[Issue 64] [Story] Situation: Part One

[tweezers 1,034]

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a short summary of my situation right now.

 

Everythings dead, the only thing I have to talk to is my ‘Personal Assistance Android’, Robinson unit 2275, and there’s a giant rock hurtling through space with the express purpose of pulverising whatever’s left on Earth.

 

Allow me to be clearer: I’m screwed.

 

I’ll address each of these in order. I think I’ll call them ‘The Death Factors’. Yes. That sounds good.

 

Death Factor 1: The general deadness of everything.

 

It’s like all those apocalypse movies from way back when. Empty streets, empty houses, empty everything. Although minus the bloodthirsty zombies/aliens/robots. This all happened because of the same reason as all those movies though: a bloody virus.

 

It was a scary thing, that virus. It sort of just crept up on you, with no warning at all. Like getting ambushed by a kitten, except less pleasant. Anyway. It spread like wildfire, and attacked everything. Humans, dogs, insects, you name it, it got infected. Except plants, and trees, strangely. And once you were infected, there was no hope. You just dropped dead. Poof. And then came the twist. Your body just sort of decomposed really, really fast. Within 12 hours of getting the virus, you’d be reduced to a pile of ashes fluttering about in a mound of clothes. No cure. And it hit everyone, even the most isolated, well protected ones.

 

I’m immune it seems, like in the movies. I don’t know why, and I honestly can’t be bothered figuring it out.

 

So guess who gets to play the Lone Ranger in his newest adventure, “Save the Earth from the Giant Rock!”

 

More on that later.

 

Death Factor 2: Personal Assistance Android: Robinson- “With you, whenever.”

 

Well, they got the catchphrase right at least.

 

Ever since the boffins poked around with their circuits and computers and made one that passed the Turing Test, us puny humans have had AI helpers to, well, help us with stuff. They’re insanely strong, look like us except for their lack of fashion sense, and all have numbers assigned to them. My ones’ number is 2275. Say hi, 2275.

 

“Hello!”

 

The first Androids were stiff. Their speech instantly gave away the fact that they weren’t really humans. Robinsons, on the other hand, are far more advanced. They talk like humans, walk like humans, and occasionally act like them as well,  in that they act like clumsy buffoons. 2275 here falls over on a daily basis, but he’s highly intelligent, and very useful, considering that he keeps me from going off my head. Robinsons also learn from their humans and take on certain personality traits. That’s why 2275 swears a lot more than any self respecting Android should. Imagine, one day he might be just like me.

 

Scary stuff. The world can’t handle this much brilliance. Although it won’t need to for much longer apparently, which brings me neatly on to…

 

Death Factor 3: Giant Space Rock!

 

We’ve known about this meteor for years now, and yet we hadn’t panicked and run around screaming. Why, you ask? Well, that’s because humanity had a PLAN!

 

That’s right, we had a plan. A plan, quite simply, to knock the Giant Space Rock off its path of destruction with a giant rocket launched with the sole purpose of smacking it right in the face. The rocket’s built, primed, and ready to launch. There’s just the small problem of everyone tasked with the responsibility of launching it being, y’know, slowly sifting piles of ash. Luckily, them being the smart cookies that they were, they literally made a big red button marked “Launch” that would activate everything and send it off into space when the virus started spreading and they knew that they were going to be toast, and then broadcasted the location of the launch pad and full instructions everywhere. They even resorted to posters, like the one I have in my hand. It needs to be launched in 3 weeks, by the date printed in red here.

 

I could do it. Or I could just ignore it and let everything get pulverised. It’s not like there’s anyone here to thank me.

 

Decisions, decisions…

 

 

[Destrod 2,634]

Talk about a mind blowing plot! You definitely out did yourself this time twee, how the three situations merge with each other so perfectly does not cease to amaze me.

Looking forward to the sequel, we might have something worthwhile here

[tweezers 1,034]

Talk about a mind blowing plot! You definitely out did yourself this time twee, how the three situations merge with each other so perfectly does not cease to amaze me.

Looking forward to the sequel, we might have something worthwhile here

Thanks! Look out for the sequel in the next issue, eh? :P

[HAM5TER 10]

Well, this one is amazing. Good Job mate ;)

[HAPPSHOT 2,029]

King, no words to explain

[tweezers 1,034]

King, no words to explain

:wub:

 

 

Some would explain it with a liberal use of the words noob and mult.

 

 

[Tankbuster89_EN 11]

wow, this was really good work, I'd like to read more of it. Nice way you fit it all in and good vocabulary all around. Also good thing you mentioned the common movie cliches and even commented on them giving it a realistic feeling. The ending is superb! It gives you a choice whether you can live without reason but save yourself and what left of the world or let it all burn. Brilliant work never seen before in tanki