I started burning through my drug bank recently and: Lovin' every second of it. Don't get me wrong, drugs are the most game-ruining, un-fun feature Tanki currently has, but it is good to be on the other side of the gun for once.

I suppose I can do another one, but not without help, I'll need submissions, anyone can submit, just PM me your article. Even made a new logo for it.

Happy birthday to you blacksunshine, may your rays of darkness never fade, wait, how would that even be possible?

You are right, there is too much currently, I mean, half the off topic section is now nothing but "articles", which I think is kind of funny to be honest, especially since the actual reporters seem to be getting sick of it too.

There's that possibility, but I'd need writers.

I love that the TWG and the reporters seem to be at each others throats right now, I even have literal popcorn over here, this is great! Anyone care for some popcorn?

Good idea, I'll fix it when I get done munching on these jellybeans. Edit: I dun did it!

So I decided to write my own paper, not doing it again, takes too long, and I didn't even do much. In order to not flood the off-topic section like the TWG, I put it all in one big image. I can't believe I wasted half my Saturday on this rubbish. Even got a few typos in there, oh well, I wasn't going to waste anymore time on that than I had to. EDIT: Thanks to all you, I changed my mind on there never being a new one, setting the release date for the next one to Feb 28, which would make this a monthly thing. I'm not having a formal writing group, instead, anyone may write for The Shark. I will choose a number of the best, most ridiculous articles for each issue, every month, until The Shark is no more. Each writer will be credited. Simply PM me your articles to submit. I have written a simple-ish guide to writing for The Shark: http://i.imgur.com/Q6qnHmS.png

You weren't supposed to actually follow the writing tips I put it the other article, lolz.

That's because Skype is evil.

Look at that huge list of people I don't know.

Mine was the best, there were no druggers, no mults, no wallet warriors, no flag blockers. I didn't play today.

Tiger Woods is my favorite cricketer, he has good aim.

Yay! Thank ye!

I eat nothing but chocolate all day long. I'm about the size of a small moon. PS: I'm actually skinnier than your average stick.

I really don't care about the crystals, it's the fun of entering the contests that I enjoy most. It's been awhile since the actual newspaper has run any good art contests, I would assume due to the sheer number of people that plagiarize just for the crystals. Not having a crystal prize would negate that.

When are y'all gunna run some art contests?

I love crickets! They are good food for a variety of domesticated reptile species.

But chocolate is like awesomeness that has been converted directly into food. Dark chocolate on the other hand, that stuff is awful.

Now I'm even more confused. Are you allergic to it?

Saying you like peanut butter over Nutella is like saying you enjoy eating dried cockroaches over fine, Swiss chocolates. I guess if that's your opinion, you may have it, but I will never understand you.

Clearly you have issues my friend. Nutella is a magic potion that instantly turns any bread into chocolate cake, why would you like peanut butter over this magic?

Not only that, but typing in a full players nickname, for the 2% chance that the report will actually be sent, and then a .05% chance that a mod will show up, and a .00004% chance that he'll actually get banned, during the middle of a battle, is extremely cumbersome, to say the very least.

This is literally the off-topic thread of the off topic section. How delightfully off topic. PS: @Angels ^ You played that? I was all prepared to say something nasty, but after listening to it, that's actually quite nice.