Interview [Issue 14] An Interview with an Isida

[Meliora 1,652]

 

Isida - arguably one of the most debated about weapons in the game. I caught up with him/her/it (to be explained later) and decided to ask a few questions regarding opinions on hulls, other turrets and different aspects of the game.

Note: This is a completely unedited account of the interview - some Isida users may find this upsetting.

 

 

Me: Hello, Mr Isida.

Mr Isida: Excuse me, but I’m female. Can’t you tell by the feminine ending of my name? I thought you Reporters were supposed to be good at English – clearly not. Also, address me by Ms Isida – not Miss, not Mrs, but Ms.

 

Me: Sorry, Ms Isida… Tell me a bit about yourself.

Ms Isida: Thanks for getting my name right. Well anyway, I’m Isida to you and the Germans, and изя (Izya) to the Russians. I was implemented on September 28^th 2009, and boy was I popular! I have the astounding and unique ability to heal teammates, and I can also heal myself when attacking enemies. When I first came out, I could heal myself just by holding down the spacebar – back in the good old days, that was. But then I see the developers became jealous of my stupefying brilliance and removed that feature. About my birthday though, I don’t remember seeing any celebrations; if anything, they should automatically have them – I believe I’m a fundamental part of Tanki gameplay now, and to see my birthday ignored is –

 

Me: Moving swiftly on, what are your hobbies?

Ms Isida: I like quite a few things, really. I’m a brilliant multi-tasker, the best you’ll ever know! I enjoy healing, attacking, healing, the odd bit of sabotage (don’t tell Eddy), healing, defending attackers from adversaries, healing, healing, and oh yes – my favourite – healing. I think I’d make quite a good nurse actually, mmm, isn’t that an idea… I can see it now, on the tallest billboard in Düsseldorf  “Ms Isida, heals within seconds!” – oh the money I could make… Er, anyway, there is a slight chance I may not have mentioned that I quite like healing… But my hobbies outside of Tanki? When I’m not on the battlefield myself I do enjoy watching hopeless tankmen try to win a fight without the aid of the beautiful, talented, gifted tanker called me…

 

Me: You did mention healing – quite a few times. What is your opinion on all the hulls and paints?

Ms Isida: My favourite hull, you mean? I’m quite offended by you asking; the great Isida works well on every hull, I’m just so super… But if I had to pick favourites, I’d say Mammoth or Hornet. Mammoth because when you are attacking you’re constantly getting health to add to the load you have already – you’ll be alive for ages. The less important factor is you can stay alive longer to heal your teammates. And Hornet because it’s fast with reasonable health, so you can get to your team quicker to heal them. Paints? I really don’t mind, as long as they don’t protect from Isida – that’s just a crime, OK? So, I despise the sight of Safari, In Love, Alien, Swash, Cedar, Electra, Urban, Irbis (42%! Is that even real?!), Taiga and Rock. Long list, eh?

 

Me: Are you aware that most tankmen hate you?

Ms Isida: Lies, lies! Gosh, I’m not liking this English community interview – the Russians love me! Deep down in everyone’s heart, they love me. Even you, my dear misinformed Reporter. Everyone loves Isida – that’s my trademark – ELI. You see, we heal people. It’s what I specialise in. Think about how low your D/L would be without the loyal Isida watching your back. We save you – because of us you can actually capture flags. Sure some accuse Isidas of feeding on players’ low health, preventing others from taking First Aid pick-ups, or healing flipped tanks just for the extra points. Even though there is a 99.99% chance this may be completely true, we’re just here for the crystals – *cough* – I mean, we’re here to be a great help to the team.

 

Me: ELI… That’s an anagram of LIE, which is what I think you’re telling there… Anyway, what is your favourite map?

Ms Isida: You're a pesky one, aren't you?! I don’t know how many times I’ll have to tell you this, but your job as a Reporter is to write articles, not to make anagrams of words. Now, about my favourite map, I prefer smaller maps with Hornet, and larger maps with Mammoth. Simply because in a smaller map you’re bound to be up against a Freeze (whom I despise), therefore you need a way to escape its wrath. In larger maps you’ll face Shaft, Smoky and Railgun. Of course you’ll have taken some damage by the time you reach an enemy, so Mammoth all the way; when you do find a foe, your self-healing feature will restore any damage you previously received. AND a drugged Isida is the best Isida. Remember that! Small maps: Farm, Island, Ping-Pong. Large maps: well, large is large, there are so many…

 

Me: What’s your opinion on the rebalance?

Ms Isida: B-R-I-L-L-E-Y-U-N-T. If that doesn’t spell ‘brilliant’, I don’t know what does! Self-heal was greatened very much – M0 tripled from 12hp to 36hp/sec, and M3 more than doubled from 24hp to 58hp/sec. Damage was doubled too, to my great delight! M0 went from 12hp to 30hp/sec, and M3 rose from 24hp to 50hp/sec. I guess the developers finally saw my true potential, and wanted to pay me back for getting rid of my ability to heal myself just by holding space. Well, they can now officially consider themselves out of my debt!

 

Me: Actually, ‘brilliant’ is spelt B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T. But before we part, what’s your best tip for Isida users?

Ms Isida: Two words: ‘SAVE YOURSELF’. If you see any flipped enemy tanks, damage them for the health you gain. Heal teammates when they’re flipped too. Just take advantage of everything – anything. Well, in truth, that’s what Isidas do.

 

Me: Well, that’s it for today. Thanks for your time, Miss Isida, and goodbye.

Ms Isida: That’s Ms Isida.

 

So there we have it. I dare say she is quite a fierce, arrogant and eccentric character... I can't exactly say I agree with some of her opinions/favourites, however I hope you found this interview entertaining and interesting.

[xTremeAluminium 1,379]

Good interview ;)

[hogree 4,179]

Your article did little to convince me that Isida-Mammoth was useful in big maps.... but it was still a brilliant read. :lol:

[r_eduardos1230 51]

Awesome :D

[I3loodShot 3,119]

Lol :lol:

[Raphael2 3,263]

I enjoyed reading this interview, good humor, good writing, good job !

[I.Devastation 2,053]

I enjoyed reading this interview, good humor, good writing, good job !

^

[MisterGeneral 692]

Very fun : good job :)

[r_BLASTOISE-T120 241]

an article full of laughs :D  gj :ph34r:

[Domagojce 4]

im using ISIDA cause , obviously , i love girls :D

Edited August 2, 2013 by Domagojce

[skitee 555]

Nice article. :)

[r_The-Player20 313]

I heal and kill flipped tanks. :>

[FaaiqBilal2 16]

funneh

[unholycloak5 1,814]

Finally it's out and it's a bit funny though. Good job.  :lol: 

[UAA619 97]

Nice article, but who is that Ms Isida?? O.o

[TheLonelyEpic 212]

Finally it's out and it's a bit funny though. Good job.  :lol: 

LOL; "it's a bit funny though." Great article Selena, pretty funny, although I might have something to say about your opinion on the Mammy/Isida combo and when to use it. Still, my favourite from this issue so far.

[r_lukyza0 1]

hey! isidas arent that rude and mean! still, awsome article man! 

[meronnatu 151]

cool

[Atakhan 1,229]

Nice article very entertaining :)

[Elliminated 23]

I LOVE YOU MS ISIDA!!!

[Zuzuca 94]

Great job, really funny.

[tankcalm 324]

Awesome weapon on drugs, but still you die to frequently, everybody focus on enemy isidas.

[r_Gold-Box-100000 80]

Honestly it was fun )

 

But I would say the best map is Gravity , with a heavy tank  ;)

You are the king of the battle with that  :P  and the annoying Freezers are down !

-> you can attack the enemy easily with tricks , are able to jump without shot  (for example :to escape with the red flag to the blue flag's base) , become the first of the team quickly 

 

 

Also in island , when freezer(s) join it becomes hard , they are better than isidas there

 

Edited August 9, 2013 by r_Gold-Box-100000

[Superlative 500]

It's good. Hope you get another chance.

[Truthteller 4,204]

Awesoem artical