Funniest Joke..!

[doughnut2100 763]

Mr. J at a doctors appointment:

Doctor: Good heavens! What a big bump on your head! How did this happen?

Mr. J: Yeah, my girlfriend and I kissed.

Doctor: But a kiss cant do such a big bump!

Mr. J: It does if your wife walks in.

[Latvian_troller 63]

If 9/11 was an inside job, how come the plane was outside?

[shadewarttt 3,350]

How to rob a bank:

 

1) Throw in a bottle of mash

2) Take all the money

3) Profit

 

Proof:

Whadahel did I just watch?

[Scientist 4,224]

If 9/11 was an inside job, how come the plane was outside?

Because the apple is blue.

[BlitzPanzer12345 241]

Whadahel did I just watch?

nonsense

[r_LightningStrike120 8]

Why did the bull charge the millionaire?

The millionaire didn't pay his taxes.

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his bank account.

How do you recharge a dead battery without a battery recharger?

Make the bull angry at the dead battery.

[ExtremeKiller26 443]

Took me a while to get those. Nice ones!

[r_LightningStrike120 8]

To Post #246.

Who's?

[CRIME_GUY 72]

 

By: @Yisroel.Rabin

Good morning ladies and germs (Stupid old joke, but not the oldest the oldest is. . . well you'll know when someone does it on you!), Welcome to the Jokes! Page in the Off-Topic Discussions of Tanki Online the (not so) famous muti-player game! 

In this topic you can share any of your "wonderful" jokes you can come up with! So basically this is a place where you can test your comity skills (if you have any). So, are you up to the challenge of being the funniest guy in the WORLD (of Tanki Online)?! If yuo do just think of a GOOD joke and post down below (in case you didn't know).

:excl: Please note: If you r joke isn't funny. . . well nothing will happen, just people might make fun of you by saying "OHHH! STUPID JOKE!" (well at least I would say that).

Thank you for taking part in this topic and have a good day, or night, or whenever you are reading this!

 

:)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;) 

 

" ohhhh! stupid joke!"

[Manly_man 86]

A mother with an ugly baby walks into a bus. The driver said, "what an ugly baby!". And so the mother sat to the back of the bus and said to a man, "that driver just insulted me!" And the man replied, "go tell him off. I'll hold your monkey for you."

~~~~~

Two men were arrested. One for drinking battery oil, and one for eating explosives. One was charged and the other one got let off.

~~~~~
Your jokes are so funny guys. (<--- That wasn't a joke. It's for real.)

Edited June 30, 2014 by Manly_man

[dionyshs02 64]

a driver says to an old lady in a bus

where are you going?

and the lady says

i'm going to tell

Edited July 1, 2014 by dionyshs02

[dilsharox 2,395]

LAME JOKES

[alex_is_the_best 87]

LAME JOKES

Loll xD

[taz4u 24]

Hey! I can post some... So here we go..

A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...

Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".

Lady: I can't see your computer...

Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.

Lady: How the hell can I click on ur computer from my computer???!!

Help desk: there is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...

Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ??!!! :p ;)

[rasalghayur 30]

Police: where do u live?                                                                                   
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?                                                                            
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?  
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house

 

 

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!

911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning. 

  

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up* 
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?" 
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

 

 

Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*

 

When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. 
I almost died in Finding Nemo.

 

i know sm of em butt forgotthem so i used a site to find the all joke :P

Edited July 19, 2014 by rasalghayur

[rasalghayur 30]

heheh thats all i know

[Latvian_troller 63]

heheh thats all i know

Please use grammar, use capital letters, apostrophes, commas and full stops.

[Lone.Warrior 1,331]

Freeze is weak after update 270 :D

[rasalghayur 30]

Please use grammar, use capital letters, apostrophes, commas and full stops.

o.O yyy its my choice

[Dont_hack_its_bad 17]

Jane: How much do you love me?

Joe: Count the stars.

Jane: Then its INFINITE.

Joe. No, its pointless.

[Dont_hack_its_bad 17]

Bob: Our family sold our sheep for $400.

Rick: Our family just sold our new puppy.

Bob: What did you sell it for?

Rick: For pooping on the floor.

 

 

Think about it...

[Dont_hack_its_bad 17]

Hmmm.... how do i end this one?

 

 

Timmy is at Kindergarten. His teacher asks him to recite the alphabet in front of the class. He says " I dont know the alphabet." The teacher says, learn the alphabet at home then. Timmy is at home now. He asks his mother, "What is the first letter of the alphabet?" His mother, who is talking with a co-worker, replies, 'Shut Up! I'm on the phone!" He goes to his Seven year old brother, who is watching television is very absorbed in the show. Timmy asks his bro, "What is the second letter of the alphabet?" His bro does not notice him. he says " Na na na BATMAN!!!" Timmy moves on to his father, who is teaching his 6 year old sister to do yard work. Timmy asks, "What is the third letter of the alphabet?" his father yells to his daughter, " In the garbage, in the garbage!" Timmy is back to the class the next day. The teacher says, "Okay class, Timmy will recite the alphabet for the class!" Timmy walks up. "Okay, you can start." His teacher says. "Shut Up! Im on the phone!" Timmy says, not suspecting anything. " Go to the principal!" His infuriated teacher yells. He goesTo the office. " What is your name, sonny?" the principal asks. Timmy, who is clueless, says " Na na na BATMAN!!!". " Where do you live?" the prinicpal asks. " In the garbage, in the garbage!"

 

 

 

 

Edited July 21, 2014 by Dont_hack_its_bad

[fighter310 67]

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the noob.

 

*knock knock* - who's there?
 

The chicken.

 

------------------------------

 

3 young men were stranded on an island. One day, they found a wizard. The wizard tells them that he could grant them 3 wishes.

So the first man exclaimed "I want to get out of here!", the other man agreed. So the wizard transported them back home.

 

The 3rd man began crying. The wizard asks him whats wrong and the man said "Can you grant my wish, please?" The wizard said 'Of course'

 

The man said 'I am lonely; I want my friends back'. So the wizard brought them back and left for that was the final wish. Now, stranded on the same island all the men are hopeless.... except for that one man who is glad to have company.

Edited July 20, 2014 by fighter310

[giorgiugulava4211 8]

This is a good one :D must read!!

 

Son: Dad, how much do you love me?

 

Dad: Count the amount of stars in the sky, thats how much I love you :)

 

Son: But its day! There are no stars in daylight.

 

Dad: Thats right!

:D

[00igori02 46]

A man walks into a bar..

 

he gets a concussion.

:3

lol funny :lol: