Stuck [Tankiverse fanfic]

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

Stuck

Fanfic in the Tankiverse by Hippin_in_Hawaii

 
 
“Golf Echo Two calling Golf Echo. Golf Echo Two calling Golf Echo. Over.”

“Golf Echo Two, this is Golf Echo Actual. Go ahead. Over.”

Fred traded looks of dread with Liza. He hadn’t expected the commander herself to answer. This was going to suck.

“Roger, Golf Echo Actual. We are officially ten-seventeen. Map coords bravo bravo seven nine. Over.”

There was a lengthy pause. Quite lengthy. Fred and Liza stood beside the tank, their feet buried in mud, avoiding looking at each other. The pause stretched on interminably.

“Golf Echo Two, say again. Over.”

Fred sighed before keying the mic again. “Golf Echo Actual, we are ten-seventeen at bravo bravo seven nine. Over.”

The pause was even longer this time. “We are so going to be in a world of ****,” said Liza. Fred nodded miserably. Behind them, Albert stuck his head out of the driver’s hatch.

“Help coming?” asked Albert.

“Working on it,” answered Fred.

“Golf Echo Two, believe your transmission garbled. Say again. Over.” This time, the voice held an undertone of barely-contained fury, while in the background, other voices could be heard laughing hysterically.

“You heard us, Actual. Ten-seventeen. Brave bravo seven nine. Over.” Fred hung his head.

“Do you think they’re recording this?” asked Liza.

“Of course!” chirped Albert. “All communications during maneuvers are recorded. It’s standard procedure.” He paused, puzzled. “You should know that.”

“Of course I know it! I was just lamenting the fact that soon, possibly within the hour, we’re going to be a viral video. Within a week, a million people will be laughing at us.”

“Nah,” said Albert. “You’re being optimistic. A ****up like this, we’ll have a million hits in just a few days.” He ducked back into the tank to avoid the mudball that Liza flung at him.

The radio crackled. “Golf Echo Two, let me be clear about your report. Are you actually telling me that you took your tank into the center of the clearly-designated no-go area, where you have gotten it stuck? Is that your report? Do I have the facts straight? Over.”

Yep, she was pissed. Mighty pissed. “Affirmative, Actual.”

Fred looked at Liza; Liza, at Fred. It had seemed like such a brilliant idea at the time. Take their tank behind simulated enemy lines using an unexpected route, engage the blue side from behind, creating a distraction that would allow their teammates to penetrate blue lines and capture their base. Usually the areas on the map marked “no-go” were only arbitrary limitations set for the maneuver; this time, though, the area had been a swamp. A place where, clearly, no one with half a brain would try to drive a tank. No one except a green crew of junior tankers hoping to make a favorable impression by pulling off a daring risk.

From inside the tank, Albert yelled. “Holy ****! Did you guys feel that?”

“Feel what?” yelled back Liza.

Albert came scrambling out. “The whole tank just rocked! Did we get hit by something?”

Fred looked around. “Hit by what? We’re the only idiots out here.” He looked at the tank for a moment… had it been leaning that much a moment ago?

A bubbling sound began to softly escape from the mud beneath the tank’s right tread. As he watched, the tank leaned further in that direction, inches of the track disappearing beneath the surface.

“Al, get out of there!” he yelled.

Albert ducked back inside instead. “AL!” screamed both Fred and Liza.

The tank was clearly sinking now, the right side heading down at an increasing rate. “AL!! Get out!!!”

The driver’s hatch slammed shut. They heard Al scrambling inside. He emerged through the commander’s hatch, dogging it behind him. “I secured for amphibious operation,” he said. “She’ll be airtight until they pull her out.”

They stood there, the three of them, watching helplessly as the quicksand slowly sucked their great war machine down into its silent depths. The deeper the right side went, the more the tank leaned, and the farther in that direction it slid. Al pulled his phone from his pocket and pointed it at the tank, documenting its slow descent.

“You’re not supposed to carry that on maneuvers,” said Liza. Albert just shrugged and kept filming.

“Golf Echo Two, this is Golf Echo. You are to remain at your present location until the retrieval unit arrives. You will assist in retrieval, then surrender the tank to a replacement crew. You will then return to base, on foot, for debriefing. Respond. Over.” The voice was not that of the commander; clearly, she had handed the matter over to a subordinate.

“You want us to walk back? Over.”

“Golf Echo Two, given Actual’s state of mind, you might appreciate any delay in arriving here. A long walk is the least of your problems. Maintain radio silence. Over.”

The tank was halfway gone, and nearly on its side. The downward motion showed no signs of slowing.

“Are you going to tell them about this?” asked Liza.

“Nope,” sighed Fred.

The three friends watched as the turret slowly disappeared beneath the bubbling mud. Only the left treads were visible, but they wouldn’t be for long.

“We are well and truly ****ed, my friends,” commented Al, his phone still pointed at what could be seen of the tank.

With nothing else to do, they sat down in the mud and watched as it slid slowly out of sight, bubbles floating to the surface of the quicksand long after the tank had disappeared beneath the surface.

Fred pulled out a protein bar and began chewing. Yep, this was gonna suck.
 
 
 
 

Mahalo (thank you) for reading; I hope you enjoyed! This story is part of a series. Information on the series, and links to the other stories, can be found here.

Edited October 17, 2018 by Hippin_in_Hawaii

[tweezers 1,034]

Approved. 

 

-Just changed the colour of the title and spaced it a wee bit. No other edits. 

 

That was amazing, and I shall be severely disappointed if this doesn't turn out to be a series.  

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Good work but I'd stay away from cussing using actual swear words, tone it done with some non-hyper-offensive substitutes and you can get pretty much the same effect. :D

[Mjro7 2,837]

Nice one !

[Destrod 2,634]

*slow clap* I was losing the will to live, but now I feel alive.

[Merovingian 656]

Nice work. Good flow, it looks like a solid and balanced piece.

As mark said you could use other words to express frustration, you could have invented your own expression inspired from the tankiverse.

 

Just an example: "We are so going to be in a world of ****," => We are so going to be in a world of Tank" or "We are so going to be in sent to WOT",

Edited December 1, 2017 by Merovingian

[Magenta 5,165]

Professional. <3

 

Hate the stars, sometimes censoring systems just fountain me off. But you know, you gotta ducking ignore it, and get a driggin brilliant idea out of that shining-like-a-bulb @69$420$96#0!3 and get a ducking convoluted way around the giant aerodynamic-headed obstacles. You gotta ducking do it.

 

#MakeAWCDuckAgain

Edited December 1, 2017 by Magenta

[tweezers 1,034]

 

Good work but I'd stay away from cussing using actual swear words, tone it done with some non-hyper-offensive substitutes and you can get pretty much the same effect. :D

 

 

Nice work. Good flow, it looks like a solid and balanced piece.

As mark said you could use other words to express frustration, you could have invented your own expression inspired from the tankiverse.

 

Just an example: "We are so going to be in a world of ****," => We are so going to be in a world of Tank" or "We are so going to be in sent to WOT",

That would be  nice, but the problem with using those substitutes in a somewhat dramatic piece such as this, which has a slightly more serious tone, is that those substitutes cheapen the article somewhat, and makes it seem a wee bit childish. I much prefer the use of "*" since it doesn't break any rules but does get the idea of the actual word across to the audience that knows and uses those words in regular conversation, and doesn't do any harm to those who don't.

 

Basically: For a more comedic piece, substituting words would work really well, but not in a more mature piece of writing like this. 

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

That would be  nice, but the problem with using those substitutes in a somewhat dramatic piece such as this, which has a slightly more serious tone, is that those substitutes cheapen the article somewhat, and makes it seem a wee bit childish. I much prefer the use of "*" since it doesn't break any rules but does get the idea of the actual word across to the audience that knows and uses those words in regular conversation, and doesn't do any harm to those who don't.

 

Basically: For a more comedic piece, substituting words would work really well, but not in a more mature piece of writing like this. 

Yeah, very true. The substitute would really "weaken" the intense word. Fair enough. 

[Hex 11,520]

Amazing work, definitely one of the best pieces of the month.

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

I debated the whole "to profane or not to profane" thing for this story, and felt like it merited genuine profanity. I'm not above manufacturing profanity when the occasion demands it, but this time I took the stars. 

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Wish I could write like this.

[Stratosphere 2,234]

This is based on another story, right?

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

This is based on another story, right?

Not that I'm aware of.

 

 

 

Mind you, the subconscious does funny things. The first story I posted here, "a helluva thing", seemed to just write itself. It was a few days after I posted it that I realized I had written a very similar fanfic for a space-based RPG over a decade ago. In that one, the sole survivor is in a derelict spacecraft, trying desperately to get systems up and running before his opponent does the same, and ultimately winning the day, but as a Pyrrhic victory. So, significant differences, but it's funny to me how, when facing my first fanfic in each of these disparate universes, my mind went to the sole survivor, Pyrrhic victory angle.

 

 

 

Anyway, while the idea of "idiots try stupid/heroic thing and fail" is a trope, I don't think I based this on anything specific.

[Viking4s 10,791]

Great story.
 

This is based on another story, right?

Since there is 7 billion peoples on the planet and human write since the age of time, there is a high possibility that once in the while 2 stories looks familiar.
You know it's like paint on TO, new paint always looks similar to an existing one.
  

That would be  nice, but the problem with using those substitutes in a somewhat dramatic piece such as this, which has a slightly more serious tone, is that those substitutes cheapen the article somewhat, and makes it seem a wee bit childish. I much prefer the use of "*" since it doesn't break any rules but does get the idea of the actual word across to the audience that knows and uses those words in regular conversation, and doesn't do any harm to those who don't.
 
Basically: For a more comedic piece, substituting words would work really well, but not in a more mature piece of writing like this.

It's an unusaul debate we have here. IMO since it is a Fanfic in the Tankiverse, in this case I don't think it does weaken the story.
Cherub (Robert Muchmore) and the Maze Runner or Farscape found ways to avoid the use of those words and it does give strength and uniqueness to the universe they created.
Saying that if tweezers mod is happy with the current wording, then so be it.

Edited December 5, 2017 by Viking4s