A Lieutenant's Perspective (Pt 2) - Tanki Online VS Pokemon GO

[M-axis 589]

Hey there all! This is the second article in my series A Lieutenant's Perspective, the title of which is self-explanatory! Since I am still relatively new to the forums and article writing, please do feel free to share thoughts, comments, and criticism in the comments below. Unfortunately I was unable to figure out why my pictures were not allowed to be posted and therefore my article lacks them. Above all, enjoy this bit of humor and truth mixed together! In...

 

   TANKI ONLINE       VS          POKEMON GO       

 

Five reasons why Lieutenants should stick to Tanki Online:

 

1.  Have you ever thought about the extreme pain and distress all that walking about would do your body? And that's only to catch those nimble Pokemon! You then have to do even more and more walking about to find a gym, battle grounds, and all sorts of other places to maintain them Pokes! Whereas us sensible Tankers are at home resting our feet and laying waste other tankers without moving an inch. Make that 3 inches for our fingers. Makes sense to play Tanki, right?

 

2. The extreme danger of playing Pokemon Go is extraordinary! Since the game's release, people have been caught driving whilst not looking at the road, walking into ponds, stealing boats to catch that Pokemon who ran out onto the water, and even walking into walls! How dim-witted can these fanatics get? We Tankers have way higher IQs. We drive on sidewalks, hide in bushes, climb on top of each other, and plain destroy each other. Talk about the solid armor we must have.

 

3. Going places? Well yea, Pokemon Go lets you go to so many places! Catch Pokes in Trafalgar Square, in the subway, go to a gym or the church next to you, and go searching in the countryside. So many places to go, rather than sitting in a chair playing Angry Birds all day! Meh. We Tankers travel the world in style. My noob account, which is 10 times younger than my main account, has been to Berlin, Alexandrovsk, Kungur and many more places! I won't even begin to say where my main has gone...

 

4.   First things first, Pokemon are a work of the devil! Witch doctors in Africa who have never even heard of Pokemon before claim that certain characters in the game are demons they conjure up in their pots. Demons that haunt the village, demons that... ​Sorry for the interruption readers, I just recieved a call that a Pokemon-Go-addicted-friend has been kidnapped by demons. Another reason to stick to Tanki! We have life-giving Firebirds that cook our food, and Isidas that heal us when we are injured!  :P

 

​5.  Last but not least, please remember: Pokemon is BORING!!! All you do is catch Pokemon, battle them, then recapture them, battle them, and on and on and on... whereas in Tanki Online, you have a while range of stuff to do! From buying a new paint and visiting the world of Silence to ranking up, chatting and finding a new girlfriend - Tanki is AWESOME!!

Yes, yes I was being sarcastic on that last one...

 

Five reasons why Lieutenants should change to Pokemon Go:

 

1. First of all, take a moment and think. Pokemon Go is an exciting outdoor game in which you and your IRL friends can play, and enjoy lovely fresh air and the song of beautiful birds! I would highly recommend you play PG UNLESS you want to become some big fat slobby potato couch who never moves about and doesn't know the words "fresh underwear." Think about all the benefits of playing outdoors! Real 3D BUSHES! for instance.

 

2. Playing Tanki Online is soooo00000OOOOO......(continues till doomsdays) (doomsday over, I can now continue.) unhealthy and dangerous! Did you know that staring at screens without proper lighting can give you eye cancer?! Compared to the healthy eyes you'll get with all that beautiful scenery outdoors! Plus moving your fingers excessively can be damaging as well. Whist moving your legs can prevent heart failure! Or heart attacks! Or heart disease or whatever that science report-I-never-bothered-to-study-said. (See? Playing Tanki has already damaged and critically endangered my career!) Finally, just remember. Explosions always will explode something = you will have to pay to repair that window you just broke.

 

3. Talk about all the wonderful places Pokemon Go will bring you too when you are on the move catching those Pokemon! Apparently you could be visiting a history museum, or visit that great-great-great-uncle on your mother's side in your father's grandfather's son's sister-in-law's graveyard you never knew about! Or even discover the Gospel after walking into a church! Although I would recommend doing all those things rather than staring at a screen all day... Pokemon Go still can give eye cancer if you are not careful! But still, stare at the monuments and you should be fine.

My dad is an eye doctor that's how I know :P

​

 

4. As mentioned previously, explosions are DANGEROUS! Not something a girl should be playing around with...

No offense to the Spring Showdown Tournament! I only agreed to that because they were giving away free crystals!!

 

Anyway, here's a list of why each of your turrets are deadly dangerous and why you shouldn't be playing TO:

 

Thunder - It explodes stuff

Railgun - it rips stuff

Shaft - Did your parents say you could join the military??

Vulcan - If they didn't, then you definitely shouldn't be using scopes, much less machine guns. :ph34r:

Smoky - It puts you in critical hospital

Firebird - It BURNS!!

Freeze - #Hypothermia

My dad's a doctor, thats how I know

Hammer - It smashes

Isida - Um, it drains your health like a leech? That was pretty obvious..

 

5. Last, but not least, Tanki Online is BORING!! All you do is gain XP, buy a new turret, rank, rinse, and repeat. Meh.

 

Thanks for reading this article! What do YOU think about the differences between Tanki Online and Pokemon Go? Tell me in the comments and look out for my next article: A Lieutenant's Perspective - Silence. And of course don't forget to read A Lieutenant's Perspective - Supplies (should have named it Druggers...) <_<

 

Remember people, whilst all computer games may be fun and you may have loads of online friends, exercise and books will always reign! Computer games are both bad for your eyes and whistle away your precious time. Spend time wisely studying and going to an actual fitness gym and you will go far in life. Lieutenant and out.  ;)

Edited August 16, 2016 by M-axis

[GoldRock 6,165]

- Minor changes to formatting (font use, spacing),
- Grammar and proofreading fixes (check how to spell 'Isida'  :P).

[ToHoYoNTaDa 1,147]

Good job!

[M-axis 589]

- Minor changes to formatting (font use, spacing),

- Grammar and proofreading fixes (check how to spell 'Isida'  :P).

Lol thanks mate, me no no haw ta spell ya? :huh:  :D

 

Lol, just realized you changed my font back to a normal font, I thought my newspaper type font was way cooler :P

Edited August 11, 2016 by M-axis

[GoldRock 6,165]

Lol, just realized you changed my font back to a normal font, I thought my newspaper type font was way cooler :P

I did it for readability and aesthetics - I could see what you were going for with the effect there, but the thing is, it made the article hard to read and looked a bit messy to have two different fonts. Simple can be better! ^_^

[Earth 1,091]

Pokemon Go Life :wub:

[DESTROYER_13 1,019]

Pokémon Go for life.  :wub:

[basenji7 1,199]

I'd play Pokemon Go, but I have a sense of pride lol  ;)

 

Re-rebuttal:

 

 

 

Five reasons why Lieutenants should change to Pokemon Go:

 

1. First of all, take a moment and think. Pokemon Go is an exciting outdoor game in which you and your IRL friends can play, and enjoy lovely fresh air and the song of beautiful birds! I would highly recommend you play PG UNLESS you want to become some big fat slobby potato couch who never moves about That's me and doesn't know the words "fresh underwear." Perhaps not... :P  Think about all the benefits of playing outdoors! Real 3D BUSHES! for instance. Think of all the benefits of lying in bed doing nothing indoors!!!! Not having to move, for instance... :lol: 

 

2. Playing Tanki Online is soooo00000OOOOO......(continues till doomsdays) (doomsday over, I can now continue.) unhealthy and dangerous! Did you know that staring at screens without proper lighting can give you eye cancer?! Compared to the healthy eyes you'll get with all that beautiful scenery outdoors! Too late my eyes are #rekt already  :ph34r:Plus moving your fingers excessively can be damaging as well. Whist moving your legs can prevent heart failure! Or heart attacks! Or heart disease or whatever that science report-I-never-bothered-to-study-said. (See? Playing Tanki has already damaged and critically endangered my career!) Finally, just remember. Explosions always will explode something = you will have to pay to repair that window you just broke. .......Bye....Have fun fixing that window...... :ph34r: 

 

3. Talk about all the wonderful places Pokemon Go will bring you too when you are on the move catching those Pokemon! Apparently you could be visiting a history museum, or visit that great-great-great-uncle on your mother's side in your father's grandfather's son's sister-in-law's graveyard you never knew about! Or even discover the Gospel after walking into a church! :o  How enlightening!  :P Although I would recommend doing all those things rather than staring at a screen all day... Pokemon Go still can give eye cancer if you are not careful! But still, stare at the monuments and you should be fine. 

 

My dad is an eye doctor that's how I know :P

​

 

4. As mentioned previously, explosions are DANGEROUS! Not something a girl should be playing around with... thx  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  :mellow:  

No offense to the Spring Showdown Tournament! I only agreed to that because they were giving away free crystals!!

 

Anyway, here's a list of why each of your turrets are deadly dangerous and why you shouldn't be playing TO:

 

Thunder - It explodes stuff great

Railgun - it rips stuff wonderful

Shaft - Did your parents say you could join the military?? heh

Vulcan - If they didn't, then you definitely shouldn't be using scopes, much less machine guns. :ph34r: heheheheh

Smoky - It puts you in critical hospital It puts your enemies* in critical condition

Firebird - It BURNS!! OOOH BURNNNN

Freeze - #Hypothermia

My dad's a doctor, thats how I know

 Also destruction and death  :ph34r: 

Hammer - It smashes Absolutely smashing, innit?

Isida - Um, it drains your health like a leech? That was pretty obvious.. Again, it drains your ENEMY's health like a leech...and replenishes your own. I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to become healthier  :P 

 

5. Last, but not least, Tanki Online is BORING!! All you do is gain XP, buy a new turret, rank, rinse, and repeat. Meh. Pokemon is boring...You catch pokemons and fight them (or something like that I don't care ok  :ph34r:  :lol: )

 

 

Remember people, whilst all computer games may be fun and you may have loads of online friends, exercise and books will always reign! Computer games are both bad for your eyes and whistle away your precious time. Spend time wisely studying and going to an actual fitness gym and you will go far in life. Lieutenant and out.  ;)

Yeah about that

This isn't reassuring me

About my bleak prospects in life  :ph34r:  :P 

 

 

 

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

:ph34r:  Why not just play both games like I do....

 

#GoPokemonGo  :D

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

This is hilarious. But #4 for the first part is agreeable

[zaintahir 458]

YOU LITERALLY CONTRADICTED EVERYTHING YOU SAID, you said Pokemon GO is boring and later said the same about tanki, you said that you don't need to move to play tanki but later said you shouldn't play tanki so you could move.

other than that good article.

[M-axis 589]

I did it for readability and aesthetics - I could see what you were going for with the effect there, but the thing is, it made the article hard to read and looked a bit messy to have two different fonts. Simple can be better! ^_^

Thanks for the tip, no offense meant btw ;)

 

I'd play Pokemon Go, but I have a sense of pride lol  ;)

 

Re-rebuttal:

 

 

 

 

Hilarious :D  :lol:

 

YOU LITERALLY CONTRADICTED EVERYTHING YOU SAID, you said Pokemon GO is boring and later said the same about tanki, you said that you don't need to move to play tanki but later said you shouldn't play tanki so you could move.

other than that good article.

Every heard of something called sarcasm...I intended to do that :P

[M-axis 589]

Pokemon Go Life :wub:

:D

 

Pokémon Go for life.  :wub:

:lol:

 

:ph34r:  Why not just play both games like I do....

 

#GoPokemonGo  :D

:rolleyes:

 

This is hilarious. But #4 for the first part is agreeable

Aye, its actually been researched and proven. 

[Agent101us 310]

Pokemon Go Life :wub:

This demonstrates the people who have no life nothing to do, go do homework it's more fun than that thinng

[arnav0506 2,777]

Tanki plz admin

*Admin gives Double Crystal Card*

Thank admin i buy 500k cry k thz

#TankiOnlineIsmyLife XD

[M-axis 589]

Couldn't write anything BETTER? Off-topic Discussion would have been better for this one. I'd prefer a Tanki Lieutenant's Tanki features opinion column not a random piece in TO newspaper's amateur writing club.

I'd actually been intending to write perspectives on how to use turrets and opinions on different maps till I had this random idea of PG vs TO and couldn't remove it from my head :P

 

And I have been saying that I'd appreciate comments on WHAT to write, any suggestions?

[M-axis 589]

Will do then xD

[M-axis 589]

Next article "A Lieutenant's perspective - Silence" should be out soon. I'm already half way through so should be another day or two. Talk about work, this one is taking ages to type :mellow:

[r_Valk8 2,086]

Next article "A Lieutenant's perspective - Silence" should be out soon. I'm already half way through so should be another day or two. Talk about work, this one is taking ages to type :mellow:

cool

[Hex 11,520]

You are actually trying to stop people from playing this game o.O

[Jwimmer 2,835]

Entertaining article that was easy to read. Looking forward to your next writing!

[M-axis 589]

cool

 

cool

Its already out, boy it took ages! :wacko:

 

You are actually trying to stop people from playing this game o.O

 

:ph34r:

Entertaining article that was easy to read. Looking forward to your next writing!

Thanks man! I tr to keep it simple :)

[tousif_the_master 2,240]

Awesome :D