Bored? Here are some funny jokes from comedian Gabriel Iglesias

[Rnewbs 0]

If you're bored and want to hear a good joke from an awesome comedian nighthawk1(me) and my buddy Montano00 heard this is a good place to hear them and if you got good jokes you can post them on this page.

 

Joke #1: Martin and Siri

After Season 1 of "Stand Up Revolution" with Gabriel Iglesias. They went on tour for a while they went all over the U.S. and as a gift from Gabriel he gave every of his buddies a new IPhone 4s. His firend Martin was so excited because of this feature called "Siri" where you hit the button and you can talk to the phone and it would help you like "Call Mario" Siri: "Calling Mario". But Martin sometimes jokes around with the phone like "Siri tell me something dirty" and the phone will take it literal and it reliped " Would you like me to locate a car wash?" Gabriel had fun watching Martin playing with the phone. A couple of weeks go by and they're doing a show at San Jose, California. They had fun doing the show and people inviting them to have fun and drink and eat so both Martin and Gabriel go have fun and then an hour later they meet back at the hotel and he sees Martin all drunk and someone helping him and Gabriel asks "Who are you" and the person replied " I don't know but he fell" dragging him to the hotel room he doest take off anything he sleeps with everything including his shoes so the next morning Martin goes to Gabriel's side of the Hotel room and he says "Bro" and Gabriel replies "Are you ok?" and then Martin says "Bro i peed on myself " and Gabriel's response was again HE PARTIED TOO HARD!. and before he would just laugh about it. and Martin says "Bro you don't understand my phone was in my pocket" Gabriel was like "no" and martin just said "yeah i drowned siri".Gabriel felt like heat attack and said "bro don't worry i got you covered imma get you a new phone". So they went to the mall and found an Apple Store and one of the employees help them and the employee said "How can i help you" Gabriel said "i was just wondering about replacing my friend's phone" and the employee just said "what happened to his old phone?" Gabriel replied "It got damaged" the employee just replies and looks at Martin "aww did someone drop it in the sink?" Gabriel was like " no, not exactly" and the employee says "Did someone drop it in the toilet?" Gabriel again thought "ha he wishes". The employee says to them "well we have some phones in stock would you like a white or black iphone?". Gabriel kinda explains "we both have the same color phone it's a white one, just so we got get confused in getting each other phones" he tells martin "would you mind getting a black iphone?" and Martin replies "yeah but does the black iphone have siri?". Gabriel thought "why wouldn't the black iphone have siri?". So Gabriel started thinking "would you imagine if a black iphone was really a BLACK iphone?".You know Martin gets in the car and asks siri "siri what's the temperature outside?" siri reply was "why don't you stick your head out the window". Then again "siri talk dirty" siri replied "You better not pee on me!" yeah i like that white iphone.

 

Joke #2: Pregnancy Scare

Gabriel starts "Ladies if you ever think you might be pregnant don't do what my girl did to me it's like 2 am I'm already asleep" and then his girlfriend goes"I don't feel good i think im pregnant good night".Gabriel wakes up "HEEYY!!". His girl says "what?". Gabriel starts girl we gotta find out" the woman goes well what you're going to do?". Gabriel says "*driving sound* 24 hour Walgreens that's what were going to do. Gabriel goes to a walgreens without a clue to where are the pregnancy test he goes thru all the aisle they don't have one that says "oops". So he started going up and down thru every aisle trying to find a pregnancy test and then he finds one and he looks around the stock and starts noticing all the other products in that aisle that were next to it and Gabriel notices that Walgreens, Walmart, Raid-Aid, and CVS had figured it out the evolution of life and they grab all the items neccesary for a life and put them in one aisle and order them according to how you mess up. Some people know what Gabriel is talking about, and the next time you go to one of those stores and see the aisle your going to laught your ass off and people are going to ask you "What's so funny?" and you reply "OMG fluffy". Because you're going to see the evolution of life. As soon as you turn the corner first thing you're going to see: condoms,lubercant, pregnancy test,pampers,formula and at the end of the aisle they sell BEER.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Rnewbs

[RabidNICK613 0]

thx bro this is funny xD