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[Issue 52] Are you a Pro?


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Greetings readers. Have you ever wondered if you were really 'pro' at Tanki? A member of that elusive masterclass? 

Well, speculate no longer, as I have formulated an interactive questionnaire so that the average tanker can conclusively determine whether or not they are truly pro. 

 

(Open spoiler to begin.)

 

Are you @GoldRock

 

Yes

Stop here mult.  

 

No

 

Do you have multiple Gissimo accounts?

 

No

NOT PRO. ro N.O.L.I.F.E and rank up. 

 

Yes, of course nug. 

 

Do you speak 'Sandbox' Russian?

 

No

You're obviously not a pro if you don't know the lingo. Try again. 

 

Да нуб 

 

Are you named after O.U.F.A? 

 

Eww, no. Why would I do that? -.-

Sorry, but if O.U.F.A isn't your idol, you simply cannot be a pro. Go back and become an adoring fan pls!

 

Yes

 

Is your forum post count over 5k?

 

No

Noob, find a forum game to spam. 

 

Yes

 

Have you been featured as the 'Goldhunter of the week' 

 

No

(Sigh.) Srrysly? Real worth (aka pro-ness) is obviously determined by the number of golds one can catch. Posting pics of each and every one of those golden boxes in POTD is merely the icing on the cake. #notpro #learntogoldhuntnewb

 

Yes

 

Are you the proud creator of multiple goodbye topics?

 

No

What's wrong with you? Every tanker worth their salt is in the process of leaving and/or has already "left" several times.  

 

Yes

 

Do you own all the XT combos?

 

No

Nug, the words 'XT' and 'pro' are practically synonymous. Go make some purchases. 

 

Yes

 

Have you completed more than 70% of your rating achievements?

 

No

...I think it goes without saying that real professionals achieve stuff. Mult!!!111!!!11!! 

 

Yes

 

Do you read the TO Newspaper?

 

Yes

Nug, why bother? 

 

No

If you survived this questionnaire...

 

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A PRO!@!21@#!!$@!%@!#%!#!@#!23

 

 

 

Disclaimer: Be warned that results may vary. The creator of this topic is in no way, shape, or form responsible for any dissatisfaction on the reader's part. Thank you.  

 

 

 

 

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Edited by Phoenix-Warbird
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I wonder if anyone can actually claim all of these. Probably a Russian, but still interesting if anyone can honestly say

They own multiple gismo accounts (A feat very few players can lay claim to)

They can speak Sandbox Russian (or all Russian)

Being named after O.U.F.A. (something I wonder if we're talking about Tanki nickname or actual name)

Posting over 5k posts (Very few have done that realistically....you have to be a forum nerd to do that)

Being featured as Goldhunter of the week

Proud creator of multiple goodbye topics (Notice the word "proud" in there)

Owning all XT combos (is this just on the one or both Gissmo accounts??)

Completing 70% of achievements

Not reading the English TO Newspaper (something everyone who reads this post is eliminated from)

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I am a Pro myself without answering all that trash muhahahahaha

just kidding

(nice one night sisters)

Edited by Mr.Ace

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