The person I wanted to be ...

[Heles 9,220]

My old creative writing for my HSC exam (graduating exam aka Higher School Certificate). Never used it :P

The theme was about "Discovery" 

 

He thought he had succeeded in life. He had his own office, a brass name plate on the front of his desk imprinted with “Executive Vice President”, his six-digit salary and his shiny new silver Porsche. He thought he’d done everything right; studied to get into a prestigious university, used the degree to get a top paying job and settled down with the perfect wife. He even had an university fund for children he didn’t have yet. He thought he knew exactly where he was and where he was going.

 

He thought and thought and thought: where did it go wrong?

 

He remembered his first year at university. He remembered his lingering insecurities from his high school acne problem and his horrible sense of fashion, wearing a brown vest over his unironed long sleeved white shirt. He remember working part time at Mcdonald's and his tight budget. He remembered living in those cramped dorms and the all-nighters he had to do to pass the midterms. 

 

He remembered when he saw her the first time. Her wavy midnight hair, floral dress and black heel boots. He remembered watching her from the back of the seminar, thinking of how to approach her.

 

He remembered the first he tried to speak to her.

 

“Hey…. Ummmm…. Would.. Ahhh… you like to go out for some coffee?” he muttered.

 

And he remembered the day of his wedding when she said “I do”.

 

And now,

 

He was alone. He woke up. He went to work. He came home.

 

His wife had left him. He thought he’d been the perfect husband. He loved her, he had provided and they lived in their dream home. He didn’t hear from her for a week until she called about signing the divorce papers. They agreed to meet at a cafe she chose. He thought it an odd choice; the place looked like it was falling apart. It was one the dives near his old university, frequented by down and out students. It was small  rustic place, open 24/7 just to stay afloat. The exposed brick wall still had bits of wallpaper sticking on it and between the reminders of better days hung amateur artworks. They were so bad they made him wince. The aroma of cheap coffee beans made him nauseous. They sat at a table for two, silent until he could finally spurt out the word “Why?”

 

Her answer was like a rehearsed speech. She didn’t love him anymore. She wasn’t happy. He had changed since they met.

 

He didn’t understand. He thought he was a better person than his younger self, the guy who was a penniless loser. He thought he given her everything she wanted. He thought she was happy.

 

She was crying now. She’d got to the end of her prepared speech, but she kept speaking, struggling through the tears. She had fallen in love with his awkward sense of humour that tried to make her laugh no matter what, sacrificing his pride by telling the dumbest jokes. She had fallen in love with feeling she was like a priceless gem in his eyes. However, this man she fell in love with had changed. He became absorbed in his own success. He stopped trying to make her laugh and instead focused on his career. He stopped treasuring her but rather bragged about his gem to everyone else. He stopped showing his love and replaced it with ostentatious gift. The affection they had for each other had deteriorated into a single morning kiss before he went to work and she couldn’t handle it anymore. She had packed her things and left their “dream” home.

 

That was why, she explained. She left the divorce paper in his lifeless hands. He didn’t react as she left. It was as if his soul had left his body.

 

He didn’t get up, he didn’t yell that he could change, he didn’t try win her back right there and then.

 

He wasn’t going to beg in public, he wasn’t going to make empty promises, he wasn’t going to give up his pride. He wasn’t…

 

He looked down at the papers. He looked at the floor. Someone had spilled a drink, and the satin spread out beneath his feet. He looked at the paintings on the wall, gauche and naive. And then he remembered this place. Was it where they’d first had coffee? Probably not. He didn’t know. Now, after the conversation with his ex wife, there were a lot of things he no longer knew.

 

He looked around the cafe. Back when he used to come to place like this he had known absolutely nothing. He’d just been a stupid kid. Back then everything was new, everything was fresh. For God’s sake, he probably even liked the art works on the walls.

 

Back then he didn’t know everything; he’d loved everything. He hadn’t owned the world; he simply been in awe of it. An innocent wonder, a wonder, a wide eyed... and realized he was crying. He hadn’t done that for a while. 

 

He wiped his eyes and paid the bill.

 

He was more than a six-digit salary, car and degree. He wasn’t perfect. He didn’t have it all figured out. He was a person who cracked dumb jokes, and loved his wife.

 

He went home, dug out that old brown vest and long sleeved white shirt and put them on. He went to the florist, bought her favourite flowers, pink orchids. It wasn’t some grand turnaround like those romance movies; in all honestly, he was a mess. His shirt unironed, hair unkempt and not knowing what he was doing. It was like he was back in his first year at university, chasing after the girl of his dreams. 

Edited December 10, 2017 by tweezers

[tweezers 1,034]

Approved. 

 

-Minor formatting and grammar errors.

-Took the text out of the spoiler and put the Notes in the spoiler instead.

 

Hey, this is pretty nice! 

[ThirdOnion 4,898]

NOT THE BROWN VEST!!!

[Heles 9,220]

Approved. 

 

-Minor formatting and grammar errors.

-Took the text out of the spoiler and put the Notes in the spoiler instead.

 

Hey, this is pretty nice! 

thanks for the feedback and edit :) 

[Destroyer7777777tank 339]

Nicely written creative :)

Btw which one did u use? 

[Heles 9,220]

Nicely written creative :)

Btw which one did u use? 

The chess one

[Magenta 5,165]

 

Gifts not gift.

 

Nicely written.

[N.o-M.e.r.c.y 199]

Nice Topic 

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

Well written, heart-wrenching to read. I sometimes worry about becoming that guy. 

[shafter9 156]

So... is confidence a bad thing to exhibit when looking for love?

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

Ong nice story *wipes away tears*

[ThirdOnion 4,898]

So... is confidence a bad thing to exhibit when looking for love?

Maybe not, but overconfidence is.

[HenryEC 84]

Lol, dont mind me using this for my creative writing XD 

[Heles 9,220]

Lol, dont mind me using this for my creative writing XD 

Lol, u dont go to school anymore :p 

[akiket 402]

You deserved your degree for sure.

[Bydo 20,120]

looks good but what is his name ? .. I see too many He in the story .. sorry but i just feel its all about a man named He..

[akiket 402]

In other languages, you can simply adjust the verb to designate the "doer". In English, using 'he' is normal to me.

Edited December 31, 2017 by akiket

[Heles 9,220]

looks good but what is his name ? .. I see too many He in the story .. sorry but i just feel its all about a man named He..

Lol, thnx

soz for that XD, I dont like using names in my stories.

 

You deserved your degree for sure.

Haha, thnx bro ;) 

But i didnt use this story in my final exam

it was just a backup story 

[Bydo 20,120]

just use a make up one seeing it was a made up story in the first place ..lol