Joke of the Day - Have any?

[legenddestroyer 824]

hmmm

Edited December 21, 2017 by legenddestroyer

[Okami 3,041]

This one isn't mine, credit to /u/morgan423 on Reddit. I remember reading this, and I really liked it.

 

Once upon a time in the magical fantasy, there lived a young monk named Sam.kingdom/

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, he hit upon a beautifully intricate note of pure magic. Everyone within miles just froze in mid action, stirred to the very core of their souls by the pure bliss of the tone. And all the realm realized, instantly, that it was Sam, and Sam was the first person in history to hit one of the rumored Magical Notes that musicians had theorized must exist... yet no one before Sam had ever reached one.

And on Sam's 20th birthday, it happened again. This time, the town below was so impacted that no one moved, spoke, or even blinked for several minutes after. As the golden sound finally tapered off and ceased, they knew that Sam had found the Second Note...

And the next year on Sam's birthday, the town had realized there was a pattern involved. This time, all of the townspeople were present in the monastery's nave, watching in awe, as Sam hit the glorious Third Note. People cried out in pure joy as the sound grew to a glorious crescendo. Words cannot do justice to the experience. The town flourished, as Sam's notes made the people pure all the way to the core of their beings.

And on it went for the next few years, the Magical Notes growing sweeter and sweeter... until, that is, Sam's 25th birthday. All at first seemed as normal... until Sam hit the Magical Note. From the start, Sam seemed very uncomfortable, and this new sound was not beautiful... it was jarring and discordant. Sam started to get very warm, and was visibly sweating onstage. He doubled his resolve and dug deeper, to get to the sweet part of the Magical Note that he knew must be there.

Suddenly, to the horror of all, Sam spontaneously combusted! The two closest monks on stage were burned by the flames coming off of his body, and he ignited the stage curtains. Soon the entire monastery was aflame. By a miracle, everyone made it out, except for poor Sam.

The townsfolk were left staring at the burning monastery in sad, stunned disbelief.

The mayor approached the lead monk of the order. "What happened?" he asked, exasperated.

The old monk shook his head sadly. "Isn't it obvious?" he said. "Sam sung Note 7."

Edited December 23, 2017 by GrayWolf8733

[r_trooll15 827]

This one isn't mine, credit to /u/morgan423 on Reddit. I remember reading this, and I really liked it.

 

Once upon a time in the magical fantasy, there lived a young monk named Sam.kingdom/

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the townspeople below.

Sam was particularly gifted, and on his 19th birthday, in mid-song, he hit upon a beautifully intricate note of pure magic. Everyone within miles just froze in mid action, stirred to the very core of their souls by the pure bliss of the tone. And all the realm realized, instantly, that it was Sam, and Sam was the first person in history to hit one of the rumored Magical Notes that musicians had theorized must exist... yet no one before Sam had ever reached one.

And on Sam's 20th birthday, it happened again. This time, the town below was so impacted that no one moved, spoke, or even blinked for several minutes after. As the golden sound finally tapered off and ceased, they knew that Sam had found the Second Note...

And the next year on Sam's birthday, the town had realized there was a pattern involved. This time, all of the townspeople were present in the monastery's nave, watching in awe, as Sam hit the glorious Third Note. People cried out in pure joy as the sound grew to a glorious crescendo. Words cannot do justice to the experience. The town flourished, as Sam's notes made the people pure all the way to the core of their beings.

And on it went for the next few years, the Magical Notes growing sweeter and sweeter... until, that is, Sam's 25th birthday. All at first seemed as normal... until Sam hit the Magical Note. From the start, Sam seemed very uncomfortable, and this new sound was not beautiful... it was jarring and discordant. Sam started to get very warm, and was visibly sweating onstage. He doubled his resolve and dug deeper, to get to the sweet part of the Magical Note that he knew must be there.

Suddenly, to the horror of all, Sam spontaneously combusted! The two closest monks on stage were burned by the flames coming off of his body, and he ignited the stage curtains. Soon the entire monastery was aflame. By a miracle, everyone made it out, except for poor Sam.

The townsfolk were left staring at the burning monastery in sad, stunned disbelief.

The mayor approached the lead monk of the order. "What happened?" he asked, exasperated.

The old monk shook his head sadly. "Isn't it obvious?" he said. "Sam sung Note 7."

I didn't get it... Then I remembered about the phone :lol:

[GuidoFawkes 2,361]

~deck the halls with boughs of holly...~

~fa la la la la la..~

 

Edited December 31, 2017 by BlackWasp777

[GuidoFawkes 2,361]

man, blackwasp if you're gonna remove the joke part of my joke then you  might as well remove the whole thing.. now it's just one irrelevant post

[DieselPlatinum 5,121]

I don't have any, sorry Charlie :ph34r:

[Coat 2,280]

Hi I'm Mad

[r_trooll15 827]

Hi I'm Mad

You mad, bro?

[JAGMAN2468 104]

Why did the man run away from the bear? 

Because he could 'barely' handle it.

(I'm known at my school for bad puns  ;))

[r_trooll15 827]

Why did the man run away from the bear?

Because he could 'barely' handle it.

(I'm known at my school for bad puns ;))

I don't need your punishment

[JAGMAN2468 104]

I don't need your punishment

Ha ha, very punny  ;)

[r_trooll15 827]

Ha ha, very punny ;)

How Juanderful

[Legacy 754]

How do you call a bear that attacks only who thier names Paul?

[r_trooll15 827]

<_<

What

[Legacy 754]

Paul's attacker :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Edited January 11, 2018 by Legacy

[Coat 2,280]

You mad, bro?

No

[Legacy 754]

Do not trust edited posts!

Edited January 11, 2018 by Legacy

[Legacy 754]

:huh:?

Q: How do you call a bear that attacks only who thier names Paul?

A guy: What? <_<

A: Paul's attacker :lol:

[Legacy 754]

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote' data-author="Legacy" data-cid="6402212" data-time="1515702459">Legacy, on 11 Jan 2018 - 21:27, said:<p>Q: How do you call a bear that attacks only who thier names Paul?A guy: What?

DON'T HACK ME!

Edited January 11, 2018 by Legacy

[Mistalee 1,337]

Did you know? .. your mom is your mother?, and your dad is your father?` kamOUT

[JAGMAN2468 104]

Maf replying to his own Game Report lol.

Edited January 19, 2018 by JAGMAN2468

[r_trooll15 827]

<hacked quote name="Legacy" post="640.22.15" timestamp="151.570.27.29">

 

DON'T HACK ME!</quote>

Successful

<Ping=333.727.844.4688><randlettrs><datamine><hax><hax0rs><tool8>

[GuidoFawkes 2,361]

[Coat 2,280]

http://en.tankiforum.com/index.php?showtopic=313616&page=1

 

This made my day :lol:

Especially this line "My plan is a feature where tankers get to earn £20 per tank killed in Tanki online."

[D_A.N.I.E.l 55]

Bill Gates: I went to Bank yesterday to talk about a Loan.

Man: What do you need a Loan for?

Bill Gates: I don't ,the Bank does.

(bill gates= richest man in the world)

Edited February 22, 2018 by D_A.N.I.E.l