TANKI PLAYER ASSAULTED BY A CARROT - local rubbish news

[iMoneyMaker 4,500]

BREAKING NEWS
carrot on the loose. a tanki player named @classic-style-hiphop hospitalised after being assaulted by a carrot. he is currently under going surgery from his injury's.

 

Hello everyone I am reporter: Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas and I will be reporting today's breaking story

---

Reporter Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas: I'm here with Ben Dofer who was at the scence when the attack happend. So Ben Dover can you please explain to us what happend??

Ben Dofer: We were heading to tankis bday party
And nat told me to go ahead cuz he wanted to use the bathroom at a farm nearby
Not long after that I heard screaming

Reporter Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas: What happend next?
Ben Dofer: When I rushed there to see whats happening. Nat was stabbed and the carrot was running and rolling

Reporter Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas: You're telling me that a carrot stabbed a tank?
Ben Dofer: It's a carrot they are pointy

Reporter Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas: so how did the carrot look like?
Ben Dofer: well im glad you asked, i managed to take this pic of the carrot

 

Reporter Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas: so do you have a message for your friend @classic-style-hiphop who was assaulted by this carrot and is now in hospital?
Ben Dofer: yea ofc i do, remember to pay me back my money which you are using to pay your hospital bill

Accourding to our witness @Adel aka Ben Dofer, it has been confirmed that this piece of evidence was also found on the scene: 


This evidence might indicate that the carrot's accomplice might be the infamous well known troll @Maf, he has been seen roaming around the farm a couple of days before, checking out the cows. We think it may be some how connected to the famous Moof incident but we don't want to assume things which aren't fuled by evidence. We still dont know for sure if he is connected to the assault. But we will let you know once we get more information.

Additionally, the farmer who owns the farm is still our main suspect. We believe that he could be a a cray scientist trying out crazy experiments. One of this experiments lead to the Serial Killer Carrot. 

The farmer is a 5 foot tall healthy young man belonging to Russia. When we knocked on the house near by, the crazy old man who came outside a pony tail that could not go un-noticed. It shocked us to see how much this farmer guy resembled Hazel, the TO developer. 

We have suspicions about TO Developers team. It could be one of their secret agendas to depopulate tankers community by causing mass murders from a serial killer carrot.

We ask you to be aware for any suspicious carrots, the carrot is still at large, lock your doors and stay inside. We'll keep you update! 

Incase anyone has been confronted by this wild carrot or seen him running around. We recommend you do not approach it as it may assault you and you will probably end up in hospital. So once again please do not approach the carrot. Incase you do see the carrot please call a Battle Moderator at 020 666 999.

We also request you to pray for our friend nat. He is in a very bad condition, even though doctors are optimistic he will survive. We still need your prayers. 

ONE LIKE = ONE PRAYER

ONE COMMENT = TEN PRAYERS

THIS IS LOCAL RUBBISH NEWS SINGING OUT.

---

 

Written by: 
@Adel 
@Oliver
@iMoneyMaker
@Pun

@Sacrifice

 

 

 

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Approved!

 

Most definitely a good piece to read with plenty of humour. I would have appreciated if it could've been a bit longer though!

[Adel 567]

This is the most terrifying near death experience I've had in my life! and I live in Iraq.

[xMarkus 388]

Great!

[Lose 881]

Where is the carrot now?

[Adel 567]

1 minute ago, Lose said:

Where is the carrot now?

According to our source, it was last seen running away from the trap TOPD sat for it in sandbox, we didn't see Maf anywhere, we suspect he has a mole in the TOPD. 

 

[Venem 615]

LOL nice piece of writng...

[Sacrifice 2,278]

18 minutes ago, Lose said:

Where is the carrot now?

Newspaper reporter lounch, please call for he-

[Venem 615]

53 minutes ago, Sacrifice said:

Newspaper reporter lounch, please call for he-

 

Don't worry, @Sacrifice has just sacrificed himself to save everyone else from the Carr- 

 

Edited June 8, 2020 by SHREYA88

[Venem 615]

1 hour ago, Lose said:

Where is the carrot now?

The Carrot is on the "lose" now...

It appears to have "lost" itself on @Sacrifice...

I managed to escape. However, the Carrot looks a bit different now.... It's got sharp canines instead of the flat incisors...

EDIT:

Spoiler

It was on Sandbox, but don't you think it might have buried itself in the greenery there? I did notice some peculiar outgrowth and some holes, but who knows, @Adel says there is a "mole"....

 

Edited June 8, 2020 by SHREYA88

[natrolite 1,049]

I'd like to comfort most people by telling them that I am doing well. The experience was certainly traumatic, and I still spaz whenever I glance at unsuspecting carrots in the markets. I've gotten away with stab wounds in my back and abdomen, and I've already given my report to the battle moderators police.

Furthermore, I'd like to take this chance to holler at my fellow victims; carrot abuse is real, people. People go through this experience on a daily basis and we need to reach out to our higher ups and demand justice. We need to stand together to face a greater evil. But then again, we need to be careful on who we seek help from, because as the *cough* lovely, self-respecting reporters had pointed out there could be a systemic deep-rooted infestation of carrot-supporters. The infamous Maf, for all we know, could very well be implicated in these crimes, with more lurking in the shadows as well. 

Demand justice! #NatsLivesMatter.

[Venem 615]

4 minutes ago, classic-style-hiphop said:

I'd like to comfort most people by telling them that I am doing well. The experience was certainly traumatic, and I still spaz whenever I glance at unsuspecting carrots in the markets. I've gotten away with stab wounds in my back and abdomen, and I've already given my report to the battle moderators police.

Furthermore, I'd like to take this chance to holler at my fellow victims; carrot abuse is real, people. People go through this experience on a daily basis and we need to reach out to our higher ups and demand justice. We need to stand together to face a greater evil. But then again, we need to be careful on who we seek help from, because as the *cough* lovely, self-respecting reporters had pointed out there could be a systemic deep-rooted infestation of carrot-supporters. The infamous Maf, for all we know, could very well be implicated in these crimes, with more lurking in the shadows as well. 

Demand justice! #NatsLivesMatter.

Glad you're okay! #NatsLivesMatter

Spoiler

True though... Moles and Carrots have a sinister alliance...

Edited June 8, 2020 by SHREYA88

[Oliver 286]

I am literally shaking right now... Scared to join any battles

[Maf 32,300]

That's how the mafia works

[natrolite 1,049]

29 minutes ago, Maf said:

That's how the mafia works

[Pun 902]

I am so pround of this community

[Venem 615]

13 hours ago, classic-style-hiphop said:

I'd like to comfort most people by telling them that I am doing well. The experience was certainly traumatic, and I still spaz whenever I glance at unsuspecting carrots in the markets. I've gotten away with stab wounds in my back and abdomen, and I've already given my report to the battle moderators police.

Furthermore, I'd like to take this chance to holler at my fellow victims; carrot abuse is real, people. People go through this experience on a daily basis and we need to reach out to our higher ups and demand justice. We need to stand together to face a greater evil. But then again, we need to be careful on who we seek help from, because as the *cough* lovely, self-respecting reporters had pointed out there could be a systemic deep-rooted infestation of carrot-supporters. The infamous Maf, for all we know, could very well be implicated in these crimes, with more lurking in the shadows as well. 

Demand justice! #NatsLivesMatter.

Perhaps you should take @Mr.Nibbles along wherever you go....

Rumor has it that he is actually a rabbit....

He'd love to nibble on a carrot or two... 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

For those of you wondering "Why is the grammar so bad, nub reporters". The Serial killer carrot threatened us to keep the grammar bad or face consequences.. Dunno y..

[Venem 615]

5 minutes ago, Sacrifice said:

For those of you wondering "Why is the grammar so bad, nub reporters". The Serial killer carrot threatened us to keep the grammar bad or face consequences.. Dunno y..

Indeed? And what were the consequences? *sigh* Grammar has always been a problem for most.... hasn't it?

[Thiedes 1,106]

well that was rubbish. 

[Gauss-Hornet 489]

Hmm... so now we know for sure carrots don't like classic style hip-hop. Maybe they like jazz instead... it's just grate. 

Spoiler

 

[Venem 615]

20 minutes ago, Thiedes said:

well that was rubbish. 

That's a really nice perspective.... I like it! 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

2 hours ago, Gauss-Hornet said:

Hmm... so now we know for sure carrots don't like classic style hip-hop. Maybe they like jazz instead... it's just grate. 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

Or "Rock" Let us not confine ones choice of music to two categories only

[Venem 615]

2 minutes ago, Sacrifice said:

Or "Rock" Let us not confine ones choice of music to two categories only

Aaaand you've effectively confined your choices of music to 3 categories only....

[Gauss-Hornet 489]

9 hours ago, Sacrifice said:

Or "Rock" Let us not confine ones choice of music to two categories only

Rock is hard, carrots are soft. They don't go well with each other.

But yeah, if I do encounter the killer carrot, I'll first ask for it's taste in music. Then I'll probably run.