Tanki Online News

[Possibility 282]

Hello, my name is Possibility and welcome to TFN, or Tanki Fake News, where we tell you the most important things to keep yourself safe. And sometimes unsafe. But also safe. And unsafe. And -- And this is tweezers with the weather.

 

Hello, tankers. My name is tweezers, and I am here to give you the weather. Please take notice that I was forced to take this job and I didn't actually decide. But without further ado, lets start.

 

Mr.nives isn't feeling pretty happy today, so in every map, it will be a little darker. However, since he got back from his trip to Brazil, he has felt a soft spot for Rio. That map is going to have sunshine for the next 3 millennia. Tomorrow all maps will be getting some snow, except for Rio. The day after tomorrow, all maps (except for, of course, Rio) will feel the rain, because it is going to... be sunny rain! Back to you, Poss.

 

Many of you might've heard about the death of Flexoo. We'll discuss it later after these words from our sponsors.

 

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And we are back! The death of Flexoo was not predicted by anyone. But who was behind this murder? More from Yis.Rabbit.

 

Ugh, how many times do I need to tell you, Poss. It's Yisroel.Rabin. You need Dr. Phil, my dude. The murder was unprecedented, it surely was. No one thought anyone would dare kill the famous dictator of the Newspaper team. But who did? It was none other than Godmode_ON. Yes, the Godmode_ON. Why? The motive remains unknown. The Tanki community rejoices, having Destrod as the leader of the reporter team. From the scene of the crime, I'm Yis.Rabbit and back to you.

 

Well, I hope that the Tanki Online Police find Godmode_ON before he joins forces with Nightbreeze and starts destroying everything in the Tankiverse. Speaking of Nightbreeze, the author, Possibility, is here. I am going to interview him right now. I am looking at the mirror. Lets start this interview off right.

 

"Hello, Possibility. When you started, writing Nightbreeze, did you know that the person was real?"

 

"Good evening, great sir. As a matter of fact, I did. I knew him since birth. I watched him go from an orphan to the most notorious villain in Tanki. I wrote the story for laughs, so that everyone could giggle in their apartments and houses while the real Nightbreeze destroyed stuff. Did you know that if I said the word: twwwwwwweeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzerrrrrrrrrrrrrrs 3 times Nightbreeze would be here in an instant? Do you want me to try it?

 

"Uhm, no sir. Before you move, I am going to call security and slowly back away to get my rifle. Lets see some more ads."

 

This is for the flavorful and fat dudes out there. If you come down to McDinald's right now, you can get a Big Mic, chicken MicNuggets, and an Egg McMuffin for only 20 easy payments of $99.99. Come down now!

 

O.o, that is for me. That does it for this evening's news. Before Possibility left, he told me to tell everyone that a new Nightbreeze is coming up. Keep on laughing!!1!!

Edited November 12, 2017 by Destrod

[Destrod 2,634]

Approved.

- Spelling correction (use of "of and off")

- Multiple grammar edits(addition of helping verbs, fixing 1st and 2nd form mistakes)

- Addition of prefixes

 

Humor writing is a tough job. If the jokes aren't witty, relatable or generic, the entertainment of reading them is reduced drastically. This statement is not for my own promotion whatsoever, but humor always takes time, and this article seems rushed. A valid attempt nonetheless!

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

I know this is a rather chill article but regardless, the grammar isn't very good. There are several sentences starting with "And," sentences start/end abruptly, which is kinda uncomfortable to read. I agree with Destrod, the article seems extremely rushed and sentences are too short. I'd recommend not trying to make an entirely comedic article because they often fall flat. Find a happy medium, perhaps somewhere between relaxed and entertaining, with a few touches of comedy. An entire article meant for the sole purpose of being funny usually gets cringe.