Interview [Issue 28] Miss Isida Interviews: hogree

[hogree 4,179]

 
Are we live? Testing testing. Hello?

 

"Hello. This is a recorded message. This month, the Tanki Reporter HQ was breached and several reporters were taken hostage by a masked group of invaders. Their leader? Me. Ms Isida."

 

"Just over a year ago, one of the most terrible events of all time occurred, an event which has scarred me for life. A member of your team took me and interrogated me before publicly revealing the interview with my very self, in which she disrespectfully labelled me a "fierce, arrogant and eccentric character". Not only did this break the terms and conditions which I had set in taking part in such a vulgar procedure, but it also caused me to lose face in front of several of my colleagues. And now, it is time for me to take my revenge."

 

"Under my own totalitarian power, I plan to release these secret interviews for you, readers, to finally see the truth behind their fake facade and for the very first time see what these reporters are like when faced with a greater being. First up? hogree."

 
Miss Isida: Hello hogree. What an absolute pleasure to speak to you today.
 
hogree: Hi mate pleasure to talk to you too though I always preferred Firebird.
 
Miss Isida: I'm not your mate. Can you please shut up and listen.
 
hogree: Alright mate keep your hair on.

 

Miss Isida: I am NOT your mate.

 

hogree: Fine. Fine. Sorry. Yes, Miss. Absolutely. 

 

Miss Isida: Please don't call me Miss. It's Ms Isida. How many times do I have to tell you. You reporters are so dense. 

 

hogree: Right you are. Sorry, Miss. I mean, Ms. Wait what isn't ms the same as miss or did i miss something. *pause for effect of pun*
 
Ms Isida: OH WOW I knew reporters were dumb, but that's about as moronic as it gets. Considering your obvious lack of intelligence, I won't bother explaining the difference. And yes, I saw what you did there. It was dreadful. How do you go about enjoying life with such a small brain?

 

hogree: LOL I don't believe you, I think you missed the pun. As for my brain, it is extremely dense, and by dense i mean small but tightly packed with information obviously. A bit like a nice yoghurt packed full of granola. Seems plain, but inside, it's got everything you need.

 

Ms Isida: Naturally. Now, that is what you call an actual intelligent pun. Natural. Yoghurt. Learn, you half-witted reporter. That's how you do it.

 
hogree: You have a natural talent for jokes.

 

Ms Isida: *cold glare* Let me do the talking. I was rudely asked by your former colleague in our talk last year of whether I was aware of the fact that "most tankmen hate me". Obviously, she was quite clearly deluded, as I calmly asserted in my response of my ability to heal, heal and heal. All the same, I throw back the question to you. Does it bother you that most players think of you as little more than an extra piece of English homework?

 

hogree: Typical Isida. Blinded by your own greed, like normal. Just because you are less mentally capable does not mean that normal people don't enjoy reading. Boom Boom shots fired. Oh yeah, wait, I forgot, you can't fire shots can you...

 
Ms Isida: If you keep on like this, I'm going to report you to the authorities. Believe me, when you face Mr. Thunder, you won't be so cocky. As you clearly are not co-operating, I'll ask you a simpler question. When your brain is actually operating, do you have any thoughts on your fellow colleagues?
 
hogree: Tbh most of them are just a bit you know not so packed out in the head area if you get my drift. Thankfully we have a supply of pancakes in the fridge so everyone performs to a high standard apart from when Fen eats them all.
 
Ms Isida: Cool. <-- Another great pun right there, hogree. Watch and learn. Cool. Fridge. That's how you make people laugh. It's all about tact.
 
hogree: *laughs coldly*
 
Ms Isida: So, Mr. hogree. Any last words before you return to captivity? Want to say anything to the world while you have the chance?
 
hogree: Yes actually there is something I wanted to tell people for a long time thanks for the opportunity this interview has given me. I just wanted to say make sure you press spacebar when you want to shoot because then it shoots and so thats why you press spacebar so you can shoot which is due to pressing spacebar which coincidentally leads to a projectile ejecting from your turret also known as shooting unfortunately ms isida can't shoot projectiles because she's only just got some electric rubbish which doesnt even do anything if nobody is near you so i would not go and buy -
 
Ms Isida: And, that, readers is why you should never listen to reporters. They are quite obviously clueless. What a load of rubbish. Guards, take him away. I've heard enough.
 
hogree: Great talking to you Ms Isida oh and btw if any of you readers want a signed shirt text SHIRT to 43400 followed by your address you will be given a signed shirt terms and conditions apply texts cost £10 plus your standard message rate delivery will take 14 months and - *voice fades out into distance as he is dragged away*

 

hogree has been taken back to the dungeon. Next issue, I may return. And another of these witless writers may face me. As for you readers? Beware. The reporters are not all they seem to be.

[Mr.I3oSS 557]

Funneh :lol:

[Meliora 1,652]

Hmm, the beginning seems like the beginning of my one, but the rest is pretty good.

[MA3CTPO_HA_XAHTEP 832]

Haha, great one, I like it.  :D

[lordmostafa 3,821]

hogree: Yes actually there is something I wanted to tell people for a long time thanks for the opportunity this interview has given me. I just wanted to say make sure you press spacebar when you want to shoot because then it shoots and so thats why you press spacebar so you can shoot which is due to pressing spacebar which coincidentally leads to a projectile ejecting from your turret also known as shooting unfortunately ms isida can't shoot projectiles because she's only just got some electric rubbish which doesnt even do anything if nobody is near you so i would not go and buy

I'd say that is the funniest bit :lol:

But it was very funny, all of it, nice work m8.

[trombone_ftw 734]

Pure genius. Loved it even more than the Dictator, and I thought that was impossible!

[Promissory 569]

I laughed a lot :lol:

[GG_reg 1,521]

Very good but you're gonna make Ms Isida cross. I spotted a mistake!! (check the title - Miss Isida ) It's Ms isida :D

[Thekillerpenguin 1,731]

10/10 would read again

 

Let's see who's going next. ;)

[Magnificence 126]

Lol :D Nice

[naca7 143]

Haha. Nice!

[hogree 4,179]

Very good but you're gonna make Ms Isida cross. I spotted a mistake!! (check the title - Miss Isida ) It's Ms isida :D

[lukey0 27,543]

Nice :lol:

[I.Devastation 2,053]

hog it sounds like your talking to a female you...

[Raredust 454]

lol

 

hogree is funny.

[fayaz777 338]

:) nice lol

[rambobear11 21]

I <3 it all but at first I thought that miss isida was a real tanker u fought with

[IRAQ 16]

LOL  Nice  :blush: 

[Jboymark53 508]

Ms Isida: OH WOW I knew reporters were dumb, but that's about as moronic as it gets.

I laughed my head off. I didn't know moronic was a word, it was an inside joke I had with my sister and my friend.

But I can't believe you insulted isida, it is one of my favorite turrets!

Edited May 2, 2015 by Jboymark53

[snipe3000 678]

 

 

Ms Isida: "most tankmen hate me"

I do not hate you… or hogree… or you… or wait what was I talking about

[manish17 1,085]

Not good like the next issue.

[Quarks 2,255]

Is it possible to one-up GODMODE_ON??????????????????????

[Gunslinger300 45]

LOL