The worst/best joke you ever heard in TO or IRL

[Nltobh 498]

What is the worst/best joke you ever heard or pick up line..?    (please don't offend any of the members or the mods keep it clean)

 

The worst joke: 

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweet-ment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

 

 

The best joke:

 

knock,knock... 

who's there? 
amos. 
amos who? 
a mosquito.

(not the best xD)

Edited May 13, 2014 by Nltobh

[Mr.SV.ENS 738]

Potato.

[hhgb 2,655]

An atom walks into a store, and asks the cashier: I left an electron here last night.

The cashier asks: are you sure?

The atom replies: I'm positive.

 

(Very good joke to tell a teacher)

Edited May 13, 2014 by hhgb

[Xenophobia 457]

An atom walks into a store, and asks the cashier: I left an electron here last night.

The cashier asks: are you sure?

The atom replies: I'm positive.

 

(Very good joke to tell a teacher)

Nice one :P

[gazatron30 513]

My little sister makes up random knock knock jokes that either don't make a grain of sense or are very embarrassing. There are too many of them to list here :P

Edited May 13, 2014 by gazatron30

[r_CHAMPI0N0 1,129]

"Reda is king" ~Add.ICT.

best joke I ever heard ok

[Eragon 13,876]

Every time I think about jokes I remember joker from batman! Lol

[shadewarttt 3,350]

Yo mama so fat she takes selfies in panaroma mode! (No offence to your parents)

[shadewarttt 3,350]

Its actually a lil' funny.

[Reeco9 1,567]

Biggest TO Joke?

Microupgrades.

[robble56 117]

Acid paint , biggest joke ever

[jordan61 120]

Yo mama so fat she takes selfies in panaroma mode! (No offence to your parents)

your mama so fat that when she walked in front of the tv I missed 7 episodes

[r_Bladje0 2]

:D :P

Edited May 13, 2014 by r_Bladje0

[Faced 375]

When you took a shower. And your mother saw that you took a shower, and then she ask: ''Son, did you took a shower?''

 

You: ''No mom, it's raining in the shower! ''

[Eragon 13,876]

 

 

 

 

 

 

your mama so fat that when she walked in front of the tv I missed 7 episodes

Lol. But it's rude. In my opinion you hurt his feelings.

 

 

 

All jokes are rude. A joke is a phrase or something that offends a person. Who makes the joke laughs and likes it. But the person who is joked on, is more like someone laughed on. This may lead to rudeness. If the person who is laughed on likes it then it ok. But mostly jokes are spoken without meaning and it sometimes offends a person.

 

 

 

your mama so fat that when she walked in front of the tv I missed 7 episodes

 

Your joke was funny. But it is a offence to the parents(I don't think they would like it, or laugh on it xD.)

 

So for the future try not to insult, laugh or joke on directly. This may lead to argument, anger, sadness, and insulting.

 

 

Thank you. :)

[jordan61 120]

Lol. But it's rude. In my opinion you hurt his feelings.

 

 

 

All jokes are rude. A joke is a phrase or something that offends a person. Who makes the joke laughs and likes it. But the person who is joked on, is more like someone laughed on. This may lead to rudeness. If the person who is laughed on likes it then it ok. But mostly jokes are spoken without meaning and it sometimes offends a person.

 

 

 

 

Your joke was funny. But it is a offence to the parents(I don't think they would like it, or laugh on it xD.)

 

So for the future try not to insult, laugh or joke on directly. This may lead to argument, anger, sadness, and insulting.

 

 

Thank you. :)its just a joke DIRECTED TO NO one dude

Edited May 14, 2014 by jordan61

[Nltobh 498]

 

Lol. But it's rude. In my opinion you hurt his feelings.

 

 

 

All jokes are rude. A joke is a phrase or something that offends a person. Who makes the joke laughs and likes it. But the person who is joked on, is more like someone laughed on. This may lead to rudeness. If the person who is laughed on likes it then it ok. But mostly jokes are spoken without meaning and it sometimes offends a person.

 

 

 

 

Your joke was funny. But it is a offence to the parents(I don't think they would like it, or laugh on it xD.)

 

So for the future try not to insult, laugh or joke on directly. This may lead to argument, anger, sadness, and insulting.

 

 

Thank you. :)its just a joke DIRECTED TO NO one dude

 

some jokes are not intended to offed anyone unless you put them into it or offend them directly weather its their family or him

[Endurance 543]

~Deleted

Edited May 15, 2014 by Endurance

[HirunMeepage 763]

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.

[Nltobh 498]

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.

LOL i head that so many times before

[jokersus.cava 1,503]

Best joke is JOKErsus.cava

[ariking777 940]

^ :lol:

Best joke I'd ever heard:

A lawyer get's a new office. His friend says he'll send him a Bouquet of Flowers.
A few days go by and no Flowers!
One day he get's a Bouquet of Flowers with a blessing: "My condolences!"
He calls his friend angrily, but his friend tells him to call the Flower Company.
He calls the Flower Company, and they say: "You don't know what problems we have! A family that went to a Funeral of one of their relatives, and got a Bouquet of Flowers with a blessing 'Congratulations on the new place!"
If you didn't understand it's just that the dead person that goes into a grave get's a blessing "Congratulations on the new place", that's the grave. :D
 

[Nltobh 498]

^ :lol:

Best joke I'd ever heard:

A lawyer get's a new office. His friend says he'll send him a Bouquet of Flowers.

A few days go by and no Flowers!

One day he get's a Bouquet of Flowers with a blessing: "My condolences!"

He calls his friend angrily, but his friend tells him to call the Flower Company.

He calls the Flower Company, and they say: "You don't know what problems we have! A family that went to a Funeral of one of their relatives, and got a Bouquet of Flowers with a blessing 'Congratulations on the new place!"

If you didn't understand it's just that the dead person that goes into a grave get's a blessing "Congratulations on the new place", that's the grave. :D

 

LOL what a mix up xD

[Eragon 13,876]

^ :lol:

Best joke I'd ever heard:

A lawyer get's a new office. His friend says he'll send him a Bouquet of Flowers.

A few days go by and no Flowers!

One day he get's a Bouquet of Flowers with a blessing: "My condolences!"

He calls his friend angrily, but his friend tells him to call the Flower Company.

He calls the Flower Company, and they say: "You don't know what problems we have! A family that went to a Funeral of one of their relatives, and got a Bouquet of Flowers with a blessing 'Congratulations on the new place!"

If you didn't understand it's just that the dead person that goes into a grave get's a blessing "Congratulations on the new place", that's the grave. :D

 

I am confused  :unsure:

[Remaine 4,687]

 A joke is a phrase or something that offends a person. 

Wrong. A joke is something that someone says to cause amusement or laughter; it doesn't always have to be negative. You've misconstrued the meaning.