[Issue 42] The Unemployed Column #4

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

 

4 Issues down, the Unemployed Column is going strong! Time to see our next wave of job vacancies and see if you match the requirements. And additionally, don't forget to check out an opportunity to be the one writing the job list instead of reading it!

 

Security Guard

Noise

 

Your name is self-explanatory : you will need a Mammoth of the highest degree, and an eye for anyone with the flag. Special attention should be paid to flags of the other team, and you MUST guard your flag with your life, as if it is your own. So much so that should you allow anyone else to touch it with the opponents' flag, it will be punishable by pushing you off the ledge. A job with minimal psychological needs, it can be applied for even by candidates despising teamwork. Must be prepared to put up with accusations of 'mult' and 'noob'; after all, it's for a noble cause.

 

Welder
Garage

Due to the increased demand for XT equipment, more welders are needed to attach the external metal and chrome plates. You must be available, on call,  in the event of a player being close to finishing his/her mission. Garage is neither heated or cooled and the equipment is aged (trying to get a new space, but that's not any time soon). A developed tolerance for the smoke byproduct that will accumulate (0% ventilation). Must provide your own protective equipment; helmet, long sleeve jacket, gloves. Don't hesitate to apply, you'll get somewhere above the minimum wage.

 

Diplomat

Server Chat

 

Good use of English is not a very big issue here, one just needs to know a few basic sentences like 'add me friend' and 'admin gold pls'. Ignorance of major and minor insults in English/Russian is a must. An indomitable optimism is what is being looked for here, you get emotional for a second, and poof, your job is gone. Must type friendly words in chat until told to shut up, and the most hated diplomats each month will be awarded a paint giving -50% protection from all turrets. Ain't that bait enough?

 

Coroner
Anti-Hack Division

Rumor has it that a new hack has run a muck in the servers. Few credible evidences have been provided by witnesses, but we have to be sure, just in case. We need to hire back some investigators who are specialized in locating and getting to the bottom of doubtful occurrences of tank deaths that occur within the game. Must have a sharp eye for detail, one who dare uses magnifying glasses on the computer screen. A background in moderation would be advised (but not likely that you will get powers). You must reach a verdict as quick as possible.

Which position are you going for?

Edited October 15, 2015 by Vikingsrallentando

[Darren4Turbo 4,913]

I'm a Diplomat  :lol:

[Helindu_2014 830]

Welder :)

[Hex 11,520]

Security Guard ^^

Nice article, btw!

[Penguin40 1,714]

Security Guard.

[TheGoldenTanker 4,951]

I'm a Diplomat  :lol:

Same :P

[Sgt.Shultz 101]

Lol I think I am a coroner...

[Dgrif12 0]

um... can i apply for... hmm.. lets see... Diplomat?

[npc5 3]

d1pl0m@t 4 l1fe   :D

[fighterej 1]

Diplomat

[Paco_Geo 5]

Diplomat :D

[mallampati 14]

Coroner

[DihanGoh 97]

i am  a Diplomat

[Quarks 2,255]

Diplomat

[Penguin40 1,714]

Security Guard.

[Nikosking2000 0]

Coroner

[yoyo360_GTO 265]

Security Guard.

Securit guard

[BDAWGSWAG 11]

Guard Dog

[Youargoingtodie 2]

I am Coroner  :)

[danstar48 18]

coroner

[QAZrdx123 4]

DIPLOMAT ​​

[christaferMoriyarty 6]

Coroner
Anti-Hack Division

[xgamer932 0]

Security Guard

[asifmehmood 1,576]

Wow I like that we must know basic sentences of English admin gold pls,add me friend nice dude this is good n alos funny

[Tisko_unbeatable 3]

Player Tisko_unbeatable has been banned FOREVER. Reason: phishing, fraud and advertising of malicious sites and resources.