Funniest Joke..!

[00igori02 46]

Police: where do u live?                                                                                   

Me: with my parents

Police: where does ur parents live?

Me: with me

Police: where do u all live?                                                                            

Me: together

Police: where is ur house?  

Me: next to my neighbors house

Police: where is your neighbors house?

Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.

Police: tell me

Me: next to my house

 

 

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!

911: Alright, What is it?

Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!

911: So what's your emergency?

Boy: The ugly one is winning. 

  

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"

*Nobody stands up*

Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"

*Little Johnny stands up* 

Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?" 

Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

 

 

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *walks away*

 

When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. 

I almost died in Finding Nemo.

 

i know sm of em butt forgotthem so i used a site to find the all joke :P

that is the funiest 2 jokes ive ever heard girl fight and teacher lol so funny my mom even laughed at em XD

[Daniel898 327]

Tom: Mommy can I lick the bowl?

Mom: No, Tom. You'll have to flush like everyone else!

 

          And...

 

Why was the mushroom always invited to parties?

He was a fungi! (Fun guy)

[lost8302 5]

One Chineese guy walks into a bar holding a gun to the bartenders face saying...

"Gimme the money!"

 

The bartender says, "Whats your name?"

 

Chineese guy, "Ching-Chang!"

[lost8302 5]

*giggle*

 

Kahah.....

 

HAHAHAHA!

 

:>)

 

Sorry my computer lagged, this was supposed to be a quote.

 

Sorry for the spam.

Edited August 13, 2014 by lost8302

[echo_bravo_alpha_111 12]

girl: wats the chienese of washington?

boy:ton shing wa

[Dont_hack_its_bad 17]

Bob: Our family sold our sheep for $400.

Rick: Our family just sold our new puppy.

Bob: What did you sell it for?

Rick: For pooping on the floor.

 

 

Think about it...

 

 

Jane: How much do you love me?

Joe: Count the stars.

Jane: Then its INFINITE.

Joe. No, its pointless.

 

 

Hmmm.... how do i end this one?

 

 

Timmy is at Kindergarten. His teacher asks him to recite the alphabet in front of the class. He says " I dont know the alphabet." The teacher says, learn the alphabet at home then. Timmy is at home now. He asks his mother, "What is the first letter of the alphabet?" His mother, who is talking with a co-worker, replies, 'Shut Up! I'm on the phone!" He goes to his Seven year old brother, who is watching television is very absorbed in the show. Timmy asks his bro, "What is the second letter of the alphabet?" His bro does not notice him. he says " Na na na BATMAN!!!" Timmy moves on to his father, who is teaching his 6 year old sister to do yard work. Timmy asks, "What is the third letter of the alphabet?" his father yells to his daughter, " In the garbage, in the garbage!" Timmy is back to the class the next day. The teacher says, "Okay class, Timmy will recite the alphabet for the class!" Timmy walks up. "Okay, you can start." His teacher says. "Shut Up! Im on the phone!" Timmy says, not suspecting anything. " Go to the principal!" His infuriated teacher yells. He goesTo the office. " What is your name, sonny?" the principal asks. Timmy, who is clueless, says " Na na na BATMAN!!!". " Where do you live?" the prinicpal asks. " In the garbage, in the garbage!"

 

 

 

 

Why dont these ever get put?

[pizzaslad 471]

What's Pikachu favourite hockey player?

 

P.K Subban.

 

Why? Because he goes 'P.K, P.K, P.K Ban!'

Edited August 13, 2014 by pizzaslad