Other [Issue 74] The Time Traveler's Log-Tanki Edition 1

[Destrod 2,634]

 

 

 

The Time Traveler's Log - Tanki Edition 1

 

 

 

January 20th, 4078. Humankind has fallen into the deep clutches of chaos and havoc. M4s aren't enough now, they all want free XTs. The rebellion has overthrown the administration, after the long era of silence. It is up to me now. Commander Flexbot v 2.1.8 took the liberty to lend me a time machine from his child's ignored toys facility, and I will not fail him. My journey through time will create a rendezvous between me and my savage yet timid ancestors. I must change them, for the greater good. This is Batman, signing out.

 

Month unknown, Timeline BC. I have been reunited with my Neanderthal ancestors. Their intelligence exceeds that of a plastic bowl I'm afraid. Evolution is a beauty, because no being could ever dream that revolutionary minds like Einstein could ever arise from someone like them. Still, I am not here to complain about the past, although I'd sell my kidneys for a toothbrush right about now. 

These primitive beings are far better than us. The only damage they cause is brain damage, for someone smarter, like me. I must get to know them first, before I can actually teach them. I tried approaching a male, but he hit me with a boulder and yelled something in a devilish tongue I could not understand.

 

I have managed to lure them with fire, they grow fond of me now, and they also grow fond of the fire burning them whenever they try to grab it. The computer is still a great threat to them. I have managed to set up a working internet connection and it seems to be working fine, as long as they don't start chewing the cables. 

 

They are slowly learning the advanced language of Tankinglish, although they cannot even memorize the alphabets. I have taught them the following words, but making them pronounce them is an entirely different story. You might as well close your ears when listening to them, because keeping them open won't make a difference:

 

You don't see the words? Oh, its because there aren't any.

 

They begin to grow more and more suspicious of me, and the modern technology that I have brought upon them. It's like I'm deity, without all the benefits. They snore like a battle horn, but I guess they aren't as loud as those in Polygon, constantly asking the local admins for gold boxes. The dreadful noises take me far back, a flashback into the Vietnam massacres. Constant rock smashing and hypnotic shrieking is part of their breakfast, lunch and dinner, even though they have nothing to eat. 

 

'More text and jokes and visual cues and memes and yada yada'

 

I'll end this quickly, because there is one brute in particular who doesn't stop smashing my head on the keyboard whenever I'm writing. My quest is turning out to be successful, as long as they don't forget everything in one night. I will make sure that they don't grow up to be as terrible as we were, although they will be much less smarter. This log is the only fun activity that I do, because I can't really do anything. I might teach them sports while I'm at it, so that one day they learn to avoid calling football "soccer". This is djgklfsglkfglk the time lgjsk;gjfklgj traveller aslfj;dljf, signing afdgij9tirpon out.

 

 

[Magenta 5,165]

Can I borrow this time machine? Wanna go to 4th May now.

[gokuMI6 1,290]

So Time can run backwards 

So man come back from BC and tell NASA and other scientists that time does not only strech but also can be reversed  :ph34r:

[Magenta 5,165]

Also, fancy getting a better header?

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

Also, fancy getting a better header?

He's in the cavemen era. Where's he going to find a better header?