Hey, what's up people. I'm not doing any formatting because I'm pretty tired and jet lagged from a two-week trip, and might give the impression that I'm potentially returning. I'll stick to being a myth and part of the history of this place, thank you all very much. But anyways, I used to constantly joke about making a guide to procrastination... and so uh, years later, I now feel a little bit guilty about never getting around to it. Hopefully a moderator can make this look a little nicer (or just leave it in the raw form for the lols). Anyways, here you all go - the long-awaited guide to procrastination, by Anima, aka Blackdrakon30. Procrastination Part 1: Preparation If you want to procrastinate, you first need to prepare your environment. Make sure that you have at least the four fundamental distractions - snacks, a computer, a smartphone, and headphones. Here's a quick run-through of the reasoning behind these four items. * Snacks are benign when alone, or when with homework/work, but can quickly become crippling and a powerful aid to your procrastination. Take popcorn for example - if you're eating it with one hand, you can no longer type with both hands for fear of getting your keyboard greasy. Think of it as a way to tie one arm behind your back and handicap your own working abilities - it's easier to procrastinate when you feel like you aren't physically able to do the work. Now of course, you MUST make sure that you're trying to snack while doing something that requires TWO HANDS. If it only requires one hand, snacks no longer work as an excuse, and won't slow you down as thoroughly. * Make sure you have a computer. A computer is a tool - it can be used for fun things, like throwing around and denting walls, or for not-fun things, like working in a safe and mature manner. Therefore, make sure that you have at least ten tabs open, and websites that have infinite play potential - take YouTube for example! Their recommended videos feed after every video provides an excellent way to continue the enjoyment of procrastination, and ensure that you won't ever get around to that dreadful work. * A smartphone is literally just a small computer. Double the computer, double the fun - and double the procrastination! This one is one-handed and doesn't have as much sticking with the snacking style of procrastination, but the phone-based entertainment provides more variety. * Headphones work as a pretty solid accessory to the computer and phone. It ensures that you can watch videos while saying that you're actually listening to music while working. They also make sure that if you're being called to do something, you can just say you couldn't hear them and hope the chore blows over. With these four basic items, your standard procrastination build is all set to go. It can be customized in many different ways to be tailored to personal needs, but these four are great ways to start off your career as a chronic procrastinator. Several items that might be worth looking into as well include: water (to hide from people for longer), chargers (to keep the fun going), other personal distraction items (books, toys, art utensils, etc), and a bed (to "accidentally" fall asleep in). Tailor your procrastination environment to what you're personally tempted by - set yourself up for successful time-wasting. - Part 2: Mentality Once you set up your environment, you have to make sure you're in the correct mental state. You should want to get the work done, but not want to have to actually do the work. It's a careful balance, yes, but is made much easier by providing proper distractions and only glancing at your work. When you only take a quick look at work, it starts to seem much more intimidating that it in fact is. If you can convince yourself that it's hard work that will take large amounts of time, then it becomes all the more easy to successfully procrastinate. You also don't want too little motivation, because in that case you don't even WANT to get it done in the first place, and end up lazing around instead. To procrastinate, you need a balance between INTENT to get the work done, and ALTERNATIVES along the way to prevent you from fulfilling the work. In the end, it's a personal choice to procrastinate. If you have enough to do, try making as long a to-do list as possible, for maximum possible intimidation. - Part 3: Dealing with the Aftermath You can't deal with the aftermath. I'm kidding - you just mostly can't deal with it. You'll feel really guilty as you stare at the clock wonder why it says 2:00 AM on it, when it's clearly not that late at night. You'll wonder why in the world you did this to yourself, and vow to never do it again. You'll resolve to be dedicated and hard working. You'll do the very same exact procrastination the next day, and beyond that as well. Once a chronic procrastinator, almost always a chronic procrastinator. - Real talk for a moment though - procrastination is a tough enemy, and one that requires a lot of introspection to resolve. Sometimes there's emotion-based reasons or fears behind the behavior, like perfectionism. So if you struggle with procrastination, first of all, welcome to the club, and second of all, I recommend that you play to your strengths while you work to resolve it. If you aren't going to work, then don't stay up late - just go to bed, because you weren't going to get anything done anyways. If you are only going to do some homework, then at least just get done the stuff that you enjoy and can make it through. Watch your physical health above all else, and bite off what you can manage. - I'm a champion procrastinator, and you all can sleep easy knowing that as bad a procrastinator you might be, I'm up there with the professionals myself - just look at this article, and how long I waited to finally write it. So you're not alone with struggles - hope this guide on how to procrastinate properly was enlightening, and I hope that it will serve as guidance for younger generations of procrastinators. Thank you all. Let the legacy continue. :ph34r:

Make your columns or tables in a Google Document, and color the slots to be a dark color so it doesn't stand out too much from the forums. Then you can screenshot the page, crop out everything around the table, and upload it to a site like Imgur. From there, you can easily just have it as an image in your article, instead of as text. It's worked for me in the past.

I did it on my last day with my powers. Even though I was officially retired, I did still had my moderatorship for a bit. :ph34r:

As of today, I am officially retired. Farewell everyone! Happy one-year anniversary to my first article! :D Also, ignore the fact that I'll still be very much contactable, so this isn't as terminal as it really sounds :ph34r:

No, we're not talking about the Amateur Writing Archive itself, we're talking about a side topic in the archive section called "AWC Archive." It's a topic that contains links to a bunch of the articles from former AWC members. The full AWS archive area will definitely remain in effect. So no worries - your articles will be safe and sound.

Actually, I agree with Personia here. I think this little bite is especially true, but the rest of the post was pretty honest too. I just don't feel like quoting that much text. :ph34r:

There are currently no intentions of updating it. It was a project started by Bry and myself, but we didn't have the manpower (or the memory) to maintain it. With the shutdown of the Amateur Writer's Club, the project is made even more daunting, because the AWS helpers would no longer be able to restrict the record to a select group of writers. It'd have to be an archive of every single writer to ever submit to the AWS, and the pieces by them. That's a pretty vast pool of people. I'm still deciding if we'll leave the archive present, or if we'll just remove it altogether. On one hand, it's easier to access the writing from some writers there, but on the other hand, it doesn't represent a large amount of writers, and will have outdated information.

I'm still around for another month; I won't be approving articles really since I'm just here for the supervision, but I can try to find the time for a special request within that time. ;)

One Short Farewell Long Hey…. How are you guys doing? Well, I hope. You can probably already figure out where this is going from the title. I am officially leaving the Tanki Online EN Newspaper team, and the game as a whole. It’s a pretty emotional experience for me; after all, without having found the Tanki Online Newspaper, I probably never would’ve become a writer. It’s been an incredibly long journey, and it hurts a lot having to leave it all behind. I have so many fond memories of every friendship and connection I’ve forged through my time in this community, and I’ll always have those in my heart. This game's community changed the route my life. There was one fateful day when I saw a Newspaper advertisement on the Tanki Online game page, and I decided to enter a contest called “Caption This!” on both my main account, and an alternate account called KevlarFusion. This was back at Issue 51. Crazily enough, I actually won second place for captioning one of the pictures! Suddenly, a whole world of crystal-earning opened up, and I began entering writing-related contests left and right. If I recall correctly, I got at least some crystals from every single one. As of today, I’m “phasing out” - my time on the Newspaper team is ending, but I’m sticking around a little longer with powers, just to make sure things continue smoothly in AWS without me. On May 5, I will officially leave the EN Newspaper team, and the game as a whole. This just an advance notice, to let y'all know - the Newspaper team has known for a month already. I chose May 5 in specific because it’s the two-year anniversary of my first Amateur Writing Section article - “WOH: The Warrant Officer Hideouts.” It's the article that pulled me into all this mess. Over time, my writing style has evolved and formed. I’m proud of what I’ve written, and it’s been a long process. I've never once regretted taking up Goldrock's invitation to join the newspaper team. It was incredible getting to work with so many great people over the past year; I don’t wish to exclude anyone, but I have to give especially special thanks to Goldrock, Shedinja, Tweezers, Bigtimerush_Bry, Remult, Yiper, Night-Sisters, and last but of course not least, Flexoo. Everyone I’ve worked with was great (so don’t feel left out, rest of the team!). Goldrock, Shedinja, Night-Sisters, and Flexoo all were/are outstanding administrators. Tweezers, Bry, and Yiper, I barely even know what to say to you guys. You all were just such awesome bros to work with, and I loved every moment of talking to you and writing articles together. Remult just gets a mention because he was able to match me in competitive Pokemon tactics, and therefore was a great conversation partner. :ph34r: Most of these people have left the team or the game entirely, and I guess I’m just doing the same. It’s been amazing meeting so many diverse people in this game and from this part of the forums. However, all good things must come to an end, and I just feel that it’s time for me to take another step forwards in life, to wherever I find my future. I plan on continuing writing for the rest of my life, and I've explored my interests in literature a lot more thanks to discovering my talent for writing. It'll probably remain as a hobby, but who knows? Futures are fluid. Tweezers and I were considering doing a joint leaving message, but ironically our schedules didn't line up for this either, but you can add some farewell sentiments to him here too. I'll archive this topic after say, 30 days, instead of the usual longer time. No reason to keep watching a ship that's sailed away. I guess that’s all I really have to say. I still have one more article that I plan on submitting to the Amateur Writing section, and perhaps I’ll submit a few more in the future, but I won’t guarantee anything. You can still catch me updating my “Musings of the Living” Google Document, which you can find the link to in my Skype status or through the topic in the AWS Archives. I will also still be hanging around the Happy Dragons clan Discord, since I run that show. :P Blackdrakon30, signing out. Peace.

- Made a sparing amount of edits for smoothing and improved grammar. Approved Oh boy, more drinking! :ph34r: I'd give you some feedback, but I'm pretty pinched on time, so hopefully you'll be happy enough without my paragraphs. :P

'Tis true. I think I was the last one in the clan. :ph34r: Some fellow who's username I don't remember. I'm somewhat behind on the newspaper going-ons because I've been super busy with school for the past couple of weeks. -_- Not to mention it's confidential It also undermines my pro Twins guide from not-that-long-ago. :(

The real question is who isn't here during this great moment? Like wow, sleeping on the job amirite?

Well.... It would seem that impossible has been made impossible. Happy birthday, Happy Dragons, and happy 2000 pages. The methods of this achievement may have been somewhat questionable, but I tip my hat to everyone who was involved. Serious dedication.

What is your stance on the usefulness of kitchen islands? I personally dislike having the little counter bit in the middle of my kitchen because it gets in the way and looks ugly. However, they remain extremely popular. #IntellectualsOnly

It's actually because Kaisdf is a Communist.