjoy! Hog: Once again, we'd value feedback on what YOU think is the best piece this issue to help us with future issues! Tanki Online gets its own new book series, and the EN community explodes with ideas! By @GoldRock The first book in a Tanki-based series has just been published in Russian! Consequently, none really have any idea what it's about. Rumor has it that Semyon posted an English synopsis of the book in the news topic announcing its release, but anyone attempting to visit the topic will find that its content is almost entirely concealed beneath giant "tl;dr" pop-up boxes. It is suspected that the (troll)-war hardened veterans Rob and Flea, who are 56 and 99 years old respectively, are behind such rumors. In any case, despite encouragement to visit the topic, independent reading rates in the EN community have plummeted ever since ShadeWarTee admitted he sometimes asks for assistance from his favorite teddy bear to decipher the more nonsensical posts made on the forum. Of course, EN community players and their teddy bears are discerning, eagle-eyed and relatively intelligent (especially the teddy bears), which is why many have noticed a contest has cropped up in the RU community challenging players to come up with ideas for the next book in the series. Not wanting to be left out, many in the EN community have come forward with their own suggestions. The Consultant team insists that the book start with the phrase "Read the Rules. You will find the answer there," and that the remainder of the book should consist of blank pages to emphasize this point. When asked to expand, EffBeeEye explained: "We need to take this opportunity to make a point. Copies of the book would be perfect for throwing at the heads of unfortunate players who dare to ask something when the answer can be found in the Rules. Those blank pages would really add some weight to our message. I'd suggest about a thousand of them would do." Other individuals have different ideas; Heather15905 suggested that the title of the book should be "My Life: Why I Love Myself", and that the contents should contain an epic saga of the many millions of his Real Photos and Duelist Wins, with appropriate captions (e.g. 'faaiq get rekt'). Another idea put forth by Eye.Girl.Eye was to make the book an informative guide on 'How to Effectively Change Your Username'. In a statement released, he/she said "Ideally, people should change their username more regularly. I'm contemplating creating an account on Monday called I.Monday, and changing its username to match each day of the week." The I. community is currently in the process of setting up a collective fund to finance this inspirational use of crystals. Mainstream name changes are not the only I.Ssue that members of the EN community believe deserve to be the focus of the next book in the Tanki series. In fact, two "forumers" recently became engaged in a fierce debate over how the book should be written. Kanadarools provided the extremely deep and thought provoking argument that "There's no need for grammar. Its useless," only for BlueLightOneTwoOhNine to jump in and respond "any individual with an intellectual capacity significant enough would comprehend the necessity of grammar in such a situation". But, overall, it would seem the idea provided by EragonThirtyThree garnered most support. It consisted merely of the words "Pointless topic, avoid flooding." And in the bottom, right hand corner, three up votes shone through in mutual support. DislikerOne, DislikerTwo and DislikerThree. Mine Hunt "should be renamed Sine Hunt" as shocking maths surge rises by 70% during the month! By @hogree Let's be honest, when it comes down to it, Maths is about as entertaining as watching an Isida-Mammoth duel in Dusseldorf. The words Quadratic, Vector, Trigonometry - let's just say it's rare for them to cause us to shout "More! More maths words! More!" However, when graphed as a linear equation, the concept of Maths in Tanki seems to be rising in interest at a surprisingly steep gradient. We need look no further than our own spasmodic Mine Hunts here in the English Community. Some know more than others of unholycloak5 's struggles with maths, intellectual things, and come to think of it everything - and, well, the mass influx of digits that spam the chats whenever someone joins the hunt is enough to drive even the coolest mathematician wild. The amount of mines left in contest cause endless struggles within the brain, with reports coming to us here that by the end of Mine Hunts, the majority of competitors are left in brain meltdown. This was epitomized most clearly when fighter566 apparently stated in the aftermath of a Mine Hunt "You know, I've decided, I want to have numbers in my name." Not only do Mine Hunts get sidetracked by numbers now. On a field trip round Server 1 with the rest of the staff here at The Dictator (It wasn't a date, to clarify), I discovered to my horror the regularity of standard chat deviations into maths. I needed to remark little more than "I prefer chicken" to be greeted by several maths symbols being chucked in my direction. The amount of +'s that greeted my face within little more than 10 seconds - well, it was almost as surprising as when I found an onion ring in my fries. When quizzing one of the ambassadors of the phenomenon, harjeev, regarding what positives this well-received scheme has, he replied: "On the plus side, you can practise maths while on Tanki, thus obviously giving you more chance to pass your exams." Indeed, the popularity of this saga does seem to have multiplied over recent times, dividing opinions among players although eventually, despite the fact that it does subtract from the value of conversation, it undoubtedly adds to typing speed; a very useful ability, especially for those who use only two fingers to type (not that I would know anyone who does that, would I, Gold?). What can you write about when you've run out of ideas? The secret to effective Reporting revealed! By @GoldRock The secret to effective Reporting. Ah, yes, wouldn't we all wish to know of this secret. To learn the inner secrecy of this, and to secretly keep the secret secret. This would be of the utmost secrecy. You see, secrets are meant to be secret. If people learn of secrets, and they secretly share the secrets with their secret friends (Side-note: Fen must have a lot of these), then the secrecy is destroyed, and the secret is a secret no more. So for me to secretly share this secret with you would require the highest, most secretive standards of secrecy to be adhered to. The secret must be kept secret. The secret cannot be told to anyone else, whether secretly or not, otherwise it may not remain a secret much longer. If you are prepared to abide by such secrecy, to secretly enshroud the secret within the secret depths of your mind, then I might just be able to secretly share this secret with you. But remember, be secretive. None will ever know you possess such a secret if you are secretly secretive. In fact, none need to know of this secret. For it is a secret best kept secret, apart from the few who are secretly still reading this, yet secretly cannot bring themselves to stop. Remain vigilant in your secretiveness. Are you ready to secretly discover the secret depths of this secret? Can you really cope with the secret responsibility that would entail? Would you keep the secret secretly secret from those who wish to secretly defy such a secret? Secretly, I will never know. But I trust you to be secretive, to remain vigilant about the secret you will possess and to keep it secret, secretively concealing the secret. I secretly believe that the time has come for me to reveal the secret, yet the secret has already secretly been revealed. Return of Godmode_ON sends excitement levels to new heights as rumours "fly" around community... By @hogree What is it that makes Godmode_ON special? Some say it's his 99% protection; others claim it's his incredibly rare appearances; still more say it's the 3 Gold Boxes that fall after his death. I say it's the impressively blue toilet-cleaner sprayed onto his paint. But, after his homecoming this month, rumours have suggested that what makes Godmode_ON special actually goes right over the top of our heads. Literally. Humans don't understand it - neither does GoldRock - but after months of investigation, scientists claim GodMode_ON may be able to fly. Theories arose after his appearance in Dusseldorf sparked questions regarding how he appeared. One witness, Lankbouv, claimed he saw the intimidating Thunder-Mammoth in the air during one of his respawns before Godmode_ON "joined" with the following descriptive words: "how to levitate with mammoth ok". Other sightings suggested this theory has some legitimacy, as the Slovak Tanki Tutorials Team claim they saw him floating above a palm tree on one of their parkour expeditions in Iran. Indeed, the fact that Godmode_ON claimed in one of the videos of the past that he got onto the tower in Rio from above does suggest he can float anyway, although rumour has it that he has his own spaceship. With the rumours flying around, we at The Dictator decided to try and contact Godmode_ON himself in search of an answer. In calling him, we went straight to the answer phone. Leaving a message, we awaited a return call. Three days later, a call came in from an Unknown caller. Listening intently as we picked it up, above the crackling signal, we picked out a few key words: "Don't phone...Jupiter... signal... bad....biscuits....hungry....food....". Although this suggests his ability to fly is well-grounded as Jupiter is made of gas, theorisers suggest Jupiter may have agreed to let him sit there in return for biscuits. Good call, Jupiter. Celebration and then disappointment, as Mr. Hog quits the Reporter team for around 10 minutes. By @GoldRock It all started on a fateful evening. Goldy was bantering as usual, and then Mr. Hog decided to come in and ruin the banter. This involved proposing various groundbreaking mathematical equations. The "all or nothing" deciding moment came when Mr. Hog claimed that "something times pi equals gold because circular", closely followed by an ultimatum. This explained that he would leave unless someone understood his logic. Unfortunately, no one understood his logic or his face, so after great celebration, Mr. Hog finally left the newspaper's Skype group. What came next was a barrage of sorrowful, deep and reflective messages on the part of Mr. Hog, some of which even occasionally exceeded three syllables, in which he outlined the emotional stress from which he was now suffering ("Thats it!" "It's over!" "End of a career." "Over!"). He then passed on a final message to his former colleagues: This threat was too much for Goldy, who faced a dilemma. On one hand, he was hugely enjoying the lack of Mr. Hog's presence and the general sense of satisfaction which accompanied it, but on the other hand, he didn't want to be fired next time a chicken applied to become a Reporter. Regretfully, Goldy was thus forced to make the dismal decision to add Mr. Hog back to the Skype group, who was ecstatic upon hearing the news ("I PHSYCAILLY CANT WAITJKK"). Despite the general incompetence that Mr. Hog displays through his existence, we hope our readers can support the newest member of our team, who has already been here for some hours now at the time of writing this. Now, let us hold a moment of silence for the thousands of brain cells which were killed as a result of these fateful events. Will Tanki ever go "offline" and create an actual battle arena with real tanks? By @hogree no Impending Pandemic Threatens World With Oblivion. By @DarthvaderjonGTR (Wnner in "The Dictator" Contest) Ever since the release of Tanki Online in 2008, doctors and rehabilitation centers have noticed a worrisome trend, the numbers of patients seeking medical treatment have been increasing exponentially, with no sign of slowing down anytime soon. Conservative estimates have put the current number at about 5 million cases of severe compulsive drug abusers and victims of post traumatic stress disorder a month. 99.9% of these cases have been attributed to the culprit, Tanki Online. An interview with medical specialist Professor Kirby was interrupted by a hysterical, bespectacled 12 year-old boy mourning the loss of a gold box due to the infamous "fatal error," which has also been attributed to more than 70% of cases of early onset of alopecia and many other forms of hair loss in adolescent tankers. An exasperated psychiatrist, Dr Cloak, trembled, breaking out in cold sweat as he remarked, "The number of concerned parents consulting me about their trigger happy children exhibiting symptoms of hypertension is freaking me out!" Following the brief interview, Dr Cloak disappeared down a mine shaft, leaving behind a self-destruct note wrapped in his beloved cloak. His disappearance is shrouded in mystery, and the police have deployed sniffer pigs, hoggies, in an attempt to solve the case. On with the news. International health organizations have expressed the need to reverse this worrisome trend. They have stated that "smart cool downs" were a step in the right direction. Certain healthcare professionals, though, (A certain Mr Semyon perhaps?) have displayed an uncanny and rather disturbing delight at the crisis at hand, hinting that it was "good for business." The WHO has issued an international health advisory putting the world on red alert at a possible pandemic of Tanki Online with its impending release on Unity. Detected modes of transmission include but are not limited to social media, miniclip, word of mouth, Gamescom, and other dubious exhibitions. The insurgency has been named Severe Acute Tanki Syndrome (SATS), and the virus is fatal. Personal discretion is advised. If you want to read more from The Dictator, here are the news reports from previous months! July 2014 August 2014 September 2014

What to mount on: Wasp What to mount on: Hornet What to mount on: Hunter What to mount on: Viking Welcome, readers! Many times in the past, the newspaper has focused on the weapons which make our game so dynamic and versatile. But what about the other half of these weapons? Yes, hulls. Without the right hull, many weapons can be rendered useless. But if you can find that right combination, regardless of whether it's extremely popular or hardly seen, you can be sure to dominate all of your battles. So, here's the fifth in the series; I'll be taking a look at Dictator, in order to see which weapons suit this hull best. Dictator/Smoky. Very powerful in many situations, especially at the higher modifications. With this combination, it seems that Smoky's considerable recoil and reload rate is well-balanced by Dictator's higher health and larger size. An important characteristic of Dictator is the fact that it is still maneuverable, and it can travel at a decent. albeit slower speed. It's not quite as sluggish as its heavier hull counterparts, although it doesn't possess the high speeds that lighter hulls can take advantage of, either. Some argue whether Dictator is a medium or a heavy hull. Previously it has been classed as both. It seems that the fact that this is in-between those two categories means that the hull works particularly well with Smoky. You may not see the hit-and-run tactics which can be used more often with light hulls, but this combination can take considerable damage whilst being able to traverse across most maps without the user falling asleep on the way, meaning it can reach the scene of the action when it matters. Coupled with Smoky's good range and critical hits, this is a combination which can deal significant damage whilst having significant protection. This is surely what makes it work so well. Overall effectiveness: 8/10 Dictator/Firebird. A nice combination for the use of Firebird in a defensive situation. Firebird is famous (infamous, some would say) for its high rate of damage. If you let this weapon get too close, then you're pretty much destroyed, even if you can escape the flames engulfing you. The after-burn effect should be able to finish you off. This is potentially a problem with this particular combination, however/ Due to Dictator's reduced speed, it may be frustratingly difficult to get players within the range of this dangerous weapon. However, the combination also has its positives. Use it defensively in a more crowded map, and you'll find that attackers will be forced to run into your path having a hard time taking you out due to Dictator's ability to withstand a good amount of enemy fire. In addition, Firebird's quick turret rotation speed does help to make up for the slower turning speed of Dictator, and that allows the user to control the immediate, surrounding area. However, the fact that Firebird is somewhat limited by its range does limit the rating of this combination, too. That means it really isn't always versatile in many battle situations. Overall effectiveness: 7/10 Dictator/Twins. Twins can be deadly, but it's not so suited to Dictator's characteristics. This, to be fair, isn't such a bad combination. Dictator would have just enough speed to move around the map and cause some trouble, whilst having a solid amount of health in order to allow Twins' infinite reload to be taken advantage of. For me, the major problem here (and probably the main reason why this combination isn't so common) is the build and shape of the Dictator's hull. The fact that the turret is slightly raised can make it harder to deal with combat at close quarters, and it can prove troublesome when trying to angle your line of fire to pummel opponents with rapid-fire Twins shots. This makes the combination pretty awkward to use. Twins really do work well on a hull which has a lower center of gravity firmly located towards the middle of the hull, as this allows the user to take advantage of its recoil to flip or knock off the aim of opponents. Putting Twins on Dictator means that this advantage is reduced. Also, where Dictator's speed/health balance can be effective with some weapons, health is highly valued with Twins. Because Dictator's speed isn't really as significant as Viking's, for example, it can be argued that Dictator is the awkward 'in-between' hull in terms of Twins, where you'd rather have either a little bit more health or a little bit more speed! Overall effectiveness: 6.5/10 Dictator/Railgun. This had its own game-mode until the new kids knocked it off the block. Back in the day, this combination had its own unofficial game-mode. It was known as ДP, and it was popular amongst clan players. However, after the physics changes, players found that Hornet's increased speed and drifting feature made it much more fun with Railgun, and so the XP mode exploded across the game instead! Dictator/Railgun battles are still played occasionally, though they have generally died out. Now, let's take a look at the combination itself. Formerly, Dictator was quicker, lighter and generally had less health than Viking, though it actually had more health at the highest modification and , when unlocked at Generalissimo, it's particularly sought after by players who wanted this 'next-level' hull. However, Dictator is now heavier, slower and better protected which is potentially why the ДP mode lost popularity. The gameplay with this combination is arguably less versatile. Nevertheless, it still can be effective, especially because Railgun mounts well on the shape of Dictator, making this hull particularly good for long-ranged sniping. Also let's not forget the days of the Fear Machine (Railgun's former name), when this combo was the best one available in the game! Overall effectiveness: 7.5/10 Dictator/Isida. Simply put, there are clearly better options for this short-ranged weapon. You may have noticed that the ratings for the Isida combinations of this series have been steadily decreasing. This is really because Isida is the shortest range weapon in the game, so it's is all about speed! Once an Isida latches onto an opponent, its range increases, making it much harder to escape. In addition, Isida has a health-stealing feature, allowing it to regain health as it damages other players. This means that the overall protection of a hull isn't actually as important, since Isida can be used to keep a user alive for longer in sticky situations. Let's not forget the ability of Isida to heal team-mates. This is something which requires a good amount of speed unless you want to be outrun by your own teammates as you try to help them. Basically, this combination lacks in all of these areas due to its reduced speed. It would be effective in more static situations, such as tightly enclosed maps where it could survive for a considerable amount of time when healing teammates or damaging opponents, but apart from that, this combination is not that effective. Overall effectiveness: 6/10 Dictator/Thunder. Dictator is well suited to Thunder's features, making this pretty robust. Thunder is a good weapon for dealing a fair amount of damage to multiple tanks at once from range. The health of Dictator allows it to stay alive longer in many different scenarios, whilst its speed is just enough for it to be able to keep away from close-ranged opponents. Also, the shape of Dictator actually makes things more interesting here. It can allow for some better shots, both at levels above and below a user as well as potentially providing more opportunities to take advantage of using splash damage against props or the ground to damage opponents. The fact that Dictator can still be maneuvered so that it can significantly tilt both upwards and downwards whilst possessing a higher amount of health like the heavier hulls means that this combination can be used extremely effectively at medium to long range. Overall, the characteristics of Dictator fit really well with the mid-ranged nature of Thunder making this combination very balanced both in terms of damage and protection. Overall effectiveness: 8/10 Dictator/Freeze. This can be good in defensive scenarios, but it doesn't always work well. This combination isn't too bad, actually. The fact that Dictator has a higher amount of health and half-decent speed means that this combination can be an effective positional defender, moving between different points of a base or gradually approaching midfield areas as needed. However, the fact is that Dictator just doesn't have the high levels of speed that lighter hulls possess, nor is it a fortress like Mammoth, so this combination can't always assure that Freeze is used to the maximum effectiveness. Also, Dictator is a little bulky, making attempts to freeze and circle an opponent much more difficult. Therefore, this somewhat reduces the potential effectiveness of Freeze's main, special ability. Nevertheless, this is still a good combination which can have an impact on a battle; it's just that the components of this combo don't really compliment each other that well. Overall effectiveness: 7/10 Dictator/Ricochet. Very effective, well-balanced and quite dangerous. Well, here's a combination which certainly works well. For starters, the actual, aesthetic appearance of this combo matches up well. The unusual, yet sleek shape of Dictator, though subjective creates controversy, it does suit the futuristic appearance of Ricochet, meaning that this is a favorite in terms of appearance for some. In addition, the very nature of Ricochet as a weapon is rather bolstered by Dictator's build. Ricochet is all about angles; after all, its special feature enables it to bounce its projectiles off the various props and obstacles in maps. The fact that the turret is raised enables a user of this combination to take advantage of the higher level of the turret in order to fire projectiles upwards/downwards toward opponents on different levels of a map. In addition to this, the hull is large enough to handle the weapon's recoil with ease. Overall, this combination is certainly one of the most effective ones you'll see on a battlefield, particularly at higher modifications. Overall effectiveness: 8/10 Dictator/Shaft. Not bad at all, but Dictator doesn't offer this weapon anything special. Admittedly, this isn't a bad combination at all. Dictator has a decent amount of speed for getting from one sniping position to another, and its health is considerable enough to withstand enemy sniper fire for quite some time. However, Dictator's shape could be seen as rather awkward for this weapon. That the turret is raised and parts of the hull jut out, it isn't very good for staying camouflaged under foliage. On the other hand, Viking is nice and low with a stable centre of gravity These are great characteristics for Shaft, which Dictator unfortunately lacks. Nevertheless, Dictator would still enable a Shaft user to play fairly effectively. It just wouldn't add much to the weapon. The hull lacks speed, and its health is inferior to that of Titan or Mammoth. So in this situation, it is again awkwardly in-between the classifications of medium and heavy hulls. Overall, this isn't such a bad choice regardless, as it can be quite a good combination for moving between different positions in one's base. Overall effectiveness: 7/10 Overall rankings: Dictator/Firebird - 7/10 Dictator/Isida - 6/10 Dictator/Freeze - 7/10 Dictator/Twins - 6.5/10 Dictator/Ricochet - 8/10 Dictator/Smoky - 8/10 Dictator/Thunder - 8/10 Dictator/Railgun - 7.5/10 Dictator/Shaft - 7/10 So there you have it, my educated opinions on each of the combinations involving Dictator, from the perspective of the hull itself. This is clearly a hull which works better with some weapons than with others, due to its unique build and characteristics, though it can be very effective. Next up will be Titan, so make sure you look out for that article. Thanks for reading! Feel free to let me know your feedback below, or to share your own thoughts. It's all appreciated! See you in the battles!

I wrote this assuming that I was rating the combinations without being used with supplies, anyway. Though at the time of writing, Smart Cooldowns hadn't been released yet.

No, he's not :c

Thanks for pointing that out... Looks like it got past both myself and our proofreaders somehow, lol. Fixed.

's rank up! :) Congrats! ~~> Album GIF: ~VIDEO~

I thought this was very nicely written and I was particularly impressed by the writing style utilised, even though I didn't agree with all of the points MD raised here. As a result, I think I'll point out that I'm particularly impressed with the feedback this article has received, surely amongst the most detailed feedback a newspaper article has been given by readers. Just goes to show there are some discerning readers out there, and I'm waiting to read MD's response :P

Thank you all for the feedback! As per what I've seen through my own assessments, Hunter/Smoky is significantly more effective than Viking/Smoky. I agree that Viking/Smoky could have got away with a 7.5, but I don't think that'd do justice to the deserved rating I gave to the weapon when used with Hunter.

Glad to hear this article was helpful in terms of providing new information. Thanks for the feedback!