Other [Halloween Special] If the English Community Went Trick or Treating

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

As the Sun set on the night of the 31st, tankers from across the community lurked out from their camping spots in their spooky costumes to collect as much candy as they could get their hulls on. The Moon started lighting the sky a bit, just enough to see the ground beneath your tracks. Street lights started blinking, and some went out. A chill settled in with a swift breeze. Some thin tree branches began to shake, although that was mostly thanks to @TSY_the_crazy, who was hiding in the tree branches like a monkey, holding a 24-pack of toilet paper, ready to throw a roll at innocent by-passers.

 

@The.L-E-G-E-N-D, the tough and fierce tanker everyone feared, popped out from the corner of Barda Drive and Highway Hwy., in a pony costume... Friends, laughing, asked him why he chose to wear a pony costume. He explained how he always had a deep love for ponies, and had frequent dreams of one day becoming one, which made the better part of the rest of the night completely awkward. Friends who went with him tried hiding him behind their costumes whenever they rang someone's doorbell, as not to embarrass themselves every time someone opened the door.

 

Meanwhile, a few streets away, @Ninja and @Hate, the cool guys in Tanki Online Junior High, who always claimed the act of trick or treating to be rather babyish, and assured everyone they wouldn't waste their time with it, but would rather go to some cool guys' party, nonetheless wanted a bit of candy, and were never actually invited to any parties. To protect their identity as "the cool kids in school who always got dem' girls," Ninja and Hate snuck out in dark hooded gangster costumes, which hid their faces from other trick-or-treaters and friends who they might have bumped into throughout the night. They did their best to put on different voices, which was for the most part a failure, but just managed to get them through the night with a bit of candy.

 

In some mansion somewhere, the filthy rich @Cyborg was sitting in his mansion, watching some horror movie, and never even thought of going trick or treating. He planned his Halloween just as it had played out: talk to no one, barricade the doors so no trick-or-treaters get near, watch a movie, and go through as much food as possible. Cyborg was always that rich kid in the neighborhood who was spoiled and had no friends, and simply didn't mind it. He just got a new toy everyday, and lived his life. Halloween was nothing more than another day of Tankflix Originals for him.

 

Just couple of hours after dark, the pranksters began rolling out. @Adriel.RB had built a replica of the Bat Signal, only he replaced the famous Batman icon with the word 'FARTS.' How do we know it was Adriel? Well...

 

 

Other pranksters like had their share in trolling too. Kenan walked around town with a recorded audio of the Gold Box siren, and basically triggered everyone. He managed to steal distracted noobs' candy as well, using this fantastic tactic.

 

Then there's good old @Regency, the classic noob. He knocked on peoples' doors in his bunny wabbit costume asking for candy, only to realize he'd just visited that house five times. Then he'd do it again. He also kept forgetting where he left his bag of candy. He put it down to fix his bunny ears, which kept falling in front of his eyes, and when he straightened them, he had no recollection of what just happened. He must've repeated this process at least ten times before finally remembering it was Halloween, by which time he'd forgotten where he put his bucket of candy.

 

After giving up on finding his own bucket, he went around nibbling from other peoples' buckets, occasionally (or should I say, frequently) getting caught and punched. His Halloween ended as it did every year; one candy with one hundred bruises.

 

The successful guy was @lukey0, as he was every year. Lukey somehow always managed to get around thousand times more candy and treats than everyone else in the community, all without the blink of an eye. He didn't even have a cool costume, he just wore some overused skeleton thing. Everyone accused him of hacking, but it's pretty hard to hack real life, so those allegations died down quickly. He sold all his candy and bought a brand new Viking XT, 2018 model! Everyone was jealous, including me (even though I get paid for doing essentially nothing). Salty tankers got jealous and turned his brand new vehicle into an old subway wall, spraying graffiti all over it.

 

 

And amidst all the happiness and ignored people trying to look attractive, sat the most curious of them all, @tweezers. Individuals such as him, don't really fit in well with all the festivities and commotion. These kind of people prefer to stay alone and to their own thoughts, pondering over how something as common as candy could fill the deep and dark hole we all share every year. People walk by him, waving their hands over his face, but he does not even twitch, probably to indicate that he requires his solitude.

 

Sometimes, people consider him as hostile and expect him to be plotting some evil scheme to conquer the world, but that job is for other people, and he takes no notice of these vile gossips. Perhaps, he is disappointed that this community is slowly tumbling away like tumbleweed in the desert, which wouldn't be wrong if he did so. Maybe we should just leave him be, after all, what harm can a pair of tweezers cause?

 

And then he comes. Being the monarch dictator that @Flexoo is, he gently requested everyone to yell 'Hail' and bow down in respect, while having multiple Slovak commandos grab everyone by the neck. They yelled "Hail" with whatever part of their throat which was not being choked, followed by a spontaneous streak of coughing. He who must not be named, although admitting to theft of the name from famous Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort (yes, its not Voldermort) said that he has stolen way more candy than him.

 

His bloodlust for world domination, apparently exceeded his need of chocolate Maltesers. Perhaps he wishes to cover the entire planet with mutated candy monsters? We can only predict, since he keeps all his information secure in his private safe, which only opens when curse words are yelled on it, hence keeping the reporters away. But luckily, he didn't do anything too extreme, besides taking lollipops by force.

 

PS: Future note for all turkeys to stay inside on Thanksgiving, because when this man is around, being roasted with mash potatoes is an understatement.

 

Women control many things in the Halloween Society, and one of those controllers is @Night-Sisters. Don't worry, we'll get to blame her very, very soon. The entire place lit up with joy as she moved through the columns of fans getting over-enthusiastic about seeing her wear an ugly brute costume, although she swore that she wasn't wearing one. Being a candithusiast, Halloween is her favorite time of the year, because she can put aside the sorrow with chocolate. A great follower of The Lord of The Rings trilogy, she tried to inflict her humor upon everyone, but quite frankly, 

 

 

Nevertheless, she tried and failed admirably. As it was Halloween, we exempted her from being blamed, but it's simply in our blood. #BlameTheNS

 

Over yonder stood the duo that call themselves "X_x_X-COOLKIDZ-X-x-X." Namely @Lankbouv and @PAKISTANII. There is one thing that they love more than weird spelling, and that is weird spelling. Being extremely skilled war veterans and eSports legends, these guys handle attention and awkward fan-crushes with ease. Wherever they go, conversations about their awesomeness follows. There are a few who think that their presence is absurd since they have no Halloween spirit, don't wear costumes and consider candy to be "N0t koo1 en0u6h."

Some people go to the extent of calling it Lankoween out of sheer enthusiasm and spirit. Mostly, they liked to stroke their shirt collars as their names were being yelled out, requesting autographs. They simply declined, probably because they can't spell their names and moved forward in the most thug way possible.

 

Weird glasses, big eyelashes and CALTECH passes, there is no Halloween without a nerd teen. @Tofu sat in the corner with his "fancy state of the art high-tech super awesome powerful computer." At least, that's what he calls it. His face was red, there was a steak on his head and for cool people he had hatred. Being a super-minded genius doesn't really help him much, since he can never get anything except nothing. The treats were no use to him because he doesn't know how to chew food. He wrote something on his laptop, taking a closer look revealed the words:

 

"Day 944, I am stranded with these feeble-minded primitive apes. I even hacked into American President's broadcast frequency and forced him to build a wall high enough for a signal into the future. I must purge the Mexicans, brb."

 

With all the different personalities in this vast ecosystem, it's no wonder that the Tanki Community has fallen into chaos. But then again, Halloween is a time to rejoice and forget about past mishaps and bygones, so happy Halloween to you all, fellow weird creatures from deep crevices.  

 

                     

 

 

Previous articles in this series:

   [issue 5] If the English Community was a Company...

   [issue 10] If the English community was a Football [soccer] Team

   [issue 11] What if the English Community was a Restaurant

   [issue 15] If the English community was a City

   [issue 24] If the English Community was Stuck on a Desert Island

   [issue 59] If the English Community was a Hotel

   [issue 67] If the English Community was a Bowling Alley

 

[Magenta 5,165]

I see you two work together now.

[Illuminati 122]

This made me laugh.

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

I see you two work together now.

I see it too.  :ph34r:

Edited December 9, 2017 by Marc

[maryam98 1,171]

‘with whatever part of their throat which was not being choked’

-_-

Cool article.

[PRZ 34]

awsome good luck !! see u in halloween , catch alot of golds :O

[iMoneyMaker 4,500]

Epic :D

Loved reading it.

[II.Aria.II 16]

hahaa Tofu   

 

Hilarious article like always!  :lol:

Edited October 23, 2017 by II.Aria.II

[Regency 2,099]

"Then there's good old Regency, the classic noob. He knocked on peoples' doors in his bunny wabbit costume asking for candy, only to realize he'd just visited that house five times. Then he'd do it again. He also kept forgetting where he left his bag of candy. He put it down to fix his bunny ears, which kept falling in front of his eyes, and when he straightened them, he had no recollection of what just happened. He must've repeated this process at least ten times before finally remembering it was Halloween, by which time he'd forgotten where he put his bucket of candy."  :ph34r:  :ph34r:  :ph34r:  

[Ms.Awsomer 286]

  If you ever even went outside everyone would walk right back inside.

[Possibility 282]

You forgotteded me... :(

[lukey0 27,543]

Very nice. :LOL:

[Stratosphere 2,234]

This article includes everything about the English community except, Yisroel.Rabin. I'll add you a part for "him".

 

@Yisroel.Rabin was the star of the show, and he was walking all around the place as if he wasn't going to celebrate Halloween, but just take surveys. Apparently he walked from house to house not with a trick-or-treat basket, but a backpack full of pencils and survey forms. He ended up wasting more time sharpening his pencil than actually writing, and he kept glancing at the trick-or-treat baskets full of candy in the hands of passers-by. @Flexoo was keeping a sharp eye on him the whole time, for whatever reason.

Edited October 23, 2017 by Stratosphere

[Destrod 2,634]

Gonna like this topic, regardless of the fact that I helped writing it.

Dun dun dun Na na na

[Ninja 10,468]

"the cool kids in school who always got dem' girls," Ninja and Hate

[Mjro7 2,837]

Epic Work Both  :o

[QuinnP 105]

Can somisne tell me why the legend hates me?

[Tabish 100]

Can somisne tell me why the legend hates me? Yes cause u hate them

[tweezers 1,034]

what harm can a pair of tweezers cause?

 

Day 435: Have successfully lulled them into a false sense of security. Commencing phase two: pull out their hair so that my mind controlling rays will not encounter interference. 

 

Possible exceptions to this scheme: @Yisroel.Rabin has no mind to control, and therefore shall keep his hair. 

 

 

JK JK nice write up lads :P

 

 

[Heles 9,220]

:wacko: Too much orange, hurts my eyes XD

[J.LotheMan 0]

I control everything, #theMan.