chuck norris jokes thread (roflmao)

[MisterGeneral 692]

Question :

Ho is chuck norris :?

[r_xpgamer0 8]

Question :

Ho is chuck norris :?

How are you alive and don't know who Chuck Norris is? Edit: His movies are terrible though.

[MisterGeneral 692]

Do i need to Google .__. ?

He is nobody lol to me :mrgreen:

[mes1 0]

didnt i already make one like this?

 

same here

 

lol but these ones are really funny keep it up guys!

[Contaminated 129]

Do i need to Google .__. ?

He is nobody lol to me :mrgreen:

 

Google Chuck Norris?

Bad Idea.

 

[jordanrusson 3]

Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the devil for his devlishly good looks and martial arts abilities. As soon as the devil had his soul, and chuck norris had his looks and abilities, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face, and stole his soul back. The devil admitted to ignorance and also that he probably should have seen it coming. They now play poker every third tuesday of the month. :XD:

[r_BLASTOISE-T120 241]

Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the devil for his devlishly good looks and martial arts abilities. As soon as the devil had his soul' date=' and chuck norris had his looks and abilities, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face, and stole his soul back. The devil admitted to ignorance and also that he probably should have seen it coming. They now play poker every third tuesday of the month. :XD:[/quote'] ... ROFL :mrgreen:

[Pi5T0L 1]

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure; Chuck Norris goes killing.

[Pi5T0L 1]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

[Pi5T0L 1]

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

 

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[Pi5T0L 1]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[r_BLASTOISE-T120 241]

when a normal alarm clock goes off you usually smash it. but with a chuck norris alarm clock, the clock smash's you...

[r_Clue1 4]

[r_BLASTOISE-T120 241]

ROFL! :XD: NICE :XD:

[Ranger7 75]

Things that kill Vampires: Garlic, Crucifix, Holy Water, and Chuck Norris :mrgreen: After a long discussion on what to do with Japan during WWII, the president of the United States decided to send the nuclear bomb on Japan instead of Chuck Norris. It was more humane :mrgreen:

[Deathsfire 10]

chuck noris is so strong he watches a workout video and gets buff

[jordanrusson 3]

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then it blew up. :XD:

 

A handicapped parking sign doesn't mean that handicapped ppl can park there. It is actually Chuck Norris' spot, and the sign means that you will be handicapped if you park there. :)

 

There once was a blind man who was begging for money on the street. He stopped Chuck Norris, and Chuck was angry because he was interrupted. He yelled "Don't you know who I am?!" The pure epicness of his yell cured the blind man's sight. Unfortunately, Chuck's Roundhouse kick was the first and last thing he ever saw.

 

Chuck Norris is so fast he ran around the world and kicked himself in the back of the head.

 

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack(if you don't get it it means his heart attacked him). His heart lost.

 

Chuck Norris was once sent into a battle. He met an enemy soldier who expertly threw a knife at his ribs that should have instantly killed him. Instead, the knife was sucked into his body and shot out his bellybutton at the very same man. It hit him in the neck, but before he died Chuck removed and threw again the knife 80 billion times. :shock:

 

JFK was not assassinated. When the 3 bullets were shot, Chuck Norris materialized and caught all 3 bullets in his beard. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

These are just a few good ones I heard. Keep 'em coming!