okay, time to learn calculus-based physics.

1. Don't worry; it was a little misunderstanding, so you will not be punished. I will simply select the better of your two responses in this case. Sorry for the inconvenience. 2. 4 June 2020

No, you don't need a title. I get that, sorry about that. I made a mistake with the google form, so now linebreaks work. I would not worry too much about paragraphs, though, especially with this being less than 100 words.

Okay, I just read this, and boy has this got me bothered. Lets break down every single problem I have with this idea. I'm already highly offended. It's 10:30 am. Not a good idea. We do cover most aspects of the game, just that eSports is at the Tankisport site. Okay, good point... I do like having it being "delivered", but it can be buggy and cluttersome. 2. Are you saying that I don't use gifs, videos, and pictures. Maybe not too much of videos, but I use diagrams. I am the one who gets annoyed if there isn't enough media in my article. Developers don't divulge any secrets to reporters. We do cover large Patch updates, as in the birthday update releasing Ares, crystal boxes, and the status notification. Gossip is likely useless, because in such a large community, you hardly know who is who. In middle school, sure. Tanki Online, not so much. 1. News and Announcements Subforum 2. Events Calendar Forum Topic Well, I think that might be unfair to Tankisport as some of their articles will become neglected. Contests. And newspaper contests. Become a helper. They will usually tell you when apps are open. Feedback, feel free to add anything you have there. Or the Newspaper Suggestions forum. Okay, the Russians also have their own newspaper, it might just be easier to read each one separately instead of asking for a translation Lottery Contests exist. So... basically, you just want a Forum, condensed, compressed, and zipped to the pockets of every tanker. I do think the idea would make sense and be useful theoretically, but in reality, it's likely not going to work out.

Haha. So I made a mistake with the Google Form and just needed to keep the question to see some responses, so leave it blank. About the second question, please make sure to mention the image number before submitting.

Ah, sorry for the late reply. The new rule is that you can enter for one of the images only. I will have to update the form and rules. Sorry for the confusion.

Want some quick crystals and other juicy prizes? Well, this contest is perfect for you! ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Task Your task is quite simple: take a screenshot of you in a MM battle wearing the Holiday Paint with the phrase "#TWNC" clearly written in the chat. Submit your screenshot in this form here. Rules 1. Please submit one submission on one account only. 2. Please do not post your screenshots in this topic. 3. Please do not share your screenshots with any other player. 4. Make sure your screenshot is a full-screen shot, including the nickname, progress bar, experience and crystals. Any cropped images will be disqualified. Those who violate the rules are subject to a ban on participating in future newspaper contests. Prizes Now, the section you've all been waiting for: prizes. Ten random entries will win a prize of 20 000 crystals, while two lucky winners will receive 10 gold boxes. Deadline: 19 June 2020 ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Well, what are you waiting for? Get going and good luck!

That's great! Best of luck! Actually, anything over 101 is DQ'ed. 100 is the maximum here.

Poems showcase skill, and therefore, we may offer bonus points. If the rhythm and rhyme are good too.

1. All good, as long as it is less than 101 words. 2. Yes, of course. Prizes are awarded for each image.

Hi, thanks for asking. The consolation prizes will be awarded to worthy entries that did not make the top 3. And yes, the word count here is 100 words.

I believe the results will be coming out very soon. It'll be there before you know it.

Please don't run me over. Also, unrelated, anyone know if Crisis will be in Test Server to test? I might need to run through the drone to get a feel of it.

Great story! Pythor's back at it again... will we be seeing a sequel? to the series, that is.

Oh dear Mr. Kaisdf, Where did the containers come from? I don't remember seeing any involved last time. ? Sincerely, Random P.S. Good Luck Everyone! If you wish, of course.

Out of all the games I have ever played, Tanki Online has definitely been the most memorable. I haven’t spent so much time on other games, interacting with other players in the community and growing as a tanker as well as a person. I’m grateful for these moments, and for this, I thought I’d share a few of my best memories in this game. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ XI: Ranking up to Third Lieutenant I had been looking forward to joining the lieutenant ranks since the summer of 2019. As a player back in 2017, I had aspired to become a Legend, but that dream quickly died when my parents discovered I had played an entire day of Tanki. When I had gotten back into the game in early 2018, I ranked up to Warrant Officer 1 with a few days left before the last day of school. I made it my goal to become a Third Lieutenant before the end of my summer break. Though I would never achieve that goal, it was still rewarding to see my younger self’s dream come true. X: Getting into the Editorials Program in the Tanki Online Newspaper/Winning Guide Maker My first editorial is a post I’ll never forget. Gaining Popularity In the AWS is something I had conceived after my flop in the “Write For The Tanki Online Newspaper” and perfected throughout the various weeks that I spent typing up the article. Just before I posted this topic, I had gone through a whirlwind of tough times caused by my stint in competitive writing, my own temper, and some of my undeveloped brain’s impulsive reactions. So, being able to start the year off with a major achievement was great. The editorial was not published for a while, and my impatience began to kick in. Fortunately, there was a great contest to keep me occupied: The Ultimate Guide Maker was there to save the day. While I had come up with some sort of a crude idea, I had procrastinated and barely had a few words for the article. Within a week of the deadline though, I was able to capitalize on the superpower of procrastination, conduct a quick interview, obtain and edit all the images I needed, write all 4 711 words of the guide, and somehow fit it all in the PM without too severe forum issues (though I experienced a record number of 504 Gateway errors). At about the same time, my editorial was published. The day the results came in, I had a sense of foreboding, thinking I had flopped. I recounted all my mistakes and tried to console myself, believing I had taken a consolation prize at best. But, Flexoo had mercy on me and declared my entry worthy of the newspaper. Between two weeks, I had two pieces in the Newspaper. How great was that? (Indeed, Challenges Conquered... I was in the Newspaper!) IX: Yes, a whole day in Tanki Online aka my Last Supper So, yeah, one of those days, I was on holiday and decided to use the computer to play Tanki Online. My account had been left neglected for about five or six days, and I was tired of watching my brother play Tanki Online while I desperately waited for a turn of my own, then watched in agony as it turned into another “watch-and-learn” lesson. So, I hatched a plan of my own. When my family was all gone, either at work or on vacation, I went on my dad’s PC, opened Tanki Online, grimaced through the 5 FPS CTF games, bought Isida and Firebird, upgraded some more equipment, and grinded all the way to the high rank of Staff Sergeant. I was so pleased… until I heard that garage door opening, meaning that my mom was home. Now I was in trouble. But hey, it was worth it. (One last Esplanade CP before I would see Tanki Online again. ?) VIII: Becoming a Reporter and Earning my First HoTM After a decently long break and a very strange turn of events, your very depressed PR suddenly became extremely positive and happy. That lasted for about a month and a half. During that time, I became a writing machine. Thinking of articles that I had once just forgotten, I started writing like crazy, typing up my pieces at the speed of sound. Due to this extreme productivity commonly unseen in the Newspaper department, I won my first HoTM, which only made me write more. It was an awesome honeymoon period as a reporter, not being single, and the world's blindness to the coronavirus. Ah, the two paints of achievement... VII: Discovering the Tanki Online Newspaper and the AWS Finding the Newspaper was probably the best thing I ever found out about Tanki Online. At that time, as you’ll soon find out, I was writing some sort of a crude newspaper by myself, detailing the current news (a war against K-pop), sports (the current state of my physical education class), gossip columns (me spying on the kids who were goofing off in my bio class), and much more. The moment I saw the little notification with the Newspaper, I knew there was something more to this game than being a low-ranked tanker trying to make it to Warrant Officer 1. For me, the newspaper represented a goal I wanted to achieve. I wanted to become the reporters penning kit reviews, useful guides, and hilarious opinion articles. I didn’t know where to start, but fortunately, I was somehow able to find the AWS after a while and post a first article. No, please don't read it.... it's awful. Though I started off my journey as a fledgling writer with a bit of a rocky start, I persisted (perhaps a bit too much so at times), put in effort (some of the time), and eventually pulled through in my year-long career in the AWS. VI: Joining the Forums and Entering Newspaper Contests After finding out about the Newspaper, I had an urge to join the reporter team, but at the time, I was under the minimum age of 15. My next goal was to check out the contests just because I was a bit low on crystals after doling out about 8 000 of them for a Firebird Micro-Upgrade. Of course, I saw the contests and was like “Hm, I’ll go participate in them…” and then procrastinated them for about three weeks. After some time, when the school year was winding down, I decided to get started. The night before the school year ended, I joined the forum, did some quick research on horoscopes, and entered a bit for the Tanki Horoscopes Contest. (23 May 2018) After a quick entry, I skipped over to another contest: Continue the Story. As it was late at that time, I decided to turn in and get to the story the next day. While my PE class was setting up chairs for graduation the next day, I snuck away and planned a plot for the CtS, then typed it all up during a thirty-minute lunch break. I was impressed with the fact that I even managed to win some crystals given the minimal effort I had put in. But once I had won something, I had also gained the hope that I would one day be skilled enough to write like the Reporter I am today. V: Rediscovering the game In my previous Rewind, I do mention something about being pulled away from the game. It was almost thirteen months before I would return to Tanki Online. During that time, I went from popular to pariah, and that’s enough to explain the mental toll it did to me. I knew I needed something to keep me emotionally stable, and I invested in various other games (MKWii, for one). To torture myself, my parents suggested joining a sport, so I ran track. (Of course, I was terrible, but I couldn’t just up and quit…) Halfway through the season, I was just checking the computer before practice when I noticed that Flash (which was supposed to be nonexistent) was running one of the BTD games I had played before. BTD didn’t load, luckily, and so my brain jumped to the next option: Tanki Online. Immediately, I hopped on and relearned the game that had once captivated me. Words still cannot describe the joy I felt on that day. (Of course, this was taken about two-and-a-half months later. Same difference.) IV: Capturing my first flag in CTF For me, my first few games in Tanki were always carefully watched by my brother, who would take over if I made a stupid mistake and slipped a bit. After a few battles, I was careful not to make a mistake. Finally, when I convinced him to go to the kitchen, I snuck into a Cross CTF and took the flag with ease. When a team of Firebirds and a Railgun tried to stop me, I was barely able to overpower them with my Smoky and brought the flag back to the Blue Team’s base. A few seconds later, my brother came back and noticed I was playing. Of course, he promptly took over on my account again trying to “teach” me how to play, but that was fine. I had captured my first flag. Nothing could take that feeling of accomplishment away from me. III: Becoming a Guest Writer I really would have to put it as number one if we were talking about most life-changing moments, but we aren’t so… #3 it stands. Just a few days before the invitation came, I was pondering quitting Tanki. I had just left all the Tanki-related Discord servers, placed my last story in the AWS, and started penning my goodbye topic. For me, I felt like being in Tanki served no purpose. Though I was an average writer, there wasn’t a chance of moving up to a Newspaper Reporter (my ultimate goal) and my stupidity had caused the enmity and hatred of many towards me. Quitting was perfect. One last goodbye, a sad tear down my cheek, and I would leave the game that I had once loved. The perfect go-to snack when you're lonely ;-; Sitting on a chair and clicking away at my dad’s desktop, I was listening to “f---, i’m lonely” while eating Chex Mix, passing the time in the most pointless of ways wishing my friend was online. At one point, drunk with Worcestershire sauce seasoning and music, I decided to open a new tab and finish up my goodbye topic. But it wasn’t meant to be. The moment I logged in, I was greeted by a PM. Flexoo had invited me to join the Guest Writers team (in exchange for some more maturity, which I have a perpetual lack of), and of course, I accepted. How could I turn down such an offer? II: Becoming a Reporter Candidate Each reporter’s story is different, and of course, mine is quite an interesting one, just like everyone else’s. I had become a Guest Writer and reversed my potential retirement just a few months back. For weeks, I had thought of many ideas and promised to get working, but after one article, the creative juices stopped flowing. In fact, I had not written anything Tanki-related since October 19. During that time, I had just thought about life and the cruel turn it had taken since my friend had stopped interacting with me. On top of that, those past few days, I had been pressured by my parents to study harder before finals, and that was taking a mental toll on my life. I remember crying myself to sleep like the crybaby I was, walking to school downcast, thinking that I would probably go home and use self-harm to stop this pain from hurting me anymore. Instead, I logged onto Discord while studying for finals and found Flexoo’s message waiting for me. [screen] My despair was wiped away from me for a few days, and I posted up my first two articles. Life went on. I had hope for the future. Well, that is, for a few days. However, it is still one of my best moments in Tanki Online to this day. I: Every new day in Tanki Online For me, each day is a new surprise. When I log in to the forum, questions often pop up in my head, and I wonder: Will I come up with some new ideas for my articles? What will I be doing today? Do I decide to end this AWS writer’s torture and approve this piece today? Any articles for me to proofread? Because of all these surprises I face each day, I truly do love my job as a Reporter. (And of course, my role as a tanker, but I don’t play too much.) Will I one day become Admin? While the world plays Fortnite, Smash, Minecraft, or Valorant, I am often moody waiting for them to finish their game so they can talk to me. (And I’m probably watching everything I worked for in 2019 go straight to ruins because of my perpetual lack of maturity messing with me) But when I’m writing an article, I’m in pure focus. Everything that once bothered me has melted away. And that’s why I’ll stay with Tanki until its very last day. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ And those are my top eleven memories in Tanki Online! Happy Birthday Tanki, and may we celebrate many more together!

where are ya going to fit all those 250 people?

The Dictator Dictates Dic. Dictator D. Dictator's Dictatorship by @Magenta Dictators usually dictate dictatorships dictatorially, but The Dictator dictates dictators dictatorially. Take for example Dictator Dictator Dictator Dictator's dictatorial dictatorship. Dic. Dictator D. Dictator claims Dic. Dictator D. Dictator dictates Dic. Dictator D. Dictator's own dictatorship and The Dictator dictatorially, but actually The Dictator dictates Dic. Dictator D. Dictator's dictatorial dictatorship and The Dictator itself dictatorially without dictatorial advice from other dictators. In order to dictate dictatorially, The Dictator dictates that we The Dictator Writers dictate our dictatorial editorials whilst dictating a driver to drive a dictator over Dic. Dictator D. Dictator's effigy. This is the truth. The Dictator dictates you to not trust any contrary source of information; if you should come across any, kindly report them to The Dictator's Dictatorial Sensorship office. Any other action would be contrary to the idea of a dictatorship, and hence will be dictatorially dealt with. New hull Ares to be auctioned, says Opex-Rah by @Person_Random Tankers have long awaited the hull Ares to be released on Tanki's 11th Birthday. To spice up the celebrations, the developers have decided to make these hulls limited edition, saying little more than "Ares is special" when questioned. "After all, Jordans are highly coveted for their rare status, and we would like to capitalize on that strategy with Ares. Make the game even better, y'know?" reported Opex-Rah. We are proud to announce that we at the Dictator have smuggled our mult admin into the Perm HQs as a bumbling visitor and stolen the auction details. On June 4, eleven of each modification (from Mk1 to Mk7) will be released, with a starting price of 2 000 crystals and a Tankoin for Mk1 to 128 000 crystals and 1 000 TKs for an Mk7. During the festivities, a special livestream will be held where interested buyers can bid through the live chat. Godspeed, tankers; get your crystals saved. Or get lucky with a container. A short and definitely grammatically correct word from the Dictator's dictator by Dictator Dictator Dictator Dictator Police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police. Newspaper Admin Sues The Dictator On Defamation Charges By @Magenta The Newspaper admin @kaisdf recently announced in a press conference that he is going to sue The Dictator on defamation charges. "Every. #&@*ing. Piece. Is. About. My. Alleged. Crimes. I'm sick and tired of this nonsense. The Dictator is all lies, and I'm going to prove it in court," a reporter quoted him. The Dictator is the Tanki's finest source of news, and so decided not to censor the blasphemous words. Our newspaper admin, of course, thinks otherwise, and we will not censor his thoughts because we are Tanki's finest source of news: "The Dictator is full of [censored], I tell you this. I'm sure the judge will rule against them; it can obviously not be otherwise." While he declared to comment on which lawyer he thinks will volunteer to fight for him and face such inevitable defeat at the hands of The Dictator's skilled lawyer @Person_Random, we are sure that the answer is nobody. Nonetheless, if he does manage to ensnare a naive chap, we should expect no more than a jolly few minutes of entertainment at court. Abolition of Helper positions By @Sacrifice During the start of March, the forum saw some significant changes to its helper positions. A new group called content helpers, under the leadership of Seilah and Abovo. invaded the forum. Fearing the power of the administrators of this group, other dictators admins feared their dominance and shut their mouths. Kaisdf has been known to have said: "They came all of a sudden! I had to bow before them and present my proofreader abilities in bargain for my life. I have yet to finish my lifetime sentence of slavery!". After most of their admins were taken captive, the helpers thought that the plight had ended and now they could resume their daily life work as usual. But, given their ambitious personalities, the content helpers had other plans. Two weeks later, they abolished the Broadcasting and Designers team's official status and made them a branch of their own dictatorship. Other helper groups now fear the ever evident Content Helpers group. The.L-E-G-E-N-D and Goges.Enze were promised leadership if they avoided resistance. Intoxicated by the promise of power, these admins showed no remorse for their helpers, who were then stripped of their individual statuses and marked as content helpers. Abovo and Seilah have terrifying plans for the EN community, of which "Assert Dominance" is their top priority! AWS Monetization Program by @Person_Random Tanker! Want to earn some crystals while improving your writing skills? Then listen up, for free crystals are heading your way. It’s simple: we simply need more slaves writers to help us make the Newspaper Section and AWS more active, so we’re going to sweeten the pot for any amateur writers. All active AWS writers will be earning up to 10 crystals per view of their articles and 5 crystals per word in each of your articles from 2020. To guarantee that you will be earning crystals, please send an article here that has reached more than 100 views made on or after 1 January 2020 to be considered for this new payout program. Once you have done that and written some decent articles, click this link here to receive your monthly payments. We hope you continue to write in the AWS! Update: Case-doof Spotted, a special thanks to our supporters by @Person_Random It has been one month since we’ve called for your help in the last issue of The Dictator, and many players have been able to step up for the greater good of the newspaper. So many of you have kindly donated to us poor starving robots workers at the Dictator. We are so grateful to have received your help and hope you can continue to help out. Below are the great contributions we have received from twelve tankers: Crystals - 7 Speed Boost - 2 Mine - 1 With this generous support, we have been able to spot this mysterious Case-doof, trip him, and therefore have him drop the donuts and cookies he would have embezzled for a third month in a row. We were finally able to obtain enough fuel for our Hunter Mk2 and manage to print out three copies of this wanted sign because of this miracle. This mystery man appears to be a Shaft-Wasp wearing the blue paint, so if you spot him at the garage, please, please, call the police and end his reign. Please continue to support The Dictator by calling 1800-HELP-THE-DICT. We thank you for your acts of kindness. Le TrUtH by The Leaky Mult

Ah... memories of the first newspaper I ever read. Shoutout to everyone who made it great!

Can relate to not having enough Tankoins... that's always annoying. On the other hand, my potato computer is bothering me again. ?

Okay, you're welcome ?

no, not gonna get rickrolled, thanks for the invitation ?

sorrry, i don't know what a life is ?

I have no idea ? That must have been a record time approval right there... I've never approved anything so fast. Really, I was just on the forum when I got a notif about something in the AWS, and then I went ahead and approved it zip. (No edits might have helped)

Approved. Awesome! I'm glad to see the return of this series. I was always wondering where this had gone. Though I am no fan of poems in general (as we all know), I really enjoyed the light, conversational tone of this chat. It didn't feel like it was in verse, but rather like an everyday conversation between two people, so if that was the goal of the poem, then you two did it perfectly. It's good to know that you are passing this time by writing an entertaining poem about the situation today. Hopefully the third edition of the Poetic Chat will return soon! No edits; it's a poem, I feel like I'm ruining it if I fix something.