Contest [Issue 27] Can you Contribute to Tanki's Finest News Source?

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

I'd be lying if I said I liked it. It's far from what I think is the worst submission on this page (*cough cough lance armstrong story cough cough*), but still.

Yeah, the lance armstrong story :lol: ha ha!

[fahad_the_GREAT 208]

noobest's uprising cause of their name.

 

 

yesterday noobest leader complained tanki staff cuz people calle dthem noobs,noobest gang was really angry at these guys,as they teased them "youre so black that u get absent when the battles are at night,plus noobest like black paint,noobest challenged allthe clans to battle it,but after the battle was confirmed the noobest leader told his gang about the war,suddenly the whole "squad" vanished,there was only dust,in the battle field noobest got crushed by the other clans like ants,so readers i am telling you,NEVER GET ANGRY AT ANYONE WHO TEASES YOU otherwise it'll happen to ur clan too.

 

 

 

i know my writing is not very good,but i really like tanki online and i need crystals thats why i am posting this

my name is fahad_the_GREAT.

 

 

 

[fahad_the_GREAT 208]

 

Everyone goes mad and start eating their tanks alive and farts!

 

 It was reported that on Wednesday 17th September at 18:24 a group of insane black tanks encouraged the other tanks in the map silence to self-destruct when they re-spawned. The insane tanks were able to make other tanks self-destruct by shaking their butts while falling down. So the other tanks tried the same. Within a minute all tanks were shaking their booty and falling down killing them selves.

One of the insane tanks's team member ate his team member alive and became a hornet from a wasp. He then ate a dictator and became a mammoth and got a new mixture of paints  which he named 'FARTY'. It had a greenish color and this paint had a special feature which was that no gun could reach it as it's  smell was so bad that it melted the bullets and other materials when they even passed by!

Then all the the tanks started to eat their friends and became even bigger than mammoth and got paints like smelly,farty,pee,flu etc...

Then they started to pee,and fart and throw flu on each other instead of fighting with real guns. Then one of the tanks drank all of the pee and smelled all of the fart and tasted all of the flu which made him the biggest and the deadliest tank named 'God_mode_On/Off'.A new paint is expected to be added officially in Tankionline named 'FFP'(farty,flu,pee) which will make a tank immortal! How ever this paint cannot be bought but snatched!This virus has spread all over Tankionline and your tank maybe the next one to be swallowed or get melted by a special paint! "HAHHAHAHA you all are mad,im mad and everyone is mad!!! Just dig your grave and die in it!" one of the affected tank says.

 

this entry will never be winning,its so bad words

[ALEKSEJ0077 150]

 

Le entry

 

That is messed up man

[Guest Maserati]

love the runners  :wub: 

 

Evening XP battle

 

 

I joined a XP battle with my prodigi.

@Therider said:”Go out noob!”

I said ok ok [member=I.Always] win still

I changed to green paint and we said: “GO”

But on our team [member=Remaine] carried the flag [member=Damn_Slow]!

We started to blame each other and started to lose

But then on our team joined Mrs.Sparky and we all became [member= B.R.A.V.E]

But then on the opposite side joined @sky128

And we all started to lose and die!

@Therider started to laugh and say @I.Can-Beat_The-World

I said to my team flag!

But they were already.dead

And soon after @UnKnown_AngeLz left my team

 My team became @SoCrazy

“Come_on team! We Can’t Stop!”

But it was too late,

Why I.always.lose?

 sent me an invite to his Rankup

I accepted and left.  Hearing distant rumors: “Run Run”

 

 

 

_________________________________________________________

All names,ideas, and writing is purely fiction and holds nothing more then humor, any connection with reality is total coincidental 

eragon33

 

[UAA619 97]

                                     El Hamster seeking other's help for world dominance

News of Mr. Ee's 619 year-old friend, Mr.UAA, disappearing on the 13th of this month has been spreading like wild-fire in the past few weeks.  Rumours have spread that the 3vil Hamster has started work on his new plan for world dominance. His plan is to use UAA's "secret weapon", but since UAA refused to hand it over to the hamster, he has decided to take some serious measures to get his hands on this weapon. However, two investigators, Mr. Hirun Page and Mr. Fen El have reported that UAA has managed to pull off a major prank on the 3vil one by making him believe that he has a "secret weapon" capable of destroying the best teams in one shot, but is only an M2 version of the Fire-Wasp combo. Surely the 3vil one has better weapons to dominate the world. Mr.UAA hasn't made any comments on this, just giving the reporters a big smile when asked about it. 

 

However, the great Mr. Flea has claimed that there is no reality to this report. He said that UAA's ninja skills are too good for the 3vil one's puny weapons and that he is finally going to die in a mysterious way after watching over tanks for 619 years. Some people were totally shocked when they found out about UAA's age, to which Mr. Ee explained: "Ah, That's my son.(People were even more shocked at this). Well, the reason he's lived for such a long time is because I have been feeding him my special fried chicken legs in fear that he may eat me if he gets too hungry. But I'm a bit worried now as I've run out of chicken legs." To this, Mr. Flea claimed that we won't be seeing Mr. Ee either unless UAA decides to leave his due to his skinniness. And it seems that Mrs. Mia Numbers has decided to arrange a Funeral event for them.(The first ever in Tanki history)

 

 

No offence to anyone, k.

 

Thanks hog, for inviting me to participate in this contest. :P  Tho, I've only entered for the lolz. 

Edited October 11, 2014 by UAA619

[applications 993]

~RESERVED~

[Valkyrie23 17]

Smart Cool-downs conspiracy theory rising?

 

September 29, 2014, tankers were all hit with a strange type of drug similar to the standard tranquillizer; Ketamine. As BATMAN recalls, “It showed up as a server update or something, we still aren’t sure what it is exactly”. All tankers fell unconscious at 1am UTC and woke up at 3am UTC feeling dazed. “I thought I was dreaming” says one tanker. All supply and crystal boxes art design had been changed. Not very surprisingly, there were h8ters, in a survey conducted on EN S1, 99% of tankers voted “IT”S FREAKING UGLY!” and the last 1% voted “I love the new art”.

 

12 days later...

 

The new graphics isn't problem, recently a problem of diabetes in tanks has sky-rocketed. Wasps became hornets, hornets became vikings, and already overweight dictators were turning into monstrous mammoths!

 

In a short interview with Tanki_Doctor, the main surgeon in Tanki's Emergency Room. He expresses his concerns for the future generations.

 

Q: What has happened in the past week?

A: Since the supply update, we have seen a 40% increase of overweight tankers prowling the battlefield.

 

Q: What are the major problems of this weight gaining? Are there any suspected causes?

A: Yes, there are many, first of all, the hornet tankers have become super heavy vikings and dictators, they then punish the hornet and wasps tankers who managed to stay fit. We don't have any major reasons at the moment...

 

Weather Forecast:

SERVERE WEATHER WARNING:There will be a 90% chance of Rail and scattered Thudners in the area, remember to bring your emerald!

[hassaan2014 270]

Hi this is my news piece

 

 Lunch Time

Dear friends I will be most obliged to tell you the news that was all over the American breaking news and headlines. Also it reached the whole world nearly. It was highly amusing as to how the news was thought important enough to come on to the breaking news. Even more amusing is the fact that I’ve never seen a politician/governor/or ruler sharing every small information of his to the people. This might just come as a shock to you but the news what that Barak Obama president of the United States of America was getting lunch. Yes you heard me right getting lunch. I know you might disagree with me but it’s true. And the funny thing is even though there is a lot more important stuff that could be going on all over the country the news channels believed that the president buying lunch was worth coming on breaking new and was “more important” than anything else more serious.

[Daan71A 0]

ENYONE HELP ME!

how to make a acc with test server?

[Thekillerpenguin 1,731]

ENYONE HELP ME!

how to make a acc with test server?

You're not on the right thread. In the future, questions like this should be in the Questions and Answers thread in the FAQ section.

 

You can't make an account on the test server unless it's open testing. It's not open testing right now, so I wouldn't bother.

[Tanker1928374655 133]

^{Tanki continuously to improve the game, but are those improvements helping?}

^{By: Tanker1928374655}

 

^{Introduction:}

^{Tanki is releasing updates at the speed of light, but is everyone happy about these updates? We interviewed many players to ask for their opinion. Overall, many players were satisfied and feel that the game is getting revolutionized. UndefeatedTanker a contributor says "Updates has improved the game significantly and is making Tanki ahead of its time." But while many players are praising Tanki, BaconSwag another contributor says "These updates have considerly blown of people who have just started this game, and many are quiting because of the exceeding amount of updates. In one battle I invited many of my fellow tankmen to talk about this hot topic. The debate was about whether these updates are helping or not.}

 

^{Smart Cooldowns and New Boxes:}

^{Weeks ago, Tanki relesased a update in order to control the amount of supply users, or druggers. This update has upset many tankmen. Many druggers plan to quit Tanki and find another game. UndefeatedTanker said in defense of this update, "Druggers ruin the game. They take large battle funds and also really don't have much skill. They activate all the drugs at once, and you pretty much can't really fight back unless you have the drugs. Bacon Swag yelled back with disapproval saying, "But if you have the crystals, you should be able to have drugs. This is a democracy and we can use drugs when and where we want to!" Tankmen generally approve of the smart cooldowns because of the doubling of supplies and loads of daily rewards. But most tankmen agree that there are things that may have ruined Tanki, which was the color of the boxes. Many tankmen hear the siren and see Gold Box will be dropped soon, and they get those drugs on one at a time, but by the time the gold falls, their armor is falling apart. The thunders and railguns pelt them, but they can't use their health. They also realized the "gold box" wasn't even the real gold box, it was just a nitro! They spun their turrets only to see that a isida just casually walked by and took the gold without any drugs. Almost all tankmen have experienced that, and called to Tanki to make a change, and they did. Again, tankmen are happy Tanki listen to them.}

 

^{No more Ratings:}

^{Do you still remember the time when people actually played well, just so they can be first in all of Tanki, remember? Well now there are more reasons for tankmen to relax and play at their pace. Many tankmen were up to ratings well below 500000, and now with no more ratings just keep self destructing. Many tankmen feel no need to play hard, it their d/l ratio is low, who cares! UndefeatedTanker comments saying, "That has just crushed my dreams of being first, now I just feel like... equal, and everyone is the same except for their rank." BaconSwag disapproves and says, "Now I can parkour freely, and I don't have to look at my rating drop. Now I can also play without as much pressure. Thank you Tanki!" Many tankmen use ratings to see where they are at compared to their friends. Maybe Tanki took out ratings so we wouldn't be so competitive against our friends. Who knows?}

 

^{New Gold Box and New Hull Kits being announced:
Many colonels have been saving a lot of crystals for the loved Light M3 Kit, the unbeatable m3 railgun and hornet, but those dreams are getting put down, when Tanki announces that they are going to get new kits. The kits do have better sales, especially if there is already a sale on an item. But many tankmen like me have complained that these kits aren't going to give us the edge on a battle. Many tankmen only buy kits so that they can have an edge in battle, but these new kits are meant for value. Tankmen who only want value and affordable kits, Tanki have granted them the wish. But for those tankmen like me, Tanki has made those kits useless, and we would rather get the items separately. Also, the new gold has been changed to a white box with gold around it. UndefeatedTanker says that this has made the gold look like a plain white box worth a thousand crystals. He feels that the gold box should be what its called, GOLD. But BaconSwag says its reasonable, Tanki has tried its best to add gold and get rid of the confusion with nitro and the GOLD BOX.}

 

^Conclusion:

^{Tanki has added many updates, but do you feel they are necessary? Many argue they are usless, but some argue they help them play Tanki more often. So after reading this article, do you feel that these updates are useful? Quote my story and leave comments. And don't forget if you liked it, click the up vote button.}

Edited October 16, 2014 by Tanker1928374655

[jazz20 1,181]

A Godly Crisis

By Jazz20

Now for those of you who know, the most recent game changing update Tanki inflicted all tankers alike with is smart cooldowns. Many tankers were wondering, especially the Facebook community, on what would happen to Godmode_ON. Of course, this question, which happened to be the most popular question, was posted on Tanki's Facebook Q&A Session post. To many player's dismay, the question was completely ignored. Thus, many players had to go to their imaginations: what would happen to Godmode_ON now that his perks were basically on cooldowns? I asked many tankers this question and as expected, I got an array of answers. Some tankers told me straight up that Godmode_ON was finally dead. Others thought that he was exempted from cooldowns, which would basically make him impossible to kill. Most tankers explained that the game creators were probably at a stand still on what to do with this "mysterious" account. We won't know until Tanki explains the situation through one of their V-logs or if someone is able to video tape Godmode_ON and post the vid online. Until then, we are left with nothing but our imaginations. For the time being I have a new name for the account that would suit the situation: Godmode_Pending.   

[Shalamer 135]

 

 

THE DREAM CRUSHER

           The buzz and excitement created by the Izida sale was electric, to say the least. I for one, was just about as ready as could be to switch from freeze to izida. So I buy the m1, and then realize that in a mere 15k xp points, I will rank to lieutenant colonel, which means I could buy the m2. So I embark on the tedious mission of ranking in a couple of hours. After coming back home from taking a test, I have 2 hours to rank 5k xp. An easy task, one might think; well one couldn't be more mistaken.
          So here I am ranking, doing fairly well, and I decide to join a Control Point map, because, well it's the most efficient ranking-up map, in my opinion. So everything is going extremely well; I'm first in my team with a fairly nice D/L ratio. Until I made a big mistake. So I re-spawn after being brutally massacred in the point-pit, and I see a double damage on somewhere in the near distance. At the same time a big mammoth sees the same pick up, and we race. Naturally, my trusty m2 hornet beets him to the chase, and I make a couple of laps around him ( not that kind of lap, PERVERT) and freeze him to death. To my dismay, as I will soon find out, he had quite a temper and a burning hate for freeze. He mutters something in a language unknown to me and I simply shrug it off "no biggie", i say "calm down, bro". So the battle continues, still around 200 points to go, and here, I see another pick up and drive towards it. Unbeknownst to me, the mammoth was waiting for me. With thunder. On drugs. Not exactly the sight I was expecting, if you know what I mean. So I die, re-spawn, the battle continues for another five minutes. Here I am at the point, camping out and waiting for any opponents smart enough to take me on. Suddenly, from out of nowhere comes the mammoth, literally sits on me and poops a nasty mine.

         Everyone has a good laugh, including me, and I keep playing. In a couple of minutes, the "Gold Box Will Be Dropped Soon" sign appears, and a shiver runs down my spine, as always, and I put on double armor. While everyone is figuring out how to outsmart everyone and get the gold box, mammy over here decides to crush my dreams. He didn't care about the gold box, what he did care about, was me getting the gold box, so for the next 30 seconds he made it his personal goal to blast me to smithereens amongst the havoc. While everyone has been blasted to bits, I patiently wait on the side, and here, a clear passage to the 1000 crystals. I'm 3 feet away when I get T-Boned by the same cursed M2 mammoth, I barely skim through, and am about to reach box when he miraculously ends up on me and poops another stinker. The funny thing is, he didn't even get the gold box, he simply guarded it to make sure I wouldn't get it. So the battle ends, I get my share of some 700 crystals, and then the battle restarts. Everyone leaves, except for me and mammy. So I'm driving, and once again, I see a pick up. To my amazement, mammy is in on the race again. This time, though, he doesn't shoot, but instead gives me the "you sure you want to pick that up, kid?". I knew better. 
           The saddest part of it all, is that I ranked up five minutes before the end of the sale. I rush to the garage with minutes ticking to get my well-deserved isida, and right then, I swear I face-planted my bologna sandwich.  To my utmost disappointment, I was 1,000 cruel crystals away from getting my dreamed of m2 isida. If I would've gotten that gold box, I'd be healing my teammates at this very moment. Alas, my dreams were mercilessly crushed...as literally as can be. Like crushed, as in "mammoth on top of my puny hornet" crushed.

 

Edited October 12, 2014 by Shalamer

[Guest Maserati]

Good Luck shalamer +1

 

 

 

THE DREAM CRUSHER

           The buzz and excitement created by the Izida sale was electric, to say the least. I for one, was just about as ready as could be to switch from freeze to izida. So I buy the m1, and then realize that in a mere 15k xp points, I will rank to lieutenant colonel, which means I could buy the m2. So I embark on the tedious mission of ranking in a couple of hours. After coming back home from taking a test, I have 2 hours to rank 5k xp. An easy task, one might think; well one couldn't be more mistaken.
          So here I am ranking, doing fairly well, and I decide to join a Control Point map, because, well it's the most efficient ranking-up map, in my opinion. So everything is going extremely well; I'm first in my team with a fairly nice D/L ratio. Until I made a big mistake. So I re-spawn after being brutally massacred in the point-pit, and I see a double damage on somewhere in the near distance. At the same time a big mammoth sees the same pick up, and we race. Naturally, my trusty m2 hornet beets him to the chase, and I make a couple of laps around him ( not that kind of lap, PERVERT) and freeze him to death. To my dismay, as I will soon find out, he had quite a temper and a burning hate for freeze. He mutters something in a language unknown to me and I simply shrug it off "no biggie", i say "calm down, bro". So the battle continues, still around 200 points to go, and here, I see another pick up and drive towards it. Unbeknownst to me, the mammoth was waiting for me. With thunder. On drugs. Not exactly the sight I was expecting, if you know what I mean. So I die, re-spawn, the battle continues for another five minutes. Here I am at the point, camping out and waiting for any opponents smart enough to take me on. Suddenly, from out of nowhere comes the mammoth, literally sits on me and poops a nasty mine.

         Everyone has a good laugh, including me, and I keep playing. In a couple of minutes, the "Gold Box Will Be Dropped Soon" sign appears, and a shiver runs down my spine, as always, and I put on double armor. While everyone is figuring out how to outsmart everyone and get the gold box, mammy over here decides to crush my dreams. He didn't care about the gold box, what he did care about, was me getting the gold box, so for the next 30 seconds he made it his personal goal to blast me to smithereens amongst the havoc. While everyone has been blasted to bits, I patiently wait on the side, and here, a clear passage to the 1000 crystals. I'm 3 feet away when I get T-Boned by the same cursed M2 mammoth, I barely skim through, and am about to reach box when he miraculously ends up on me and poops another stinker. The funny thing is, he didn't even get the gold box, he simply guarded it to make sure I wouldn't get it. So the battle ends, I get my share of some 700 crystals, and then the battle restarts. Everyone leaves, except for me and mammy. So I'm driving, and once again, I see a pick up. To my amazement, mammy is in on the race again. This time, though, he doesn't shoot, but instead gives me the "you sure you want to pick that up, kid?". I knew better. 
           The saddest part of it all, is that I ranked up five minutes before the end of the sale. I rush to the garage with minutes ticking to get my well-deserved isida, and right then, I swear I face-planted my bologna sandwich.  To my utmost disappointment, I was 1,000 cruel crystals away from getting my dreamed of m2 isida. If I would've gotten that gold box, I'd be healing my teammates at this very moment. Alas, my dreams were mercilessly crushed...as literally as can be. Like crushed, as in "mammoth on top of my puny hornet" crushed.

 

 

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

ENYONE HELP ME!

how to make a acc with test server?

Totally off topic... So many things to say right now, best if I keep them in my head though.

[Shalamer 135]

Good Luck shalamer +1

Thanks, shadow :)

[DangerousDarragh 6]

I might try myself good luck guys

[Cook.My.Sock 269]

XP players cause havoc at Perm.

By 

 

It has been years since  a large part of tanki players have been asking for a new XP format. But over the years they have never been answered nor given a clue about the implementation of a XP format.( Though in one of his press conferences Semyon Kirov suggested that he will be looking into this matter after completing his worldwide "I am too handsome for you" campaingn of finding him a girlfriend . Many of community members insist that this will keep going on for years, until inevitably his death occurs). The tension has been rising and now it finally seems like it is going to erupt as thousands and thousands of XP players have gathered at the Tanki HQ at perm, Russia. Even the well known reporter Hogree was also  seen holding a board with a slogan saying " I hate perm, I love Sperms"

 

 

 

Semyon posing with a girl for his "I am too handsome for you" campaign.

 

 

 

 

Does Semyon and this baby look close enough?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not stopping there, the protesters have also formed a new alliance named WLSM (We Love Semyons Mother) movement to spread word on getting the XP format ASAP. 

 

Meanwhile the founder of Microsoft corporation Bill Gates ( Who plays in his well maintained account ) stated that he will be supporting the cause by starting the production of Windows XP again and funding the WLSM movement.

 

 

 

Bill gates stating his ideas on the importance of new a XP format.

 

 

 

The leader of the WLSM movement, phlae99 affirmed that he will do whatever possible either the good way or the bad way to get the XP format done. He also mentioned that there are thousands of M3 railgun hornets ready to breach into the tanki headquarters at his word, at any given time. 

 

Many questions await to be answered in every tanker's mind. Is this the beginning of a 3rd World War?  Will this be the end of the world? and most importantly will Semyon ever find a girlfriend?  Time will answer all of these...

 

-to be edited/ completed.

 

All names,ideas, and writing is purely fiction and holds nothing more then humor, any connection with reality is total coincidental

Edited October 14, 2014 by Cook.My.Sock

[ziddha 210]

Tanki plyers take up their weapons to free Presidents

-ziddha

 

The recent kidnapping of the russian and American president from the continent of antartica has sent panic through out the world .

They are belived to be imprisoned near Nigeria and North Korea has taken complete advantag of this situation by attacking China,Japan,India and southkorea to Nan a few countires .

These situation have gone out of control when they came knocking on Russia . This prompted all the Tanki fraternity to rake up theri best combos and free these states and soon find ways to liberate the presidents from their captivity . The Tanki players are being led by the very able commander generalissmo Gasmode_on. The commander was quoted saying," I belive we can fight the enmey forces using the newest weapon 'stink bomb' . This weapon has been tested on various aliens and we hve been successful . Bow the Koreans need to fear the gases that our whole fratenity will be releasing soon . If every one of the 20 million Tanki players release their farts towards the Korea I am pretty sure that they will take centuries to wake up again .'

Further Mr Semyon has confirmed 95% dicount on fart machine if tanki emerges victorious

May god be merciful as we players facing inflation and steep price increament this I a welcom news for all of them. Tanki gas further notified all the players will receive 50k crystals after looting Korea .

 

 

 

 

 

All the things mentioned above are purley imaginative . Any resemblence to anyone , living or

dead , is regreted and in no way am I, ziddha,insulting any country or citizens.

Edited October 14, 2014 by ziddha

[FaaiqBilal1 795]

Weddings in tanki? 

'I already told you.' says a respectable pig in the community, commonly known as 'Hogwee', 'We should've stopped them before this started, we should have!'

 

The above context is the statement of a pig on a new trend - weddings. After the wedding of two well-known Archangels of the community, the community has collective responses. Since the bride and groom only invited those who could be 'trusted', all other members considered themselves 'untrustworthy' in the eyes of the Archangels. No comment has been given by either bride, or groom for this matter.

 

Most of the community had a positive opinion about the wedding and wished the Archangels good luck. However, enthusiasts researched further about the chain of events that had taken place in the ceremony. Just hours before the ceremony began, 'Seemon Keerof', the community manager of the English community suddenly rose to the rank of First lieutenant, for which he was accused of hacking. The court has detained the community manager and he awaits trial. No further comment has yet been given on this matter. 

 

Another even that gathered the attention of all of the community was the proclamation of 'love towards Satan' by 'Heather15905'. As soon as the wedding was other, Heather15905 proclaimed he was in love with Satan, for which Satan who was secretly in the wedding replied 'Can't we just be friends?'. Upon hearing this statement, Heather hung himself from a tree, and committed suicide. No comment was given by Satan on this matter.

 

In other/unrelated/irrelevant/irrelative news we have currently found out that 'Afrotonymathew2' lost his afro, which was forcefully shaved off and set on fire. Since it was already confirmed that he is powerless without his afro, he went into hiding. Some say that his new identity is 'Lero'. The news is yet to be confirmed. 

Edited October 17, 2014 by FaaiqBilal1

[r_davinson46463a0 147]

FederalBureaFBI ranked up!!!!

 

The facebook moderator admin/forum mod/consultant admin the 1 and only: FederalBureaFBI ranked up!!!!!! After years on spending helping peopelhe decided to take a brake on spending hours on the forum and to play tanki!! Many peopel spotted him in server 20 (EN) in a polygon DM battle! Using the classic hit and run combo: hornet-railgun both m3! He was owning everybody ofcourse he owned them by using drugs <_< peopel we're amazed that an admin/mod was drugging with no mursey! After an hour playing in a DM he finally ranked up the with a big refund from the battle the peopel in the battle congrulationed him! When he was done spending time in tanki he crwled back into the forum like a little puppy getting home from big party may he had a good time on the battlefield!

[aakash.100 0]

tanki horror

 

​what else October is known? all the tankers wait for Halloween every year. obviously it's one of the biggest festivals celebrated world wide. lately many tanker have been demanding for some horror.i called up some of the tanki players and asked them what was their opinion on Halloween and they said "Halloween is [chomp] the best [chomp] festival [chomp, chomp] i have [gulp] celebrated in my [burp] life".   so , presenting the worlds most horror stuff, that is-hold your breathe-the Horror-scope.

 

isida: you are a tanki player for sure and use isida. [i am sure this is true because i am a world wide predictor [but fake]]

rail-gun ;you are currently reading this horror scope and you most probably stay in touch with tanki's forum but watch out you are soon going to encounter a really good player in a battle so better watch out.

fire bird: you commonly use wasp/hornet/wiking [one of these and i think you are about to vote my post [please] 

​shaft : your eider a really good aim-er or maybe you want to become a professional and hog some tasty food.

okay bye till you hog some nuggets and make me win.

                          happy Halloween  

 

  

[Meliora 1,652]

---

Controversy as the new not-so-gold box design is revealed. 

 

Earlier in the month, a change was made to the look of the gold box, after the update to the supply boxes along with Smart Cooldowns. Nevertheless, users have complained that the new gold box simply isn’t… gold. The graphics were changed after numerous reports revealed that the previous look reminded players too much of chocolate, causing them to become distracted by the sweet treat’s connotations.

   One frustrated player said, “I couldn’t stand the look, I just couldn’t! I was about to grab the gold, but then… it became a perfect cube of chocolate, melting in my mouth, bursting with flavours, every particle sweet against my tongue…”

 

Semyon Kirov has described the change as having a “unique colour scheme”, with an “unmistakable look”. However, rumours have been spreading that the design was chosen after a developer, having downed his fifth pint of vodka, toppled drunkenly into a bucket of white paint, which splashed all over the model of the new box to leave only linear traces of the previous gold. Anton Volkov has refused to comment, although it was noted that his boots were ridden with unusual white marks.

 

Following the update, a large number of players took to the forum to express their confusion. One expert, Dr H. Riaz, commented: “the new Gold Box I am sorry to say is toooo uggghhhh too ugly!! and it looks like white box I think”. However, some did defend the update, with Damn_Slow claiming that the new gold box being white wasn’t the main issue: “Oh dear, big dilemma.., but then again, it never really was gold in the first place. Devs’ Alchemist Philosophy:  Diamonds X 1000 = Gold”. The use of alchemy in the TO office is yet to be confirmed.

 

 Well, that’s just about it – but don’t be surprised to see “White box will be dropped soon” appearing on your screens in the near future.

Edited October 21, 2014 by Meliora

[r_blackflag2220 15]

                       PAINT REVIEW: PICASSO

price: 276 000 protection: -20% freeze, -20% thunder, -25% railgun, -30% shaft

available from: commander

picasso is definitely not your average paint. Its good in short range but mostly long range. If you this is hate getting one shoted by shaft, this is good for you. If you hate getting hit by railgun, this is good for you. If you hate thunder with nuclear, this is good for you. And if you hate freeze making circles around you... this is good for you. As you would be able to tell by picasso's bright green colouring's and texture this is definitely NOT meant for camouflage. But, even though tanki says that some paints are good for camouflage... none can really hide you completely, though if you like hiding in bushes and sniping or sneaking through them into enemy lines, then i wouldn't recommend this paint. Even though this paint has its upside's it also has its downside's (like every paint) and i feel obliged tell you about that. As i said before this is not meant for camouflage, and in its description it says “able to defuse even the most powerful of hits” now i have to admit that 20%, 20%, 25% and 30% is quite good but defuse seems like such a strong word. I would use weaken. So not that many downs for this outstanding paint. This paint would work best with hornet, as you'd be able to survive the dreaded shots from the all mighty shaft and reduce the damage of railgun to make it 3-4 shots for a kill ( m3 no MU'S) . Now thats great for hornet plus all that speed. Now that leaves us with -20% freeze and thunder. For thunder that would be 11 to sixteen shots (m3 no MU'S). and for freeze that's 33 tics! (16 seconds at m3 no MU'S). as you can see this is a mighty paint good for loads of people. I said that this works best with hornet but that doesn't mean that it isn't great with other hulls.

-blackflag222

 

 

                         Micro upgrades: small but mighty

before i get into this lets just review what micro upgrade's your equipment can have:

firebird: damage, reloading, rotation speed, range, and burning time

freeze: damage, reloading, turning speed, and range

isida: healing, damage, self-healing, reloading, and rotaion speed

twins: damage, impact force, rotation speed, range, and damage at max range

ricochet: damage, impact force, reloading, rotation speed, and range

smoky: damage, impact force, rotation speed, critical chance, and critical damage

thunder: damage, impact force, reloading, turning speed, and range

railgun: damage, impact force, reloading, rotation speed, and penetrating power

shaft: damage in sniping mode, damage in arcade mode, reloading, impact force, and rotation speed

hulls: protection, speed, turning speed, weight, and power

 

what i noticed is that smoky does not have reloading upgrades and freeze only has four upgrade's. So i guess that the micro upgrade limit is 5 per turret/ hull. But i thought “why?” then i realized it's because of the % off for the next level (m1, m2, m3)! But why not just reduce the percentage for each micro by a bit? Then smoky could have reload upgrades. And maybe each turret could have there own unique micro's. Here's some suggestions:

fire: already has one

freeze: cooling time (how long it takes for the enemy to thaw), cooling rate (how frozen the enemy could get)

isida: already has some

twins: already has one

ricochet: projectile speed (how fast the plasma ball can travel)

smoky: already has some (but needs reload!)

thunder: splash damage (how much damage the explosion does), splash radius (how big the explosion is)

railgun: already has one

shaft: already has one

-blackflag222

The art of mine laying

                                    the art of mine laying

. Do you think that mine laying is easy? Do you think its fun and games? WRONG!! it is not fun and games... at least not all of it *maniacal laughter in the back round*you have to now when and where to lay your mines. So that's what we'll talk about. First you have to be certain that they will run over the mine. So lay it in a really common spot. Or lay it if an opponent is just on your tail. Then you can watch there frustration. Another way to do it is to put it on a spawn point. Either leave it there and run off. Or stay on your enemy, lay it and stay on them until there on your mine. and remember: if you die then so does your mine! Meaning you won't have as much fun *baby crying in the back round*

-blackflag222

Edited October 23, 2014 by r_blackflag2220