Beer O'Clock [Tankiverse fanfic]

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

Beer O’Clock

Fanfic in the Tankiverse by Hippin_in_Hawaii

 
“They seriously fell into the drainage ditch?” guffawed what’s-his-name, sloshing beer over himself and his neighbors.
 
Patterson gestured across the table to where Liza, Al, and Fred were sitting. “Ask them yourself. God’s honest truth!”
 
What’s-his-name looked over; Fred shrugged and nodded.
 
What’s-his-name was having a hard time forming sentences around his deep belly laughs. “So you got your tank stuck on two training maneuvers in a row?”
 
“Nope,” chirped Al, holding up three fingers. “Three.”
 
“Three??” What’s-his-name was helpless with laughter, as was everyone in earshot. It was, Fred reflected, actually a fairly pleasant sound. It was just a shame that he and his crew were at the receiving end.
 
“You… you… you’ve gotten your tank stuck three times?” gasped out what’s-his-name.
 
“Oh, no,” said Al, wide-eyed and serious. “Three consecutive times. Eight in total.”
 
“Ei…. ei… ei…” Poor what’s-his-name couldn’t get enough air to form the word. He gave up trying and wrapped his arm around Patterson, the two of them literally laughing tears onto each other’s shoulders. The entire bar was laughing now as the story spread to the back. Fred chuckled and concentrated on enjoying his beer, waiting for a pause in the uproar.
 
“What can I say,” he said when the lull finally came. “I like putting my tank where no one expects it!”
 
This, of course, opened the floodgates to a fresh tsunami of cachinnation, not to mention a few crude barbs that got lost in the noise. Fred, Liza, and Al toasted each other and relaxed, letting the laughter roll over them. It was hardly the first time, but it was all new to what’s-his-name, so the chestnuts had to be brought out and re-lived.
 
“Oh, God…” gasped what’s-his-name. “You three must be the worst tankers ever!”  The laughter dropped abruptly in volume, but what’s-his-name, too drunk and caught up in his own cleverness, failed to notice. “Why your commander hasn’t ****-canned you three, I cannot for the life of me imagine!”
 
The bar was quiet now, and not a friendly quiet. This was definitely a hostile quiet. And still, what’s-his-name was missing it. “God help me if I ever have to go into battle with the likes of you!”
 
Patterson’s hand landed heavily on what’s-his-name’s shoulder. “You’ll want to be shutting up now,” he said, quietly, menacingly.
 
What’s-his-name paused, looked around the room, and had the unexpected good sense to keep his mouth shut. He took a deep swallow of his beer, thinking hard. “Look, I’ve said something I oughtn’t, and I really didn’t mean anything by it. We were all having a good laugh at these guys’ expense, and if I went too far, I’m deeply sorry. I’d never mean to… what’s the word… diminish! I’d never mean to diminish another tanker’s good standing with my loud mouth. Please, let me buy the next round.”
 
As drunken apologies went, thought Fred, that one was pretty articulate and on-point. Could be that what’s-his-name might turn out to be a worthwhile human being. Fred could feel the tension in the room watching him, a palpable force waiting to take his lead. He smiled and leaned forward. ”No harm done.” He emptied his glass and set it on the table before him. Liza and Al followed suit. “We’d love another beer!”
 
Some of the anger ran out of the room and disappeared into the night as what’s-his-name got up and stumbled towards the bar. Conversations began to spring up here and there. Patterson shook his head. “Liza, Al, Fred, I am so sorry. He and I go way back, but he can be a complete dumbass.”
 
Al just laughed. “Look, he’s drunk, and all he’s heard so far are the funny stories. He doesn’t know anything more.”
 
“He’s pretty good with his drunken apologies,” comment Liza.
 
“Well, he’s had enough practice,” grumbled Patterson.
 
The table sat in relative silence until what’s-his-name staggered back with a beer in each hand and a waitress in tow. She had a platter covered in mugs and began setting them around the table. Soon everyone had a beer in hand. Fred raised his glass towards what’s-his-name and took a long drink. “Thanks,” he said.
 
What’s-his-name was opening his mouth when Patterson turned to him and cut him off. ”These three saved my life.” What’s-his-name blinked, looked at Patterson, then at the crew of Golf Echo Two, then back at Patterson. “Hell, could be they saved the lives of everyone here,” continued Patterson.
 
There was a general rumble of agreement and approval. From the back of the bar came a disembodied voice, “Golf Echo Two!”
 
“GOLF ECHO TWO!!” resounded throughout the bar. Everyone (that is, except for what’s-his-name) stood and lifted their glasses to the three friends. This had an effect that a barfull of ridicule hadn’t; Fred, Al, and Liza were each too embarrassed to even look up. After a moment, Liza elbowed Fred. Fred stood, held his glass high, and made a slow turn, meeting as many eyes as he could manage. He lifted the beer to his mouth and drained it in four large swallows.
 
“Tank Corps!” He bellowed.
 
“FIRST IN LINE! LAST TO DIE! TANK CORPS! TANK CORPS! ROLLING DEATH!”
 
A brief pause followed while beers were chugged and seats were taken. What’s-his-name finally got around to closing his mouth. “Holy ****!” he breathed. “Holy ****! I’ve never seen anything like that. Holy ****! Who the **** are you guys?”
 
Patterson leaned over to his friend. “Buddy,” he said in a theatrical whisper, “you are drinking with the heroes of Suicide Ridge.”
 
 
 
 

Mahalo (thank you) for reading; I hope you enjoyed! This story is part of a series. Information on the series, and links to the other stories, can be found here.

Edited October 17, 2018 by Hippin_in_Hawaii

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Approved.

 

Looking good.

[Stratosphere 2,234]

:mellow: Mmm, profanity...

Edited December 11, 2017 by Stratosphere

[r_trooll15 827]

•_•

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

:mellow: Mmm, profanity...

It was kept to a minimum and was entirely censored, that's why we let it pass. When it's excessive and not really required, we remove it. 

I'd have preferred him to instead use "Holy heck!" or some other less-accepted alternative but it's alright.

[kaisdf 3,320]

Slightly confused by the war cry

“FIRST IN LINE! LAST TO DIE! TANK CORPS! TANK CORPS! ROLLING DEATH!”

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

Slightly confused by the war cry

Well, you understand what it is, so you aren't very confused!

[tweezers 1,034]

I came here to approve articles and leave likes.

 

And my mults-in-arms colleagues have approved everything, so guess what? 

 

Loved it. The anticipation for the next chapter is real. 

Edited December 12, 2017 by tweezers

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

mults-in-arms

Lucky your MIA's weren't MIA, huh?

Edited December 12, 2017 by Marc
shocking joke, explanation prob required

[shafter9 156]

^Yup. Explanation needed

[tweezers 1,034]

Lucky your MIA's weren't MIA, huh?

 

^Yup. Explanation needed

It's not funny if you explain it!

 

 

MIA 1: Mults In Arms

MIA 2: Missing In Action.

geddit?

 

 

[Magenta 5,165]

I must say that you are very skilled in your writings. It makes me a bit curious about you, though. If I ever summon the time to do a Best Writers of AWC interview, you'll be there.

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

I must say that you are very skilled in your writings. It makes me a bit curious about you, though. If I ever summon the time to do a Best Writers of AWC interview, you'll be there.

Thanks! Or, as we say locally, Mahalo!  

Edited December 12, 2017 by Marc
interesting backstory but I don't think it's appropriate for here! xD