[Issue 48] Female Tankers: Myth vs. Reality

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

 

 

So you're going about your day having a fine time in Tanki, whipping up on some luckless souls in a Sandbox DM when, *gasp horror of horrors, it happens!!1!!!1111!!!!!
A tanker with an obviously female nickname shows up in your battle.
"H-how?!?" you stutter. "W-why?!?"
For a moment, you sit and consider. Then your fingers slowly find and tap letters into chat.
"You a grl?"
You cringe. It's so blatant, so obvious just sitting there. Still, you cannot believe your eyes and need confirmation. There is a long pause, but finally, the tanker in question rolls gently to a stop.
"Yes."
Your jaw drops open and you could swear that Beethoven's Ode to Joy just started playing in the background. You thank your lucky stars for this portentous omen and eagerly open chat. You have so much to say, so many words that want to come pouring out. You type and type, refining and reworking the sentence because you want it to be perfect. 

"You want to date me?"

***

Alright, so the above scene is dramatized, and comes with a large serving of comic relief on the side, but for tankers of the female gender, varying takes on this...situation...are an all-too-familiar recurrence. In fact, it's become quite clear that your average Joe is absolutely clueless when it comes to dealing with players of the opposite gender. So, @Phoenix-Warbird and myself, outstanding and lifetime members of the prestigious TO Girls Division are going to do you all a favor and attempt to let you in on the truth about the female tanker's psyche. The following collaboratory effort is a frank rebuttal of some commonly-held, usually-untrue myths that are giving girls a bad rep. Please, however, note we are not trying to make this a 'boys vs. girls' thing. We have both met some awesome, amazing guys on TO... but also had exchanges that left us flabbergasted, shaking with laughter, and downright offended. So let's get right to it. With Night-Sisters writing under blue, and Pho, green, here are some of the most hilarious assumptions we've come across in our years playing Tanki.


Myth: Girls don't play Tanki.

Reality: My dear readers. The mere fact that I, Night-Sisters, a female...niña...puella...belle fille, am co-authoring this article from the happy rank of General issimo (yeah, I wish :mellow:) means that this is an absurd and completely false assumption. On occasion, I am capable of dragging myself away from my fabulously extensive shoe collection, nail polish, and hair curlers, and actually spend time in-game...playing Tanki. I understand that this is a novel, somewhat revolutionary concept, but let's face it: tanks just don't get to be Gissimos by themselves.

Honestly, it's rather funny to come upon some poor, luckless soul in battle who thinks that Tanki is a "boys-only" game, especially when this sentiment gets vocalized aloud in chat.


Myth: Girls are bad at Tanki.

Reality: I would suggest that you not repeat this particular myth in mixed company, as any female present is liable to take you aside, deliver a swiftly comprehensive thrashing, and leave your shattered tank remains with a D/L ratio that is painful to behold. To measure skill by gender instead of proficiency is, frankly, ignorant, and refusing to destroy or fight a girl because she is female is one of the most idiotic things I've ever come across. Like anything else, cultivation of gaming ability takes time, practice, thought, and dedication. Gender is definitely not on that list, so if a girl does happen to be playing poorly, it's because she didn't put in the necessary effort...not because she was hardwired with an inability to play MMOs.  


Myth: Girls play Tanki to find a boyfriend.

Reality: PUH-LEEZE.
(clears throat) There is a difference between playing and finding a boyfriend, and playing in order to find one. The idea that girls are part of TO to seek out a boyfriend is very flawed judgment.

True, a girl might play to find a boyfriend, and a boy might also play to find a girlfriend. The chances of each having these goals are actually just about equal. Yes, while Tanki is not a dating site, it does contain romantic couples who have met in-game. There has been quite a bit of controversy over this subject that I do not wish to delve into. I will however clarify that not all girls who have found a boyfriend in Tanki, were even expecting to. I speak from experience. Have you considered that maybe, just maybe a girl could be playing TO in order to have fun being a tanker? A tanker, not somebody who’s desperate to date nearly any guy she meets - and that, as you may be aware, is not always phrased so politely.

It might seem this way just because a larger fraction of the females are in Tanki relationships than males. In truth, you cannot compare the percentage of girls dating to that of boys, because they greatly outnumber the girls. For example, let’s say there are 2 Tanki couples within a clan that contains 10 boys and 2 girls. That means two girls and two boys are in relationships. 100% of the females are therefore ‘taken’, while only 20% of the males are. So tankers, even if more of the girls in Tanki are dating, they are not all in it for some love interest.

PS: uh, when you do come across ‘13-year-old girls’ who are ‘looking for a boyfriend’, they’re almost definitely lying about themselves k.


Myth: Girls play Tanki to get attention.

Reality: I personally play Tanki, not out of any distorted need for attention, but because I enjoy the game. I love the tactics involved in gameplay; the shaky adrenaline rush when a gold box drops; the satisfaction of making a perfect shot. And from what I've observed, that interest in actually playing Tanki is why girls generally stick around on the servers. I of course, cannot speak to the gaming motivations of every single female player. And there are those who do play this game for the attention they get. However, I can say, that if you've made this particular generalization about girls then you've probably fallen into the trap of viewing the ridiculousness in EN9 -or any main server chat- as the "norm."
Trust me, it's not. You'll find the girls who are actually worth getting to know, the ones who enjoy playing the game, doing exactly that; playing the game.

 

Myth: Girls hav bad speling.

Reality: Laughable. Your gender doesn’t have anything to do with your spelling skills. It is true that people do not always correctly spell words - be it purposely or not - but it is wrong to isolate girls just because they might seem to misspell more frequently than boys, because that is not even close to true. It’s quite embarrassing for somebody to honestly believe such a myth, where girls are seemingly inferior to boys in this way. I get a kick out of too often seeing people actually agree with it.

 

Myth: Girls has bad grammer.

Reality: No, like, much girlz actually has bad grammar. Me kno much slang and do big confuse with words. This why I becomes reporter.


Myth: Girls are stupid.

Reality: Don't. You. Dare.


Myth: Girls use a "wimpy" combo.

Reality: Allow me to indulge in a bit of psychoanalysis here. On a Tanki-wide level, Isida, Hornet, and In Love paint is considered the typical "girl's combo," perhaps due to the fact that Isida is the lone weapon that can be used passively. A girl can zip around healing and supporting her team, earn a passable amount of experience, and hardly have to make any kills at all. This ties in quite neatly with the "girls are bad at Tanki" mindset and the whole "healing angel" thing is actually a nice little train of thought.

The only problem?

It's absolutely false. 

The combos that girls use are as numerous and varied as the girls themselves. Sure, some of them might use Isida, but there are others -many others- packing Thunder/Viking, Twins/Dict, Shaft/Hornet...and the list goes on. Stereotypes can be hard to see past...but you don't just have to take my word for it. Doubters are more than welcome to come meet the business end of my M4 Railgun on the battlefield, and then we'll see just who is really hosting the so-called "wimpy" combo. ;)  

 

***

 

And there you have it. A few of the chart-topping myths and stereotypes that girls have dealt with for years.

Obviously, it is foolish to assume that all, or even most guys, when dealing with a female, make the above generalizations, (hey look, yet another stereotype <_<.) however, Pho and myself can both say from personal experience that a surprising number do...in fact, it's something that female players have become pretty well used to.

 

So guys, here's some advice: When push comes to shove, girls just want to be treated with the respect due to any fellow human being. So the next time you meet a girl in battle, talk to her and try to get to know her. She will most likely appreciate your effort and endeavor to respond in kind.

 

 

 

 

 

@Phoenix-Warbird

 

and

 

@Night-Sisters

 

[Zenyth 6,494]

Excellent yet again. Eye-opening for some boys out there.

Specially liked the intro, and the parts about "wimpy" combo and "girls don't play tanki". :)

[I.Devastation 2,053]

Something like this may have been nice;

but other than that good article k

 

BTW im a 14 year old girl looking for bf !!!

[Rayyan 3,415]

Plej no lie girlz r nubz

 

 

JK all r awesome

but really isida on big maps like solumask... hy6

 

 

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

I've seen some people in the chat that ought to read this.

[awsmeplayer 59]

Something like this may have been nice;

but other than that good article k

 

BTW im a 14 year old girl looking for bf !!!

Uhem...

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Nice Article! May I ask how you do the Title for your Articles? It's somethin I really lack in my Articles ... The visual attractiveness.

[Lhamster 4,081]

The cover style pic at the top is something I made. Very basic, just a png of the title in a font in GIMP.

[Sr.I3oSS 2,546]

Nice article.

[wow349 4]

Naice arttucle gurl!! xD

[KillerGnat 3,135]

Please EN 9 population! Read this! Especially the part about how most 13 year old "girls" that are in every way perfect, are in reality *gasp* not girls.

[fordmustang12345 3,910]

GIRLS ARE STUPID! *hides in a nuclear Bunker waiting for the impact of Ms.RAGE*

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

^

[fordmustang12345 3,910]

What does "^" mean?

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Well, some are some aren't. You probably are not  (or so I feel) but where I live, there are some pretty stupid girls. THe talk explicit content, behave wierdly, act like some random youtuber and go too the principal to call him an *****

[Hex 11,520]

I once played a Sandbox 1v1 CTF with a girl ;)

Left battle crying...

 

 

Jk, no.

 

 

[kostas604 106]

I once played a madness dm with a girl and a random noob guy.

I left battle crying. :(

 

Lol, jk. I never quit battles :P... But she crushed me...

[beaku 2,656]

Already knew most of the stuff considering that Hornet, Isida and In Love was my favorite combo for a LONG time. :p

[Podey_the_Buster 87]

Myth: Girls hav bad speling.

 

Actully boys haf bad spelig. :P 

[Mistalee 1,337]

GIRLS ARE STUPID! *hides in a nuclear Bunker waiting for the impact of Ms.RAGE*

:o

[Superlative 500]

I actually though Phoenix-Warbird was a boy. :P 

[Lord-of-the-Snipers 1,620]

I actually though Phoenix-Warbird was a boy. :P

And I actually never care if I 'm playing Tanki with a boy or a girl.

 

Not shooting at a girl Tanker must be one of the dumbest things

I ever heard.

Imagine that you as a male would enter a compete female Tanki

battle and nobody would shoot at you...ooh, what fun...not!

 

Yep, there are differences in real life which makes life a lot

more interesting...but in Tanki: we are equal.

Edited February 7, 2016 by Lord-of-the-Snipers

[Superlative 500]

Not shooting at a girl Tanker must be one of the dumbest things

I ever heard.

+ 

[yk88 577]

Though i am sad to admit it, boys have the wort spelling in the world....

[yk88 577]

And I actually never care if I 'm playing Tanki with a boy or a girl.

 

Not shooting at a girl Tanker must be one of the dumbest things

I ever heard.

Imagine that you as a male would enter a compete female Tanki

battle and nobody would shoot at you...ooh, what fun...not!

 

Yep, there are differences in real life which makes life a lot

more interesting...but in Tanki: we are equal.

But remeber you can try and pick up grls with raps/poems on the forum