So I was reading the newspaper the Canadian @Holiday, obviously completely ignoring any article that didn't start with "[Contest]". I wanted the Stryker M2, and if I wanted to be a Stryker in battles, then . But why work hard for the crystals when you can just win a contest and get them, right? I was @II.Born.To.Win.Il, born to be a @Savage @LegendaryChampion.
So I looked through the various @ReporterContests but was pretty disappointed with what I found. "The War Room"? Please, if I had the @True_Skills to do those questions I wouldn't have gone to school that @sunny_morning. "What Map"?! Oh, let's see, there's only, like, ten billion @Maximillions maps with that exact same house prop, AND I'M NOT GOING TO LOOK THROUGH ALL OF THEM. I'm not a @MapMaster. And "Demolition is my Mission"? What a joke. Let's work on actually getting 30 Thunder kills in a single game first, then we'll talk about the timing. Don't even get me started on the parkour contest. Who thought that to @PracticeParkourStunt was fun. Why did the @Contestmaker make all these challenges that require actual @Skills.Now? It's way @2muchzwork. I don't stand a chance against these motivated and hardworking youngsters that plague the forum these days. So yeah, @Me-So-Sad, until I made @The-Discovery. A writing contest! Oh, what luck! Finally something that doesn't require any actual effort and will make my lazy unproductive self @Remaine satisfied!
Wait, a twist?! You're saying I have to search up every word in the members search bar to find member names?
How fun. Eh, @WhyTheHellNot. I forgive the Reporters. After all, @We.Are.Brotherss, and it's @ALL.ABOUT.GAMES!
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