[Issue 42] [Contest] Help Needed: Occupations for the Unemployed

[danstar48 18]

trader 

tanki chat pvt, ltd

hello tankers ! do you hate youe acc or dont have enough courage to rank fast ..if yes than you are at right place Join our tanki trading company to trade your acc with others ...the job is quite simple all you have to do is just open tanki chat and ask our other workers who want to trade accs? and do scam with them ... but you must be aware of snipers they will kill your messenger in mos cases you can hire another messenger in short time but some times you cant hire anyone Good luck

pay : many accs/day

 

word count : 100

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

Job: Zookeeper

Location: Near Dusseldorf, Sandbox (when you take the whole zoo in Dusseldorf, where it's the land of dwarfs like "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", & stuff it in the sandbox thing that babies, infants, toddlers and little kids play in)

Zip Code: 666

 

WAIT a minute!!

:o

 

 

 

Want a job? Well you have came to the right place, people! Here, you need to feed the mammoths five times a day and they poop mines so if they bust out and poop everywhere, well, it'll become a gravemineyard. Also if you're a smoker, I'll feel sorry for ya because the mosquitoes will rob you of it (yes, nasty and they get to do that, wth?!)... Vikings and Titans feed on tasty BBQ smokies with Hornet legs so keep the Hornets from them plz. Don't mess with Wasp XT: it'll eat you like chicken or mind-control the whole zoo.

 

word count: 100

P.S. the first spoiler is a part of the title

 

Edited October 20, 2015 by BlueDragon_tamki

[Jboymark53 508]

Job: Zoo Keeper 

Location: The Berlin Town Zoo, it's over the hill, through the valley, and over the bridges.  

 

Description: You must make sure the Mammoth and the wasps have food, paint the design "Raccoon" around the raccoon's cages, also feed the mosquito's larva, give the Rhino food, clean all the big cat's (the jaguar and the tiger) cages, and don't forget to make sure the Python's cage is locked. And lastly, Set up the display of hunters and vikings and your days shift is over. We offer a large pay and lots of benefits, so apply now!

 

98 words, and i used map and paint names in there if you didn't notice :P

[AwesomeNeo920 0]

Zoo Keeper

Polygon CTF Zoo of the Mammoths! 

 

     Tired of seeing unqualified employees working at the zoo, where you can do a billion times better? Well park you tank right here and keep reading. We are having a problem with our Genetically Modified Mammoths (GMM), especially the M4 Mammoths. We want someone to keep our mammoths clean, and to keep it from steamrolling our Wasps and Hornet Nests next door. Also, you must be qualified to walk these monsters everyday and not to get squished like that last guy. Show us how a REAL zookeeper keeps this zoo in business!  ;) 

[AIways-Legend 2]

Tour Operator

Location in Illinois,USA

 

Tour operator typically combines tour and travel components to create a holiday. They prepare itinerary. The most common example of a tour operator's product would be a flight on a charter airline plus a transfer from the airport to a hotel and the services of a local representative, all for one price. tour operators may in destinations activities and experiences, skiing, or a combination thereof. However, tour operators still have their competence in arranging tours for those who do not have time to do DIY holidays, and specialize in large group events and meetings such as conferences or seminars.

[replitaz_2 1]

ZOO KEEPER

Tanki Online

 

I was driving around in my mammoth one day and I noticed that one of the wasps had escaped from its pen! The pens are supposed to be tank proof you know, but a wasp can go flying when shot by an m3 hammer... anyway, me being a mammoth and everything, I wasn't very fast. I thought to myself, man, this is going to be difficult, catching a small, light, and fast tank with my big slow one. I got 5k crystals for catching it, but it would be way to hard. I changed the mission. What an easy job! :D

 

100 Words Exactly

[wmswms111 0]

Do you love dangerous jobs? Then Tankanimals zookeeper is the job for you! First, you need to keep watch over the mammoths. These are large dangerous beasts, and you made to use a guardian for extra help. Next, you need to let the titans roam the fields, and yes, beware of the dictator, he loves to steal their golden nuggets. Also, make sure to keep the hunters and vikings separated, as they frequently clash. Finally, check on the fast insects, mostly hornets and wasps, but there are some mosquitoes, and hornets have a stinger, so watch out! Apply if ready!

 

100 words

[skystar0321 11]

Tour Operator

World Of The Noobs, Hackers and Professionals

I am the tour operator(For sometime :D)

Today I will show you the world of Noobs, Hackers and Professionals.

Lets start,

                 Everyone get on the cart to go through the worlds and don't forget to fasten your seat-belts. 

Firstly, 

           The worlds of Noobs. They just give the points to the enemy by getting killed.

Secondly,

           The world of Hackers. The developers are trying to stop hackers but they don't stop and have got reload hack.

Last,

        The world of Professions. They are the real players of Tanki. That everyone Loves

_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._  99 words 608 characters  with headings

[KHIZER_GT 1]

i want to be the emmployed

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

i want to be the emmployed

what

[rtey31 51]

Trader

Battle Chats

 

Due to the increasing number of players complaining about the lack of discounts, your job is to trade crystals to players (using a "hack", of course) in exchange for account passwords. Must be willing to argue for weeks in the forum against players who have reported them. No knowledge of hacking is required. English is also optional. Training is simple: you must learn the sentences "who wants 10000000000 cry" and "then give me your password". Pay is possibly above minimum wage, but it's probably not.

 

88 words.

 

Good luck everyone!

[rtey31 51]

Has anyone noticed that only one or two people have done social activist? Also, zookeeper seems to be the most popular job.

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

Has anyone noticed that only one or two people have done social activist? Also, zookeeper seems to be the most popular job.

nope didn't notice that :blink: :o

[rtey31 51]

 Trader

Monte Carlo

 

Must be a thief-like fellow who can fire constant deals at victims customers before finishing off with a devastating critical offer. Kill-stealing  smokies are certainly encouraged. NO railguns; they are too slow-witted and you can see their massive, overpriced proposal before they announce it. Thunders may be considered for targeting crowds of buyers. Worker must outwit the cunning gamblers of Monte Carlo casinos, who are used to being cheated. Wage is 40% of your profit (NEVER demand 50%, or sonofchyrsalis3 will explain why in heart-wrenching story format). Items to sell include the product kit combining Hogree's upcoming biography with chicken.    

 

100 words exactly, without the title or location.

Thanks immensely to TriNitroToluene for patiently yet swiftly answering my questions!

Ooh, nice! This has to get something

[Aditya15723 125]

Job type : Zoo keeper

Job location : Well,The Tanki Zoo?

So,let's start: First of all I'll have to say,to join you'll have to look at those mighty (and small) creatures ON YOUR OWN.This may be a little scary,but this is what it is to be a zoo keeper.Youll have to look for those mammoths or they may kill those wasps.And yeah,never mix hornets with Titans.They have a lot of bad blood between them.Youll have to try petting the Viking tho,it goes in rage when some one unknown is near.You ready? Apply for the job! It won't be easy tho :P good luck!

 

~ 99 words

May I win

[dunes555 368]

Ooh, nice! This has to get something

Thank you! It's very nice to receive positive feedback!

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

i want to be the emmployed

See the contest rules, please. You are the ones creating the jobs, not applying for them ;)

[romiookhan_awesome 96]

Job Name: Zookeeper

Job Location: Unlucky Zoo, near Injured People's Hospital

 

A few days ago, a zookeeper had forgotten to close the gates of his zoo and this eventually led to the running away of animals who injured the zookeeper who is currently having rest in the hospital near the zoo. He is the 5th zookeeper who got injured in this month. Now we need a smart, intelligent and hardworking person to replace him. Are you ready to take up the challenge? Are you ready to become the 6th person to be injured? 

If you're interested, feel free to contact us!

 

90 Words

[legosuperhero 23]

Zookeeper

Dusseldorf city zoo

 

Do you have never-ending relationships with animals? If yes, this job is a perfect job for you. Preferably tall dictators to feed the mammoths and applications from puny hornets or short vikings will NOT be accepted. Required to handle with pesky wasps and must feed the chickens, not feed on the chickens. A degree on handling with firebirds is mandatory. Must also have the ability to sumo wrestle mammoths to prevent them from eating customers. The zoo is not responsible for any broken barrels or fractured hulls. Good luck.

 

-92 words

ROFL, Great !

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

I wonder which entry is going to win :lol:

[micio-creeper 102]

Trader

 

Hi mate, I want to show you a great job - Trader. You must selling druggs on all maps, for best in Polygon CP tunnel but it's not easy because of police. Police it's players that sending to you messages "Drugger noob leave no skill" and they later chatting "Gold box please admin!!!11" This job is not easy but you can earn lots of money when players see message "Gold box will be dropped soon" because they all getting druggs and chatting "thank yuo admin, wheur is gold box?". I hope you don't get mindblow because of that messages

 

99 words

[Mesiah137 0]

The Tour Operator is one of the most important jobs available. You will need to know an extensive amount of information about each map, and be able to navigate them well. As Tour Operator, you would have the responsibility of showing other tankers around places such as Berlin, Edinburgh, Iran. Showing them the Future, and how Gravity works. You can show them the games in Stadium, and the length of the Short Bridge. You can climb to the top of Skyscrapers, or travel underneath Subway. You can even show them places never before heard of such as Solikamsk and Molotov.

 Word Count: 100

[G.jj.tanki 0]

Job: zookeeper

Location: a zoo

A zookeepers job is a funny one because you can drive around in a golf-cart, feed, and see animals you would not normoly see on a stroll through the park!

[Swagger1875 3]

Swagger1875

Trader

 

Are you a person that just loves animals? Then zoo keeping is the job for you. We love enthusiastic animal lovers,and people that can entertain crowds. We also give good pay, but if you want it, please don't get too lovey dovey with the big cats or alligators, they tend to bite. You will get awesome jobs such as cleaning the great smelling poop from the giraffe's cages, and feeding the lions. They do get snappy, so please don't accidentally feed them yourself. Also, please don't make annoying guests the main course for carnivores. Respond soon, limited time only.

 

 

Word Count= 100 words, not including underlined words or any punctuation. 

[chessmaster1077 41]

Social Activist
White House

Have you ever been thinking that Tanki needs some change? Well if you are, you should join the Tanki Activists! Together, we shall unite and take over the Tanki Headquarters and get our way! Never forget, YOU are the person who drives change! Need I say more? Well of course, you aren't sure what to do yet... All you gotta do is be angry, and when we mean angry, WE MEAN ANGRY!!! We need the most motivational speakers and dedicated players to join us, so are you ready to bring change?!

 

91 words. By @chessmaster1077

Edited October 20, 2015 by chessmaster1077