Waw, way to blame the night-sisters. :lol:

:lol: no way lol. Just had fun using my extremely pro slang vocabulary for a change. :ph34r:

Wait, Pho's interview was pretty good :huh:

Wait... now the woes of the world are my fault??? -.-

Like, stuff stuff. lol, g'night all.

Stuff. Stuff Mostly the same subjects as public schoolers cover, I personally enjoy history and also focus a lot of my efforts into learning Spanish. Math is meh. Writing is awesome. <3 Science is crazy interesting. Yup, that just about covers it.

Possibly true hhh.

Been busy of late. And um...there's been rather a bit of spam of late :ph34r: Let's just say that I saw what happened to Werty's topic, k :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:

:lol:

Well....if I could speak Russian..... :ph34r:

Greetings readers. Have you ever wondered if you were really 'pro' at Tanki? A member of that elusive masterclass? Well, speculate no longer, as I have formulated an interactive questionnaire so that the average tanker can conclusively determine whether or not they are truly pro. (Open spoiler to begin.) Disclaimer: Be warned that results may vary. The creator of this topic is in no way, shape, or form responsible for any dissatisfaction on the reader's part. Thank you.

Beauty in Tanki: Night's View Title credits go to Greyat. Ty nug. Alright, hold up. Before you start moaning and groaning about how le Night-Sisters just had to jump on the infernal bandwagon and subject you to yet another one of those pernicious beauty reviews, allow me a moment to explain myself. This review is different. It's not about the most beauteous turret/hull combination, nor is it a listing of my favorite paints. (Just for the record though, blue is best. :ph34r:) No, today I wish to discuss a particularly gorgeous element of Tanki that most of us simply take for granted. Namely, the skybox. *** The skybox...there is one encapsulating each and every map, and they can be quite stunning, if you bother to pay attention. So, dear reader, as you peruse the following, I encourage you to do just that; slow down and observe. Take your time, and catch the details. Are you ready? Go. #5. Rio Though I can't say that I'm a huge fan of the map itself, I've got absolutely nothing against Rio's skybox. White beach, calm seas, stony mountains... it's a perfect vacation spot and those mountains are every trailrunners dream. There also appears to be a house, or villa of some sort perched amongst the trees, which is a neat lil' detail. There isn't a huge variety of color, but overall, it's a fantastic view and one well worth leaving 'show skybox' checked for. #4. Aleksandrovsk/Barda It's the sky that really does it for me in this one; the moon and stars sprinkled out on a dusky, ever-deepening blue, the faintest glow of oncoming dawn gracing the horizon... the gently rolling, grassy bluffs could well go on forever, stretching out across the wide, wide earth. It's a scene that speaks of tremendous peace, tranquility, and yes, beauty. If this picture were to be expressed in music, I personally think that it might sound a lot like this... but hey, those are just my thoughts on the matter. #3. Cologne They say the devil is in the details... but to me, this is definitely where the beauty lies. Cologne has the most realistic skybox TO has to offer, and seems slightly photographic in quality. Surrounded by a vibrantly lush forest, the city itself is interesting, layered, and...deserted. It has a very intense feel, and raises more questions than answers. Why is the river dry? Why has this sprawling metropolis fallen, and to whom? It is absolutely a favorite, one of the very best parts about Cologne. #2. Madness This is what I imagine the Aurora Borealis would look like in space. The shimmering blue, the stars... in short, it's absolutely gorgeous. To me, at least, the Madness skybox is a reminder of the beauty and mystery that the final frontier holds. Space captures our imagination, intrigues our sense of exploration... a mere picture cannot do it justice, yet perhaps it is telling that this skybox is one of my - and many people's - favorites. #1. Highland/Desert And finally, we come to number one. The skybox that I believe to be the most beautiful, out of all. I can easily say that I chose this map for one reason... the colors. The heavens...are on fire. The desert and the sunlight intermingle on the horizon until one cannot be separated from the other. Blushing pinks, purples, blue, and gold weave through the rolling clouds, creating a scene not soon forgotten. It is beauty expressed in one of the unlikeliest of places, a war game. _____________________________________________________________________________________________ Well folks, that does it from my end. Hopefully you enjoyed taking a deeper look at the skyboxes I consider to be particularly beautiful. They certainly add a remarkable layer of depth to the game and TO simply wouldn't be the same without them.

I love sports (mainly running and I just started soccer). However, there's not a huge amount to say about running....you just, run. :P And plz, reading isn't a hobby. It's a way of life.

Reporter Dialogue: Slang Date: 3/25/16 Time: Unknown. A conversation recorded between two reporters, dug up from the moldering depths of Skype chat and processed for the public to read. Proceed with caution. *** Night: ‘ey pho, wassup grl, howya been? Pho: Fine as a phoenix flight, thank you. Night: hhhh, coolio ma homie, I’m down with that. U r, like, a total pro, dawg. <3 Pho: Ummm...‘ma homie’?? ‘dawg’???!!?? Maybe - perhaps - possibly - that’s taking the slang a bit far, k. Night: Wut m8? ‘Cuz I r8 it 8/8. Dontchya know, slang is da bomb. As ive always said, if u cant hashtag somethin’ then whats the point? #English-is-for-nerds, #Why-bother, #Death-to-Punctuation Pho: Nighty?? What’s wrong???? Night: Yo, if gaming slang works for everyone else, it’s good enuff for me!!! Pho: (Sigh) Looks like Tanki chat has gotten the better of you, Night. It seems slang usage is contagious and addictive too... :/ Night: Whut? No way did TO get teh ‘best’ of me, this is online communication @ it’s finest. Simple, fast, readeble, it’s a new age, we gotta embrace it! Pho: This...stuff...is hardly "readeble," as you ever-so delightfully put it. Night: xaxaxaxa, chillax grl. It’s just slang. Pho: Just slang?!? Not only are your abbreviations and random colloquialisms annoying, but It's people like you who are contributing to the downfall of Western society as we know it. You’re murdering English grammar!!!! .-. Night: Grammar? It's overr8ed m8. So tell me Pho, why is slang sucha bad thing, hmm? Pho: Grammar overrate... :mellow: Look, slang isn't necessarily bad, but you shouldn’t use it to the point where you don’t even use real words anymore. It makes you really hard to understand, not to mention the fact that you seem to be the embodiment of all cyber-stereotypes, ever. -.- Night: W8, hard to understand? Grl, plz, slang is all about shorter, snappier, and concise-er communication. It’s a waste of time and energy to type your words out fully when you could shorten them and spend more time on the important stuff...like rockin' out at TO. xD Pho: I think the correct word you’re looking for is “lazy”. Incredibly so. Seriously - the word “girl” is only one syllable long and you still managed to leave out a letter. It doesn't take that much longer to type things out fully, and then maybe your words won't look like a bunch of typos. Night: Well... okay, meybe. But u can’t deny that it makes ur writing unique. By using slang, you can put your own spin on your words…it makes ya stand out from the crowd, and gets u beyond the rulz of grammar. Pho: If you mean “unique” in the sense that you’re the only one who doesn’t seem to know how to talk, you’re absolutely right! Honestly, when overdone, it makes you seem shallow, not unique. You look like you don’t take anything seriously, to the point where you can hardly be taken seriously yourself. Night: Hhhh, rlly Pho? Slang users aren’t all incompetent idiots. Pho: No? Have you looked at the main TO chat lately? Night: Meh, main chat is just another reason that you shud use slang. The anti-flood is hideous to work around, so shortening ur words has a clear and definite advantage there. The less u type, the more u get to say!!11!! Pho: I agree that the anti-flood wait is super annoying, but it’s something you can take advantage of, plz. The seconds wouldn’t last as long if you thought about properly shortening everything you want to say. If you have a paragraph of ideas you’re itching to spew, try compacting into just a few words. That way, you don’t even need to cut down the letters in the words themselves; you just end up requiring less words anyway. Voilà! You’ve slayed that waiting time as a Shaft M4 does an unsuspecting lil’ M1 ok. Night: Since when does an M4 shaft play with M1s -.- :? :/ ;o ^.^ Pho: (Sigh) You're missing the point...well, at least emoticons are not as irritating as things like “wud”, “cud” and “shud”. Shame on the phoenix who made those up. (cough) Night: Oh yes, the art of using emoticons to bring feeling to your writing. They add sparkle, and help express humor, sarcasm…. <3 hhh, emojis are pro. PhoeniXD: I’m totally with you on that one :PP Night: Uh what happened to ur name???? PhoeniXD: It’s got more sparkle now. d3s Night: Okay warpelican. PhoeniXD: GG. go cri noob Night: Nuuuuuu mult -.- nug, mult, nubissimo, mult, Hy6, mult, noob, mult................. Recording terminated. @Phoenix-Warbird and @Night-Sisters

Reporters are not directly responsible for that, once we've chosen our winners and posted the results it's all on the admin. :)

Alright, Hosting a Contest is live. Apologies for the wait everyone, couldn't quite finish before soccer practice :D

Contests. By no means mere frivolous appendages to the Newspaper, they function as one of the most exciting and well-loved aspects of each and every published Issue. They are a chance to put your best work on display, experience some healthy competition and, of course, earn those coveted crystal prizes. Seeing as they are such a popular component of the paper, perhaps it would be of interest to see it from the Reporter's POV and get a glimpse into what goes on behind the scenes when it comes to hosting a contest. _________________________________________________________________________________ Phase 1: The Idea Coming up with a good contest idea is by no means an easy feat. Generally speaking, we Reporters aim for concepts that will appeal to as many people as possible, while staying within the realm of feasibility. (Soo, you probably won't be seeing 'Contest: Opera Singing' anytime soon.) That said, the type of contest is also very much determined by the interests/hobbies of the Reporter running it. We all have different likes, and our contests very much reflect that. Ideas can literally pop up at any time, and tend to hit you from out of the blue. I've brainstormed some of my best contests while doing repetitive chores that don't overtax the brain-cells, such as folding wash, doing dishes, or hauling wood. The majority of contests tend to be in the writing or photography genres because they are easiest to pull off with limited forum capabilities, but every so often someone will come up something amazingly unique such as: What's the Password [This Time] The Logic Challenge Design a Contest (Sorry, couldn't help myself. :blush:) Tanki Mythology There are many, many more, of course, but these are a few of my favorites. :D Phase 2: The Contest Page Once a you've come up with an interesting idea, you need to start a topic in Newspaper Material. After that's accomplished, you have to go through the process of creating your contest page... and trust me, it's a lot harder than it looks. Despite the relatively small amount of writing required, planning, designing, and formatting can suck up well more than an hour of your time. Thankfully, all contest pages tend to have rather specific elements in common, so once you've created one, you have a basic format for all the rest. These key components are as follows: -Main Header -Introductory Blather -The Rules -The Prizes -'Tips' or 'Helpful Hints' -The Deadline These 'elements' don't necessarily have to be in that order, but the vast majority of contests contain most, if not all of them. Phase 3: The Rules The rules...possibly the most important part of the contest. While some vary from contest to contest, others can be found every single time. In fact, you guys are probably quite sick of seeing them, so today I'm going to take a look at a few of the most common rules and explain why they are what they are. No Plagiarism- This one seems like a bit of a no-brainer, but we still include it everywhere applicable because people do plagiarize. It is especially problematic in writing contests, where people can and do rip stuff off the internet to better their chances of winning those crystals. Posting a rule won't stop it, of course, but I'd like to think that it provides a bit of a deterrent...it is extremely hurtful to see people try and take advantage of the reporters and the paper and is always demoralizing when it happens. No Reservation of Posts- The idea behind 'reserving' a post is that your contest entry will be closer to the top, thus having a better shot of being seen and eventually winning. Sounds legit, right? Heh, actually, the idea is incredibly flawed, as reporters consider each and every eligible entry receive, no matter if it's on page 1 or 8. The judging criteria are skill and originality - not how many likes you receive or how close to the top you posted. And frankly, having a whole bunch of 'reserved' posts clutters up the first page and makes our job more difficult, especially when the contest ends and there are still reservations that weren't turned into an entry. Placing entries in spoilers- It's not always a rule, but when we ask you to do this, it's for good reason. Sifting through huge posts is not easy, and consistent use of spoilers makes dealing with entries a whole lot easier. Overall, it's important to remember that we don't create rules 'just for funsies'. We try to ensure that things are always clear, reasonable, and professional. Phase 4: And it's out! This is the most exciting time of hosting a contest, because of you, dear readers. Or more accurately, it is the thrill of seeing your fantastic entries. The quality of work that people can do if they put their minds to it never ceases to amaze. Once a contest has gone public, it is crucial for us Reporters to keep an eye on the chat lanes, both to monitor entries and answer any questions people might have. And yes, occasionally even to disqualify entrants. Disqualification is, however, an extreme, last-resort option, and only done when an entrant shows a clear and absolute disregard for the rules that have been put in place. Thankfully, most of the time we are able to just sit back watch happily as a host of legit entries fill the chat. Then, when the proper number of days have elapsed, we get to close the contest by first posting a professional-looking 'this contest is closed' in the topic; and then heading directly to the main contest page and to use our handy-dandy toolbox to lock the topic. We always have to be quick on the draw though, and lock the topic as soon as possible after posting; tankers have this pernicious and hilarious habit of slipping a comment in before the contest is actually locked. Phase 5: Choosing the Winners Choosing three winners has always been my least favorite part of hosting a contest. Being forced to nominate 'the best' is a gut-wrenching, nerve-wracking experience. Once I've finished bemoaning my abject stupidity for hosting a contest in the first place, I get down to it and start the blasted results topic. After that, I go through the entries of the contest and collect ten to fifteen of the very best. Of those, I regretfully pare down to the top seven...then the top five. Once I'm at this point, I put a call out to any of the other Reporters that care to look, and ask for second (and third) ((and fourth)) opinions on who should get that coveted first place. It is not a fun decision, to say the least. (I've been told that it gets easier with time and experience...not sure I believe that though.) Once the official winners are decided, all that remains is to type in the names of the lucky contestants and assign crystals. The contest process is over...almost. Phase 6: Monitoring the Complaints Hosting contests for the newspaper has clearly taught me two things. 1. You can't make everyone happy. 2. The unhappy people are going to complain. Not everyone has a vindictive streak, thank goodness. However, the ones that do can really make you question yourself, and your decisions. "Was I right? Did that guy deserve second instead of third? Did I miss something important?" Bah. We do our best to choose the deserving entries. Complaining about it won't help one whit. _________________________________________________________________________________ And there you have it folks, the inside look at contest hosting. Is it what you expected? Can we all agree to never complain in a Results topic again? Be sure to leave your thoughts and comments below.

Well folks, here we are. Yet another Women's Day has come and gone on Tanki; Instagram contest results are long since out, those special gifts little more than a distant memory, and the 'Spring Showdown' battle between well-known female tankers over and done with. If you are sitting here reading this article, it is more than probable that you are a member of the EN community. It is also quite possible that you took a gamble and bought the INT paint... and thus are not terribly happy about your loss of 5k. My apologies, but apart from the whole losing thing, (which you can watch here, in case you somehow missed the battle) playing for the International team really was fantastic, and if asked, I would jump at the chance to do it again. Getting to meet, play with, and befriend other highly-skilled female tankers was a uniquely interesting experience...but more than that, it was downright fun. Of course, the perk of being both a reporter and a player is that I now get to share that experience and give you an insider look at the INT team. So, settle on back and enjoy the ride... Recollections: By: Just 2-3 days before the big day, I got to know the girls. Most of them didn't know each other before that. Girls = shy, so shy that I put them all in a group call and only two of them could do that thing we call talking. :rolleyes: Parallel to that I gathered a few lads in a separate chat to organize little friendly trainings. After each training the boys would give tactical advice to the girls to help them play better as a team. The very first training the girls had against the boys was actually good, since they won. Us boys were just goofing around. The next day however we crushed their spirit so badly that they were all so morally beaten down it made my job for the big day all the more harder. Picture me, a solitary dude, fighting against ten stubborn women who had then suddenly broken the ice and were now more focused on girly talks and completely forgot about the match. I've seen everything from the minor tanki gossips, to pictures of ribbed actors from TV serials I've never even heard of, to more disturbing stuff I rather forget ASAP. Heck, at one point I was even subject to a raging debate of "Who's more cute? DS or Semyon?" :huh: On the big day however, I introduced the band to @The.L-E-G-E-N-D. The group morale was down at that point and no one really bothered. But gradually I managed to slowly recover that, refocus them on what they've been brought together for and shaping their spirits up. The selling point was making the group believe that they were genuinely good from their first training victory and that the boys were only able to crush them on the next day because @The.L-E-G-E-N-D.was guiding them on how to do it all throughout the match, and that from now on he will start doing exactly the same thing for the INT team and everything will be fine as long as they all pay attention to him. Quite a gamble! I honestly do not know how much proper attention @The.L-E-G-E-N-D got, other than the girls having apparently forced him to put a picture of himself and his beautiful long hair up, but the gamble seemed to have paid off. They were more attentive, opened up to multiple suggestions, started talking as a team, drawing plans for attacks, defense, planning routes, devising strategies, deciding on the lineups, incorporating the advice they were receiving from the boys, etc... The time arrived and the battle started and we've all seen what our girls were capable of. But some grinch somewhere wasn't too happy and the "lags" started happening. Everyone was angered. Part of it due to the fact that while practically the whole of the INT team was off map and reloading, one of the Russian girls used the opportunity to come in, take a flag, capture it and then worst of all see the referee validate that capture. The mood of the team was very bitter but it was nothing compared to what came the next day. They were told to keep everything secret, and that meant they wouldn't even be able to freely speak with the guys who helped them in the past days. And there went their biggest source of moral boosting and team advice. At the same time a few absurd, treacherous comments on the forums, specially the ones from friends celebrating the sad facts and bashing the INT team just because they purchased the RU paint spoiled the mood. Several of the girls felt betrayed as they knew some of these persons and had even helped them in the past in various things. On Wednesday everyone was online several hours before the scheduled start of the match but somehow they were only contacted minutes before that to obtain their new accounts. And with that came a whole slew of problems. Sparing the details, that whole hour was very stressful for the whole group. So stressful that many wanted to boycott the whole thing and go out. Myself, @The.L-E-G-E-N-D and a few of the girls spent the whole hour trying to convince everyone to stay calm and play the game despite the appalling conditions. Upon getting on the battle field, the frustration grew even bigger at the sight of the opposition now having a full garage set which meant that the strategies devised by the boys were now obsolete since the latter factored in the garage sets of both teams in their plans. But now all of a sudden the team didn't have access to any new plan, they couldn't ask the boys for last moment advice, as they were asked to keep the secret. @The.L-E-G-E-N-D and myself had now already moved to the commentators box. So, the whole team after 1.5 hours of frustration, anger and tough emotions now felt all alone on their own to fend for themselves. It was quite saddening to see that even as the match was beginning some of the girls were still begging for a reschedule only to receive a cold "нет, play." Despite all that, the team did admirably. The winning margin was rather slim in both rounds. Their only weakness was not being able to effectively take down the double Vulcan setup the enemy now had. A clan or team would have more promptly adapted to that and counter the enemy with bold new moves within 5 minutes. Its easy for many of us, specially the eSports-centric players, to say the team should have done this or that and bash them for being noobs at team strategy. Just like its easy for all of us to forget that this was by no means a clan or official team playing. And to be honest, they made it easy for us to forget that with their good performance on Tuesday. The truth however is that those girls have all up till now ran away from clans and teams and for practically all of them this was their very first time playing within a team on a call. Interview: As a special treat, allow me to welcome key players , , and @CooperO who all cheerfully and willingly agreed to talk about the battle. Thank you ladies, I really appreciate it!! (Please note that you open the spoiler below at your own risk. Beware large chunks of text!) Photo Album: In the hours before the battle, Mia took group photos. Some were extremely visually impressive: Others demonstrated near-perfect coordination and timing: But to me, the photo below is what best represents the spirit of the International team; a group of ladies who decided to show off their pro faceplanting skillz and then went into a massive fit of giggles on Teamspeak. Good memories, girls! A link to the full, albeit unofficial INT album can be found here. The Lineup: A terrific player all-around, Jenny is consistent and highly skilled. She functioned as a mid/offensive striker in the women's day battle, utilizing Isida, Firebird, and Smoky well. (And, though she denies it, Jenny is also dangerously proficient with a Railgun.) A huge asset and fun to play with, we were really glad to have her on the team. She's Mia... enough said :P. (Jk, jk.) Archangel was our XP girl on attack. She made some phenomenal plays, most notably in the first battle, when she escaped with the flag via the 'scenic route'. Great to play with, easy to talk to, and a talented tanker... Rally was, for the most part, an offensive Isida. She assisted Mia and Jenny on the offense. @CooperO Simply put, Cooper was the defense. She was so good with Vulcan/Mammy on the flag that the Russians put the exact same combo on the field. Cool, calm, and collected under pressure, she was definitely 'beast'. ;) @LadyYuna The other key defensive player, Yuna backed Cooper up with Isida and Viking. Together, they were an undeniably formidable combo. I must admit that as a purely defensive player I didn't see much of Mrs.Queen, which is a good thing! It means that she was doing her job, wielding the nemesis-to-all-rails combo (Smoky/Viking) as part of the offense. @maidchy This is the girl who made our lone flag capture in the battle against Russia. Excellent player, all around. @drijfsijssie Unfortunately, Drif did not get a chance to play in the first battle and couldn't make the second. Hats off to her though, for still attending training with a broken hand. @Lestat-400 Did not get to play at all, which was a horrible mistake. Was unfailingly calm, and set up the Teamspeak server for INT. @Meliora: A good Thunder, Meliora was as cool as a cucumber even in the midst of our rather chaotic game. She played mid/attack, and kept a level head. @Night-Sisters: The lowest ranking player on the team, I was the third member of the defense and provided the vast majority of nervous chatter on Teamspeak. Mainly used XP or Hunter and Rail to snipe and provide support for Cooper. A huge thank you to for his unfailing patience with us, @The.L-E-G-E-N-D for all the moral support, the guys that we trained with and against, and also the RU ladies, for such good games. Afterthoughts Despite the 'lag' of the first battle and miscommunication, stress, and ultimately losing to RU in the second, the INT team played well. It was hugely exciting to see us come together as team, buckle down, and play Tanki at an extremely high level, considering the circumstances. The experience had it's ups and downs, but I can honestly say that I am proud to have been a member of this team...at the end of the day, we did our best and fought our hardest. GG Russia, 'til next year then. ;)

Bad habit of mine. :ph34r:

HeroClix is funnnn, I remember playing that. Ever heard of Munchkin? Now there is an insanely cool game. ^_^

@shellfire, nice collection of Redwall you have there. ^_^

Mammoth is decent, at M3 modification the extra health could be worth it. At lower M's though, Titan and Mammo's protection are so close that Titan's speed makes up for the 5 or 6 extra hit points, imo. As we said though, there are other parameters that might make Mammoth a better choice for your particular gaming style.

The Adventures of a Nublet: A Comprehensive Guide to Ping Pong Greetings, once again it is I, . Contrary to popular opinion, the occupation of professional trolling is not my sole intellectual pursuit in life. For instance, I also consider myself to be a connoisseur of fine maps; I delight in learning the intricate particulars of the lesser-known oddities Tanki has available. Ping Pong is perhaps, one of the most underrated maps in the game. Frankly, this is a tragic state of affairs, and as Night-Sisters is terribly busy with familial matters, it seems the perfect time to introduce this unpretentious map to the TO community. Overview To the untrained eye, Ping Pong seems like a symmetrical map, and thus is assumed capable of hosting perfectly equitable gameplay. However, once placed under the scrutinizing gaze of a professional map shark, such as myself, it is clearly apparent that the odds are stacked heavily in favor of the Blue team. It seems that, due to a landscaping error, the blue side received an extra bush, providing extra cover. Although this matter may seem small and insignificant, I can assure the readers that blue tenures a noticeable advantage, especially when it comes to matters of sniping and hiding with the flag. Most Effective Combo I am firmly convinced that Shaft/Mammo is the only worthwhile combo to use in Ping Pong. It is extraordinarily effective and makes for gameplay that is scintillating in the extreme. Though this premise is questioned by certain...doubters of sith-affiliation, to the truly enlightened, it is clear that Shaft is by far the best weapon. The bushes provide excellent cover in which to hide your bulk, you can safely guard the flag from afar, and it is nearly impossible to miss a shot. As is clearly obvious, the players featured below are having an incredible time. Defending A Mammoth trio huddled on the flag is a singularly effective defensive strategy, albeit one that does leave a distinct lack of offensive options. Due to an inability to touch the flag, your enemies will eventually tire of the endless stalemate and leave, allowing the most patient players to sweep up the fund. Of course, not everyone has the time or wherewithal to out-wait the opponents. If you find yourself in this strata, fret not! The next best defensive strategy is to lay a thorough layer of mines at both choke points and so prevent your enemies from invading your territory. For the obvious reasons, it is important that both teams lay respective mine traps, lest one or the other gain an advantage. Attacking Attacking in Ping Pong is a real bother, and should be avoided if at all possible. However, if you feel you must, I advise avoiding using the typical routes. It is an extremely predictable move, and extremely easy to defend against. Instead, you must train your little tanker brain to think...wait for it... outside the box!!!11!!11!!!1! To outwit opponents in Ping Pong you must be sly; devious cunning deceitful Rather then go through the tortuously predictable bother of traveling around the fence, take a lesson from that proverbial flying crow and use the shortest route to the flag. This is a fairly complex and revolutionary concept to grasp: thus, to adequately further your enlightenment, I shall provide a diagram. Conclusion I, cannot be held responsible if my readers find the above article lacking in any way, shape, or form. Please refrain from posting pessimistic and depressing remarks below, as it is offensive to my delicate sensibilities. However, you are more than welcome to direct any objections to the PM of Ms. Night-Sisters, as she will be quite happy to field any and all complaints. 'til the next time, this is signing out.

Need I say more? :)

What is it they say? Give the man a cookie. :)