interview [Fools] How to Read

[Venerable 2,969]

Greetings, Tanker! Read on!

 

I like how you don't know how to read mate

But look, I'm telling you, it's never late

Start learning how to read, don't give up mate

You can't read a book? Well, I can't relate.

 

Mate, all you have to do is read this guide

This guide's the best, a fact no one can hide

You'll master the art of reading for sure

and understand this verse, furthermore.

 

That's it, my friend - there's nothing more.

Reading's pretty easy, don't be an eyesore

Don't whine and cry and sob and wail -

Just read this guide, you're bound to fail.

 

With this natty introduction out of the way, allow me to lead you all to the main objective of this highly comprehensive and exuberantly elaborate enchiridion on the subject of utmost importance in the lives of lowly creatures of this planet, "reading".

Spoiler

 

 

 

Acknowledgements:

Spoiler

 

I am grateful to the Antarctic God of Lexicography for granting me permission to teach you all an extremely sacred and precious art - the Noble Art of Reading.

I would also like to thank the Pacific Demon of Bibliophilia for giving me the necessary training to teach the untaught the basics of comprehending written content with utmost ease, and of course, without the slightest trace of difficulty, which clearly implies that if certain pathetic untaught creatures are unable to make sense of my excellent discourse on the immensely indispensable art of perusal, they are, without the tiniest trace of atrocious doubt, absolute failures. 

Fantastic as it may seem, this particular work is extremely long and has outlived many a proofreader, much to the consternation of my beloved administrators. And hence, fellow creatures of this insignificant planet in the universe of heavenly bodies, the actual contents of this fabulous treatise had to be enclosed in a collapsible box, also known as a "spoiler" in highly technical nomenclature. I thank all martyred proofreaders and bamboozled administrators profusely for supporting me throughout this zealous endeavor. Rest in Pieces.

And finally, you all must be expecting me to thank you. But thank god you cannot read, so I won't thank you. Have a pathetic day. 

 

*In case you're still wondering, the spoiler above this one has all the necessary instructions which you must follow in order to read and comprehend written or typed out text with absolute ease and success.

 

 

[Dr.Isida 526]

Thank you so much!121111!!1!! I've learnt how to finally read! 

[a-pr0-from-greece 22]

Know I now Hou to rite end speok engliss

[ksi 4]

O MY GUD!!!!! i lurnde haouw rid naow!!! thex venarble