How to Avoid Noobs

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Are you tired of joining a seemingly intense Polygon CP battle to find out half your team has done NOTHING? Or playing an XP/BP battle with teammates who lack the ability to turn their turret? Well then, THIS guide is for you, and it's the final part of the "Noob" series which I have ran out of ideas for and I hope you enjoy this.

 

 

So, for organization, I'll be creating a step-by-step guide of things you need to learn to do. If you already know/did one of the steps, you don't need to learn/repeat it again.

 

1. Identifying Noobs

 

Identifying noobs is one of the key principles to avoiding them. "To avoid you must recognize," said - hold it, who said that again? Let me search that up... - BLASTER872 in 2016. But seriously, to avoid a noob you must know what a noob is. Don't be avoiding Godmode_ON and hanging with that guy with 2 M0s at Warrant Officer 2 and who can't turn his turret. That being said, how do you identify a noob? Well, there is no distinct line, but I'll tell you a few things to watch for.

 

- Experience playing

This does not mean rank. This means how well the noob is playing, whether he/she is playing at all, and if he/she is honestly trying to win. As well as some decent knowledge (as you don't want to run in a base with Shaft, you want to run in with Firebird and snipe with Shaft), along with - you guessed it - equipment.

 

- Equipment

This doesn't make someone who has M2 equipment at Lieutenant Colonel that doesn't happen to have 50 MUs on them is noob. You're fine with M2s at Lieutenant Colonel. But if you have, let's say, M0s micro-upgraded 30-40 times, that's pretty much a "noob indicator".

 

2. Play on the same team as friends

 

If you don't want noobs on your team, instead of trusting your luck and joining a random battle (let's face it, your luck isn't good there), you should play with a group or friends on your side, or just a friend or two. Well, if you're like me and have no friends (ouch), then consider joining (or making) a clan called Tanki Masters! I'll be dividing friends into 3 groups and will tell you how to get some.

 

- Tanki Online

You can get friends in Tanki Online by playing Tanki Online. It's not that hard. Just socialize and chat a bit, but NOT to the extent where you're a mult *cough cough BLASTER872 cough cough*. You can easily make friends if you talk about something everyone knows, such as "lol hey guys remember when Cedric multed in 2021 and caught that gold box?" Don't intentionally lie though, such as "u suk b872 u only has Thunder M3 i has Thunder M7!1!" That's a one-way ticket to making someone mad.

 

- Tanki Forums

While, let's be honest, almost nobody uses the forums, there are still some great people who you can befriend in the Forums. I mean, there's no restriction for you in the Forums since you're reading this article in the forums! Also, this is my article, I'm a user, et cetera, so you can be my friend too because contrary to the facts popular belief, I'm a person too! (Ouch.) Oh, wait, you're supposed to be avoiding noobs, so I guess that kicks poor me out of your options.

 

- Real Life

Finally, we have the real world. Yes, everyone, and that shockingly includes you, has a life. Well, you'd better not consult me on how to GET friends, because remember, I have none. However, you might want to hook your irl friends into Tanki Online or meet up irl or Skype call your friends and play Tanki together, while wrecking some people.

 

- Clans

"But BLASTER, you said we'd have 3 sections!" No, I said we'd have 3 groups of friends. Anyway, once you've got some friends, wherever they may come from, consider making a clan together or joining a common clan. Preferably Tanki Masters! Clans give you advantages that are exclusive to clans or easier to earn as a clan. After all, don't you think there's a reason that the prominent writers are all in clans? Clans are for awesome people! So join a clan, 2016.*

*This may or may not have been sponsored by Tanki Masters Recruiting Department.

 

3. Go Outside

 

I get you've been staying inside glued to your computer the last two years, but you could also go outside, you know. The benefits are listed below:

 

- Health Improvement

Exercise has been shown to improve health. What a breakthrough!

 

- No more noobs

There are no "noobs" in the real world. So that means *gasp* you won't encounter another noob! For the duration of your time outside..

 

Which, we should clear up, is about 3 - 5 seconds.

 

 

Alright guys, I hope you have enjoyed this article! And this is BLASTER872...

logging out.

Edited October 23, 2016 by BLASTER872

[Hex 11,520]

Edits:

 

- Grammar

- Rephrasing

- Standardized font, color

 

On a side note, please understand that turrets, hulls, paints, modules and names are proper nouns and should start with a capital letter. 'firebird' corrected to 'Firebird', 'shaft' to 'Shaft' and 'cedric' to 'Cedric'.

Edited October 23, 2016 by Hexed

[Viking4s 10,791]

If you're running out of idea about noob here is some idea.:

- a noob life

- i'm with noob

- I dated a noob

- I used to be a noob

... it's an endless subject

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Edits:

 

- Grammar

- Rephrasing

- Standardized font, color

 

On a side note, please understand that turrets, hulls, paints, modules and names are proper nouns and should start with a capital letter. 'firebird' corrected to 'Firebird', 'shaft' to 'Shaft' and 'cedric' to 'Cedric'.

OK, btw you capitalized "Snipe" instead of "Shaft" lol

[Laser50000 516]

Right when i see the topic:

 

"How to avoid noobs"

 

Me: You can't, they just get in your way  :P

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Me: "How to Avoid Noobs?"

 

Blaster: "Go outside"

 

:mellow:

[shotgun123_awesome 443]

nice

[Ninja 10,468]

I love noobs, easy to kill, especially in DM. :wub: