[Issue 54] [Special] Newspaper Crystal Giveaway... with a twist!

[Halogen.H 3]

Halogen.H

SharpTechdragon

 

What do you call a baby salmon?

 

 

Salmonella

 

 

[strikers4 3]

strikers4 (3rd Lieutenant)

 

metallicruom (3rd Lieutenant)

 

whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup

 

anyone can roast beef but no one can pea soup  :D

[HaloScorpionV2 438]

HaloScorpionV2 & doughnut2100

 

420 blaze deez lit nuts ;)

[samosey 153]

@samosey

@hotshotshooter

 

joke

 

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy calms down and says: " Make 'em all ugly again."

Edited July 6, 2016 by samosey

[3eastplayer_SWAG 11]

1.3eastplayer_Swag

2. iii_dope_iii (my sis, i vote for her and she doesnt do me  :angry:

 

 

Joke:

 

Where do we subscribe for the giveaway?

 

Edited July 5, 2016 by 3eastplayer_SWAG

[Link_1119 183]

1.Link_1119

2.Poop

 

JOKE:

i liek poop

[Aloyjust1000 0]

Aloyjust1000

OPJoshua

 

What do flies wear on their shoes?

Ans: Shoos

[CooperO 7,956]

@I3est

 

A couple had problems with their internet connection and they asked their neighbor for help. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she answered.

They tried S123 multiple times, but 
it didn’t work. So they called the wife in. While she entered the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

[Superfrostymmos 3]

@Superfrostymmos

@Firestorm900

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

Edited July 5, 2016 by Superfrostymmos

[Seargent_Death 21]

Seargent_Death ---> http://ratings.tankionline.com/en/user/seargent_death/

Schroedinger_Cat --->​ http://ratings.tankionline.com/en/user/schroedinger_cat/

 

Joke:

 

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the world do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

[MusicJam19 737]

@MusicJam19

 

Joke: England's national football team

Edited July 5, 2016 by MusicJam19

[Leaflet314 18]

-Greenescale

-Leaflet314

 

Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

 

Because he got hit by a bus.

 

[great-gold 0]

great-gold

TO-MY-FORTUNE The Time Traveling Soldier

 

When a soldier came to the 
clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an 
attractive, young technician. Sometime later, when the examination 
was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. The soldier remarked, “How long was 
I in there for?”

Edited July 5, 2016 by GoldRock
Please don't quote the entire original post!

[soil11 0]

1 soil11

2 weeben

 

A MAN'S LOGIC

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"

 

ps:we live in same house

[zanere 0]

1 zanere

2 wenane

 

MAN OF THE HOUSE

 

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife."See if they fit.""They don't.""Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked him to try them on."I can't get into these.""And you won't, either, with that attitude."

[zanere 0]

1 ween

2 weene 

 

LIMERICK ABOUT A MAN FROM CALCUTTA

 

There was a young man from CalcuttaWho spent his life in the gutta.Till the tropical heatGot the best of his meat,And turned his cream to butta.

[SUP3R_ST4R 1,205]

@rockzdx1

 

When i told the doctor about my memory loss He made me play in advance

 

 

[Star_Lord_Tinkou 1,386]

1: @Star_Lord_Tinkou

2: @Pakistani_GanGster20

        Trolling the friends :D

 

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.

The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.

The second guy wishes the same.

The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’

 

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

@GrandExecutioner

@kukii

 

Joke: I'm so bright my mother calls me son.

[ismadjou 7]

ismadjou

headmaster0

 

Joke: Why did the Owl 'owl

 

Cos the Woodpecker would peck 'er

[LIMITFULL 1,793]

1.  DragonOfStorms

2.  LIMITFULL

 

Why don't blondes eat pickles?
 

They can't get their heads in the jar...
 

[sweetwillie111 3]

1. sweetwillie111

2. sweetwiliie888

 

Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?

 

Because he had no guts.

[TheEmeraldMiner 108]

Joke: Why do the french like snails?

 

Because they cant stand fast food!

 

@TheEmeraldMiner

@yoyo360_GTO

[Skylobb07 21]

@Skylobb07

@Railgunless

 

A:What do you call a alligator in a vest?

Q:An Investigator

[Pigeon-king 25]

pigeon-king

craftyshooter

 

Teacher:Does anybody know what this is *Holds up his canteen of water*

Student1:water

Student2:Salty saline!

Student3:The sad tears of all your students.

Edited July 13, 2016 by Pigeon-king