Results [Issue 55] Crystal Giveaway

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

 

Three hundred and thirty-two legitimate entries. Over seventeen pages to sort through. Jokes that made me laugh, and jokes that made me cringe.

Now, finally: the results for the crystal giveaway are here.

 

 

Our grand winner, randomly chosen is.....(drumroll)......@F1ASC0. (Link to entry.)

 

 He and his nominated friend, , will each be receiving 10,000 crystals. Congratulations to both lucky tankers!

 

 

**

 

Now as you all well know, entrants were also required to post a joke with their names. And there were some good ones, so below is a non-exhaustive list of my favorite jokes from the topic, in no particular order. Enjoy!

 

 

 

A thief broke into my house last night searching for money...

 

So I woke up and searched with him

 

~@InfernoScorpion_007

 

 

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

 

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

 

~@ethanisme

 

 

Joke:

GoldRock's garage.

 

~ @PhoenixTheManiac

 

 

Son and father have a discussion.

Son asks: "Dad, what is the difference between unlucky and catastrophic?"

Father: "I tell you with an example. Unlucky is when your mom's mom, who is my mother-in-law, falls to the river from the bridge. If she were saved that would be catastrophe."

 

~@jazzter2

 

 

The joke:

 

is on you.

 

I blame the ns.

 

 

~@olixu

 

 

A couple had problems with their internet connection and they asked their neighbor for help. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she answered.

They tried S123 multiple times, but 
it didn’t work. So they called the wife in. While she entered the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

 

~@CooperO

 

 

My boss told me to have a good day... so I went back home.

 

~@BlackPanther101_XXX

 

 

I have lots of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

 

~@Kroboski88

 

 

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lbs. can of coffee, and a 1 lbs. package of bacon.

 

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

 

 

The drunk replied, "'cause you're ugly."

 

~ 

 

 

Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You’re Not Guilty?
Me: Thanks, I’m outta here.

 

~ @No.One.Can.Stop.Me

 

 

A few days after her husbands death; a grieving widow mistakenly receives an e-mail from a man on vacation

in Miami,Fla.

Dearest wife,
I just got checked in and everything's ready for your arrival tomorrow!
P.S.  It's really hot down here.

 

~@M4ShermanUSA

 

 

Son: hi dad, I'm hungry
Dad: hi hungry I'm dad

 

~@dhruv123456

 

 

Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do u drive this thing?"

 

~

 

 

Three guys went out hunting: a hunter, an Indian, and a cowboy.  The Indian says "I'm gonna go get myself the biggest deer you two ever saw" and went out into the woods. 2 hours later, he comes back with the biggest deer the others ever saw. they  say"Whoa!! How'd u do it??? and he says :"me see tracks, me follow tracks BANG me shoot deer." The hunter says "Im gonna go get myself the biggest BEAR you 2 ever saw" and goes out into the woods. 2 hours later, he comes back with the biggest bear  the others ever saw. they  say "Whoa!! How'd u do it??? and he says :"me see tracks, me follow tracks BANG me shoot bear." then the cowboy says "if u 2 can do it, I can do it" and goes out into the woods. six hours later, its dusk and the others are packing up to look for him, he comes back bloody, bruised, ripped clothes, and stumbling. They  say "Whoa!! WHAT HAPPENED????? and he says :"me see tracks, me follow tracks BANG me get hit by a train." 

 

~@1creepercraft_tanki

 

 

 

Thanks to everyone who participated, and again, congratulations to the winner. Crystals will be delivered by the first of August. 

 

 

 

Edited July 20, 2017 by Hexed

[ethanisme 1,115]

Haha nice jokes ppl! And congo to the winners :)

[falcosenna1 8,320]

Congratulations to the lucky winners!! :D

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

I didn't win -_-

[DESTROYER_13 1,019]

Or anybody else.

[Rico_Viking_9000 942]

#ElsaJokesRule

[3x3cube 288]

GG

[L.7 1,452]

Congratulations to both lucky tankers! ^_^

[Ninja 10,468]

Awesome jokes!

[Luxury 315]

Thanks, @F1ASC0!  :)

[Mr.Cashier 1,622]

Congrats to The Winner! 

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

I didn't win? i cri evri tiem

[F1ASC0 1,705]

Thank you all! :d :d :d

 

Thanks, @F1ASC0!  :)

NP :)

[Boeing_787 1,455]

Congrats fiesta! :)

[F1ASC0 1,705]

Thanks

[ValdezHawk 12]

Nice jokes, guys! You guys seriously rock even if you don't like rocks! (no pun intended :P)

[Seargent_Death 21]

Omg tanki are you serious!? That is probably one of the worst jokes I have ever heard. You have clearly not done this contest properly as there are many, many jokes that were better than that one you choose.

[F1ASC0 1,705]

Omg tanki are you serious!? That is probably one of the worst jokes I have ever heard. You have clearly not done this contest properly as there are many, many jokes that were better than that one you choose.

They chose me by random. I was just required to have a joke, even if it was a bad one. :rolleyes:

 

Pls no cri

Edited August 2, 2016 by F1ASC0

[Seargent_Death 21]

They chose me by random. I was just required to have a joke, even if it was a bad one. :rolleyes:

 

I know they chose you by random but your post was on the first page so that gives evidence that they didn't look at every single post on the thread.

 

Pls no cri

 

What does that even mean?

Edited August 2, 2016 by Seargent_Death

[F1ASC0 1,705]

 

They chose me by random. I was just required to have a joke, even if it was a bad one. :rolleyes:

 

I know they chose you by random but your post was on the first page so that gives evidence that they didn't look at every single post on the thread.

 

Pls no cri

 

What does that even mean?

 

^LOL are you really going to say that?

 

Proof that NS looked through all pages is that her favorite jokes were not on the first page.

Edited August 2, 2016 by F1ASC0

[Seargent_Death 21]

^LOL are you really going to say that?

 

Proof that NS looked through all pages is that her favorite jokes were not on the first page.

​​So were they on the second page then? Improve your logic dude. She could have just skipped through pages and looked at random posts. No evidence that she checked every single post.

[F1ASC0 1,705]

Whatever. I doubt they will do that. I can't believe you think they will do that.

[BLASTER872 1,892]

​​So were they on the second page then? Improve your logic dude. She could have just skipped through pages and looked at random posts. No evidence that she checked every single post.

Please Riddler_8's alt, you're just salty

[Seargent_Death 21]

Please Riddler_8's alt, you're just salty

What the hell why would I be that guys alt, I don't even know who he is. And no I'm not salty.

[TheUltimateTroller 18]

What was the keyword anyway?