THE INTRUDERS

[liverpoolaum 811]

                                                                THE INTRUDERS    

                                                               

                                                                     PART-ONE

 

2142,Berlin,Germany

12 pm

 

It was mid-night, the city of Berlin slept. Almost every guard  slept. Wind breathed the cool night freshness. The moon silence was maintained until an alarm broke the silence. The guards woke. The shaft's lasers beaming all-over the dark city. The rail gunners were deployed. All were ordered to use mammoth. Still no one was found. The protective cameras were turned-on. The radar couldn't show any object but still the alarm breaking the silence. 

 

Semyon kirov, was sleeping in his home. Not at all disturbed by this alarm. There came a strange knock. He went to open the door. Then suddenly he saw many of his generals waiting outside for him.

 

"Sir, our alarm system is ringing but the radar not even showing a single thing" says  Hazel-rah.

"Order the tankers to loiter in the city, so that they can get a clue or may see anything suspicious"says semyon

"ok sir, we are making a full arrangements for a war"says Hazel-rah.

 

The shafters and rail gunners pointlessly aimed the objects. The freezing cold snow blurred the shafts vision. The firebirds were deployed to clear off the snow. There came a sudden noise that made the tankmen terror struck. The shafts gleaming at the dark streets of Berlin. They are in a high mood to protect the data which is needed to make this tank's. 

 

Everyone heard thunderstorms, soon it began to rain. Still couldn't seem to find even a single thing on the street. No one have any clear about it. All making their move carefully. All those strange noise made all to hold their nerve. Now the tankers are hearing the sweet dropping from then. 

 

Wasp with its quick movements just made a glance of the cursed city of Berlin. Every one was far away from the "Hall of Fame" which contains the data needed for the making of the tanks. Still no was bothered of it. 

 

After 25 years of the fall of Berlin wall, for some security reason it was allowed to touch the ground to stop people from entering here. Far away some unknown night hawking creatures watched tankers in a way to siege the city and steal the data. 

                                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~

Meantime the tankers were on search for any intruders and expecting a siege. Totally forgot about protecting the "Hall of Fame" except with few tankmen guarding it. Exactly the situation the intruders expected happened.

 

                                                             END OF PART ONE

 

[BlitzPanzer12345 241]

copying pratyush's idea ha ?

:lol:

good , by the way

Edited March 20, 2015 by BlitzPanzer12345

[lukey0 27,543]

Nice. 

[liverpoolaum 811]

 

copying pratyush's idea ha ?

:lol:

good , by the way

not copying he only told me to write this story

 

 

Nice.

thnx

[BlitzPanzer12345 241]

not copying he only told me to write this story 

awesome

:P

[liverpoolaum 811]

awesome

:P

thnx

[GhostTanki_GTI 215]

Nice!!!!

[liverpoolaum 811]

Nice!!!!

thnx

[deadtoyou 2,502]

Nice! How about you post this in Your Creativity next time? ;)

[liverpoolaum 811]

Nice! How about you post this in Your Creativity next time? ;)

maybe but don't have not enough creativity on my part maybe i develop in future and thnx

[Kevred 1,586]

Bit too short?

[P_E_R_S_I_A_N 246]

very nice man 

[liverpoolaum 811]

 

Bit too short?

maybe out of ideas so maybe its next part i will try

 

 

very nice man

thnx

[boppyeric 30]

Not to be a hater but for further improvement look into the way you use your grammar. You have potential but right now, it's not enough.

[P_E_R_S_I_A_N 246]

thnx

when its next part coming

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

THE INTRUDERS    

                                                               

                                                                     PART-ONE

 

 

 

2142,Berlin,Germany

12 pm

 

It was mid-night, the city of Berlin slept. Almost every guard  slept. Wind breathed the cool night freshness. The moon silence was maintained until an alarm broke the silence. The guards woke. The shaft's lasers beaming all-over the dark city. The rail gunners were deployed. All were ordered to use mammoth. Still no one was found. The protective cameras were turned-on. The radar couldn't show any object but still the alarm breaking the silence. 

 

Semyon kirov, was sleeping in his home. Not at all disturbed by this alarm. There came a strange knock. He went to open the door. Then suddenly he saw many of his generals waiting outside for him.

 

"Sir, our alarm system is ringing but the radar not even showing a single thing" says  Hazel-rah.

"Order the tankers to loiter in the city, so that they can get a clue or may see anything suspicious"says semyon

"ok sir, we are making a full arrangements for a war"says Hazel-rah.

 

The shafters and rail gunners pointlessly aimed the objects. The freezing cold snow blurred the shafts vision. The firebirds were deployed to clear off the snow. There came a sudden noise that made the tankmen terror struck. The shafts gleaming at the dark streets of Berlin. They are in a high mood to protect the data which is needed to make this tank's. 

 

Everyone heard thunderstorms, soon it began to rain. Still couldn't seem to find even a single thing on the street. No one have any clear about it. All making their move carefully. All those strange noise made all to hold their nerve. Now the tankers are hearing the sweet dropping from then. 

 

Wasp with its quick movements just made a glance of the cursed city of Berlin. Every one was far away from the "Hall of Fame" which contains the data needed for the making of the tanks. Still no was bothered of it. 

 

After 25 years of the fall of Berlin wall, for some security reason it was allowed to touch the ground to stop people from entering here. Far away some unknown night hawking creatures watched tankers in a way to siege the city and steal the data. 

                                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~

Meantime the tankers were on search for any intruders and expecting a siege. Totally forgot about protecting the "Hall of Fame" except with few tankmen guarding it. Exactly the situation the intruders expected happened.

 

                                                             END OF PART ONE

 

 

I like your story ;)

[jazz20 1,181]

Nice work :)

[0TT0MAN.EMPIRE 49]

It is good...But there are MANY punctuation errors and almost all sentences are fragments...just trying to help  

[liverpoolaum 811]

I like your story ;)

thnx

[liverpoolaum 811]

Nice work :)

thnx

[liverpoolaum 811]

It is good...But there are MANY punctuation errors and almost all sentences are fragments...just trying to help  

there maybe mistakes din't check for all these things