A Thought: Why does this hurt so much?

[Karot 251]

Sheesh its been several hours since this topic was posted

[Catbird 117]

My knowledge of your situation is obviously quite limited, and I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through all that. I think the difficult thing about being in an important position (like you are with esports and as a reporter) is that in such a context one is expected to be "professional", meaning that you can't express your emotions freely even though it would be only natural to do so. What's terrible with this is that in some work environments that could potentially lead to an environment where speaking out is equated with being unprofessional.

People are more often than not immature. And so even if you try to be diplomatic and polite, that they didn't react particularly well (to say the least) is sadly not surprising. You shouldn't feel like it's your fault that you feel bad, these things are hard to take (so I hard disagree with the idea someone else expressed that you're "letting it" get to you).. It's also important to realize that it's impossible to "decide" how you feel (as I'm sure you already know) only how you deal with it. I don't know how I can help concretely, all I can say is your feelings are valid, which is cliché as heck, but I believe it's true. 

(sorry if I'm posting 18 hours after this topic was created, I just read it now for the first time)

Edited April 7, 2021 by Catbird

[Devoid 2,601]

9 minutes ago, Catbird said:

What's terrible with this is that in some work environments that could potentially lead to an environment where speaking out is equated with being unprofessional.

Bingo, you hit the nail right on the head with that one.

I could recount several examples from my time in the Helper community, but I know my post will be hidden at that point, so I'll just leave it open for interpretation. All I'll say is people are excellent at masking and hiding their true thoughts and emotions under a cloak of passive aggression...

Edited April 7, 2021 by CageTheElephant
Rephrased.

[Person_Random 4,991]

34 minutes ago, Catbird said:

 

I really liked that point about speaking out = unprofessional. I get that a lot - I see my mom getting frustrated over other people's poor decisions over work and arguing or losing control as she wants to better the project, but it is viewed as a poor way to react.

But isn't reacting better than not doing so? If you're going north from San Francisco to Los Angeles (a north-south route, blame my Cali roots for the geography lesson ), then isn't it better to speak out and know that you're going on the wrong path before it's too late and you end up in the next state, out of money and with a lot more problems?

Indeed, that reminds me of another story. I was new to my position. At the moment, I was helping out a player on the Tanki Online Discord and I wasn't quite sure what the support email was. So I decided to ask some other helpers what the support email was so that I could confirm. I got my answer quickly and proceeded to help a player with the information; however, shortly after the answer, one person said "how could you not know it?", and indeed, it ruined my mood as the culmination of these actions did above. 

The difference here and there is that that time, I didn't speak out. I thought it was wrong then, and I kept in how I felt awful. Instead, whenever I had a question, I felt like wetting my paints. I felt scared to ask. I didn't want to be ridiculed by other people for not knowing something that was supposed to be common knowledge. This led to myself stopping myself from helping people in the Tanki Online Discord - I didn't want to run into another "how could you not know" moment. Whereas before I had some free time and liked to help out in the "support" chat in the server, I stopped since I felt scared of failing and feeling a lack of self worth.

Now let's say if I knew that I had the right to speak out. Take 16 year old Random back to the same situation last year, and instead of walking away and being scared as I did before, I would tell the person who said these comments that these aren't the right words to say. I'm a new helper (well, at the time) and to make me feel unwelcome when I was trying to confirm some information is not something that a more experienced helper should do. With this stance instead of my shy reply of "I'm sorry" and walking away, everything would be different. I would not be scared to ask a question in front of other helpers and may have continued helping in the support channel, and honestly, it might have been a lot better.

I would only wish that this conversation opens up some of these perspectives and encourages us to be more proactive and positive when facing such situations.

[Devoid 2,601]

7 minutes ago, Person_Random said:

I'm a new helper (well, at the time) and to make me feel unwelcome when I was trying to confirm some information is not something that a more experienced helper should do. With this stance instead of my shy reply of "I'm sorry" and walking away, everything would be different. I would not be scared to ask a question in front of other helpers and may have continued helping in the support channel, and honestly, it might have been a lot better.

Yep, same thing happened to me.

Back when I first became a Helper, I had some similarly unwelcoming experiences, unsurprisingly all of them were with eSports Players turned eSports Helpers. I'm sorry I don't know everything about eSports because I don't only work/play in that environment, but does that make it okay to call me degrading names? And what's great is I reported such scenarios and people got off with a simple warning, even though such people were addressed in the past for similar circumstances and were made aware that repeated offenses would lead to disciplinary actions being taken...

[Watermelon 86]

Just remember you can threaten to kill off the reporting section because you're the only one keeping it alive with hot articles

[Devoid 2,601]

1 minute ago, Watermelon said:

Just remember you can threaten to kill off the reporting section because you're the only one keeping it alive with hot articles

That would probably satisfy people criticizing Person_Random though

Maybe keeping it alive and well would be the best way of spiting such people, showing them that their opinions don't matter

[Watermelon 86]

2 minutes ago, CageTheElephant said:

That would probably satisfy people criticizing Person_Random though

Maybe keeping it alive and well would be the best way of spiting such people, showing them that their opinions don't matter

Oh shiza, I didnt think of that. Lemme say sum else. @Person_Random Remember, you can "accidentally" disqualify people from contests

[Devoid 2,601]

5 minutes ago, Watermelon said:

Remember, you can "accidentally" disqualify people from contests

Yes, that's always a possible option (as GG_reg did with me after I enraged him by uploading a video about him), but some people aren't as quick to utilize their power in this way due to the ethics behind it, and I know Person_Random wouldn't do it because I know her morals from working with her.

Besides that, what if certain individuals that criticized her work aren't participating in contests? Always got to account for that possibility... 

[Spy 14,687]

The discussion has reached its end.

Thread closed.