Story [Issue 6] The Beginning of the Newspaper

[Ranger7 75]

The Beginning of the Newspaper
Most of you reading this enjoy the newspaper every month. But I expect that few of you know how it began. This story will be only one of the many stories surrounding the beginning of the newspaper:

~Please note that the correctness of most of this cannot be... verified~

Les Alterman sat down on a sofa. He had just been yelled at by 50 English Community members (or at least it sounded like that on skype) and he was tired. Many users, it seemed, wanted a paper to be issued out to the English community. Les decided that it would probably be best if he started to work on a crew to man the initial issue. He knew they had to be a crack team, and was certain where to start…

Tommy lounged about in his computer chair. After staring at kool's picture, complete with autograph and afro, he was excited. This was certainly a valuable piece of memorabilia. Of course, he thought, a picture with Bruce on it with his signature… the price could not be comprehended! Suddenly something caught his attention! Some person who had no idea on how to spell phosphorous wrote “hoshorus.” Tommy’s hands went to a blur and speedily typed out a message correcting the miscreant’s bad spelling.

Les was checking the list of new posts, and noticed that a new one had been posted. It was by the user “Tommy60.” Briefly checking the message, he found that the user’s grammar was perfect. He had also noticed that this was one of the users who suggested a English newspaper, and this particular user happened to be one of the first to do so. Les decided that Tommy would have to undergo a test before he could be accepted into the newly forming “Reporter Crew.” There were many possible tests that could be used for this job, such as grammatical tricks, or even a spelling-bee for him, but Les decided that Tommy would easily beat any of the hardest spelling-bee’s that he could put to him so it would have to be something different. Suddenly, he had it! He would have one of the hardest challenges of all, he would have to out-spam the all-time spamming champ, Contaminated!

Tommy, to say the least was very surprised when he was invited to a battle by Les. Contaminated instantly started doing what he did best… Spamming! Instantly, Tommy knew what he had to do. His fingers started working in a blur of motion, and started spewing out random words, with perfect spelling, of course! Dingus, who had been ordered by the Tanki High Command to shadow Contaminated, was watching! He decided that it was enough, and was about ready to ban both of them when suddenly, Tommy, who had been typing and hitting the enter button numerous times, was banned for five minutes! Of course, that decided the winner of “The epic spam battle.” Contaminated, to say the least, was disappointed. But then he got banned as well, but for a hour! And still to this day, if you ask Contaminated about this battle, he will still claim victory.

Les Alterman was working franticly with his afro. He knew that somehow kool pictures had leaked out, complete with afro! He needed something to show kool that his afro would be much larger than his! But meanwhile, his reporter crew had to have another member. He had to have large, boring posts, and a total of five degrees on pointless topics, of course!

Skitee was working on one of his longer posts that he hoped would bore half the English community, or so he hoped. But of course, it probably wouldn’t bore that many people. And then either Contaminated or FederalBreauFBI would post some silly face palm, what an insult to a good writer! This topic, he decided, would be on his ultimate knowledge. And he decided he would use his five degrees: His Clan Degree, Knowledgeable speller degree, which took him 20 years to get, his only problem with this claim was his age, 15 years… His other degrees, the Most Facepalm images, his Longest Writer award, Honorary Spammer degree, and of course, a degree on the craziest hairstyle.

Conan the destroyer swiftly destroyed another tank. Suddenly, he realized it might have been the wrong one. Someone started yelling at him angrily from the next room. Uh oh, it was the wrong one! Skitee was infuriated at Conan, and kept up yelling. Then Tommy asked Conan and Skitee to join a new Reporter group. Tommy knew that Conan would destroy any reporter who refused to obey Tommy’s rule, and so this is how Tommy took over the Newspaper.

Les Aterman suspected nothing when he accepted Conan, and also added skitee. Les knew this was enough members to make the English community see huge posts and few images. And so, the English Newspaper… began.

Edited September 26, 2017 by Hexed

[r_BLASTOISE-T120 241]

hahahahaha, about tommy and conta, that was priceless :D

[hogree 4,179]

Fantastic Ranger! Nice originality, great writing... and you made me lol :lol:

[Ranger7 75]

lol Thanks guys :D

[alkhalid101 0]

nice story

[The.L-E-G-E-N-D 5,093]

^ Ranger just spammed the topic. :o

[r_iwaka0 0]

good story good job :)

[Ranger7 75]

Sorry guys. Anyway, thx again

[datie9 72]

Amazing Ranger!

[kiler12345 8]

Amazing :D

[lenti2010 0]

very nice :ph34r:

[Meliora 1,652]

You spelt FBI's name incorrectly - very funny ATS.

[FederalBureauFBI 2,881]

He did the same for Les.

The only thing I couldn't understand is when I gave a facepalm to skit... :rolleyes:

Oh, now I see

 

~Please note that the correctness of most of this cannot be... verified~

Edited November 10, 2012 by FederalBureauFBI

[Meliora 1,652]

Please, some errors found:

1. franticly - frantically

2. kool pictures - kool's pictures

3. half the - this is spoken, not written

4. Les Aterman - as FBI said

5. infuriated at Conan - with, not at.

[chriswu 25]

Reporters are not permitted to edit their posts after publication.

[303sniper 0]

So this is how it all started :D

I'm interrested in the next "newspaper". So keep the flow going :D

[cablaz 32]

Was I not part of the start? o_O Am I forgotten already?

[chriswu 25]

Ranger joined after you left...so you weren't forgotten, you just were never...uh...idk forget it -.-

[Meliora 1,652]

Do they not check them beforehand?

[kolyan4455 0]

а кто по-русски умеет шпарить?

[SuperNick95 5,312]

Wait a moment, I want an article about the beginning of the consultants group <_>

[skitee 555]

Wait a moment, I want an article about the beginning of the consultants group <_<

Write it then. -_-

[FederalBureauFBI 2,881]

:lol: It's your job

[niknik655 2]

:lol: haha

[Dan010721272324 0]

Lolz