Poetic Chat (Episode 1)

[ILiveOnTheChatBox123 936]

Poetic Chat

Episode One

'Meet the Chat'

 

Hi readers;

One day I sent a message to my friend Cyber2_0.o:

"I am writing this to ask you if you want to join me on a project we can publish in the AWS. If you are interested please respond so I can give you details of what I have in mind."

 

"And of course I would like to join you on a project. Its summer break isn't it?

-Cyber2"

 

"I meant we just have a conversation instead;

And the other one has to rhyme with what his friend said

 

We can gather the back and forth;

And post it in the AWS for what it is worth.

 

Each segment the owners will switch;

I get the odd ones, I want to make the first pitch.

 

We will have a theme for each edition;

Tell me if it's interesting and you want to listen.

 

In this one we will introduce ourselves and discuss what we like;

Now to you I give the mic.

 

Tell us what we want to hear!"

"Hey there, and just to be clear;

 

I know my username is Cyber, but please don't use this name.

I would prefer something better - like Flame.

 

As for who I am - well you'll have to wait.

I've fended off that question online for 2 years straight!

 

All I'm saying is I might have split personality;

And that's what makes losing my friends an eventuality.

 

I'm just someone who likes to learn useless fluff,

Runes, sign language, and all that stuff.

 

So, um, Chat Box would like to share?

Anything of which we should be aware?"

 

"Thanks Flame, you're doing great.

Now it's my turn to participate.

 

I am called Chat Box - maybe it brings me luck;

Someone coined that abbreviation, and among my friends it stuck.

 

You said that you enjoy sign language stuff;

For me I just find that rough.

 

I hope you realize I like to rhyme.

As long as I find the time.

 

Just like you, I have my own AWS poetry;

But I hope that this will be a hit entry.

 

Now let's discuss our favorite Tanki places."

"Well there's not much to say there - my favorite is attacking enemy bases.

 

With a powerful Hunter overdrive, I can disable anyone - any Titan dome.

There is a whole map out there in which to roam.

 

Sneaking up on players and seeing if they can hide.

Until their hull and my attack collide.

 

Offense of course is my favorite Tanki position.

It raises your score, and usually helps you finish a Daily Mission.

 

So Chat Box what about you?"

"I enjoy playing Assault whether on red or blue.

 

I got reminded the first time I played that game;

I used to play it outdoors - it was almost the same.

 

If you got caught, you didn't die and respawn;

You just had to touch the fence at the front lawn.

 

Anyone can run, no need to carry a flag.

And there was the factor that there was no lag.

 

Now that I play it the Tanki way,

My Isida helps my teammates play.

 

Sometimes, some mults won't wait during a heal;

Some drop a mine - they think I'm the enemy for real.

 

Now this chat is coming to an end.

I hope it was worthwhile the time we did spend."

 

---

 

Author's note - any ideas for future chats would be greatly appreciated. Comment on what topic you'd like us to talk about next.

[kaisdf 3,320]

Article approved.

 

A nice poem(?), I like the twist on classic poems, and you've clearly put effort into making the lines rhyme.

 

A quick note on dashes vs. hyphens - a dash separates two sentence fragments and you should add a space either side, as demonstrated. A hyphen is used when two words are conjoined, for example "double-barrelled".

 

Also, as for different colours for different people talking, it is clear enough as is for that to not be necessary, and would likely end up making the piece look too flashy.

 

Edits:

• Mic, not mike
• Dashes need spaces either side and you tend to use them incorrectly anyway
• Its is possessive, it's is the contraction

[Cyber2_O.o 64]

Article approved.

 

A nice poem(?), I like the twist on classic poems, and you've clearly put effort into making the lines rhyme.

 

A quick note on dashes vs. hyphens - a dash separates two sentence fragments and you should add a space either side, as demonstrated. A hyphen is used when two words are conjoined, for example "double-barrelled".

 

Also, as for different colours for different people talking, it is clear enough as is for that to not be necessary, and would likely end up making the piece look too flashy.

Kaisdf, yes, this is supposed to be a poem of us talking back and forth. As for the rhymes, well to say the least, it was fun thinking of rhymes.

Thanks for the mini-lesson on dashes and hyphens  :).

The dashes were kind of supposed to indicate where someone's part cuts off and where the other one starts, but quotes are okay.

Um, I thought 'it's' means 'it is', right? So technically 'it's summer break, isn't it' is right... Or at least, that was how I was taught. :unsure:

[kaisdf 3,320]

Um, I thought 'it's' means 'it is', right? So technically 'it's summer break, isn't it' is right... Or at least, that was how I was taught. :unsure:

Yes, “it’s” is short for “it is”, but “its” is when something belongs to it - you sometimes used “its” when you meant “it’s”.

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Good poem, for part 2, I shall wait

All in all, the poem was ggrreeaatt

 

 

Well, I tried :D

 

 

Edited July 11, 2019 by Sacrifice

[Cyber2_O.o 64]

Wow, thanks, Sacrifice,

Don't worry, your rhyming was nice!  ;)

Edited July 11, 2019 by Cyber2_O.o

[Person_Random 4,991]

Are we stuck in couplet writing mode?

[Cyber2_O.o 64]

Nah, it's just for fun,

Just to see if it can be done.

 

And Chat Box, it was fun writing this with you;

So does anyone have a request for part two?

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Wow, thanks, Sacrifice,

Don't worry, your rhyming was nice! ;)

Thanks :D

Nah, it's just for fun,

Just to see if it can be done.

 

And Chat Box, it was fun writing this with you;

So does anyone have a request for part two?

Duh.. I do

[Person_Random 4,991]

i dunno but if you want im thinking you can try interviewing people in those and they have to write couplets LOL.... but anyways, it's random being critic time.

 

i liked the whole concept, and it was really cool, like two people rapping.  However, the weirdest thing driving me off the wall was the beat being really off, like one line really short and the next one really long.  Maybe you'd like to revise your work so you can make it flow more, since it's not extremely readable.  Also why not include me jk lol im too busy  Also, chat sounds a little forced, but I'm sure that will be fixed next time.

Edited July 12, 2019 by Person_Random

[Cyber2_O.o 64]

Yes, but I'm not sure that many people would like to (or have the time to) rhyme their way through a 400+ word poem.

 

And the only teacher who've ever mentioned/taught poetic beat was a substitute teacher who by the way also lied to my regular teacher on reading a poem about something weird that she never did. So the only source I have for beat is frankly, a kind of bad source.

[Person_Random 4,991]

Yes, but I'm not sure that many people would like to (or have the time to) rhyme their way through a 400+ word poem.

 

And the only teacher who've ever mentioned/taught poetic beat was a substitute teacher who by the way also lied to my regular teacher on reading a poem about something weird that she never did. So the only source I have for beat is frankly, a kind of bad source.

just try to make the phrases similar length, I never really learned either

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Yes, but I'm not sure that many people would like to (or have the time to) rhyme their way through a 400+ word poem.

 

And the only teacher who've ever mentioned/taught poetic beat was a substitute teacher who by the way also lied to my regular teacher on reading a poem about something weird that she never did. So the only source I have for beat is frankly, a kind of bad source.

If you two ever need help, contact me.. Do I know couplets? Noh. Do I wanna help? Yes.

[ILiveOnTheChatBox123 936]

Okay, I guess somewhat you are right that it would better to keep the syllables more even (especially if you say you like to read it like a rap). But if you are having a conversation, and you are just trying to rhyme, you never kind of notice how the syllables add up.

Either way-thanks for the feedback.