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Nice vid, but you forgot to credit me for telling you guys to go away 100 times in the Skype chat and not showing up or showing any sign of moral support.

August 8th marked the beginning of the Matchmaking System test, which, as you probably noticed, took place on the main servers. Now that the test is over, we're going to jump right into how it all went and review everything from beginning to end. ________________________________________________________________________________________ The Matchmaking System (MMS) is currently in the testing phase and has been formally introduced to the general population of tankers. Up to this point, regular battles have been dull, with only a few going around. Most were insipid, and very few were full. Occasionally you'd find a good regular battle, but the norm for them was dull semi-full battles. This system aims to change that by introducing a whole new interface. The general lobby area is built to organize players into pools of potential opponents/teammates and place them in battles they're looking to play, and fill those battles up quickly. There was an open testing on the main servers a few days ago, which lasted two days; Tuesday and Wednesday. The test was done on the main servers to see how the system worked under a real load, not like the one on the test servers. Main server tests also provide applicable data to all ranks rather than just Marshals. The test was thoroughly analyzed by players and feedback came rushing the developers' way. We're going to now review the Matchmaking System, the whole test, and of course, the feedback. ________________________________________________________________________________________ The Matchmaking System and its Function: A Matchmaking System is a system which processes incoming data of connecting players together for online play sessions. Playlists are automatically-managed streams of online play sessions that players can join and leave at will. A set of predefined rules is used to determine the configuration of each session without the need for human input. Games will normally offer a choice of themed playlists (e.g. teams or solo) to suit different tastes or moods. Since playlists are handled by servers controlled by the game's developer it is possible for them to be changed over time. When a player selects a playlist they join a pool of other people who have made the same choice. The playlist server then either connects them to an existing session or creates a new one. Parties/Groups of players who are treated as a single entity by matchmaking systems. A party can skip from session to session without its players becoming separated from each other. The concept is particularly well-suited to playlists, which can automatically handle the logistics of finding or creating play sessions with enough room for the whole group. [Credits: Wikipedia] In Tanki Online, the Matchmaking System is almost the same as the general concept of it. Only a few changes separate it from most games; some offer a choice of map. In Call of Duty, for example, the bottom left or right area of the screen features a small pop-up interface that will ask you to vote for three choices - Map A, Map B or Random Map. The option which gets the most votes is chosen for the next battle/game. However, as of now, Tanki Online's Matchmaking doesn't work like that - it takes you to a random map after joining players together based on their skill, rank and even equipment levels. Here's how to join a battle using the match-making system in Tanki Online: 1. Upon loading the game, you'll automatically be loaded into the Matchmaking System - meaning that all of its interface and button will be in front of you. You just have to click on a couple of buttons and you're in! 2. Next, you'll see six different buttons on your screen. These go by the names of Quick Play, DM, TDM, CTF, CP and Battle List. Quick Play: Takes you to a random team battle, which can be TDM, CTF or CP. DM: Takes you to a DM battle. Note that this button gets disabled when you make/join a group. TDM: Takes you to a TDM battle. CTF: Takes you to a CTF battle. CP: Takes you to a CP battle. Battle List: Switches to the original system that lists battles in a specific server. It also gives you the option of creating your own battle. The server buttons are located here, right next to the 'Back' button; which takes you back into the Matchmaking System. 3. Select any mode you want to play and then click the 'Play' button associated with that mode. 4. Next, a pop-up will appear on your screen. It shows how many players are in queue to get into a battle for that mode, average waiting time till a battle opens and the time you've waited since clicking on the 'Play' button. 5. Finally, you'll be taken into a brand new battle or one that has already started. You'll need lots of skills (and sometimes luck) to win! Advantages and Disadvantages: Advantages Battles fill up instantly after a player leaves - so there will be no more 4v5s or 6v7s from now on. This means that if someone leaves the battle or "runs" in other words, the Matchmaking System will immediately fill the battle with another appropriate player. The match making distributes it's battles over all servers, so the load on one server should not be any heavier than another. If all the players joined without a group or with a group with similar ranks (for example, Legend-Commander), the rank ranges and differences in the actual battle are perfect and minimal respectively. Groups can carry on to different battles without players having to disband or leave. Disadvantages You can't choose the map you want to play in. However - and read this slowly - no successful/popular game has ever existed where it's matchmaking allowed you to fully choose the map you want (CoD, Battlefield, Battlegrounds and such MMO games allow you to choose between three choices: Map A, Map B or Random Map). This is because the developers want to switch things up and bring people back to playing different or unpopular maps; such as Tribute, Solikamsk or Osa. Matchmaking System doesn't pick player's based their in-game efficiency, which can be a big problem sometimes. Examples are Legends with M1/M2 equipment, high-ranks which can't turn their turrets and so on (people who generally have lower efficiencies). However, the developers mentioned that this is subject to change, and efficiencies will be considered in the future. The Test and its Rush of Feedback: The test of the Matchmaking System on the main servers began on August 8th, and carried through until August 10th. There was constantly feedback coming the developers' way. Many people were complaining about particular problems, some in more detail than others. Here's a few of the things people pointed out about the MMS during it's testing. Missions Missions definitely became more difficult with the Matchmaking system. However, to what extent? Well, now it's impossible to just jump into a battle with one player and collect 7 Speed Boosts, which is a good thing. Missions weren't made to be (so-called) "abused" like that. The game wants you to complete all missions honestly, and this system helps that view. Nonetheless, people did have issues with the system as it has made it a lot harder, even for the honest players, to complete missions. Allow me to explain. If a tanker is fixed to one combo, for example, Shaft and Mammoth, he wants to complete his "Destroy enemies" mission in a large map, because that's where his combo belongs. This system takes away the privilege he used to have, which was to choose which map he wanted to play on. Another issue that arose from the lack of choice was that you don't know where you're going, naturally, so you don't really know what to equip. Yes, you can change in the battle once you get there, but it's nice to jump right into battles and play with confidence from your very first shot. A side issue related to missions was the new location of the 'Missions' button. With this new design, you can no longer check your mission progress from battles. People have suggested to move it back to it's original spot. However, the developers mentioned in a past V-LOG that they made this change so people won't leave the battle as soon as they're done their mission. They said it wasn't the friendliest solution to the problem, but it was the most efficient one. Rank Brackets So, you noticed something strange in the rank brackets? Well, it was pretty hard to miss. In some battles (not every, but in some) Recruits () ended up with Legends (), which, in case you didn't know, is quite a problem. Many were pointing this out and practically panicking over this tremendous dilemma. However, I've actually seen a few people pointing out that they actually liked the system because of the odd rank brackets. I saw a Warrant Officer say he liked to play with M3s because it "inspired him to play better." That was, undoubtedly, the minority, though. The rank brackets seem to have been a mistake, and I don't think the developers intended on matching Recruits with Legends, and I highly doubt this will be an issue in the final release of the system. There was a test for a reason. Forced battle exit An issue not many had, but it has been pointed out by a good number of players, and that is forced battle exit. After a battle is done everyone automatically gets kicked from the battle. Players are asking what the point of that is. Why can't we just stay in the battle for another round? As players explained, the Matchmaking system was made to keep battles full, so what does that have to do with us leaving a battle when it's over? If players want to stay, and others leave, the MMS could just send new players in a short amount of time anyways. It's more of an idea than a complaint, and it's a good idea in my opinion. Friends Friends are a beautiful system in the game. People began complaining that it's become much harder to play with friends in Matchmaking battles. Yes, you have the 'Group' feature, but that only allows four other players. Besides that, in regular (non-MM) battles, there are a lot more ways to play with friends. Friends could randomly join if they feel like it, and in MMS battles they cannot. You could invite friends if you feel you want to, and in MMS battles you cannot. You can have more than four friends in a battle at a time, and in the MMS you can, but it could only happen by chance. To those people I say "so what?" We've still got the regular battle list, where you can create, invite, join, and arrange as much as you like. You don't have to use the Matchamaking System and only that. Simply play in the MMS battle to complete your mission(s) and then, if you feel you want to play with a team full of your friends, create a battle in the battle list. I personally don't play with friends every battle of the day, in fact, I'd say most of my battles are played without friends. — So, has the test proven good or bad? I've seen many people saying it's good, and many saying it's bad. On the forum there's quite a few people saying they dislike it, but that shouldn't take away from the people who do like it. Many of my friends seem to like it, a few don't. @Claudiu, a Tanki YouTuber with around 44 500 subscribers, put out a video of him playing with it with his friend. He likes the update. He said it's expanded the variety of map he plays on, adding that before it was only Sandbox, Polygon and Silence. He went on to comment on how there never used to be full regular battles, and this fixed that. I agree with Claudiu, and with others who have similar views. These positives are definitely outweighing the negatives. It's all in how you choose to look at it. I've been using the system a lot during the testing, and all I can actually complain about is the lag, which is only because it's a new change to the servers. The Osa map, in particular, seemed to be having major lags on the first testing day, but it was gone on the second. Many players were calling for redesigning. Players said that the battle list should be the default option, instead of the Matchmaking system. I personally just want them to leave the window where you left off, like it is with the 'Communicator' panel. If you left off in the Matchmaking window, that's where you should go the next time you enter, and if you were viewing the Battle list, that's where you should go. I saw a few people say that the new design was taking up too much space, and they should make the slots smaller and more compact. Some people with smaller monitors are having trouble fitting it all on the screen, and have to scroll to get to the bottom, which isn't the biggest problem ever; but if it could be bypassed, why not? Either way, I'm assuming that there will be some sort of design changes when the official version is launched. Nonetheless, I want to know your takeaway from this. What to you think about the MM system? How can it be improved, or is it perfect the way it is? Do you agree with my opinions above or not, and if not, why? Leave your comments below! Interview with EN Community Players: We sat down with some people from the community and had a mini-interview with them. Here's what they had to say. What are your thoughts on the Matchmaking System test? Has it proven itself good or bad? Do you like the idea of a matchmaking system? @Hate Personally the match making system wasn't something I honestly liked or hated but more of like normal to me. There are some things I liked about the MMS as well as some other things I didn't like at all. Let me start with the things I liked about the MMS. One of the things I liked was the 'Groups' feature, where you were able to invite a group of people and join a battle together at the same time without having to worry about anything such as battles being full or leaving one of your friends behind, and so on. That part was really wonderful and I did enjoy and like the fact that they implemented such a thing. Now the downside is that, first of all, the waiting time is quite annoying and bad and I seen some players waiting quite a lot of time, if they can fix this and get around it in one way or another, I think it would be useful. @lukey0 The Matchmaking System has a pretty good concept idea behind it, but with what was released on the main servers I don't know how many players will think the same way. Though the battle creation speeds and rank brackets will need to be improved, overall it was a decent test and I quite liked it. It's something that should fit nicely into Tanki when its given the time. Although I feel the initial test felt a bit incomplete. I know they wanted to test the 'load' of the Matchmaking but placing huge rank brackets on battles was not the right solution, it just led to frustrated players and those that were unsure about it and made them hate it. Also the battle 'creation' took a bit longer than expected so I hope that speed up when its released. @Ninja When I logged in on the day of the test I was kinda apprehensive about it; me and a bunch of friends played about 10 or so battles using the 'Groups' feature and we all mostly enjoyed it despite the quirks and bugs. A few hours later I started trying it on my own and it was really a hit or miss since my favourite and best combo is Viking and Railgun which obviously is only suitable for certain maps. I found that for playing with friends the groups system worked pretty well and DMs seemed great too, aside from that playing solo in team battles was pretty awful, I'd end up in horribly unbalanced teams in maps which I wasn't used to or didn't like. I think matchmaking is a badly implemented great concept, if that makes sense. @RIDDLER_8 I like the Matchmaking System very much. The battles are too short though. They should last at least 15 minutes long. The matchmaking system has a few crash bugs that must be fixed. There are still improvements to add to the matchmaking system. That is to add more features to custom battles. Missions should be completed in custom battles as well. @splitterpoint The test came out worse than I expected. Not being able to choose your favorite map is the biggest downside. I like certain maps for specific reasons. According to what Hazel said in the V-LOG (as far as I understand) they're going to force everyone through the same boring map layout by making every map equally profitable. You can't change dimensions... we have long and short range weapons. Either way, you'll end up with some sort of compromise which is completely unnecessary and annoying for a specific group of players. And no one is going to choose the battle list because that mission cycle keeps place on the matchmaking system and that's where the easy crystals can be earned. And most of the players are too cheap to spend 5K on a PRO battle pass. No wonder why; I haven't seen so few PRO battles available since I started playing this game. There was nothing wrong with the battle list, these missions are the core problem because the system was getting abused by players in the private PRO battles. They obviously had to do something about it so the game ended up with a system where you can't do missions in PRO battles anymore. I myself believe this was the only solution as well so I don't blame them for doing it. So now we have a mission cycle taking place in normal battles, and the hard-core tankers who prefer full game customization in the PRO battles. Two separate groups. So now I get to the fact why there is barely a variety of PRO battles these days. How I see it, is that the majority of the community in this game prefers a simplified interface. Those are the people who play around one hour a day and don't care too much about certain equipment, strategy etc. — Plain simple killing tanks. And I get that. For the same reasons I prefer Tanki Online over, let's say, World of Tanks. But now they're taking this simplification to the next level. I don't like how we've gotten less freedom of customization throughout the years of development. Not so much for the tanks, because we've more items to choose from than ever but more about creating the battles. There's a long way to go before the Matchmaking System becomes permanent so there's still a lot of things that can change throughout development. You can't really judge the system from one very rough version of it but you can't deny that the game will be less customizable in the future when it comes to creating battles. Right now PRO battles suffer from the mission cycle in normal battles and I don't think this will get better when matchmaking becomes permanent. What are some ideas you may have that can help improve the Matchmaking system in any way? @Hate There are a few things that came in to mind that ''might'' be useful for the MMS and even perhaps ''improve'' it. One of the things is that, if they could add a small chat tab when you invite a group of your friends, that would be useful as you will be able to chat with the small group of friends you invited before the battle(s) start or even after you guys finish a battle. Since TO doesn't support communicating using voice yet, it would help a lot such as just asking random questions or even talking about the upcoming battles like asking each other which mode to choose, who is gonna attack, defend, and so on. Now the only option to actually communicate is either using the normal chat lobby or even some other third-party applications such as Skye or Discord. Another thing I would suggest would probably be to allow players to customize which battles they go into before they choose one of the game modes, and what I mean by that is, to allow the group leader to choose a map for him/herself before choosing CTF (or any game mode). So first he/she will choose Polygon and then press or choose which game mode he/she wants to play and the system will look for that specific map he and his friends have chosen and if the system doesn't find a suitable battle, it will tell you and you can change it to ''random'' and it will find a random map for you, but first a little bit of freedom won't hurt in my opinion. This is all I can say about the MMS, other than this, I think it would be an amazing system if they fix and adjust some of the things here and there. :) @lukey0 I'd say the best thing would be to increase the battle timer back up to 15 minutes; it's just a good overall time. 10 minutes just feels too short to have any impact on the battle. It's kinda over before it begun in a way if you know what I mean. Another thing would be to let players check their mission progress during the battle, but I have a feeling that this will be fixed anyway. :lol: Overall I enjoyed the first test of the Matchmaking System, it was interesting and the core idea of it worked pretty well, it'll just take some time to become used to. @Ninja Obvious things like bugs aside I think we need two things; a better interface and a choice on maps. 1) The current interface has a lot of wasted space thus needs scrolling on smaller screens like my laptop; it feels extremely unnecessary and could easily be solved if they used a squared side-by-side design as they have in Tanki X. The interface is also quite ugly and really leaves much to be desired in terms of making you feel like you wanna play. Logging into the game and seeing a green text wall isn't a nice experience. 2) We really need a multi-tier voting system for maps, there are a lot of maps in TO and just voting for one of 70+ from a list wouldn't work at all. Every player should be shown a random selection of lets say 4 maps, the player would then choose a map and the Matchmaking System will tally up the votes and whichever get the most becomes the map, however if there is no clear winner the players are shown a second selection of all the most voted maps until a winner is found and the battle begins. We also need a similar system for battle length where players can (if they wish) type in a time length and the system averages out all the times and makes a length (hopefully) suitable for everyone. @RIDDLER_8 My suggestion is to add more battle modes in the matchmaking system and to add many more features in custom battles. For example, give players the ability to increase the chances of gold box drop rates in custom battles. @splitterpoint Filters! We have tons of them that are implemented in the battle list. I think the matchmaking system being completely random really benefits from implementing all sorts of filters for game mode, turrets, hulls, protection and maps. Making the filters work in the complicated calculations that the Matchmaking System makes is another thing though... I think the battle list can be completely removed if the game gave players customization in the form of filters. You can even set thresholds for specific filters like lets say map dimensions ranging between two sizes. The system chooses from all maps ranging from threshold 1 to 2. There's a lot of stuff possible. But then again the problem with abusing the missions arises so I believe the filters need limitations... again the core problem being the missions. This is where filter thresholds become interesting; though this time the decision is (maybe unfortunately) not up the the players. Our Opinions on the Matchmaking System: @Yisroel.Rabin I've got to say, I honestly love the idea of a matchmaking system. It makes things so much easier. For example, missions. Despite what people say, it was a lot easier for me to complete missions. Without the system, it's extremely difficult to find a fun, diverse battle, and with the matchmaking system, you find quite a few. Yes, quite a few of battles were also unbalanced, but that's because of issues that will surely be tweaked, such as the rank brackets. It's simply a better alternative to looking for a battle, even if it takes out the choice of map. I've played more good (regular) battles during the test than I have in the past month. It's simply wonderful. Yes, the lack of choice can be annoying sometimes, but if we're being honest it isn't that bad. I never felt the need to leave a battle I got sent to because I didn't like the map, or couldn't play on it. The only reason I left battles were due to lag, and the unbalanced rank brackets, which should both be fixed. On the other hand, it would be nice to implement a system where you could choose the map. I'd change the idea @Ninja gave above to something a bit quicker. For example, maybe you can choose a map, and the matchmaking system will pair you with other people within the same rank brackets that chose the same map. However, that can also be time consuming, being there aren't always going to be *insert rank here*s who choose *insert map here* at the same exact time. So Ninja's idea is a good suggestion. Playing with friends isn't really that hard with the Matchmaking System, at least not as hard as players make it seem. You can easily create a group of up to four friends. If you want to play with more, simply play in the Battle list. I never usually had more than four friends in one battle at the same time anyways. There are other minor things that I would fix, such as the interface (i.e. tweak it to be able to view Mission progress anywhere, switch servers from anywhere, make everything more compact and easy to see, make the last viewed panel the panel you see the next time you log on or exit a battle) and a few other things such as removing the forced exit after battles, and bringing MM maps to the Battle list as second versions of the map (e.x. Highland I and II). But other than that, I truly love the Matchmaking system and the way it's heading. Of course, if you disagree with me, go cri feel free to state why bellow in a detailed post, I'm really interested in having a humane discussion about it. @Hexed Well, I am not going to type a text-wall or anything, because my take on this comprises of only a few points: First of all, the translations are horrible and unprofessional. There are many grammar mistakes and even typos in the translations. For example, 'Average waiting time' is spelled as 'Avarage waiting time'; 'Team Deathmatch' is spelled as 'Team Deatchmath'. Even the notifications have not been correctly translated - it should be '<Player Name> is joining the group at your invitation' instead of '<Player Name> joins the group'. I don't know if it is just me or many people, but I find the Matchmaking System's interface really boring. However, we do know that HTML 5 spices things up (just the loading bar as we saw earlier) and changes most older interfaces into more elegant, modern ones. I guess we'll have to wait and see then! Map choice selection interface should be implemented within the Matchmaking System, but not one which fully allows you to choose your maps. I'm talking about the one which most game's have - the Map A, Map B and Random Map one. The Daily Missions button should be put back where it was or implemented within the Matchmaking System's interface. This is because many of us forget what missions we had to do in the heat of the battle; and what's more is that many people also like to check the progress of their mission while they're doing it. Rank brackets should definitely be tightened. I know this was a server load test and all, but people are really going to start hating if a WO2 has the ability to play with a Legend. Average waiting times for a battle shouldn't cross more than 1m 30s. This is also the average waiting time of most game's with matchmaking systems. However, please do note that this depends entirely on the number of players waiting in queue. If there are many, it will take a longer time to get into a battle; and the opposite. Concluding remarks? Well, I absolutely love that Tanki Online upgraded itself like other MMOs. This system has eliminated multing - the biggest problem ever faced by players; and when paired together with the Repair Kit and Overdrive updates, it makes battles more strategic, hard to play and also eliminated the entire imbalance of supplies' users and non-supplies' users. It's fantastic! ________________________________________________________________________________________ That concludes this special article. Tell us your opinions on anything mentioned here, or even something we left out. Whether it be about the system, the feedback it's gotten, the interview, we'd like to know your takeaway on it all. Leave your comments down bellow!

Greetings, readers! Here at the Tanki Online Newspaper, we are passionate about providing you with information on all the latest updates, turrets, hulls, maps, contests or just about anything related to the community or game; and you can trust us to cover it all. We've got some pretty hot new topics to cover this month, so let's dive right into it! Tanker claims he was attacked by aliens in Barda By @Yisroel.Rabin Strange news coming out Barda last Wednesday night. A tanker was found seemingly dead by a couple of elementary tankers, driving home from a late night shooting practice (those noobs got to learn to shoot someway or another). They saw a dead tank, but it wasn't re-spawning, so they went to check it out. The engine was still running, so the tank must've been unconscious (I don't really understand how that works myself, but whatever). The young tankers called Medical Unit of Liberal Tanki (M.U.L.T.), and almost instantly 5 M3 Hunters from the Medical Unit showed up, sirens blaring and everything. The tanker was brought to the hospital located in south Kunger, where he eventually gained consciousness. Upon awakening, news reporters from all different communities piled up at the door begging for a question or two to at to their newspaper. But I don't use doors. I use windows. I climbed into the tankers room through the windows, and greeted him like any tank should after abruptly climbing through your window. After greeting the tanker and finishing the smalltalk, I got to the big question; who are you, and what happened? "Well, my name is RabinIsBae, and well, I'm not exactly sure. It all started when I was driving home. I work as a security guard at a local parkour stadium, and they were having some sort of rally, so I was there late. Upon driving home, the sky lit up. At first I thought it was lightning, but then I saw it clearly wasn't. A huge UFO appeared over my head. Before I knew it, the thing zapped me with some laser and I suddenly appeared inside the UFO. Standing in front of me was something that looked as scary and powerful as an Isida M4 after the update. I couldn't move, I was stuck out of fear. The thing introduced itself as a being from a place called Gallery. He said he's been trapped there for over two years, and only yet managed to escape the dark realm of Gallery. He seemed very mad about being trapped in a deserted realm with no one but a noob minion army to bring him cake every five minutes. He said as revenge for this wrongdoing, he'll be sending dark viruses in drop boxes. After that, my mind is blank. I think I remember him zapping me with a dark goop-gun, which made my memory go weary and made me lose consciousness. I guess after that he dropped me in Barda." Me, being the complete gentleman I am, thanked RabinIsBae (for the information AND choosing such a fabulous nickname), bribed him to tell anyone else who comes a false story about how he lost consciousness after taking too many Double Damages in a hope to become 100 times stronger, and left straight through the window I came through. But in summary, an alien kidnapped a tanker to express his feelings and to let him know not to pick up bonus boxes anymore. Developers are looking into any potential viruses, and will do their best (and by that, I mean they will secretly watch Anime on a separate tab and pound Gatorade) to block any of those viruses. Is president of the Tanki Forum, Yisroel.Rabin, and his MTGA movement responsible for the sudden departure of Cedric Debono? By @Destrod Tanki conspiracy theorists have jumped upon an inevitable yet surprising theory: Did the emergence of the new TO Forum President cause Cedric Debono to go Cedric Debyebye? If we pile together the evidence, nothing can be achieved, because we don't have any evidence if someone is determined enough, he/she can relate anything to anything, without being questioned. Yisroel's appearance however, has a great deal of irony involved, since the CM had vowed to remove the cursed rituals of multhood from the community. Perhaps a carefully thought out strategy could save the forum president from imminent doom? Let us go through the condition of multhood: 'I shall dub thee with the honorary status of Lord Mult, but thou must comply to thine condition. Thou art an honorary mult if thee works as a Reporter, if thou art not a reporter, walk back to yonder doorway.' Yisroel has worked for the Reporter team since the beginning of Issue 59 time, therefore, there is no doubt that he is indeed an honorary mult. But can he put his CM at risk to save his own skin? Of course he can, but we will just say that he can't, because modesty forbids. It is not only his job at risk here, its all of ours too, since we comply to the holy condition of multhood. If Cedric's plan had been implemented, we would have become freed from this curse lost our jobs. The matter still remains a mystery, although the press still believe Yisroel to be the mastermind, after a very nervous interview held at the forum president's house: 'What do you have to say about these accusations?' 'Please I have children - don't let them take me to jail.' 'Calm down sir, we are not taking you to ja- So you confess?' 'Oh would you look at the time, my cake is almost done, you'll have to excuse me sir, goodbye.' And he disappeared, probably to hide in a room the press doesn't know about. The thing that confused the investigators, is that there was not a trace of a baking oven in his apartment. Most believe that he is the culprit, some say that he was talking about pancakes which do not require an oven. And now his fate rests on the community. The absence of the CM could be entirely a co-incidence, or is it? Strips of Godmode_ON's paint found in the wilderness and examined thoroughly By @Yisroel.Rabin While on a camping trip late last week with my cardboard wife and the rest of my cardboard family, I stumbled upon a rather strange peice of material. In the bushes, I found scraps of what couldn't have been anything else other than @Godmode_ON's paint, Devil. It was glowing oddly, and at first I doubted myself, and thought it was probably some kid trying to play a prank on us, so I shrugged it away. However, my cardboard wife was all like "Honey, you can write about this for the newspaper, the most reliable news source in Tanki Online!" I really didn't want to, because I hate writing (I don't even know why I'm a Reporter), but like one does when his wife tells him to do something, I complied. So here I am, telling you how my camping trip went, like this is some sort of blog to post your daily life on. Anyways, we found it at exactly 10:43 PM (I was looking at my watch so I can estimate in how long I'd be able to watch Tanki Tunes). The Sun was down by then, and I'm assuming that's why it was dark (I didn't pay attention much in school), but the scraps had a dim glow to it. Using my Sherlock Holmes skills (which I learned from the movies, not the books) I assumed that the fragments were scratched off by the surrounding trees, and the way they were scattered showed he was in a hurry to get away. But from what (that's usually where I can't think of any more Sherlock Holmes logic)? Here's an image of what it looked like. I was afraid to touch it, but I wasn't going to let my wife know that, so I did. It felt rather weird, I guess. Almost electronic. I felt like I was holding a punch of pixels. I reporter this discovery to the National Unit of Abnormal Objects, and they identified it to be dropped there from about 8 hours before I found it. They suggested not to go looking for him, and when I asked why they got straight to the point and said I was a weakling who has no chance of beating him. Instead, they let me observe them observe the paint scraps under microscopes, as long as I stood at least three meters away. They said I was unsanitary, which makes sense I guess. Right before I was about to fall asleep watching this up-stuck know-it-all scientists, one called me over and told me to look into the microscope... I am both inspired and astonished at what I saw. A troll face, with an equally rated caption imprinted onto Godmode_ON's paint. The government has undergone immediate deliberation over this strange discovery. The area where my cardboard family and I found the scraps is being investigated and searched, the homes which claimed to have heard weird sounds hinting to Godmode_ON's presents have been evacuated and fenced, and the milkshake I just finished needs a refill. *Yisroel suddenly disappears* How developers managed to steal the sky for the 'Parkour Survival' contest By @Yisroel.Rabin As you've probably already seen, there's a new 'Sky' paint roaming around. It's a paint given to the winners of the 'Parkour Survival' contest. But there's something special most people haven't noticed about it... It's the sky. It was no easy task creating the paint. Tankers pointed out that a portion of Rio's sky was missing, which lead to a deep investigation. It's been confirmed that over one server update, Tanki managed to get climbers to climb to the sky using a long ladder, cut out a large chunk of the sky, and smuggle it to Perm, where a private factory would cut the stolen sky to tank sized portions, creating the 'Sky' paint. Photo of Rio's skyline with the missing portion of the sky Scientist speculate that leaving the sky unpatched like that can eventually lead to mass being sucked out into space, potentially sucking the entire Tankiverse inside out. Damage like that can cost Tanki billions to fix. Even though images, pure evidence, of the kidnapping of the sky have been leaked, Tanki officials still haven't given in, and continue to claim it had nothing to do with them. Evidence showing developers climbing to the sky with a giant ladder to bring the sky down Nives, the community manager, was quoted telling an AWC reporter "We didn't take the sky, the sky must've fallen into the ocean, or it might've been taken by hackers. Hacks have been getting stronger recently..." Tanker's are becoming frustrated over the responses of the officials. #BringBackTheSky rallies are being held in the streets daily. We're still waiting to see how things unfold here. We'll keep you updated! New 'Gotham' map coming to the game in the near future By @Yisroel.Rabin A few months ago, we recruited Batman in the Reporter team. Since then he's grown onto greater things, and has now left the team to become a professional developer for Tanki Online. He's taken on the task of adding an all-new original map the the game — the 'Gotham' map. From what I've seen from it, it looks just like it does in the comics and movies. A high functioning city with many towers, and a huge skyscraper in the middle with the Wayne Enterprises logo on it (I guess that's the new McDonalds). The map comes in Summer, Winter, and an all new Trash mode, where basically the map looks like it does at the end of every Batman movie. There's even a huge nuclear bomb, which I assume is how every match in the map ends. Here's what Batman himself has to say about his new creation. [The following statements are taken from V-LOG Episode 148] "Hey guys, I'm Batman! — And I'm making an all-new and original map; Gotham! It's great, almost as great as me. It's a map based Gotham city, of course, and it's the most original map to hit Tanki yet. I've invented entirely new props, because the current dull ones just won't do for my awesome new map, and I even added the giant statue of me in the centre of Gotham, with the words "R.I.P. Semyon Kirov" engraved onto a plank platinum. It's actually pretty cool, there's also going to be a new supply called 'Bat Box'. It's basically going to give you all the powers I have for a minute or so. So that means one minute of flying, shooting crazy gadgets from all around your tank, having quadruple armour, and simply obtaining maximum coolness. Unfortunately, my fellow developers said that such a concept would be far to overpowered for a regular supply, so it's going to be rare. Like a gold box, but a bit more common. Either way, it's going to be awesome, and I have a lot more cool stuff coming your way, so stay tuned for that! Bye, gotta go save Gotham, again." Well, I guess that covers everything on this topic. Make sure to check that Gotham map out when it comes out, and as always, thanks for reading. ADVERT: Get PaintGloss! By @Yisroel.Rabin Have you noticed your paintjob getting rusty from all that XP? Does it bother you? No? Well it should! Look your finest with PaintGloss, the all new moisture for your paint to keep it as shiny and crystal clear as when you first purchased it! PaintGloss helps prevent cracks, rust, dust, and just about every negative effect your paint can obtain without our product! We stuff a whole bunch of random chemical compounds in this stuff we can guarantee you've never heard of, to help protect your paint from any kind of damage. All for the cheap price of $49.99!* What are you waiting for, buy yours today at your local Tanker's Drug Mart! *Prices vary on bottle size, starting from 45ml bottle. Foolish forum moderator accidentally bans new community manager By @Yisroel.Rabin As much as it's being hushed up, it happened. A lazy tired absent minded forum moderator by the name of Fam accidentally banned recently recruited community manager . Questions have arisen as to why Fam committed such a undoubtedly stupid act, but then again, being this is all a private matter, answers haven't really surfaced. It seems Fam simply did it out of curiosity; to see what would happen if he tried to ban the CM. Well, the results have been displayed, quite clearly. It took quite some time to get the community manager unbanned, which resulted in the lack of communication between the community manager and the rest of the community. The moderator was later confronted by an angry community manager with a rifle. Fam has suddenly disappeared and hasn't yet being found. Some speculate there could be a relation between the two incidents. New community manager ‘stabs’ through the community By @Destrod After being humiliated with a somewhat prestigious award, Cedric took the initiative and handed power over to pointy, sharp knives without the ‘k’. The new CM has vowed to make Tanki great again, as they all do and never succeed. A handsome looking Russian bloke who, unlike the power abusive Cedric, decided to work his way through the rank ladder by use of his own time and skill. The man is now a sergeant; a meager rank but it doesn’t matter, he’s the CM. The helper team rejoices as the deadly Cedric-Kirov duo of mass destruction is now sitting in AlternativaPlatform. What does the community think of him? A psychopathic evil dictator, or a knight in shining denim? "e kent spel nives korectly" ~ Night Sisters "I love every CM so I love nives!" ~ Flexoo "ok" ~ Yisroel.Rabin Ingenious username strikes the community with a positive feeling. After all, every other CM always has a name worthy of being put in a Russian wrestling federation. Yes, you can imagine their names being yelled out: "And now, hailing from the Tanki Office, weighing sixty-five donuts and a cheese cake, its seeeeeemyon kiiiiiirooooov" That is it for this edition of The Dictator. I would like to thank the right hemisphere of my brain for coming up with these falsified and irrelevant pieces of text, I couldn’t have done it without you. And now to end this properly structured and grammatically impeccable article, I offer a toast, to all those people out there, who still think admins drop gold boxes.’ If you want to read more from The Dictator, here are the news reports from previous months! The Dictator Issues - July 2014 - August 2014 - September 2014 - October 2014 - November 2014 - January 2015 - February 2015 - March 2015 - August 2015 - December 2015 - January 2016 - February 2017 - March 2017 - April 2017 - May 2017 - June 2017 - July 2017 - September 2017 The Dictator Specials - The Dictator Special | Origins of Nives

"y i get ban for saying tryth?"

I saw that, but cut it short just to make you look noob.

:lol: Hax.

This should be the next V-LOG.* It took me a while to find the perfect music. YouTube didn't have such amazing results for... [ U N D E R P A I D ] Exactly. :lol:

My one and only pic from the 5 seconds I participated in today's event before running from a particular spectator in the chat. :ph34r: Just had to get in that stream, y'know.

It's really hard to type when laughing so hard. :lol: I'm so proud of myself for this video. But I really owe it all to the admins, they've given me content.

Hey guys! Today a rather great event was held on the Tanki Online servers — The Admins VS Players event. The event was commentated by the lovely @Ben and @Nikk, who did a beautiful job. I came to the stream for the event, and stayed for them. There were so funny and made everything entertaining. But, we don't want to shower them with compliments too much, so let's get to the point. Admins are noobs. That should come as no surprise. But the amount of noobness they displayed today in the livestream was so horrendously hilarious, I just had to make a compilation of their best moments, as was requested by Ben and Nikk themselves. Enjoy! Then, here's a full index of a lot of the funny moments. It was hard to make a list of cropping on the best moments, because the whole thing was a best moment, but here.

Fail admin nuba.

Friday at 02:35 UTC+0 (yesterday at 10:35 PM our team :P).

1st one almost beat, 2nd one beat. If only I weren't online to take a pic and and break the record, the record could've been broken. :c

Dead.

Awesome XP / BP games with . Was many funs. #XPFun #EnglaeksPro #JokerDay #LennyFace #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) That moment the battle becomes less about winning, and more about having the better joke. :P And then there was a lot more Jake Paul jokes, but for some reason my computer crashed when trying to upload pics of maximum swag dab skills.

See, now take a moment to think, why did this action occur in humanity? True, around 25% of the time.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My Matchmaking battles. :rolleyes: My drugs. :V

If you don't know, why would you assume? :mellow: I didn't get your account banned. Apparently not. Of course I don't want anyone to quit, but sometimes I want to ask people to prove to me they can, because I always see people say they'll quit if "xxx" happens, and then they don't.