You've followed my guide better than anyone here. Congratulations, you are now my head student!

Stolen off Reddit:

And I agree. This article is satirical and not to be taken seriously - I intentionally gave the absolute worst advice possible to make fun of the people who do use those tactics.

Ask, and you shall- oh that was quick Shameless plug to the ultimate guide to life and the universe. Good for TO and otherwise.

Isida M2, Hunter M1, Sakura paint, no clue what module.

I see you too are a man of great culture ...or at least were. RIP BYM, never forget Kixeye

iirc though, wasn't there already a way for AWC people to submit articles for the newspaper? Sure, it took a bit longer, but it wasn't that much of a problem, considering the paper comes out every month or so. I'm supposing this is a test run of sorts, so if it is, how long will it last?

How to insult properly: Hail, reader. I was inspired to create this article whilst reading a heated political “debate” over the internet. Some tripe or other about a strange citrus golem in power and whether or not it’s influenced by poutine, whatever. Nobody really cares about that, and as a nobody, neither did I. What I was looking at was how the back-and-forth banter went. Everyone was insulting everyone else in the most glorious ways possible – I didn’t know there were well over fifty ways to call someone a turd online until that day. Alas, their insults were not in the most efficient ways possible: They could not shut down their opponents nor their arguments, and their points were rendered fruitless by even more fruitless opinions. That is where I come in. I would never want to see you beautiful people arguing in such a manner as the one detailed above. What I want is to see you insulting away at your full potential. I want to see you have the capability to completely shut down your opponent in a flame war, if you so wish. I want to see you go above and beyond in this art that is calling people names over the internet. I want you to learn. To grow. To carry on this legacy. You need only to heed my words to complete this task: Step one: Call people names. Nothing discourages one more than being called out with a degrading name. Even those with power look on at the name you called them in global chat because they wouldn’t give you a cookie, even though you begged on your knees and promised to eat their toenails in fear – that’s what gets you banned. The Mods fear being called names. They’re human too. And that is what we’ll be investigating here for the majority of this entire guide. How can you get your opponents to just give up the fight? Here, I’ll show an example of calling people names done correctly: As seen above, Tofu quit. He used the pretense of stating that my well-structured and original insult was completely stupid, but we all know better. It is obvious to even the casual observer that he intensely dislikes being called names – he can’t handle it, and thus he quit his argument against such a higher being as myself. Just keep piling on the pressure, and your opponent’s fortress is bound to crack eventually. Step two: Intimidate your opponent. Many sources on the internet say that bragging about yourself does not help you win a debate, or even a completely over-the-top yelling contest. ...and they’re right. Don’t do that. Step three: Intimidate your opponent properly. Instead, brag about who you know, who you are connected with. It’s so obvious to everyone that you can’t actually do anything to whoever the other person is over the web, and that’s what makes insulting people on the internet so effective. Unfortunately, the same can be applied to you too – you can’t do anything to whoever is insulting you, and they very likely know it. To circumvent this, claim that you are related to, are friends with, are friends with someone who is friends with, were given up for adoption by, saw the back of their head this one time at a soccer match, or are married to a powerful and influential person who can definitely change the life of whoever you’re arguing with. A popular example is the “my dad works for Microsoft so you’re about to be banned” threat. That’s sure to prompt some fear in your opponent, because only you know it’s bogus. After all, they can’t see you, they don’t know your real name, they can’t be 100% certain that your last name isn’t Gates. Step four: If you are able to, delete and ignore all valid criticism. The last thing you want to be in an internet argument is wrong. Nobody likes to be wrong. Especially on the internet, where opinions and being right can get you so much. By being right in an internet argument, you can earn such things as... Erm...well, don’t worry about that now. What you need to know is how to be right in the first place. Now, this step is simple: If someone gives a valid point towards your being wrong, then they are evil spawns of the devil and their points must be deleted if possible, and ignored otherwise. After all, you can never be wrong, right? Right. That’s why you must take every measure possible to make sure you stay right. If someone disagrees with your opinion and has plenty of evidence to back up their post, report it for hate speech, because if they disagree with you, then that’s clearly what their post is. If you can’t delete it yourself or get someone to delete their opinion fast enough, then there are several powerful techniques you can use to keep attention off of you in the meantime: Step five: Fallacies. For any of those wondering what these are, a fallacy is an argumentative point that is extremely hard for the person receiving it to respond properly, leading to their “fall”. There are many, many fallacies that you can utilize for your own purposes, but I’ll leave the searching to you, and list only a few: The strawman: Showing to the world what your opponent really means by what they said, while using your interpretation of their argument as the objective argument which you decide everyone will refer to – it’s obviously the right interpretation anyways. Ad hominem: Proving that your opponent’s stance is rendered false because of either what they have done in the past or what they act like, especially if they have always acted a little bit shady. Easily the best fallacy to use in tight corners, since it simultaneously puts down your opponent and brings you up to a pedestal. No true Scotsman: This works especially well if you’re speaking about a group. If you’re making a point about, say, Canadians, and then someone claims to be Canadian and refutes your claim, then there are two things to do: One, don’t panic. Remember, you’re always right. Find something wrong with what they said so that you can be right. Two, know that they aren’t an actual Canadian. Again, two reasons for that: One, what you said is obviously correct, so that’s the only way they can be wrong, unless they make a grammar mistake, in which case their entire argument is invalid. Two, Canada isn’t real anyways. I’m a Canadian and I should know. Step six: Grammar. Whew, the final step. There are two paths which you can take here, and each has its advantages and disadvantages. Listed: Bad grammar. This shows the opponent that you don’t care about either them or their argument enough to use proper grammar, and really helps with the intimidation factor. Using caps on every single word, not using punctuation, mixing up “your” and “you’re”, anything works. Especially if you keep reminding them about how much you don’t care about them and that your reply will be the last reply you make. If they ignore you, remind them that you really couldn’t care less and that you won’t post anything else. But be sure to reply to diffuse any arguments they make, just in case. Impeccable grammar. If you take this route, then you will always have the moral high ground. Especially because it puts pressure on your opponent to keep up the same standard of grammatical prowess. If they make a grammar mistake, then their entire argument is invalid, because then you don’t know what they might’ve meant – the convolution of their message may be intentional or unintentional, so you should be on your guard about that. Don’t ever let them forget that they made a grammar mistake, and if you make one too, just use tu quoque against them and you’ll be fine. Follow all these tips, and you can truly unlock your full potential. To become a master of insulting requires much practice, and you may have to practice by looking in the mirror and going through all the steps to finally get the hang of them. But I digress. What even is unlocking your potential? How is that measured? Well, it’s quite simple, really. Being your best insulting self in this way is the best path to take, but it’s not your goal. To achieve your real goal, you may have to go even deeper than I have: Maybe you should target and verbally abuse those in a higher position than you, or maybe you should reflect in on yourself after a good cry. Nothing wrong with crying here. After all, your true goal is: To act your own age. Regards, ~Exe

You cannot be serious Everyone here knew it was a link for autism - that's the point of this topic, just to see how many autistic traits you have. Did you really think the link would just lead to a test that said "wow your special ecks dee" if you got 50/50?

He's being sarcastic, no worries. Application is being reviewed.

16/50

Yea that's fair lol. Recently watched Jumanji - it wasn't bad in my opinion, but the Rock just made it that much better.

Really happy with this - it doubles as bonding time I guess lol VC is obviously optional though. It's recommended, but if you can't/don't want to, that's alright. You have your own reasons, we trust that they're good reasons, we respect you. :)

i want dont care about the in-game gift, i just want the autograph because im your #1 fan with drool leaking out of my mouth 24/7 but i have barely any original ideas that can be put into ~200 words or less what do pls help

i challenge you to a duel. no calculators, only fractions

So you coming up with the specific destinations of Florida and Miami, stating for no reason whatsoever that Destrod was your first client(?), adding in chrysanthemums, which is really random and out of place, and speaking of Destrod leaving the AWC as him "leaving the office" is all just a really stupidly big coincidence? Good lord. At least plagiarize properly, and own up to it if you get caught.

lolwhat Top 10 lists are personal and subjective. Don't take them so seriously

Desmos gang where you at

Chill guys he's just leaving this section lol, not the TO forum. Destrod isn't going to die, he's just moving on from AWC into other things. Like IRL.

See you buddy, thanks for putting as much effort into this section as you could have. It's really thrived since the last time I posted - it's great to see so many new highly talented writers here.

Actually, it has been theorized in the games and shown in the anime that Kirby's "stomach" is an entirely different dimension, and when you enter it, you don't necessarily die. I technically survive this attack. TPBM has to actually read OP's post in this topic. And then keep reading and rereading it until they either start to starve or get the point.

Unrelated:

Hey mate, just wanted to say you're doing a great job. The forum needs a little more you - great role model, experienced with life and this game, and perfectly willing to share said experience with whoever will listen. Don't stop speaking from the heart like you always do. Cheers.

like my previous lover, dynamite, we have a long-distance relationship

good lord i never thought this topic would get bumped