Review [Issue 14] Tanki Tech and its Analogies - Part 1: Wasp

[Valletta 834]

 

 

---

 

     It has come to the point that Tanki Online desperately needs more money. Don’t ask. No time. The news we just received from the headquarters say that a very lucrative method of getting out of debt would be to integrate our machines for use on other duties. That is in other games, or in real life instead of different everyday equipment. A civil use for a battle tank? Oh goodness... Well, the first Tanki Online machine on the queue to sell to other investors is... Wasp. 

 

---

 

     Wasp. Indeed one of the most unusual tanks in Tanki Online, not really a tank in that matter. Barely any kind of self-propelled machine, worth doing work with, actually. And let's not even talk about civil work, such as delivering milk to your doorstep or serving as workforce for your garden... Or is it? Here you will see what analogical not-vehicles there are in other games and real life, how Wasp would perform in their place and vice versa. I'm still wondering who will fall for the trick and decide to invest in this... 

 

 

The T1 Cunningham

 

     Since this is a vehicle from our rival game, WoT, I won’t go in much detail about it :P Let’s just say it is the World of Tanks equivalent of Tanki’s Wasp. Rugged, unstable, one shot away from just about anything. Many refer to it as the “Trollingham”, as it basically only works for driving around with dangerous speeds and hoping to get a kill. One major difference separates it from our beloved Wasp, though – its inability to do any sort of parkour whatsoever. As some may know, WoT goes for the realistic approach of things, so if a T1 were to jump off the blue team’s flag in Silence it would most probably explode upon impact with the ground. Thank god we have our Wasp instead!

 

 

The Motorized (ride-on) Lawn Mower

 

     As unlikely as it may seem, the Wasp would be quite the substitute for this freak of machine kind that the lawn mower is. Since it is already used by lazy couch potatoes who don’t feel like walking to mow their lawn, why don’t we give it a little boost, huh? Stick a blade below the gearbox and put a sunbed in the place of the turret and there you go! An actual fun lawn mower that can accidentally run over the neighbor’s dog in its speed, and on top of that you can use it to pull your trailer on the motorway, considering it has the engine of a tank. Pretty neat, huh? Talk to me first when you’re patenting that!

 

 

Santa's Sled Puller

 

     Of course! Since everyone here is certain of the existence of Father Christmas, his exact geographical location and his willingness to spend some leftover money on some modern tech, then why not sell him some Wasps! It's been quite some time since those poor reindeer have had a break anyway.  I see it in my head! Petite Wasps in Christmas decorations equipped with antifreeze and upgraded tracks for the harsh conditions, speeding at at least twice the speed Santa Claus' old reindeer could achieve... Finally a use for Wasp's overpowered speed. It will be a lot more efficient, too - think of the cost reduction from all the wheat the man will be saving. The kids will receive their presents even faster if the Wasps put on an N2O package. A new business will be founded, "Express Santa", where the presents get delivered 3 hours early. Yes, this will be a real bargain! There goes tradition, though...

 

 

     We looked at a few potential uses for Wasp in other situations, as a substitute for its... design relatives (which also seem as useless as a solar-powered flashlight if not even more). Although Wasp is the most ridiculously looking hull in the game, it turns out that it is simply too good to just give away (or everyone is too afraid to put it in mass production). Although there are some quite lucrative methods to implement this little hull, and some of them are really tempting (I got a call from Santa Claus by the way), Wasp is perfectly charming as it is in-game and there is no excuse to sell it for service elsewhere. Looks like we will have to propose a different hull... Catch up for part two in the next issue to find out which one it is! 

 

[Raphael2 3,263]

T1 Cunningham is the Best Tier 1 tank :)

[tiger_of_malaysia 271]

no..its the loltraktor! ;)

[Raphael2 3,263]

^Lol! loltraktor.. :Lol:

[Valletta 834]

no..its the loltraktor! ;)

+1

[donut70 97]

keep going I want to see more tanks.

[Ilia.ArchangeI 6,785]

I found this rather amusing :) Nice work.

[r_Damn_Slow0 12,476]

hehe , wasp , my bunny tank :D   

 

well sell the design to some famous energy drinks (RedBull or Monster)  and let them figure out a new kind of Motorsport or Extreme-sport (X-Games) where the only wasps take part :P

 

 

also, for those who never tried it, go on moon silence and make some drifting sessions with wasp,, fantastic fun machine :D

[jazz20 1,181]

I love wasp's traction esp. when compared to hornet. It's fast, small, annoying......everything a wasp really is :P