esports N.O.O.B University - Important Message about your Application Status

[Person_Random 4,991]

Greetings, Tanker!

It is with a loud sigh and a fake sneeze that we inform you that you have been admitted to N.O.O.B University under your fifty-seventh choice major a Bachelors of Technology in Architecture, specifically under the Textwall Construction program. It is probably the only acceptance letter you'll receive - all the other schools we have communicated with have gleefully rejected you. Well, at least you still got into a school, so congratulations for that?

In our #13 ranked nationally acclaimed program of just nine schools that offer this major, you will learn a wealth of new knowledge that will serve nicely when you go on to graduate and serve as a personal Gold Box dropper for CashOut. 

Our state-of-the-art ten year bachelor's degree residence program includes a premium course and program design created directly by our president of the university, Lotsa Artikel.

Should you choose to accept (which you will probably have to given that you have at least one living parent or guardian who might kick you out of the house on your next birthday), you will start with the Noobism Summer Internship program. Knowing that you might have skipped out on at least a couple of your classes, you might need a refresher course on how to read. You'll get all of that and more in our first-year immersion program.

More information on the Noobism Summer Reading Program - How To Read

We've also reviewed your stats and realized that you qualify for the exclusive N.O.O.B. Society within our school. This is a special society where you will learn to lower your K/D. You have been spending too much time sweating and too little time enjoying the sun. We highly suggest that you join the club and learn the fine arts of sabotage and noobishness with this all-in-one crash course:

More Information Here

Even better news - our signature course, taught by none other than the Big Cheez himself, kaisdf, is the amazing course about drivemanship - Navigating like a Professional Titan. Or was it Hunter? Hopper? Eughhhhh... I don't remember which hull he mentioned, but maybe register anyways? I heard they might be givng away free crystals later.

More Information Here
 

You have also qualified for the Baguette Studies Minor. We are ashamed to be the first and only school to run this minor, but despite our shame, we have had enough time to poke holes in our paper bag faces to prepare some amazing courses for you. These are a couple of our new additions we're at least 50% sure that you'll enjoy:

Unfortunately, the Baguette Juggling course that has been awfully popular in the past years has been discontinued due to an accidental dismemberment of the limbs by a poor Professor I. Kant Aime. We wish him a wonderful and restful retirement. However, we do have other courses for you, including this all-in-one Noob Guide for spending your time in Baguettelandia (during your 6-month required study abroad program):

More Information Here

But wait - there's more. Your lack of achievements has earned the pity of the admissions committee, and in turn, you have been ungratefully given the following scholarships from the College Of Noobs Technology Expression STandardS (C.O.N.T.E.STS.). Behold:

Open the Door: It's very simple. Just open the door. Assuming you have enough intelligence. (Your exam records say otherwise, but we have tremendous faith in you) 

Find Out if You Qualify Here

Name Your Prize: Get the new OP item of your dreams. As long as you continue to adhere to the code of Noob.

Find Out if You Qualify Here

Play to Win: Gamble, lose, cry, and win some scholarships. Good luck!

Find Out if You Qualify Here

Comment être un Noob: Two words: Gold Boxes - any noob can fail to catch one if they try hard enough. Fail harder for more points. The player with the best fail wins the grand prize.

Free Golds Here
 

Once again, we would like to congratulate you for at least being admitted to one university. Celebrate with us here:

 

You have until April 1st to accept the admissions offer and submit the 2 000 Tankoin non-refundable deposit. Term begins March 31st. Until then, stay Wise Pizza strong. We hope to see you on campus soon.

Regretfully,

Assault_Drone

Associate Dean of Admissions, N.O.O.B. University.

By accepting and paying the non-refundable deposit, you agree to change your name to "The_Biggest_Noob_XXX". Thank you for your purchase!

 

[Person_Random 4,991]

Happy Fool's Day, and welcome to the school of N.O.O.B! 

[Towns 574]

Sorry, but the university admission fee is way too large, so I can't join

[poke971 211]

On 3/17/2021 at 10:56 PM, Assault Drone said:

_

You did not.

[a-pr0-from-greece 22]

Noo, My mum don't want to go to this college. Tuition fees are expensive . Cya guys

[poke971 211]

2 hours ago, Towns said:

Sorry, but the university admission fee is way too large, so I can't join

pain

[tankiskopro 0]

oww aynen

 

 

[Mend 35]

Personal dropper for CashOut? No thanks, I'd rather keep those golds to myself

Edited April 1, 2021 by Mend

[Incorp 2,084]

On 3/18/2021 at 5:56 AM, Person_Random said:

By accepting and paying the non-refundable deposit, you agree to change your name to "The_Biggest_Noob_XXX". Thank you for your purchase!

 

never noticed this until yesterday xD