Other [Issue 15] If The English Community Was A City...

[hogree 4,179]

 

Ever wondered what it would be like if you just grabbed the English community together and dumped it into a town? If you have, then you're in for a treat. If you haven't... you're still in for a treat. Enjoy!

 

For the onlookers in the sky, there is no place more full of energy in the whole of the country of Tankinlinestan, than one booming city in the north-east of the country. The city, called Engerica, possesses just a small, though growing, amount of the population of the country. However, as always, the lively inhabitants made for a stand out sight. Though it has been heard for people to say that the city is “just a pile of trolls, i-love-trolls, i-hate-trolls and i-don't-care-about-trolls ”, it has to be reiterated that many of the country's tourist attractions are to be found in this thriving city, including the famous Big Bruce, the unforgettable Statue of Lucerty, and the legendary Lungdon Eye.

 

However, though it may have been a perfect picture from far above, the streets told a different story. A passer by walking through the city centre would be shocked by the amount of people sitting by the side of the streets begging. Invading every conversation on the high street were the ever present background pleas of “buy crys pls”, “trade accounts?”or “give pass”.

 

Though all throughout the centre, passers by interacted with each other (some in a more not-so-friendly fashion than others) the main area of social life in the city was undoubtedly the Forum, situated towards the centre of the.... centre. For all you readers, the word forum may be only internet-sourced in your view – some online discussion site on which you can post things regarding the forum's points of address. However, forums originally started in the real world. Particularly used in Ancient Rome, forums were large meetings, often held in the public square, to discuss topics of public concern. Engerica had set up their own, to hear from the inhabitants what they thought best to be changed, inside a huge building known in friendly circles as the GOT-PVC-FTC Square. And in public circles, it was proudly called the “Generally Off-Topic Problematic but not Violating Contest FAQ station for Teams and Clans”. Entering the forum was very popular, but a health risk, due to the amount of loud, often VERY loud discussions held inside. People often brought in ear plugs, before they realised they had gone in to hear discussions, took them off... and more than often, damaged their ears. Each day, all the forum lovers went in to shout their hearts off about random topics they had never heard about in their life.

 

The majority of men (and women) who were regularly inside the Forum were youngsters, seeking to gain reputation by putting their opinion in on every single subject possible that was on offer inside. One serious man seeking to lift a serious discussion topic titling: “Why Twins are too strong” (Obviously, he was referring to two siblings born at the same time) would rarely get by a single minute without some kid running in and screaming some nonsense about him being the twin of some random celebrity, generally Bruce Lunga, occasionally FederalBureauFBI,and even once someone was heard to claim to be the twin of joostcool. His claim was supported by the fact that his name was joostwarm. However, critics discovered within seconds that the fellow's claim was flawed mainly because he was a seven year old from New Zealand who had just minutes ago claimed that he had named himself after a Vietnamese spa company. Then again, generally, these kids were kicked out by the ever watchful forum moderators, but not before they had ruined the discussion topic, which rather had turned into some chat group for the forum critics about spaghetti bolognese.

 

However, waging war against the kids wanting to gain reputation by shouting tons of nonsense, were the forum critics whose form of combat was known famously as the three C's. Calmly, Commonly, Cruelly. Those were their ways of going about “stopping” all sorts of conflict in the Forum. They were always around. Their methods however, generally caused a lot of problems. Every time any discussion topic with a potential problem arose, it was addressed immediately. Some were the “Post it elsewhere” crew, some were part of the “Pointless discussion” crew and others just part of the “I like cheese” crew. However, all of them followed about the three C's incredibly strictly. The leader of this group Remaines to be unnamed.

 

My interpretation of the city centre so far may have led you to believe that it consists of little more than a massive Forum which is infested with random dudes shouting to make themselves heard, and a bunch of crazy people saying pointless stuff, bar the occasional useful discussion. Sounds really encouraging right? But you'll be glad to hear that that is not the end of it. Let me explore a day in the city centre.

 

The early morning newspaper had just been delivered and still, throughout the centre of Engerica, activity was gushing through the streets. As people walked by, attending to their daily needs in the centre, the famous “non-social hour” began as people just passed each other, all engrossed in the latest edition of “The Hamster”, the city paper.

 

The release of the newspaper, which occurred monthly was not the only big event today. The Dare Devils were to be hosting a massive football match against the Georgian Clan Crusaders, to decide who would win the Annual ShadowVision Cup. As predicted, people flooded indoors to see the big match, only for the stream, held by the company Micah7586 Ltd., to break during the match and the thousands of viewers were left staring at a blank screen. Meanwhile at the match, havoc reigned as Dare Devils argued their 1-0 loss to an “unfair decision” as their substitute, Gladiatorus, got sent off for stepping onto the field, before the player had left by the Referee, Vilmos98. According to them, the player's foot was on the line as Gladiatorus ran onto the pitch. The Cybersport Team are yet to comment.

 

People watching TV similarly demanded a payment back, for not being given their full worth of TV licensing. Thus, all viewers were given a 50% discount ticket on all “Hello Skitty” merchandise, a famous kids' show in Engerica.

 

Language was very similar to Engerica, to what it is like in our own personal lives. Looking upon a natural chat however, could show us a few different examples of uses in the Engerican language. I sneaked by one day to overhear a chat between splitterpoint and Lhamster.

 

Splitterpoint: “Yo dude.”

Lhamster:“Hey!”

S: “I saw you get beat up this morning by that pesky pig dude, whatever his name is. What a mult!”

L: “Yeah, I just whacked him over the head, it was all kool, no worries man.”

S: “Great, I'll be off then. Will you be at the farm tonight for my epic rank-up party?

L: “Yeah I'll be there, cya in the battle.”

 

It must be said, on ther other hand, that there was a very serious side to Engerica. Any misbehaviour in the town would be severely punished by the town's police service, led most prominently by the famous (or infamous, if you're a thief) yele. Once, she was heard to physically take down a 7 foot robber, who was making away with some valuable crystals from the museum. And if she didn't catch you, the mayor Semyon Kirov shook fear into all hearts. He and his sidekicks fought against all sorts of trouble that might arise in the city.

 

All the same, enjoyment was not at loss in Engerica. Indeed, it was a lively city, as was shown most evidently in the night time. People flooded out to see famous bands such as The Birthing Stones perform live, or watch solo violinist Lizerdgirl108 on her victory tour after her runners-up prize in the CONTA awards.

 

Just a regular day in the life of Engerica. But my last words must be credited to the one and only professor of philosophy, MadDog21.

 

Readers, welcome to my ending. You are vanished. Buh-Bye.

 

Edited July 31, 2017 by Hexed

[r_eduardos1230 51]

simcity picture? :D

[flae99_forumalt 46]

Nice job on this article :P

[already.dead 360]

Pff, nice but u frgt the famous zombie :D xD

 

 

also yele beating a 7foot person ._.

( i kileld yele with smoky wasp, she had mammy smoky savanna, we ''dueled' in a match kinda) :D

[D7D7 28]

If the community were city i wouldn't join it cause i know how it will look like 

[hogree 4,179]

simcity picture? :D

Google Images picture. TBH, IDK and IDC. ^_^

[Lankbouv 6,347]

 

 

 

Some were the “Post it elsewhere” crew, some were part of the “Pointless discussion” crew and others just part of the “I like cheese” crew. However, all of them followed about the three C's incredibly strictly. The leader of this group @Remaines to be unnamed.

 

 

Edited August 30, 2013 by Lankbouv

[r_eduardos1230 51]

 

 

 

 

Some were the “Post it elsewhere” crew, some were part of the “Pointless discussion” crew and others just part of the “I like cheese” crew. However, all of them followed about the three C's incredibly strictly. The leader of this group @Remaines to be unnamed.

XD

Edited August 30, 2013 by r_eduardos1230

[r_eduardos1230 51]

Google Images picture. TBH, IDK and IDC. ^_^

Yup it is SimCity....  :D

[Raphael2 3,263]

hahaha very good article ! Thanks for the laugh !

[TheLonelyEpic 212]

Ouch, that's a  real low hit on Remaine.  :lol:

[Atakhan 1,229]

Awesome article. Loved it.

[unholycloak5 1,814]

Ya, very nice article.  ^_^

[icerugby 1,886]

Nice. But a tiny bit long :)

[Lankbouv 6,347]

Hog is best reporter atm

 

thanks for getting at that noob for me :D

[Ilia.ArchangeI 6,785]

The leader of this group Remaines to be unnamed.

:lol: Laughed for 10 minutes straight.

[meronnatu 151]

XD boring

[lizerdgirl108 397]

Very nice xD

[noob101101 4]

MadDog21  was also spotted near the city centre saying as follows :

 

MadDog21 : Welcome to my noobs list. You are vanished. Buh-Bye. 

                   I am head of the noobs.

 

MadDog21 : Welcome to my " be careful with your spellings, else i will correct it within 1 second" list. You are vanished. Buh-Bye

                   I have 4 dictionary's . 1 on each side of me.

 

MadDog21 : Nice Article. I am mostly correcting spellings on server 2.

[SprayGround 2,851]

 

All the same, enjoyment was not at loss in Engerica. Indeed, it was a lively city, as was shown most evidently in the night time. People flooded out to see famous bands such as The Birthing Stones perform live, or watch solo violinist Lizerdgirl108 on her victory tour after her runners-up prize in the CONTA awards.

:D

Nice article.

Edited September 2, 2013 by wow

[joostcool 5,942]

This article is great, even before I got to the shocking confrontation you involved me :o lol, joostwarm is my twinsbro, I am going to search him on tanki :p keep up the good work hog, this article was great!

[datie9 72]

Nice one Hogree!

[skitee 555]

Pretty good. Really nice. :)

[r_AdvocatusDiaboli0 861]

it was all kool, no worries man.

Everyone blames kool -.-

[hogree 4,179]

Everyone blames kool -.-

Kool story bro