Funniest Joke..!

[hhgb 2,655]

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

 

 

Carlos

 

[ll.DonT.Even.Try.ll 513]

-Boyfriend: Come to my home this evening. There will be nobody.

Girl came and yea, there was nobody.

[Latvian_troller 63]

-Boyfriend: Come to my home this evening. There will be nobody.

Girl came and yea, there was nobody.

If you don't understand this joke, then i'll explain it:

 

When the girl came, there was nobody (not even boyfriend).

[alex_is_the_best 87]

Funny jokes hahahaha. :lol:

[EuzLo 491]

A kid is at school and wants to go to the toilet. He asks the teacher "Can I go to the toilet?" The teacher replies with "Only if you can repeat the alphabet". The kid has no idea of the alphabet so he goes home to ask his family. The kid asks his mum who is chopping up carrots "Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" As she cuts he finger with the chopping knife she shouts "F***". "Thank you mum." He says. He then asks his dad who is playing darts, "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" As he hits the perfect round he shouts "180!!". "Thank you dad" He says. He then goes to his little brother who is playing with his superheroes. "Little bro, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" As he grabs the superman action figure he shouts "Superman!". "Thank you little bro". He says. He then goes to the baby brother who is playing with his little cars. "Baby bro, what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?" As he pushes his mini car along the table he shouts "In ma broom broom car beep beep!!". Thank you baby bro. He then goes to school and asks his teacher "Can I go to the toilet?" The teacher replies "Only if you can repeat the alphabet". The kid repeats. "F***". "WHAT!!! How many detentions do you want? She shouts. He replies "180!!". The teacher shouts "Who do you think you are?!?!" He replies "Superman!". The teacher shouts "And how do you think you're going to get away with this?!" He replies "In ma broom broom car beep beep!!" 

[magnaboy2 656]

^old but gold :D

[ll.DonT.Even.Try.ll 513]

- What are you mostly afraid of?

- Dentist and darkness. :|

- Darkness? Ha.. WTF? : D

- Ya, because there can be many dentists in darkness. :|

[Latvian_troller 63]

How to rob a bank:

 

1) Throw in a bottle of mash

2) Take all the money

3) Profit

 

Proof:

[ryansolanki 24]

What is a weight lifter's favorite sea food...

 

muscules!

[Dr.Urbi 657]

A guy goes to the barbers shop. Barber asks him: what would you like?

He says: I want to get my head shaved!

After 15 minutes barber comes back and says: i'm sorry, we couldn't find combain.

[metalcrusher 514]

Firingsniper A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?

 

^Love that one

[hhgb 2,655]

Why did the ketchup turn red?

 

 

It saw the salad dressing

 

[GeneralPie 603]

Why did everyone slow down when the man smiled?

 

 

Cause his teeth were yellow.

 

[okfighter 331]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.......

[CRIME_GUY 72]

A kid is at school and wants to go to the toilet. He asks the teacher "Can I go to the toilet?" The teacher replies with "Only if you can repeat the alphabet". The kid has no idea of the alphabet so he goes home to ask his family. The kid asks his mum who is chopping up carrots "Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" As she cuts he finger with the chopping knife she shouts "F***". "Thank you mum." He says. He then asks his dad who is playing darts, "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" As he hits the perfect round he shouts "180!!". "Thank you dad" He says. He then goes to his little brother who is playing with his superheroes. "Little bro, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" As he grabs the superman action figure he shouts "Superman!". "Thank you little bro". He says. He then goes to the baby brother who is playing with his little cars. "Baby bro, what's the fourth letter of the alphabet?" As he pushes his mini car along the table he shouts "In ma broom broom car beep beep!!". Thank you baby bro. He then goes to school and asks his teacher "Can I go to the toilet?" The teacher replies "Only if you can repeat the alphabet". The kid repeats. "F***". "WHAT!!! How many detentions do you want? She shouts. He replies "180!!". The teacher shouts "Who do you think you are?!?!" He replies "Superman!". The teacher shouts "And how do you think you're going to get away with this?!" He replies "In ma broom broom car beep beep!!" 

nice^^

[Amagi 1,728]

Student: Teacher, can I go to the toilet?

Teacher: MAY I go to the toilet, say it again.

Student: May I go to the toilet?

Teacher: NO!

 

Not my joke, but the number of times this happened in elementary...

Edited June 8, 2014 by Stinger911

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

By: @Yisroel.Rabin

Good morning ladies and germs (Stupid old joke, but not the oldest the oldest is. . . well you'll know when someone does it on you!), Welcome to the Jokes! Page in the Off-Topic Discussions of Tanki Online the (not so) famous muti-player game! 

In this topic you can share any of your "wonderful" jokes you can come up with! So basically this is a place where you can test your comity skills (if you have any). So, are you up to the challenge of being the funniest guy in the WORLD (of Tanki Online)?! If yuo do just think of a GOOD joke and post down below (in case you didn't know).

:excl: Please note: If you r joke isn't funny. . . well nothing will happen, just people might make fun of you by saying "OHHH! STUPID JOKE!" (well at least I would say that).

Thank you for taking part in this topic and have a good day, or night, or whenever you are reading this!

 

:)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;)  :P  :D  :lol:  :)  ;) 

Edited June 17, 2014 by Yisroel.Rabin

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

The Batlle

Big. . .  VS Small. . . 

WHO WILL WIN!?

 

We go to the battle find to find out. . .

 

So they battled. . . 

 

and they battled some more. . . 

 

But in the end. . .

 

THE SMALL WINS (SOME HOW) !!!

 

I hope you enjoyed that one!

Edited June 17, 2014 by Yisroel.Rabin

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Lol! I juts figured out there is alread a topic about jokes but that's in the chat and forum, there is a diffrence between them, and tha is. . . mine is better.

Still i found this pic and I couldn't stop laughing. . .

 

 

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Please dont close this topic!

Edited June 17, 2014 by Yisroel.Rabin

[FaaiqBilal1 795]

Similar topics have been created, nevertheless, most tankers seem to have little, or no sense of humor at all. 

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Similar topics have been created, nevertheless, most tankers seem to have little, or no sense of humor at all. 

:lol: that made me laugh

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Do you think I have no sense of smell. . . Oops I mean humor?

[Eclipse_Error_X 6]

Conversation in an immigration center.

Staff - your name, sir?

Immigrant - Ryle Gwapo

Staff - Sex?

Immigrant - Three times a day.

Staff - I mean male or female, sir.

Immigrant - It doesnt matter.

 

1 more

 

Girls are like biscuits...

they are tough until they get wet..

xD 

I litterally dont get it XD Male or Female, sir?? the staff said Sir :P XD

[Piety 70]

KNOCK KNOCK ----

 

who's there?

 

 

DEOXYRIBONUCLEICACID

 

what?

 

DNA

 

 

ok.