How to Write Well, on Tanki and Elsewhere

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

I get private messages like this all the time.

 

“CHRYSALIS OMIGOSH YOUR SO GOOD AT WRITING!  I JUST LOVE YOUR ARTICLES SO CAN YOU TEACH ME? CUZ I RELY WAN TO BE A WRITER FOR TANKI YOU NOW?”

 

Sigh.

 

First, turn the caps lock off.  Your message isn’t more endearing just because you scream every word.

 

Second, please don’t call me Chrysalis.  Chrysalis was my mother, hence the name SONofchrysalis.  If I could change my username to sonofcelestia, since Celestia is my mother now, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Why I ever named my account after Chrysalis, I’ll never know.  And my name is Stratus, by the way.

 

Third, I can tell you want to write, and you want to write well.  I feel for you, buddy.  You have the drive and the desire to create a written work of art that will be adored by scores of readers.  Same here.

 

But I can also tell by the things you have written that you’ll never make it as you are.  You have some serious changes to make.

 

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not belittling you and your attempts at good writing.  The mistakes I’m about to list are ones I’ve made myself many times.  They hinder your writings, making it looking like you have exactly zilch idea of what you’re doing.  They also develop a mental image of you in the mind of your readers, and if you don’t correct these mistakes, that mental image will evolve into something the reader will never be able to take seriously, no matter how hard you try.

 

1.)    Good writing is 80% topic.

 

If you want to put a topic on Tanki, avoid the usual bulk stuff, like “How Long Do You Take in the Shower?”, “Post your Puppy Pictures Here!”, and “Where are You Most Ticklish?”

 

Okay, maybe that last one would be fine, but my point is that the forum is full of topics that really don’t serve a purpose.  The Off-Topic Rules page that Semyon wrote asks that you consider whether or not your topic will benefit the community.  I doubt that “Which Celebrity Do You Think Is Better at Tennis?” would benefit anypony.  You want to be unique, and write something unique?  Then write something useful.  A useful topic is a rare commodity.

 

Although I am discouraging it in large amounts, I’m not saying you can’t ever post something pointless yet fun.  I’m honestly considering putting Pinkie’s hilarious collection of “Blah Blah Blah” stories in here.  Want to know more about that?  Let me know in the reply section, and I’ll see if she wouldn’t mind injecting a little Blah into your day.

 

2.)  The other 20% is pencil-scratching.

 

How you write is as important as what you write.  You can put the most earth-shattering material in history on paper, but if you put it there in a way that is distracting, you’ll get nowhere.

 

I often cringe when I read something an exuberant tanker asked me to read, saying he used it as a writing example in his application to be a Tanki Reporter.  What I read is often very, very messy.  I can tell that he has something to say, but what exactly that something is defies my ability to interpret the sloppy way in which he writes.  Honestly, my friend Chocolate Cherry’s little brother writes better than some of the stuff I get asked to read.  And he hasn’t even been born yet!

 

If you wan to rite somethingg, trie to show that u wernt raisd in a barn.  Dont miss the apostrophe in the contractions youre using.  Stp chpng yr wrds lk this is a txt msg.  Abbrev. like LOL are extrm. unnec. and look really uned.

 

DAOOWNT THPELL LOYK A CUMPLOYT DOOFUTH!  GETT DA PEKSHURE?!

 

 

I know you can write well if you try.  Tanki is looking for good writers who generate quality material that they will be proud to publish.  The rest of the universe is looking for them, too.  Good writers are a vanishing breed, both in your world and in mine.

 

Writers and the pens they wield have shaped history like no warrior wielding a sword could ever hope to.  You can join the lauded ranks of the extraordinary minds that move our civilizations forward.

 

You just need to quit writing like you’re three years old.

 

Not hatin’, just sayin’.

Edited January 29, 2016 by sonofchrysalis3

[NaVi.markeloff 365]

I guess ur a random player, what articles was he talkin about? ._.

[NaVi.markeloff 365]

And if you want to write something useful avoid shortcuts like it's isn't sayin' hatin' thats not how moderators and serious people talk. Try instead it is, it is not, saying, hating, going to instead of gotta, you are instead of you're

Edited July 5, 2015 by NaVi.markeloff

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

“Where are You Most Ticklish?”

Dumbest question to ask in forum -_-

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

@Llabrador -->

 

I believe that was the entire point of the article!  Writing like a sillyhead makes you look silly.

 

And, since I always like to end my stuff with a bang, I thought I'd make a point by breaking my rule in the last sentence of my article.

[NaVi.markeloff 365]

@Llabrador -->

 

I believe that was the entire point of the article!  Writing like a sillyhead makes you look silly.

 

And, since I always like to end my stuff with a bang, I thought I'd make a point by breaking my rule in the last sentence of my article.

Can you tell what article are you talking about?? Are you a newspapermoderator or just a random guy posting random topics with random subjects?

[joe2vega 1,259]

I get private messages like this all the time.

 

“CHRYSALIS OMIGOSH YOUR SO GOOD AT WRITING!  I JUST LOVE YOUR ARTICLES SO CAN YOU TEACH ME? CUZ I RELY WAN TO BE A WRITER FOR TANKI YOU NOW?”

 

Sigh.

 

First, turn the caps lock off.  Your message isn’t more endearing just because you scream every word.

 

Second, please don’t call me Chrysalis.  Chrysalis was my mother, hence the name SONofchrysalis.  If I could change my username to sonofcelestia, since Celestia is my mother now, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Why I ever named my account after Chrysalis, I’ll never know.  And my name is Stratus, by the way.

 

Third, I can tell you want to write, and you want to write well.  I feel for you, buddy.  You have the drive and the desire to create a written work of art that will be adored by scores of readers.  Same here.

 

But I can also tell by the things you have written that you’ll never make it as you are.  You have some serious changes to make.

 

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not belittling you and your attempts at good writing.  The mistakes I’m about to list are ones I’ve made myself many times.  They hinder your writings, making it looking like you have exactly zilch idea of what you’re doing.  They also develop a mental image of you in the mind of your readers, and if you don’t correct these mistakes, that mental image will evolve into something the reader will never be able to take seriously, no matter how hard you try.

 

1.)    Good writing is 80% topic.

 

If you want to put a topic on Tanki, avoid the usual bulk stuff, like “How Long Do You Take in the Shower?”, “Post your Puppy Pictures Here!”, and “Where are You Most Ticklish?”

 

Okay, maybe that last one would be fine, but my point is that the forum is full of topics that really don’t serve a purpose.  The Off-Topic Rules page that Seymon wrote asks that you consider whether or not your topic will benefit the community.  I doubt that “Which Celebrity Do You Think Is Better at Tennis?” would benefit anypony.  You want to be unique, and write something unique?  Then write something useful.  A useful topic is a rare commodity.

 

Although I am discouraging it in large amounts, I’m not saying you can’t ever post something pointless yet fun.  I’m honestly considering putting Pinkie’s hilarious collection of “Blah Blah Blah” stories in here.  Want to know more about that?  Let me know in the reply section, and I’ll see if she wouldn’t mind injecting a little Blah into your day.

 

2.)  The other 20% is pencil-scratching.

 

How you write is as important as what you write.  You can put the most earth-shattering material in history on paper, but if you put it there in a way that is distracting, you’ll get nowhere.

 

I often cringe when I read something an exuberant tanker asked me to read, saying he used it as a writing example in his application to be a Tanki Reporter.  What I read is often very, very messy.  I can tell that he has something to say, but what exactly that something is defies my ability to interpret the sloppy way in which he writes.  Honestly, my friend Chocolate Cherry’s little brother writes better than some of the stuff I get asked to read.  And he hasn’t even been born yet!

 

If you wan to rite somethingg, trie to show that u wernt raisd in a barn.  Dont miss the apostrophe in the contractions youre using.  Stp chpng yr wrds lk this is a txt msg.  Abbrev. like LOL are extrm. unnec. and look really uned.

 

DAOOWNT THPELL LOYK A CUMPLOYT DOOFUTH!  GETT DA PEKSHURE?!

 

 

I know you can write well if you try.  Tanki is looking for good writers who generate quality material that they will be proud to publish.  The rest of the universe is looking for them, too.  Good writers are a vanishing breed, both in your world and in mine.

 

Writers and the pens they wield have shaped history like no warrior wielding a sword could ever hope to.  You can join the lauded ranks of the extraordinary minds that move our civilizations forward.

 

You just need to quit writing like you’re three years old.

 

Not hatin’, just sayin’.

Edited July 5, 2015 by falcosenna1
added spoiler

[dilsharox 2,395]

lol

[genak138 950]

Second, please don’t call me Chrysalis.  Chrysalis was my mother, hence the name SONofchrysalis.  If I could change my username to sonofcelestia, since Celestia is my mother now, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Why I ever named my account after Chrysalis, I’ll never know.  And my name is Stratus, by the way.

:lol:

[falcosenna1 8,320]

Can you tell what article are you talking about?? Are you a newspapermoderator or just a random guy posting random topics with random subjects?

Scroll through the topics in Off-Topics Discussion. You'll find some of his well written articles. ;)

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

Or just click on my name, bring up my profile, and voila, you have everything I have written.

 

What language is "voila" exactly?  We only have a few languages here, and voila isn't originally in any of them.

 

Never mind, I don't really care.  It's a good word.

[BlazingCoder 108]

You don't post those kind of comments man.

[GoldRock 6,165]

This has got to be one of my favourite pieces from you so far... Should be an essential read for anyone and everyone thinking about applying for the Reporter position, or just looking to improve their writing in general. Great mixture of advice, contemplation and humour, and I especially liked the way you concluded it. An excellent article!

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

This has got to be one of my favourite pieces from you so far... Should be an essential read for anyone and everyone thinking about applying for the Reporter position, or just looking to improve their writing in general. Great mixture of advice, contemplation and humour, and I especially liked the way you concluded it. An excellent article!

whoa that's a cool complement

maybe you should start the TWC

[Remaine 4,687]

whoa that's a cool complement

maybe you should start the TWC

Do you think about what you're saying before you say it?

[The.Skilled.Legend 1,459]

Well said mate

[PetertheGeniusGamer 74]

*cough* *cough* I think reporters are more popular now.

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

Do you think about what you're saying before you say it?

lag problems -_- I didn't say that but the lag added it (and my dad didn't fix my pc yet -_- :angry:)

[FaaiqBilal1 795]

 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kden

[Eragon 13,876]

I actually enjoyed reading it, not like other articles from other players  :ph34r:   Impressed  :D

[NewbieCake 3,067]

Nice job!

[drazeruzumaki 5,021]

nice. we want more writers like u :P

[PenguinNEWexp 11]

What about stories and guides?

[Remaine 4,687]

I didn't say that but the lag added it (and my dad didn't fix my pc yet -_- :angry:)

By far the worst excuse I've ever heard. You really mean to tell me the lag added it?

Edited July 6, 2015 by Remaine

[CTaen 214]

lol every where you find haters

 

Ignore them as they are idotic stupid

 

As again keep up the good work Stratus :)