[Issue 2][Story]Death Day in Barda Pt. 1[UN]

[tony990_Superstar 68]

DEATH DAY IN BARDA (PART 1/2)

--Written by tony990_Superstar--

There was once an island in the Caribbean that no human alive has ever lived to see named Barda. This island was made up of one city, also named Barda. In this desolate island lay the famous Gordon Basar, but at the time this story takes place he is not famous yet.

Every four years in Barda, every resident would line up on the eastern side of the high council’s building. Though the country of Barda was extremely nice to its residents, this was the one day that nobody would want to be a part of. It was the day that two unlucky residents would be killed due to overpopulation in the country.

A few years back, the High Council decided that there would be one day every four years that to solve their overpopulation problem they would hold an execution, in which the two members who have done the least work for the country would be the ones to be executed.

And this year it didn’t look so well for Gordon. Gordon worked for the military of Barda to make supplies for them, and this year he had only created three Double Powers and one Double Armor. The rest of the time he had spent at home, lazily watching his favorite Star Series team All In almost every time they were on. At work, he would fool around and would be talking to people when he should have been working. He was in deep trouble this year for all of his actions, or rather inactions, of the previous four years since the last execution.

This execution solved two problems for the country of Barda: first, everyone would want to work as hard as they could to stay alive and second, there would be no such thing as overpopulation in Barda.

The day of the execution in the Bardian year of 236, which in our time is this current year, was on August 4. You may recognize this as another day in which a terrorist group in Germany took out a famous girl who had owned a diary, but I will not discuss in detail the key events of that day, as it was in the cruelest of times in the country of Germany.

Gordon woke up on August 4, 236 at 9:30AM, and took his good old time showering and getting ready for the day. He looked outside his bedroom window a little later, and when he saw the people marching down the street, fear flashed through his eyes. He had completely forgotten about the executions that day. He immediately rushed out of his house in his red paint, wasp hull and smoky turret. Everybody around him looked at him with disgust. They as well knew that Gordon would be called that day.

When they had all lined up on the side of the High Council building (the Capitol Building), the four highest guards in the railgun, mammoth and jaguar paint combination were waiting patiently for the names of the two people to be executed that day to be called.

The leader of the High Council, the so-called King of Barda, came out of the Capitol Building. In affection, the tanks spun their turrets around twice, and the King began to make his speech that he does every execution day.

“236 years ago today, the country of Barda was born,” the King started. “84 years ago today, the first two citizens of Barda were executed. Over the years we have executed 40 citizens of Barda that had done almost nothing at all for the country. After today that number will climb to be at 42 when the next two citizens that have done nothing to help the country will be executed.

“Without further ado, here are the two citizens that will be executed on the bridge today.”

The King took out an index card and place it on the front of his hull. He put his reader mode on, which was a glass panel that slid up from the front of his tank, and prepared to read the names of the two misfortunate tanks that would be executed that day for doing nothing.

The King opened his mouth to speak and loudly said, “Peter Milligan.”

A young tank dressed in black paint, a Vulcan turret and a hornet hull moved into the aisle to the bridge that would symbolize his death. People called him the Anarchist of Barda. He planted himself on the edge facing the wall and waited for the second name to be called before he would be shot to his death.

 

The King glanced over and read why he had been selected to be executed. “Peter had been rejected twice to join the Semi Series team of Nirvana and three times rejected to join Oasis, another Semi Series team. He had tried so many times to join without practicing and mostly just stayed at home and watched Star Series all day, not doing the commentary but merely listening to it. Peter has done nothing at all to help this country.”

Gordon thought, “what if there was somebody else who did less work than me? Maybe I could get to live another four years!” The King prepared to read the next notecard, and as he did so Gordon filled with hope.

“Our next citizen to be executed today will be Gordon Basar.”

Gordon’s heart sank. He would face his last breath today. People watched as he drove up to the edge of the bridge, facing the wall.

 

 

The King read the rest of Gordon’s notecard, which was almost identical to the description I had made out of Gordon at the beginning of this story.

"Peter will now be executed.”

The four guards moves slowly toward the bridge in their railguns, moving in a single-file line. It took over a minute for them to position themselves with their turrets all facing Peter.

A chamber opened underneath the bridge. This chamber contained the rest of the executed tanks. The smell struck Gordon of the rotting tanks, and he wished he could be anywhere else right then. The executions, he decided, weren’t just for the killing but for the torture too.

The railguns beams lit up, synchronized with each other. Peter attempted one final shot, but his Vulcan couldn’t set up in time. With a blast, Peter was destroyed, and his destroyed tank fell into the chamber.

“Gordon will now be executed,” announced the king, and even though it was forbidden to shoot at a wall with a smoky, Gordon did it anyway. The King gave him a stern look as the guards closed in on Gordon.

The fumes from the chamber were irritating Gordon now. He could not bare it much longer. He wished, for the first time in his life, that the guards would just execute him.

The guards’ railguns’ beams lit up.

Edited June 7, 2015 by tony990_Superstar

[dilsharox 2,395]

boring

[tony990_Superstar 68]

boring

Um...you were already warned

Edited June 7, 2015 by tony990_Superstar

[canadarules 1,938]

I can tell what you are doing...again...

 

Hint:

 

 

everyone reserves the right to have their own opinion on the forum

anyways it is too long and when i read too long a story i fall asleep -_-

[tony990_Superstar 68]

everyone reserves the right to have their own opinion on the forum

anyways it is too long and when i read too long a story i fall asleep -_-

Sorry for boring you with showing you what real literature is.

 

I deleted that post for a reason.

 

And he isn't stating his opinion just for the heck of stating his opinion, he's trying to keep an argument going after moderators have already warned both him and me about arguing.

 

I will remain silent.

[canadarules 1,938]

I will remain silent.

growing up good to see :)

[tony990_Superstar 68]

growing up good to see :)

 

 

Edited June 7, 2015 by tony990_Superstar

[canadarules 1,938]

thank you for helping me out on this or this will kid will never stop

how about you stop aggravating him and leave him alone -________-

[OscarWatkins 64]

 Loved the way you expressed it, but the content wasn't interesting. 

[tony990_Superstar 68]

Loved the way you expressed it, but the content wasn't interesting.

 

Trust me, Part II is better than Part I. I've already started on the follow-up series as well.

[Maf 32,305]

Opened.

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

I was crying for no reason -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_-

[tony990_Superstar 68]

I was crying for no reason -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_-

Is that a good thing or bad thing lol

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

fairly good, though you copied that last sentence from my editorial article :P

[tony990_Superstar 68]

fairly good, though you copied that last sentence from my editorial article :P

I did? Whoops lol I'll fix it when I get home today.

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

I did? Whoops lol I'll fix it when I get home today.

See the PM I sent you

[r_priyangshu0 270]

In all honesty, it's just too predictable to be thrilling, and I didn't twitch a finger in a 'supposedly' sad and thrilling story.

[Kevred 1,586]

In all honesty, it's just too predictable to be thrilling, and I didn't twitch a finger in a 'supposedly' sad and thrilling story.

+++

 

And there's so much resemblances with the Hunger Games.

[tony990_Superstar 68]

In all honesty, it's just too predictable to be thrilling, and I didn't twitch a finger in a 'supposedly' sad and thrilling story.

 

+++

 

And there's so much resemblances with the Hunger Games.

No, there's only one: two people selected. Except Part II is different than Part I.

[Kevred 1,586]

No, there's only one: two people selected. Except Part II is different than Part I.

2 ppl selected, Capitol, High Council Building, one person calling out the names and giving a speech, the two ppl selected basically being executed in the Hunger Games anyways, etc etc.

 

You probably didn't copy it on purpose and just added those Hunger Game resemblances subconsciously, but during your review of the story's rough draft you should pay attention to them.

[tony990_Superstar 68]

2 ppl selected, Capitol, High Council Building, one person calling out the names and giving a speech, the two ppl selected basically being executed in the Hunger Games anyways, etc etc.

 

You probably didn't copy it on purpose and just added those Hunger Game resemblances subconsciously, but during your review of the story's rough draft you should pay attention to them.

lol I haven't even seen the Hunger Games nor read the book anyway, so...I didn't know there was a High Council building there or a Capitol.

[Kevred 1,586]

lol I haven't even seen the Hunger Games nor read the book anyway, so...I didn't know there was a High Council building there or a Capitol.

If you haven't seen it, then....how'd you know there was 2 ppl selected? And no, don't tell me that "everyone knows that", because "Capitol is as iconic as "2 people selected".

[tony990_Superstar 68]

If you haven't seen it, then....how'd you know there was 2 ppl selected? And no, don't tell me that "everyone knows that", because "Capitol is as iconic as "2 people selected".

Because people in my school talked about some Peter guy and another person getting "selected."

 

By the way, it's not really a Capitol, it's just a country with one city that is the ONLY city, therefore must be the capitol

[tony990_Superstar 68]

Instead of doing this you should write better stories.  I think once you get a little older you will learn to write better.  (wait like 2 years until you're 13)

 

I hope to take this advice into consideration as you are a great kid with a bright Tanki future!  I have already seen some of your sweet commentaries and you edit well.  My favorite edit you do every video which is you add a chipmunk voice to yourself lol.  Keep up the good work!

 

EDIT @Kevred

 

He hasn't seen Hunger Games because it's PG13.

You're trying to be a wise guy again. I'm 14, and anybody like you who acts less mature than what you think is an 11 year old is bound to actually BE younger than an 11 year old.

 

Why don't you stop trying to be a wise guy and get a life?

[tony990_Superstar 68]

"Reported for flame"

- @tony990_Superstar

ME?

 

You're the one that started this. You're trying to be a wise guy by calling me young. I'm 14, and you're probably the 12 year old.