Classic Jokes and Riddles

[matthew8182 2]

Post all your jokes and Riddles here

 

For Example: Why did Everyone leave Hungry Jacks

Because Someone dropped a Whopper

[r_nuclearbom0 62]

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me beautiful, but WHAT THE HECK happened to you ?!

[r_AdvocatusDiaboli0 861]

Violets aren't blue. That's the biggest lie ever. They're VIOLET!

[Deathsfire 10]

Violets aren't blue. That's the biggest lie ever. They're VIOLET!

 

haha its a joke

[Pi5T0L 1]

:)Some people are like slinkys, when you push them down a flight of stairs they bring a smile to your face.

[r_sclam0 3]

Chicken A: Why are you crossing the road?

Chicken B: Because i feel like it.

Chicken A: Wait...... wha?

Chicken B: DUH!

Chicken C: *makes sound of a car coming*

Chicken A: You had better hurry

Chicken B: Nea.

Chicken D: *kills everyone with a knife out of confusion*

Chicken E: Now wouldn't this joke make a lot more sense if Chicken B just said something else? hmm?

 

:) Thanks

~Sclam

[r_nuclearbom0 62]

Chicken A: Why are you crossing the road?

Chicken B: Because i feel like it.

Chicken A: Wait...... wha?

Chicken B: DUH!

Chicken C: *makes sound of a car coming*

Chicken A: You had better hurry

Chicken B: Nea.

Chicken D: *kills everyone with a knife out of confusion*

Chicken E: Now wouldn't this joke make a lot more sense if Chicken B just said something else? hmm?

 

:) Thanks

~Sclam

 

I don't get it -.-, why does Chicken D kill everyone out of confusion? :shock:

[AwesomeBlake33712 13]

:? :?

[jordanrusson 3]

Yeah, that one makes no sense.

[r_nuclearbom0 62]

Yeah' date=' that one makes no sense.[/quote']

 

It has not worked out well, he should refine it as a more simple and shorter guide?

[r_sclam0 3]

LOL the thing that makes it funny is the fact thats its utterly confusing :) i got a few more though that r bnetter

[r_sclam0 3]

Person A: (holds up 4 fingers) How many fingers am I holding up?

Person B: That depends.

Person A: Depends on what?

Person B: It depends on how many fingers you are holding up.

Person A: Whaaa????

Person B: BOO YA!

 

 

Thanks :) i try to have funny riddles looks like person B is just to logical for person A :)

See u on the next joke! Feel free to comment!

[Pi5T0L 1]

Person A: (holds up 4 fingers) How many fingers am I holding up?

Person B: That depends.

Person A: Depends on what?

Person B: It depends on how many fingers you are holding up.

Person A: Whaaa????

Person B: BOO YA!

 

 

Thanks :) i try to have funny riddles looks like person B is just to logical for person A :)

See u on the next joke! Feel free to comment!

I get that joke.

[jordanrusson 3]

-.- Lets get some super funny jokes here. I had some really good ones last year but lost them all.

[swordfish12 12]

I Say! I Say!

A ship full of red paint crashed into a blue one!

The crew were Marooned!

[r_sclam0 3]

lolll very nice :)

 

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Whos there?

Tank!

Tank who?

Tank who will blow you up! *bam*

 

SUPORT TANKIONLINE!

[AwesomeBlake33712 13]

How did the wasp the squash the mammoth, total madness 'ey?

Fell off the top in the map "madness".

[matthew8182 2]

LOL!!!!!

[cheesehead95 0]

3 stages of a humans life

stage 1, u believe in santa

stage 2 u r santa

stage 3, u look like santa

[r_blacksunshine0 0]

Riddle

What is flat and has mountains?

What is dry and has water?

A map.

[Crusader 198]

LOL^

[r_AdvocatusDiaboli0 861]

I stand by my original "joke" (fact)

 

Violets aren't blue. That's the biggest lie ever. They're VIOLET!

[TheGoodTheBadTheUgly 1]

Roses are red' date=' violets are blue, God made me beautiful, but WHAT THE HECK happened to you ?![/quote']

 

dude u made me laugh out loud.

[TheGoodTheBadTheUgly 1]

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now."

 

The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

 

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I’m going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".

 

The Mexican man of course agrees.

 

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."

 

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

[Fjelstad1678 186]

Person one: KNOCK KNOCK

Person two: Who's there?

Person one: Interrupting cow

Person two: Interr...

Person one: MOO!!

:mrgreen: