On Life and Death

[r_trooll15 827]

On Life and Death

 

~ ~ ~

 

What is the meaning of life
In a world of strife?
Why do we live?
What do we give

To enrich our lives?
Life is full of dives,
Pitfalls and stumble blocks.
All sorts of paradox.

Life and death, entwined together,
Making us feel under the weather.
All sorts of issues,
Just give us some tissues.

In the end, does it matter?
How many feelings do we shatter
With our dishonesty and greed?
We just cut ourselves and bleed

Over and over again.
When will we learn?
When will we stop our pain?
And send our children to us to learn?

Edited February 10, 2018 by r_trooll15

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

- Edits to formatting (added title, font size and style changes)

 

Approved

 

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Nice poem. I really liked some of the rhymes (such as blocks/paradox), and it's definitely some thoughts worth considering. Here's my recommendation though; I think it'd be pretty neat for you to look into some more different rhyme schemes. Right now, all the poems I remember you writing have been mostly AABB, CCDD, EEFF, and so on. Paired rhymes, with the ending word of one sentence rhyming with the ending word of the next. It's a really classic format, and is completely fine to do if you want.

 

However, there are so many more possibilities! AABAB, ABAB, ABCCBA, ABCB, or even barely any rhyming at all and making more of a rhythm! I did notice that you changed the rhyme scheme in the final paragraph, which was really nice.

 

 I just want to encourage you to adventure more is all, since you definitely have the rhyming itself under your belt. But hey, no worries if you just want to do whatever.

Edited February 14, 2018 by Blackdrakon30

[r_trooll15 827]

I was tortured by rhythm in my poems. I find it really hard with rhythm, lol. I feel like rhyme is important to making a poem an actual poem.

I will take everything into consideration. Thanks!!

[kaisdf 3,320]

However, ***there's*** so much more possibilities! AABAB, ABAB, ABCCBA, ABCB, or even barely any rhyming at all and making more of a rhythm!

 

(Ignore the blatant reporter spelling mistake)

 

The once was a man from Perth,

Who was born on the day of his birth.

He was married they say

On his wife's wedding day,

And died on his last day on earth.

Edited February 14, 2018 by kaisdf

[r_trooll15 827]

Nice limerick

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

(Ignore the blatant reporter spelling mistake)

That's a grammar mistake not a spelling mistake nuba.  :ph34r: Even semi-invincible writers have their moments mkay?

[kaisdf 3,320]

That's a grammar mistake not a spelling mistake nuba.  :ph34r: Even semi-invincible writers have their moments mkay?

Not necessarily, but that is what I was trying to say.

[LIMITFULL 1,793]

Keep up the good fight.  At some point around 15-30yo, you'll find what makes you happy and why or how you can make the world a better place in your own unique way...