How to Join the Noob Army

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Main Article

How to Join the Noob Army

 

Welcome. Where? To the place where we live...

Who are we? The Noob Army. We are a group of people with the ability to be completely noob. || Very few people meet our requirements. Who am I? I will be your inspector. Good luck...

 

And expect someone like me to come with a remark such as, "How do I join up??" I bet you asked that too. I know you wanna be a noob too! Those 5 -- wait, make it 10 -- types of noobs I have posted about in my writing career... it's time to become ALL of them!

 

1. Ask annoying questions.

What's the most annoying question? That's hard. Definitely not "was gold?" Try something more like "how to turn turret?" Remember, never use grammar or capitalization, and make it short, instead of "How do I turn my turret?". Always use punctuation, to punctuate the hope that the Noob Army is just a myth!

 

2. Make them mad.

Of course, asking "was gold" doesn't make you noob at all if you scored first in a 1 hour Polygon CP and had a KDR of over 9000. You've got to do something to make them mad. Steal a pickup when you don't need it and they do? Exactly. Push them into the void? Sure! Anyway, here's a state-of-the-art example:

pushed, rekt, owww... Rekt! Now I'm one step closer to getting to the Noob Army!

 

3. Insult them.

When you push them off - I mean, they ruin a play, obviously, - what do you do? Obviously, you shower them with verbal abuse so they leave and so you get more of the fund! Anyway, having a good flame war just makes them mad. And then they leave!

 

(Note from author: Don't do this, if you do this I will push you into the void k.)

 

Just follow my tips, and I think you'll do fine for the testing of applicants for the Noob Army!

 

Hello again. I see the work you've done. You seem to be a brilliantly crafted and well-learned - oh, who am I kidding, noobs are never well learned - and you are a perfect fit for us. Pushing that professional @BLASTER872 off... You have served me well. Your master @tweezers is satisfied with his revenge...

 

For now.

 

Hey everyone, thank you for reading this article! Keep turning your turrets, and this is BLASTER872...

logging out.

[tweezers 1,034]

I didn't order that assassination  :ph34r:

[M-axis 589]

lol....pretty nice article, although on the short side, really enjoyed it, especially the assassination of my eminence :P   

[Phoenix.Raised 5,992]

голд бил in this clan? :D

[BLASTER872 1,892]

I didn't order that assassination  :ph34r:

Your subordinate did  :ph34r:

 

But batman saved me k

 

lol....pretty nice article, although on the short side, really enjoyed it, especially the assassination of my eminence :P   

lol xD

This is a joke article though so don't mult and certainly don't flame

 

голд бил in this clan? :D

I cannot speaks Russian? I cannots understands?

 

Nor can you understand the stuff I'm saying lol

[Phoenix.Raised 5,992]

Your subordinate did  :ph34r:I cannot speaks Russian? I cannots understands?

 

Nor can you understand the stuff I'm saying lol

голд бил = was gold

 

What makes you think that I dont understand english?

[BLASTER872 1,892]

голд бил = was gold

 

What makes you think that I dont understand english?

Naw, I just make no sense k

 

was gold in this clan? nah, and having M3 makes you not noob k so you can't join deh N00B 4RMY

[basenji7 1,199]

Blaster I've fulfilled all the requirements...Can I join now?  :lol:

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Ask tweezers if you want to join or his minions (the reporter team)

[X.XD-GAMER.D 34]

blaster872

[omrot 2,327]

certainly don't flame

It might be a little too late  :ph34r:

[BLASTER872 1,892]

It might be a little too late  :ph34r:

has tweezers recruited you yet?  :ph34r:

[omrot 2,327]

has tweezers recruited you yet?  :ph34r:

It's classified  :ph34r:  :ph34r:

 

 

Double Ninja means it's highly classified

 

[M-axis 589]

Define mult :P

[asifmehmood 1,576]

I love that pic hahahaha 

[tousif_the_master 2,240]

hehe +1 of awesomeness 

[Electra 733]

Real clan Noob Army was one of the best clans of tanki online ;)

[TTK_229 1,080]

blaster872

Blister872. His name is Blister872.

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Real clan Noob Army was one of the best clans of tanki online ;)

This is tweezer's noob army  ^_^

[Hex 11,520]

:ph34r:

[DESTROYER_13 1,019]

howw Tun GUN halp mee plis

[CabbageRoll 3,018]

what combo better

isida viking m3 oer vulcan dictator m0

well i already know the second one is best

[AlphaNinjaGirl 537]

was gold?

[AlphaNinjaGirl 537]

[Guest Maserati]

I thought this was the clan .>_<.